5 Things to Think With Rude Customers for Best Results
by Kate Nasser | 14 Comments »
Rude customers in customer service work do not have to wear to you down. Rude customers can actually be the best people-skills learning experience you will ever have. Think these 5 things when working with rude customers for best results and to avoid getting upset. I have been teaching people-skills, teamwork, and customer service for 20+ years. The right thoughts and mindset affect everything.
THINK these 5 things and let the people-skills learning begin!! Do it daily as a mantra and your outlook toward rude customers (and rude people in general) will change. Thoughts for Rude Customers By:Yogendra174
- Thorns don’t attack you; they protect them.
Plants have thorns to protect them. So do people. When you hear a person’s thorns, recognize their fear and weakness. The thorns are not attacking you. They are protecting them. Do not attack out of your fear and you will not get pricked by their thorns. - Easy doesn’t sharpen a thorn. One of the most common questions I receive is “Aren’t we teaching them to be rude next time if we are nice to rude customers this time?” No! Your positive responses do not teach them to be thornier! Thorny customers are adults who make their own decisions.
- De-thorning them will hurt you! If a stranger tried to kick down your defense mechanisms (like your front door), how would you react? The customers do not have a family relationships or close friendships with you. To them you are a stranger. If you try to clip their thorns directly, they will prick you back.
- Empathize Emotion; Don’t Analyze the Thorns! Trying to analyze a customer’s thorns in the few minutes you have to deliver service is not feasible or logical. It takes therapists years to analyze a client’s emotions. Yours is to deliver service, not to change the customer. Show empathy for their emotion; don’t analyze their thorns.
- Positivity Beats Equality; Don’t be a Thorn! During a recent workshop a technical support rep asked me “Why does a rude customer acting badly deserved to be treated well?”. I replied, “You treat the customer well because it works. It gets you to the end goal.” Treating the customer badly will not get the customer to treat you well. More importantly, it will veer you off course from business success. Positivity beats equality as a winning strategy in customer service.
Be the sun, not the thorn. You can’t change people yet you can influence the situation!
©2010-2011 Kate Nasser, The People-SKills Coach, Somerville, NJ.
If you with to reprint or republish this article or any portion of it, please email info@katenasser.com for permission. Thank you for honoring intellectual capital.
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, delivers inspiration to action for professional people-skills through workshops, keynotes, video webinars, training dvds, and consulting sessions. She has Masters degree in Organizational Psychology and 20 years of experience in customer service, teamwork, and leading change. Preview and get her new training dvd “Customer Service USA – Expectations Across America” by clicking on that box in the right sidebar on this site.
Kate, you rocked this old topic about handling rude customers with a completely different and unique perspective. I love #1 – Thorns don’t attack you they protect them.
That will be on my mind with rude customers and with people in general. You have moved me to a new outlook on life.
Thanks!
Sonya
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Hi Kate,
I love the analogy! The thorns are a visual most employees can connect with and understand. I especially like your first point: “thorns don’t attack you, they protect them”. What a fabulous way of looking at a customers’ behavior. They are simply trying to protect themselves and their best interests…not fully knowing whether the employee would do the same for them. This flows very nicely with number 3: the idea of having a defense mechanism as a way of protection. I like the challenge you pose: if someone were to attempt to knock down my front door (my first line of defense), it would simply add fuel to the fire. It would be more effective to knock on my door and see if I’m receptive. This will de-escalate a situation (when empathy is added, as you point out).
Another fantastic way of looking at dealing with and addressing an upset customer.
I appreciate your perspective and ability to communicate challenging situations in a non-threatening way.
Excellent!
Jen
Excellent. Thank you Kate. Always on time with great tips. The problem is to put them at work because we are dealing with human beings that have many issues.
Emotional issues that are difficult to deal with and difficult to understand too. I think it is all about managing our emotions. Our emotions, wow, we need to be in tune with our emotions and protect them at all times from cruel people that have never thought about their own emotions.
The more I think about this, the more I want to learn. If we are masters of our own emotions and deeply believe that we can handled whatever comes our way, we can then help others by showing them the opposite of what they are accustom to (cruel people).
Liz
Elizabeth
Kate,
I love this post. It never pays to be mean and nasty to people who are mean to you. I always say…kill them with kindness.
You made a great point when you said “thorns are not attacking you. They are protecting them. Do not attack out of your fear and you will not get pricked by their thorns.”
Thank you for directing me to this post Kate. I too love the analogy! I agree with the other comments that I especially like your first point. It is so very easy as an employee to want to take a customer’s attitude as a personal attack (especially with the ones that literally attack you personally–attacking your intelligence, kindness and what not). It is excellent advice to just change your mental image of that person to someone that is not attacking, but rather protecting.
Kate – a very thoughtful post and on point in my view. I once listened to an inspiring speaker who encouraged her audience to ‘not become what just happened to you.’ Your tips and pointers put that advice to beautiful use!
Exactly Jane and nice way of putting “Don’t become what just happened to you!”. Thanks for sharing your perspective and passing along what another inspirational speaker had to share.
To those reading Jane’s comment, find more of her insights on her Twitter feed http://twitter.com/TheHrGoddess.
All the best,
Kate
[...] 5 Things to Think With Rude Customers for Best Results – Kate Nasser is The People Skills Coach and it shows! She gives five tips on dealing with difficult customers. She uses the analogy of thorns on a rose and the imagery is wonderful. If you deal with people (who doesn’t?) then you really should subscribe to her feed and peruse her site. [...]
Thanks Kate !
Awesome article, great metaphor
Kate – once again, you’ve nailed it. And I have to tell you, I think #4 (don’t analyze them) is the key point. Let a shrink do his job; ours is customer SERVICE!
Thanks for your comment Ken. Love your analogy — let the therapists try to analyze and change the customer. Ours is to serve.
Appreciate your contribution here..
Kate
I tend to agree with your rules here. And thanks so much on your recent visit to my hub. I recently wrote a new hub entitled http://hubpages.com/hub/A-Letter-From-Your-Friendly-Waitress
Just a sarcastic note of sort for all the rudeness I go through in a night! lol
Though I try my hardest to be nice and deliever with a smile, it is hard. And actually I’m a very outspoken type of person who doesn’t like to be looked down upon because of my profession, and so it tends to be hard to bite my tounge and at times I just can’t help it. And in the few times I have opened my mouth to rude customers I have seen a change in their attuides tremondously! It’s weird how people act. I say, If you feel like you are having a bad day, keep it at home
[...] Being positive to thorny customers does not teach them to be ruder next time. A technical support analyst asked me “Why does a difficult customer deserve to be treated well when s/he is acting badly? Read the answers here … 5 Things to Think With Difficult & Rude Customers. [...]