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When has fear kept you stuck in a rut? At a fork in the road in your career? When your business stagnates in a bad economy? In a dead end situation that others tell you to leave?

As a coach, I hear clients describe their ruts. Fear has them stuck like gum on a shoe. Meanwhile one single step can remove the gum and get them moving.

When you want success, know you must change yet feel stuck, don’t let fear be the gum on your shoe.

Break free by finding people who have been through something similar — who no longer have gum on their shoes of course — who will share the steps that got the gum off their shoes!

It sounds obvious and here’s the logic.

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1. Fear of taking a step is lessened by learning from those who have survived the step.
2. Fear of the unknown is countered by those who now know the unknown.
3. Fear of acting oddly during the change turns to knowing smiles when you hear how they felt and behaved.
4. Fear of being wrong crumbles under the evidence of their experience.
5. Fear of being alone on the journey is eliminated when you travel it through their success.

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Well established support groups and their members thrive on these principles. Still many people have issues not defined by any established support group.

Fear not. Online chatters, social media friends, bloggers, authors, and professional coaches all have life experiences to share.

My graphics designer, Kimb Tiboni, has chronicled her Illogical Success with personal insight and real life experiences. I have overcome business hurdles and gained inspiration through friends, coaches, and Twitter chats.


Take one step now and leave your story in the comments section below:

One rut you broke out of and how you did it and/or

One rut you want to break out of and two answers you seek.

You want success? Don’t let fear be the gum on your shoe! Reach out and step forward in your life, career, and business.


What stops people from reaching out — when it’s so obvious that it is key to success?

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™


©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

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Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on customer service, teamwork, and leading change. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

With ONE Simple Question!

Leaders, managers, investors, parents, and coaches, are often realizing and mentoring someone’s big dream.

The bigger and more outlandish the dream, the greater the disbelief and concern.  This doubt can produce unhelpful reactions like “what are you thinking” or “it sounds too risky”.

Yet there is ONE simple question that powers success with both inspiration and practicality.

The ONE Simple Question

“What do you picture?”

This questions powers positive inquiry, broader and deeper perspective, dialogue, and research. It unearths understanding of:

1. What does the dreamer think it will take to make the dream a reality?
2. How complete or accurate is that picture?
3. What strengths and how much endurance does the dreamer have?
4. What obstacles does the dreamer foresee – internal and external?
5. How will the dreamer handle missteps and mistakes – psychologically and practically?
6. What help, truly, does the dreamer expect?

What do you picture is a far better question that what is your plan? The latter requires great foresight of details at the start yet doesn’t assess the dreamer’s true readiness.

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For leaders and managers with a tough career slot to fill, knowing the applicant’s vision of that job is critical to a successful decision.

For parents with wide-eyed teenagers or high achieving college students, asking what do you picture encourages them to consider their dream more deeply without killing their spirit.

For investors in new inventions, knowing how the inventor thinks and pictures the future will affect the win or lose.

For coaches, this one simple question — what do you picture – sets up a positive non-directive dialogue with those they coach.

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There will be time for plans and details. Yet if you skip the picture and go right to the plan, the plan will be incomplete. It will lack success factors that are found within the dreamer not within the plan.

Have you tried this question — what do you picture? What was the result and response?


From my experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach


©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

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Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, guides people from inspiration to action. Her workshops, consultations, keynotes, and DVDs, turn interaction obstacles into interpersonal success and business wins. View footage, keynote topics, workshop outlines, and customer results at this site.

Most everyone, new graduates and experienced workers,  want a  career RISE.  To succeed, connect into the true meaning of these four people-skills traits.

The deeper you understand, embrace, and develop these 4 people-skills traits, the more valuable you become to the business and the boss — decision makers, executives, and managers.

R – Reliability. We think of this mostly as deliver what you promise and/or what you are assigned. That’s expected not exceptional.

For a career rise, connect into personality styles of the leaders’ you work for and with.
Understand their hot buttons and stay a step ahead of their needs.
Know when/how to point out the risk of their view or impending decision.
Facilitate their actions to make the business successful and help them prevent the failures.

I – Integrity. Hold professional confidences, behave ethically, be accountable for your actions and energy, correct your mistakes without excuses, give more than is asked or expected. Integrity builds trust and trust delivers long term career success.

S – Self-confidence. Less neediness and more initiative from you make life easier for your boss.

What it is: Strength in tough times, comfort adapting to change, insight on how your talent and experience apply to new and different situations, collaboration without fear of losing your own individual success, managing your own ego.

What it isn’t: False bravado, know-it-all thinking, who’s better than whom attitude, disdain for diversity.

E – Excellence. Pursue excellence through constant learning, innovation, and honest self-evaluation. When you are always learning and accurately assessing needed improvements you give the company (and the boss) more ROI for its decision to hire you.

What is your ROI for developing these 4 people-skills traits? Career success.

The executive’s trust in you and reliance on your contributions is the catapult for your career rise and long term success. Imagine a boss saying “I’ve never met anyone I can rely on more” — and then get that designation!


What other traits and actions have given RISE to your career? Please share your voice in the comments section below. It can help many.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

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Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers people-skills workshops, keynotes, and consultations that take you and your teams from inspiration to action. Combining humor, practicality, and a passion for excellence, Kate re-inspires success in all those she touches. See this site for customers’ comments and book Kate now.

You see an ad for that job you want. It lists many skill sets. How do you apply for and get that job when you have some but not ALL of the skill sets listed? You must have a mindset beyond the job ad.


Mindset Beyond the Job Ad

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One of my clients was an accountant. There were no accounting jobs available. She saw a job ad for writing grants at a university. The job ad said grant writing experience needed. She had none. She sketched a clear picture of how her accounting experience made her perfect for the job — beyond the apparent money connection. She got the job.

Go beyond your list of technical skills and accomplishments. Sketch a true picture of yourself.

Use this list to honestly assess your strengths. It will help you to apply for that job, interview for that job, get that job, and do that job!

1. Are you the inventive creative type when given freedom? Can you also do it when under constraints?




2. Are you great at seeing the bigger picture beyond individual tasks?
3. Or are you truly better at digging in to the deep details?




4. Are you great at initiating change or better at contributing once it starts? Honest assessment of your mindset will guide you to jobs with a natural fit.




5. If you have great expertise in your technical area, are you also good at explaining/teaching it to others?




6. Do you have experience in quickly rotating on/off critical project teams?
7. Or do you have a special knack for building long term relationships within a team?




8. Do you learn very quickly?
9. Or is your talent persistence in figuring out confusing details and explaining clearly to others?




10. What about work excites you? When you dream about happiness at work, what is that picture? This is a critical question. Your mindset comes across in written and verbal communication.




11. What gives you satisfaction: working with customers, vendors, teammates, or high level executives?
12. Or do you shine at working behind the scenes to build processes and systems that make keep the organization moving forward?




13. Do you have experience with different cultures — in your personal life? Note all the specific ways this would be valuable to the organization. With this mindset, you will start looking at job ads that tap this talent!




14. How well do you give presentations in your area of expertise? Both introverts and extroverts can be great presenters. Businesses get two for the price of one when they hire someone that can do the work and present it to others!




15. What few words would your closest friends use to describe your strongest traits? This objectivity is priceless to help you get that job.

Now sketch a picture of yourself with words. Be concise, punchy, and include the benefits to your potential employer using key words from the job ad. If writing is not your strength, get help from someone who writes well. Even accomplished writers have editors.

Not only will you have a better chance to get that job; you will have a better chance to get a job that fits your natural talents and interests.

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What other questions help sketch a clearer picture of yourself in order to get that job? Do you want my coaching experience to help sketch your picture? Just let me know!


©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. For permission to re-post or republish, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

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Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, inspires change and action through creativity and practicality. Her workshops, keynotes, dvds, and coaching sessions engage all with inspiration to action. Kate turns your interaction obstacles into professional success. See this site for more information.

Can you think of someone who would not want to be called the best? Most business leaders and professionals would beam at this honor. Being the best means you have an extreme strength. It emerges from a natural talent or intense study, practice and development.

Yet there is a weakness to every extreme strength. That weakness is the undeveloped counter-strength you might need today or in the next step of your career.

For self-development, traditional wisdom says:
#1 Be aware of your weakness
#2 Know how to change
#3 Have the desire to change


Why does the weakness often persist?

1. The organization taps you for your strength. More of your time is spent using a strength than developing a counter-strength.
2. Using the strength feels better than the struggle of developing a weakness. We yield to the positive feelings.
3. Being called the best can create overconfidence and block growth. Consider, when are you too confident to learn?
4. Believing that the counter-strength is inconsistent with the extreme strength. Picture a strong analytic who relies heavily on data and looks down on those who don’t. How likely is this analytic to develop and use big picture thinking necessary in a leadership position?
5. Fearing that it will weaken the extreme strength. For example, strong driver personalities who push for the end results are afraid that learning participative leadership will undermine success.

Overcoming the grip of extreme strength:

1. If the organization is the block, ask for a short project where you can learn a counter-strength.
2. If the positive feelings are holding you back, picture the negative feelings of being unprepared for the next skill set needed.
3. If overconfidence is trapping you, find a trusted friend or mentor to snap you out of it with honest feedback.
4. If are stuck in one belief, search for examples to test the accuracy of it. Is it a feeling or a fact? If it is a feeling, you can stretch past it and develop a counter-strength.
5. If fear of failure is stopping you, find people who have your strength and the counter-strength you need. Their balanced success can move you past your fear.

How have you developed counter-strengths to balance your greatest strengths? What success have you had that will help others? Please share your story below.


©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. For permission to re-post or republish, please email info@katenasser.com.

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Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, turns change obstacles into your professional success with inspiration to action. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote features, footage to view, and customer testimonials.

Business success — be it corporate, mid-size enterprises, innovative start-ups, or small businesses - depends on the positive can do attitude. It is also weakened and destabilized by a bad attitude.

For business success, leaders, inspire people to choose a positive attitude but don’t coach a bad attitude. The latter is a waste of time and money. The team members who bring a positive can do attitude use your inspiration to deliver success. An employee with a bad attitude just uses you.

Are you surprised to hear me, The People-Skills Coach, say don’t coach a bad attitude?  Well, I am not speaking about an employee who offers a different view, contributes alternate solutions, or is having a bad day.  I am referring to an employee who under performs, is under-motivated, constantly negative, analyzes but doesn’t deliver, or refuses to work with necessary constraints.

One leader recently asked me, how long do you work on the bad morale of a negative employee? I replied, never!  You cannot work on someone’s morale.  People choose and own their individual attitudes.

Coaching a bad attitude means you are spending time on their mission instead of the mission of the organization.

Positive can do team members …

• Offer realistic solutions to fix frustrating/difficult situations they don’t like.
• Own their occasional bad day.  When they ask for assistance, they try the suggestions you offer vs. negating your ideas and continuing to complain.
• Learn from many situations – the good and the bad – instead of complaining about them.
• Initiate actions to deliver success.

If you are thinking or saying the following about a constantly negative team member, you are enabling a bad attitude:

“But this employee …”

• “Just needs more time to develop a positive attitude.”
• “Will come around eventually.”
• “Is still recovering from the previous bad boss.”
• “Is having a rough year.”
• “Is young/immature.”
• “Is good in a crisis.”

Would upper management be swayed by these reasons when trying to assess the value of your organization? Or would they ask you to calculate the cost of having employees who don’t use positive attitudes to fuel outstanding results?

What can you expect instead? A positive attitude to create business success now; someone who is capable of choosing a positive attitude doesn’t need more time.  An employee who had a dictatorial boss before could be thrilled by a chance to work with a better leader now.  Young employees can be positive about the possibilities that lie ahead. Team members who are good in a crisis have the mental strength to choose a can do attitude daily.

Leaders, if you struggle with the idea of expecting a positive attitude, ask yourself why?

Do you:

• Want to be liked more than you want to achieve success
• Fear the necessary conversation about a bad attitude
• Believe you have the power to change people
• Believe that expecting and requiring a positive attitude means you are a tyrant/ogre
• Feel bad about yourself if an employee has a bad attitude toward the job
• Believe that positive employees won’t want to work in your organization

I see this trend among: certain personality types, managers who are leading their former peers, and leaders who replaced a rough demoralizing micro-manager.  Yet coaching a bad attitude doesn’t change the bad attitude.

It can also demoralize the committed team members who endure the bad attitude while you try — in vain — to coach. It takes you all off course.

Get back on track. Expect a positive attitude and inspire the possibilities that come from it!

Feature team successes and lessons learned.  Recognize innovative thought, outstanding effort, commitment, and action.  Express your appreciation at the end of the week for tough situations handled well.  Let no complainer disillusion or distract you and the team from the true mission.

Positive attitudes are not denial of the difficulties the team faces.  They are the very fuel for overcoming obstacles to reach business success.

Create an environment for a positive can do attitude and then expect it from everyone.

What other actions do you recommend to create an environment for a can do attitude? I welcome your comments below.

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Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, delivers inspiration action to corporate teams in diverse industries and verticals. She is tapped especially during times of great opportunity and change. See this site for keynotes, workshop outlines, and testimonials.

Corporate leaders, managers, supervisors: Do you have a workplace employee, a direct report, with an attitude problem — negative, or sarcastic, or controlling, or non-collaborative, self-focused, etc …? Feedback from others tells you that it is affecting teamwork, morale, customer service, or the organization’s reputation?

After outlining with the employee how the behavior needs to change, you notice that the behavior persists. No changes. One manager decided that one such employee needed coaching and decided to be the coach.

Are you, as boss, the correct workplace coach for a direct report? Is it a conflict of interest?

You might think that you would make a great workplace coach for a direct report since you know the problem and interact frequently. Let’s think further.

Conflict of Interest

1. With issues of attitude, will your employee honestly tell you if he doesn’t want to change? Or will he say he is trying when he isn’t.
2. As you coach, will you become emotionally attached to your employee and let his attitude and behavior take precedence over the organization’s goals? “He has had a rough year.” “He or she is valuable anyway.”
3. Even with specific goals for a direct report to improve/change within a certain time frame, will you be able to take decisive action if he or she doesn’t improve? Or will you question your coaching skill or struggle with the employee’s struggle?

It is possible to maintain your objectivity and be an effective coach. I have witnessed it. I have also seen managers (like the boss in the opening example) who decide to coach because they cannot make a decision about an employee who is in the wrong job.

If you have shown that you focus on the organization’s results and inspire/require positive action from all to get there, you may not fall prey to emotion and doubt. You know the difference between coaching and parenting and your employees will see the difference as well.

If this is not your strength, let someone else who is objective and unbiased coach your direct reports. (FYI:The employees would need to be aware that the coach will update you with progress reports.)

If you struggle with tough people decisions even with input from an outside coach, consider engaging a coach yourself. A coach will help you identify the underlying reasons you struggle with this and what to do about it. Your career will take on new possibilities as you discover more about yourself. From there, options will seem clearer and less daunting.

What are your thoughts on this topic?

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please first email info@katenasser.com for terms of use. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

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Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, customer service, customer experience, and teamwork. She turns interaction obstacles into business success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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