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Be Authentic Without Scaring People Away!

Many say — be authentic! It’s important to a happy successful life. Yes, unless it overruns others. Then it is obnoxious even scary.



Be Authentic Without Scaring People Away Image is Titan Moon.

Be Authentic & Without Scaring Others Away. Image by Valerie Klavens via Flickr.

Image by Val Klavens via Flickr Creative Commons License.


11 Steps to Be Authentic & Not Scare Others Away

  1. Be authentic and tactful. Authenticity doesn’t justify being rude and hurtful. It doesn’t mean saying everything without a filter.


  2. Treat others the way they want to be treated. It shows basic human respect. Observe them. Listen and understand their views. Don’t assume they want to be treated the way you want to be treated. You can be authentic and respect others’ views and preferences.

  3. Be honest not blunt. “I disagree or I see it differently” is honest. “That’s foolish or stupid” is blunt. Honest is truthful and the way to be authentic. Blunt is skewed with your slant or emotion. Be honest and tactful to be authentic.


  4. Think coexistence not conquering. You can be authentic and welcome others’ authenticity.

  5. Live with confidence AND humility. Confidence enables you to reveal who you are. Humility allows you to see who others’ are. It isn’t a fake shell. It’s an inner belief of continuous learning. Humility honors everyone (you and others) without minimizing anyone. Be confident and humble to be authentic.


  6. As a teammate, recognize your talents AND those of others. You can be authentic and speak about your talents IF you applaud others’ talents as well. Else, it seems obnoxious and self-absorbed.

  7. As a leader, lead with empathy and appreciation. Inspire, engage, and appreciate those your lead. The relationships you build allow you to lead even in tough times without fear tactics. Be appreciative of others to be authentic without scaring them.

  8. Be courteous and polite. It doesn’t mean you’re fake. It doesn’t mean you agree with them. It means you can show respect even in disagreement. Civility allows everyone to embrace authenticity.

  9. Understand and manage your expectations. Expectations can both define and communicate who you are. Dumping those expectations on others is not being authentic. It’s presumptuous and overbearing. Be authentic by knowing and managing your expectations.

  10. Moderate your frustrations don’t fry others with them. When you are frustrated with others, venting on them is not authentic. It’s insensitive. Take a minute to calm your anger and then communicate what you want in a reasonable way. “Stop whining” is rude and hurtful. “How can we solve this problem” is respectful and focused.

  11. Choose your words wisely. The language is rich with words to describe your authentic thoughts and feelings. The old saying “It’s not what you say it’s how you say it” is still true today. Avoid words that label or minimize others. “You’re just upset …” minimizes others feelings. “I can see you are upset with me …” shows a sincere authentic awareness. Be authentic through great communication!



Authenticity Without Angst – How to Get Started

Who are you? Write a description of the authentic you. Include how you want to be treated. Write down some examples of when you find it difficult to be authentic and still consider others’ needs. Now re-read the list above. How can you apply the eleven steps to those moments?



You will be able to balance your needs with others. You will see that it doesn’t reduce your authenticity. It attracts people to it!.

Share your success here! How have you balanced your needs and others?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
18 Things Respected Well-Liked Leaders Consistently Do
Be Selfless & Giving Not Faceless & Fake

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.




QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Customer Service: Defensive Answers Always Backfire


Customer Service Defensiveness: Image is the word STOP.

Customer Service: Stop the Defensiveness. Image by: Lucas Cobb.

Image by Lucas Cobb via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Picture It! A customer tells you or your teammate didn’t get back in touch with them, has been unresponsive, missed a deadline, gave them an incorrect answer, was rude and non-empathetic, or a host of other negative information.


What Many Team Members Hear. You are a failure. You are no good. In an attempt to recover their sense of self-confidence and feel good, they then tell the customer why the customer service was bad. Being defensive like this is pure folly. It makes you seem self-absorbed, insecure, and mediocre.



What the Customer is Really Saying. Help me and rebuild my trust in your brand. The truly memorable response includes empathy for the inconvenience, attention to fixing it now, and in some cases, compensation for the inconvenience and trouble. Once you have solved the issue in question, you might provide information on how this error will be prevented in the future if it was a serious error. This impresses the customer. This brings them back to your brand for more memorable experiences.



The folly of being defensive in business is that it reduces trust, makes working with you difficult rather than easy, and demeans your professional image. Avoid this defensive dribble.

You will regain customer’s trust when you take ownership of your mistakes, offer a sincere apology for the trouble, and fix the errors. It sends out the cheer of integrity, the warmth of caring, and loads of professional competence. It is worth celebrating. It is truly memorable. It will echo in customers’ minds for quite some time. It delivers progress to your business and sets you apart.


What else makes for truly memorable customer service? What do you expect as a customer?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
The One Word That Destroys the Perfect Apology
Empathy & Integrity: 5 Ways to Rebuild Customer Trust

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.




QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Social Networking: JOIN Us in People Skills Global Twitter Chat!

WHEN: Sunday April 26, 2015 at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Background on This Chat Topic: Social Networking

As digital communication continues to take center stage, we turn our People Skills chat focus to social networking.

Hosting for me in my absence is Chantal Bechervaise social networking maven, HR professional, and people skills community moderator. Chantal unites a love of people and a passion for technology into great social networking skill. Her blog Take It Personelly reflects this well!



Social Networking: Image is People skills logo

Social Networking: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Social Networking People Skills: Beyond the Technology

Many people realize the challenge of interacting with others face to face and on the phone. Multiply that to realize and address the challenge of interacting with the world online! So let’s dig in and explore social networking people skills in this week’s people skills chat.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance. Actual questions about respecting boundaries will post live during the chat.

  • How do you define social networking? Is it different from social media?
  • Why has social networking become so popular even in everyday life?
  • Because of the reach, is social networking always impersonal? Pls. explain.
  • What are the differences between in-person networking and social networking?
  • How does social networking change your life? Your business?
  • How can you bring your authenticity to social networking without going to far? Tips?
  • What are the disadvantages to social networking, if any?
  • How can people skills tangibly improve social networking?


So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join the people skills global chat community this Sunday April 26, 2015 10am EDT on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to discuss social networking people skills.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, and LinkedIn. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your individual insights.

Special thanks this week to Chantal Bechervaise who is hosting in my absence and continued thanks to generous chat moderators Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer, Jandis Price and Tom Rhodes for their time and insightful contributions.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Chat on Twitter #peopleskills this Sunday April 26, 2015 10am EDT/7am PDT to explore social networking people skills.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. April 26, 2015 10am EDT in People Skills Global Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) TOPIC: Social Networking People Skills.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Restarting Success: Replace Regret With 7 Certainties


Restarting Success: Image is small hot air balloon next off from large one.

Restarting Success: 7 Certainties to Turn Regret Into Success Image by: chicadecasa via Flickr.

Image by chicadecasa via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Restarting Success: 7 Certainties About Beginning Again

Whether restarting with a new relationship, more schooling, a career path, a new business, relocation, or healthier living, soar with the certainties of success.

  1. Restarting success is always an option — if we choose it.
  2. Past regrets are only permanent if we choose to live them again. Change behavior.
  3. The bigger pattern of woulda, shoulda, coulda shows the true success to go after now. See the pattern and the lesson — instead of obsessing over each event.
  4. There are infinite paths to create success. Be hungry and curious! Then pick one that makes sense now.
  5. Restarting success is easier than starting — because of the lessons learned!
  6. Habit can be a bully that stops us from changing. Cast off old habits and create new ones! Begin again with new behaviors. “Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters.” ~Nathaniel Emmons.
  7. As long as we are alive, restarting success is an option. Don’t let fear say it isn’t!





Woulda, shoulda, coulda is a useless lament that keeps us stuck. Life is rich and full of opportunities if we begin again with a new mindset.

I travelled three career paths before starting my own business. Not easy but very achievable — without regrets.


When have you restarted success & where did it take you?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Want Success? Don’t Let Fear Be the Gum on Your Shoe
Give Rise to Your Success w/ These People Skills Traits

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.




QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Courageous Employees: Essentials to Leading the Hesitant & Courageous

Leaders and managers, do you have some courageous employees and others who are more hesitant? What troubles arise when they try to collaborate and innovate? What if the employees are more courageous than you?



Courageous Employees: Image is a big ferris wheel.

Courageous Employees: Essentials to Leading & Managing Them

Image via Pexels.


5 Essentials to Leading Hesitant & Courageous Employees

Courageous employees tend to be natural change agents. They question the rules. Their solutions to problems push the limits. They innovate and stretch the boundaries. They are naturally engaged at work. However …



If leaders do nothing to address this, courageous employees often leave to work for startups, companies with high performance teams, innovative enterprises, or start their own businesses. Meanwhile, leaders and managers continue to work on inspiring courage in employees!

As the old saying goes, be careful what you wish for, you may get it. If you inspire courage, you have to lead and manage courageous employees.



Leaders and managers, here’s how …

  1. Develop your self-awareness. How comfortable are you with change? Write down some recent examples where courageous employees made you feel uncomfortable. Why? Note all the reasons.

  2. Define what you think is a change agent and what is a loose cannon? There’s a difference and it is essential to distinguish one from the other. Compare what you have written here to your self-awareness notes in step #1. How do they compare? If the business needs change and innovation, address your own fears of courageous employees and change.

  3. Now engage employees in this discussion. Beyond the basic vision you have, what key issues and questions about courage do they raise? This will uncover contradictions between your vision and your actions. It will also highlight interaction struggles between hesitant and courageous employees. This openness is essential to collaboration, innovation, and change.

  4. Clear the fog of misinterpretation. Courageous employees may mislabel step-by-step thinking as change resistance. Hesitant employees may label the change agent’s zeal as dominating and even pushy. Have everyone use examples of how words and behaviors come across. From there, they can adapt to each other for collaboration and change.

  5. Empower everyone to raise the essential change challenge. When collaboration gets stuck, everyone must be ready to ask: Are we resisting change OR are we actually working through details to move forward? This essential question replaces the frustration of getting stuck with communication, understanding, and action.


Above all, leaders and managers, remember that courageous employees don’t automatically lead others out of change resistance. They can have a positive influence. Yet, I’ve also witnessed stalemates that demoralized everyone and drove courageous employees out of the company. I’ve heard hesitant team members say to courageous employees, “We’re not strong like you.”


Replace these stalemates with vision and communication. Have everyone discuss what courage in your workplace is, how to develop it, and how to manage it!



What other team challenges arise from different levels of courage?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Are You a Maverick or a Courageous Change Agent?
5 Essentials to Building 21st Century Teams

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.




QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Lead Smartly: Reject Dumb Denials & Lead Change!

Successful leaders use courage, IQ, social intelligence, and emotional intelligence (EQ) to lead smartly. Their beliefs and actions are markedly different from others. Most especially, they seek the truth even when it is uncomfortable! They reject dumb denials that trap others in the status quo and inaction.



Lead Smartly: Image is May Angelou quote Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue consistently.

Lead Smartly: Dumb Denials Smart Leaders Reject. Image by Rachel via Flickr.

Grateful for image by Rachel via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Lead Smartly: 5 Dumb Denials Emotionally Intelligent Leaders Reject

Behind each of these mistaken beliefs, is a dumb denial that sink many leaders. Don’t get trapped. Reject these dumb denials and lead smartly!

  1. If you can’t measure it, it doesn’t exist. Truly absurd.

    It wipes out all sorts of experience, intuition, information etc… Overly cautious leaders deny the truth — that much exists even when we can’t measure it. Smart leaders live in the truth. They don’t deny it. They have the courage to lead smartly from many sources.


  2. No news is good news. Truly dangerous.

    It limits valuable communication to negative announcements and problem solving. Leaders who shy away from showing appreciation, from recognizing talents, and from communicating well, leave untapped potential and morale on the floor. When these leaders speak only the bad news, performance suffers. Smart leaders inspire and engage with communication. They build their influence through relationships.


  3. People skills are inborn. Truly short-sighted.

    When leaders live this belief, they are denying the diversity that challenges human interaction. It takes people skills training to have people stay productive with others. Engaging leaders make time for their teams’ people skills development, especially for team building and how to work through conflict.


  4. Arrogance is a sign of confidence. It inspires others and produces great results. Truly dumb.

    Arrogance is not confidence. It doesn’t inspire teammates. It annoys them and drives them away. It disrespects others and reduces collaboration. The truth is that confidence is rooted in continuous learning. It prevents arrogance from taking root. Smart leaders address the stifling behavior of arrogant employees even if it’s uncomfortable.


  5. Emotion is unproductive. Truly out-of-date.

    Smart leaders tap emotion to lead smartly, encourage innovation, and spearhead change. They don’t label it as unproductive. They tap employee passion — a form of emotion — to ignite the talents the company hired. They show appreciation — a form of emotion — to increase commitment and reduce complaints. They give empathy when teams are struggling and encouragement to help them over the obstacles. Conversely, leaders who deny the value of emotion look weak and antiquated.



Step out of the comfort of denial and lead smartly. Inspire people with your emotional intelligence, vision, and willingness to handle the tough moments. It shows just how much you believe in what you are leading. If you don’t, why should they?




What other dumb denials hold leaders & teams back?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
18 Things Respected Well-Liked Leaders Consistently Do
13 Lies Weak Leaders Bequeath to Everyone
Modern Leadership & Teamwork: Be Selfless Not Faceless

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.




QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Leaders, Don’t Mislabel All Issues as Personality Conflict

Leaders who are averse to conflict, quickly mislabel interaction issues as — just a personality conflict.

It’s one of those feel good denial reactions that creates additional problems. Mislabelling it as a personality conflict ignites hidden resentments. It also fails miserably as it overlooks the true issues to be resolved. That’s not to say that a personality conflict can’t arise. It can.

Yet there are many other causes of interaction difficulty. People may have different definitions of team and teamwork. There may be low trust or little respect. It’s important to determine the true causes instead of writing it all off to just a personality conflict.



Mislabelled Personality Conflict: Image is cracked eggs.

Not all trouble is a personality conflict. Image by Quinn Dumbrowski

Image by: Quinn Dombrowski via Flickr Creative Commons License.



An Illustration

A new leader (Bill) joined the leadership team. He has 5 peers and each oversees a different department. They and their teams must interact to deliver a wow customer experience. During the first week, Bill makes many demands on the peer he interacts with the most (Pat). He ultimately says to Pat, “I always get my way.”

When Pat requests a more team based approach, Bill takes offense. The high level leader (Lee) meets with Bill and Pat and says, “you two are having a personality conflict.”


Lee made a big mistake. He lost Pat’s trust that day. Assuming that two people who are having a conflict are having a personality conflict solves nothing. It also makes the leader (Lee) look weak and illogical.



What to Do Instead?

  • Establish and Honor a Baseline. Leaders who engage everyone in developing effective baseline behaviors pave the road to success. In today’s culturally diverse workplace, discussions expand understanding and prevent lots of conflicts. Once people establish baseline behaviors, it’s much easier to see errant behavior from a personality conflict.

    Important baseline behaviors to discuss:

    1. Behaviors for shared spaces
    2. Rules on texting during important meetings
    3. Acceptable ways to disagree and discuss strong views
    4. Handling aggressive and passive aggressive behavior


  • Dig to Discover. If the interaction issues in question are not errant behaviors, then find out what’s happening. To do this well, leaders must promise those who speak up that they will not be punished or minimized for the information they offer.

    It works well to have everyone involved to say what they are experiencing and what they would like to experience instead. This prevents gripe fests and discovers workable solutions.



  • Follow-through. Even if you are using HR or outside consultants to help you through this, leaders must stay involved. It is your expectation of improvement and your follow-through that bolsters employees’ commitment. Interaction affects the bottom line.

    Don’t just delegate this to someone and turn away. Assess, inspire, and stay involved.


Risks to Mislabeling Issues as Personality Conflict



  • Divisiveness. When leaders skip over discovering the trouble, the trouble persists. Un-addressed issues fester and feed frustration. Resentment grows as the leaders replace the truth with their assumptions of a personality conflict.


  • Mistrust and disrespect. Employees tap leaders for their insight, objectivity, strength, and honesty. When leaders tap dance around the issue instead of thinking it through, people lose trust and respect for those leaders. The loss of trust lingers and impacts the organization’s results.

  • Self-protection. When someone raises an issue about interaction problems and the leaders quickly pass it off as personality conflict, people think they are being punished for speaking up. After that, those who raised the issues go into self-protection mode. They block the open mindset needed for resolution and organizational success.

  • Weakened Core Values. The modern workplace is sustained with core values of respect, honesty, truth, and accountability. When leaders twist any situation into something it isn’t, it undermines interaction that could otherwise keep the organization moving forward. Whether it’s leader to leader, employee to employee, or leader and employee, discovering the true issues and addressing them appropriately secures the core values of success.





Most everyone can see the value in positive workplace interaction. What some leaders don’t see is that they play a key role in sustaining it through their accurate assessment. This doesn’t mean you are babysitting — a metaphor often misapplied in these moments. You are leading!

There is even evidence to show that employees leave jobs because of mislabelled un-addressed interpersonal issues that have made work intolerable. In the end, leaders who invest in sustaining the core values of interaction inspire collaboration and fuel success.


What other workplace behaviors is it valuable to discuss?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
18 Things Respected Well-Liked Leaders Consistently Do
Leadership to Reverse a Hostile Workplace
Tapping the Profitable Secrets of Personality Types

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.




QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Diverse Workplace Collaboration: JOIN us in #Peopleskills chat and share your views.

WHEN: Sunday March 29, 2015 at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Background on This Chat Topic: Diverse Workplace Collaboration

Just how tough is collaboration? Do we grow up knowing how or learning how to do it? Or perhaps it’s something that some people love to do and others don’t. Yet when they get into the workforce, collaboration seems to be required. Very few people do all their tasks alone! JOIN our #Peopleskills Twitter chat this Sunday to explore diverse workplace collaboration!

My special co-host on this topic is Jon Mertz. leadership consultant and author of Activate Leadership: Aspen Truths to Empower Millennial Leaders. Jon’s contribution to cross-generational productivity is extensive and his social media presence shares that expertise across many platforms. You can read his blog posts and tap his expertise at ThinDifference.com.



Diverse Workplace Collaboration: Image is People skills logo

Diverse Workplace Collaboration: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Diverse Workplace Collaboration: How to Make It Stronger!

Many people connect. Do they truly collaborate especially when they have different perspectives? JOIN us in #Peopleskills global Twitter chat to explore diverse workplace collaboration.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

  • Many connect; not everyone collaborates. What’s the difference?
  • What makes a person suited for collaboration?
  • What sparks and sustains diverse workplace collaboration?
  • How do you prevent or manage conflict in collaboration?
  • How does collaboration make a difference in the workplace?
  • What people skills breed more than connection — in other words collaboration?
  • OPINION: Is it tough to collaborate with people who are different from you? Why/why not?
  • What skills do you need to collaborate when you can’t be together in the same place?
  • What group dynamics change when collaborators have different perspectives?
  • If diverse generations openly collaborate in trust, what will the next 10 years look like at work?
  • How can leaders create a collaborative culture with so much diversity in the workplace?
  • Why do some leaders not promote collaboration?


So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join me and the people skills global chat community this Sunday March 29, 2015 on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to diverse workplace collaboration.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

Special thanks to my co-host this week Jon Mertz. My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, and LinkedIn. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your individual insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer, Jandis Price and Tom Rhodes for their time and insightful contributions.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Chat on Twitter #peopleskills this Sunday March 29, 2015 10am EDT/7am PDT to diverse workplace collaboration.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. March 29, 2015 10am EDT in People Skills Global Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) TOPIC: Diverse Workplace Collaboration.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Teamwork Productivity: Why Can’t Everyone Automatically Get Along?


Leaders call me when they want teamwork productivity to improve. Their frustration pours out in the question:


Why can’t people just get along and stop the petty squabbles?”



Teamwork Productivity: image is 2 chess pieces in face to face standoff.

Teamwork Productivity: Reasons Why People Can’t Automatically Get Along Image by Juan Ignacio Sánchez Lara via Flickr.


Image by Juan Ignacio Sánchez Lara via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Teamwork Productivity: 21 Reasons Why Employees Can’t Just Get Along

There are many reasons why employees can’t automatically get along.

  1. They have different personality types and don’t know how to adapt or don’t want to.
  2. They feel overrun by mavericks on the team who don’t collaborate.
  3. Their low emotional intelligence keeps squabbles alive.
  4. Respect is low
  5. Trust is low.
  6. They have different personal career goals.
  7. They come from different cultures and with different mores.
  8. They are competing for a limited number of promotional opportunities.
  9. They have different habits which drive each other crazy.
  10. They have different definitions of team and teamwork.
  11. Teams goals and acceptable team behaviors aren’t clear.
  12. They have old baggage that affects today’s behavior.
  13. They slow or stop interacting to avoid conflict.
  14. There is bullying going on that you haven’t addressed or don’t even know about.
  15. They don’t know how to disagree in a productive way. Instead, they express thoughts and emotions in an aggressive way.
  16. Some who seem to work harder resent those who seem to work less.
  17. There are some team members who give orders to others instead of asking. “Get me those numbers right away!” This lowers teamwork productivity.
  18. You have a blame culture and people are pulling back to avoid failure.
  19. Change agents who are innovating are disrespecting past and current efforts. People take offense and interaction suffers. (FYI: You don’t have to demean the past to create the future.)
  20. Leaders aren’t forthright about upcoming changes and the rumor mill reduces teamwork and productivity.
  21. Leaders don’t express appreciation and recognition for employees’ work and talents so they don’t express it to each other. Low inspiration = low engagement and teamwork productivity.


When employees ask you, the leader, to help with these struggles, telling them to work it out themselves or stop complaining makes matters worse. If they could, they would.

Delegating it someone else to handle won’t settle matters either.




What Does Work?

  • Ask, listen, and explore options. Involve the teams in making things better.
  • Redefine teamwork. Most leaders and teams are still defining it as a group of people working toward common goals and results. And you see where that’s gotten you. A team actually is: people growing, changing, and adapting to reach a shared success. If you don’t include growing, changing, adapting in your definition of a team, people work on common goals purely from their own style and view. You then end up on the list of 21 troubles.
  • As a leader, increase your emotional self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Leadership is about inspiring and influencing others. This creates a better work environment and minimizes the 21 troubles.
  • Tap outside help. Independent team builders bring specialized expertise, fresh perspectives, objectivity, and the ability to say things that insiders can’t risk saying.


Most importantly, don’t let these troubles fester. Although you can’t prevent all of them, you can address interaction troubles as they surface. Left alone, these struggles become long held grudges with insurmountable barriers.




In your experience, what else stops people from working well together?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Teamwork Productivity: 5 Essentials to Build 21st Century Teams
Modern Leadership & Teamwork: Be Selfless Not Faceless
18 Things Respected Well-Liked Leaders Consistently Do
One Giant Communication Blunder & One Easy Fix

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Healthcare People Skills: JOIN us in #Peopleskills chat share your view.

WHEN: Sunday March 22, 2015 at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Background on This Chat Topic: Healthcare People Skills

How do doctors, nurses, physician assistants, physical therapists, medical assistants and medical technicians treat you? I don’t mean the medical treatments they give you. I mean how good are their people skills? Do they show empathy? Do they listen? Do they respond well to questions or rush about and cut you off? Our #Peopleskills Twitter chat explores healthcare people skills this Sunday.

My wonderful co-host is Dr. Gia Sison. Dr. Sison is a practicing physician, breast cancer survivor, and first Philippine leader of Livestrong Foundation. She is a powerful voice on social media about healthcare and healing. She faclitates the #HealthXPh Twitter chat and lends her voice to other online healthcare convos.



Healthcare People Skills: Image is People skills logo

Healthcare People Skills: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Healthcare People Skills: Do They Matter?

Do healthcare providers still care about bedside manner? Do medical, nursing, and physical therapy schools highlight it? Do they teach the importance of listening and getting the patient’s story? JOIN us in #Peopleskills global Twitter chat to explore healthcare people skills.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

  • When you are the patient, how important are the people skills of those treating you?
  • What people skills are important in providing excellent healthcare?
  • What happens when medical office staff and those providing direct care have poor people skills?
  • How can healthcare providers & staff be more open to patient questions?
  • Think of the doctors you truly like and trust? How do they behave? Why do you like and trust them?
  • How do cultural differences impact people skills and healthcare?
  • How can everyone involved in delivering healthcare develop better people skills?


So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join me and the people skills global chat community this Sunday March 22, 2015 on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to explore healthcare people skills.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

Special thanks to my co-host this week Dr. Gia Sison. My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, and LinkedIn. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your individual insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer, Jandis Price and Tom Rhodes for their time and insightful contributions.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Chat on Twitter #peopleskills this Sunday March 22, 2015 10am EDT/7am PDT to healthcare people skills.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. March 22, 2015 10am EDT in People Skills Global Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) TOPIC: Healthcare People Skills.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Difficult Customer Moments: Free Your Mind!


With more than twenty years of teaching how to handle difficult customer moments, I can attest to one eternal truth:

Both the obstacle and the pathway to handing difficult moments with customers are in the mind — our minds, not theirs.



Difficult Customer Moments: Image is sign that says free your mind now!

Free Your Mind to Deliver Superior Service in Difficult Customer Moments Image by: EnvironmentBlog

Image by: Environmentblog via Creative Commons License


In Difficult Customer Moments: Free Our Minds!

First and most importantly, let’s free our minds of the disdainful phrase — difficult customer — and replace it with the empowering phrase, difficult moment. This changes our outlook from one of resentment and disregard to empowered action. We don’t resent customers and who they are. We work to remedy the difficulty.

Secondly replace our desperate lament “Why Me”, with the mind freeing phrase “What If”.



What If …

  1. The customer has goals we don’t understand yet?
  2. The customer’s personality is different from ours?
  3. There’s an urgency we are not aware of?
  4. The customer has insight beyond ours?
  5. There are cultural differences causing stress?
  6. The customer simply feels confused and worried?
  7. The customer is pressed for time?
  8. Trust is still lacking?



And What If …

  1. We listen carefully to hear what the customer is saying and not saying?
  2. We adapt to the customer’s personality type to build the bond?
  3. We explore to detect the urgent pressure?
  4. We hear the need instead of an attack to learn the bigger picture?
  5. We let the customer set the cultural bent?
  6. We clear confusion to relieve the worry?
  7. We empathize and then get to resolving the issue?
  8. We do everything we can to rebuild trust?



The phrase “What if” lights up the creative parts of our brain freeing us from the emotional trap of defensiveness. When we free our minds of labels and blame, we see and hear invaluable information, alternate views, and previously undetected possibilities.

Open-mindedness transforms the difficult customer moment from heavy burden to superior customer service. Our adaptability and new thinking show the customer our professional care and that echoes throughout the customer’s community.



Action Summary
In difficult customer moments, silently ask yourself these what ifs. This mind freeing approach will:

  • Keep you calm and caring.
  • Stop you from telling the customer “calm down.” (Don’t ever say this!)
  • Tool you with great questions to ask the customer.
  • Improve your listening.
  • Fuel you with ideas on how to resolve the problem.
  • Lift your spirit and sustain your morale.
  • Wow the customer with care and great service recovery.



When have you received great care as a customer when you were upset?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
5 Powerful Beliefs & Actions to Win Over Rude or Angry Customers
24 Customer Service Tips to Make it Easy for Customers

©2012-2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Forgiveness: JOIN us in #Peopleskills chat to explore this.

WHEN: Sunday March 15th, 2015 at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Background on This Chat Topic: Forgiveness at Work and In Life

A recent article in Forbes magazine caught my eye. Forgiveness – The Least Understood Leadership Trait. The opening line of the article draws you in.

It hooked me with the claim that online search for leadership and forgiveness produced little if any results. It made me stop and ask myself how often have I heard forgiveness discussed in business? Not often. It made me wonder, why not?



Forgiveness: Image is People skills logo

People Skills Chat Topic is Forgiveness: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Forgiveness: Is It Important in Business?

There are so many dimensions to this question. Here are some to get us all thinking before our people skills Twitter chat on Sunday.

  • What does it mean to forgive and what does it do for us?
  • What is the opposite of forgiveness and the impact of it?
  • It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. ~William Blake Ag/Dis Why?
  • Can you be too forgiving? Are there risks to it?
  • Forgiveness and trust: How do they relate?
  • Does forgiveness turn an enemy into a trusted friend or can you forgive but not forget?
  • Is forgiveness all or nothing or are some things unforgivable?
  • Humility and forgiveness: Are they essential to each other? Pls. explain.
  • Does forgiveness foster and feed selfish behavior in others? Pls. expl.
  • What are the business benefits of forgiveness?
  • How does forgiveness impact accountability? Y/N Pls. explain.
  • Should leaders actively develop their capacity to forgive? Why/why not?
  • What is the difference between being forgiving vs avoiding conflict?
  • In business that believes in forgiveness, should it be an individual choice or a core value all must live?
  • Forgiveness, mistakes, and learning: How do they relate?
  • How can leaders practice forgiveness at work and still focus on profit?
  • How can people skills foster forgiveness in work and life?



These are just some questions to get us thinking before we begin the people skills chat this Sunday. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join me and the people skills global chat community this Sunday March 15, 2015 on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to explore forgiveness at work and in life.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, and LinkedIn. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your individual insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer, Jandis Price and Tom Rhodes for their time and insightful contributions.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Chat on Twitter #peopleskills this Sunday March 15, 2015 10am EDT/7am PDT to explore if forgiveness at work and in life.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. March 15, 2015 10am EDT in People Skills Global Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) TOPIC: Forgiveness at Work and Life.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Giant Communication Blunder & One Very Easy Fix

You feel strongly about something. You want others to care about it. As you communicate with them, you hit a brick wall! What’s the problem? You built the wall!

Giant Communication Blunder: Image is brick wall w/ a one way sign on it.

Giant Communication Blunder. Image by Great Beyond via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Grateful for image by Great Beyond via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Ask yourself, have you slipped into stating questions instead of asking questions? When people feel strongly about something they often slip into stating a question that tells instead of asks.


Don’t you think? Wouldn’t it be better?


What answers do you expect? You are in tell and sell mode and pretending it is conversation and listening.

Instead of stating their true opinions, they either say “no”, say nothing, or walk away. You suddenly face the brick wall you built.


Can’t people disagree regardless of how you pose the question? Yes, some can. Will they want to bother? Very likely no.

Questions like “don’t you think” …

  • Treat others as subordinate
  • Suggest others’ views are not important
  • Demand agreement while pretending to be open-minded


This is a giant communication blunder. Who wants to scale a brick wall of pretense and arrogance — especially when they don’t care as much about your cause as you do.


One Easy Fix to This Giant Communication Blunder

State your opinion as opinion and ask open-ended questions to engage others. “What do you think?” vs. “Don’t you think?” Ask and listen.

Influence honors others with generous restraint and gentle honesty. It invites people to express their views and make their own decision.




What else do you think contributes to influential communication?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Potent Communication: 9 Easy People Skills Tips
Silence: When Is It Golden and When Not?

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

People Skills Impact Change: JOIN us in #Peopleskills chat

WHEN: Sunday March 8, 2015 at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills

NOTE: Daylight Savings Time starts this weekend. In North America, move clocks ahead one hour.


Background on This Chat Topic: People Skills Impact Change

Change is always a hot topic for it presents so many challenges in life. How does change impact human interactions? Can great people skills help people handle change more easily? How do people skills impact change?

For this chat, I have asked Dave Moore, creator of HPT-Transformation and people skills community moderator to join me as co-host. HPT (Human Potential Technology) is concerned with transforming the context in which one views and experiences life. HPT does not change what one knows; it transforms the way in which one knows.”


People Skills Impact Change: Image is People skills logo

People Skills Impact Change: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


How Do People Skills Impact Change?

In times of change, do people skills make a difference? As people change, do their human interactions change? We will weigh into this weighty topic in Sunday’s people skills global Twitter chat on how do people skills impact change.

Some questions that come to mind …

  • How does change affect people?
  • Is change more inspiring than stressful or more stressful than inspiring?
  • What happens when change resistors meet change lovers?
  • How can a leader inspire people to grow and change while still honoring who they are?
  • What role does humility play in change, if at all?
  • Does emotional intelligence make it easier to adapt to change? Pls. explain.
  • How do #peopleskills help navigate change?
  • How have changes in your life impacted your human interaction?
  • Is it possible to change while keeping elements of the old? Even in relationships?
  • If you could change one thing in your life or business relationships, what would it be?
  • What would you do to help someone struggling with change?



These are just some questions to get us thinking before we begin the people skills chat this Sunday. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join me, Dave Moore, and the people skills global chat community this Sunday March 8, 2015 on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to explore how do people skills impact change?


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

Thank you Dave Moore @mooreconsortium for co-hosting this change topic.

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, and LinkedIn. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your individual insights.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Chat on Twitter #peopleskills this Sunday March 8, 2015 10am EDT/7am PDT to explore how do people skills impact change?

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. March 8, 2015 10am EDT in People Skills Global Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) TOPIC: People Skills Handle Change.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Reverse Hostile Workplace: Purge Toxic Hidden Beliefs


Reverse Hostile Workplace: Image is one fish of different color from the rest & hand stopping it.

Leadership to Reverse Hostile Workplace Image by Tracy Poon via Flickr.

Image by Tracy Poon via Flickr Creative Commons License.

The LA Times recently featured how women are leaving the tech industry in droves because of male leader bias and hostile workplace. As leaders are challenged to address this, they ask: What beliefs and behaviors are behind it? In addition to the obvious signs, what creates this hostile workplace and how can leaders reverse it?


Leadership to Reverse Hostile Workplace: Beliefs & Behaviors

Unearth the strongly held beliefs that create a hostile workplace.

    Image is office cabinet - left side says "harmful" right says "irritant".

    Image by Adele Turner via Flickr Creative Commons License.

  1. “Differences are either right or wrong.”

    Differences are neither. Yet because differences can be irritating, people label them as harmful.

    In your organization, do leaders and managers label differences as harmful? Do they belief differences slow down work and reduce productivity? It’s not far from that belief to behaviors like giving plum assignments and promotions to people who are in the majority or similar to the leaders and managers. In the LA Times article, the manager claimed he had a feeling that the person he selected (a man) could work faster than the woman.



  2. “The opposite of logical is emotional.”

    Not true. The opposite of logical is illogical — errant thinking that produces false results. Yet leaders and managers who are uncomfortable with emotion label it as illogical. This belief comes out in statements like “Don’t be emotional.” They sideline or overlook those who show emotion and promote those who are like them.

    As this thinking spreads from these emotionally unintelligent leaders and managers to team members, it creates a workplace hostile to diversity. How ironic! Their focus on logic is the illogic that fosters a hostile workplace. Emotional self-awareness and emotional intelligence are key in reversing these hostile effects.


  3. “Those who are different must prove their worth.”

    This is a dangerous business belief on many levels. It shows the mistaken belief that the business is successful because of the majority — in other words the status quo. Yet businesses who thrive adapt well to change. Status quo and fear of someone different doesn’t lead businesses to huge success. The hostile workplace this errant belief creates, drives the exodus of talent that you need for success. Generational differences, gender differences, personality differences, racial differences, etc… are the rich mix of success.



These mistaken beliefs and fear of differences blind leaders to the hostile workplace they create. As long as there are no obvious signs like abusive language, racial slurs, sexual innuendo, etc…, the leaders don’t see a hostile workplace.


Reverse this blindness by looking at the beliefs not just behaviors or absence of them. To use a technical analogy from my career in information technology — garbage in, garbage out. Bad data going in creates bad results. Errant beliefs in an organization create a hostile workplace and a talent drain.


Hostile Workplace: Leadership Steps to Reverse It

  • Explore current beliefs. Don’t recycle the old ones. They may not be worth saving.
  • Unearth assumptions about people. Discuss the assumptions and replace them with enlightened truth.
  • Spot differences that irritate. Don’t sideline them or label them as harmful. Work through them remembering that irritation produces pearls!
  • Check your comfort zone. The more comfortable you as leaders and managers are in your circle, the greater the chance different team members experience a hostile workplace out there.
  • Develop your emotional intelligence. Insecurity and lack of empathy foster a hostile workplace.
  • Be aware of the culture club you’ve created. Change consultant Alli Polin advises, “Leaders, when you plan a team event for everyone, ask yourselves it appropriate for everyone? Or does it reflect a closed club (e.g. a boy’s club with drinks at a local bar). She makes a great point. When leaders approach me for team building, I always get input from the teams to help leaders avoid this culture club skew.
  • Develop diverse people and their talent. Using the majority and status quo as the standard of excellence is not excellent leadership. It is the garbage in/garbage out effect of false beliefs produce bad results.


Take a lesson from Monique Leroux, CEO of DesJardin Group in Canada who says that you must set a target for building more diversity in leadership. To have the talent at hand, you must plan and develop it.





Your View: Are companies reversing the hostile workplace? Are they more inclusive and open to diversity?

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Grateful for cabinet image by Adele Turner via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Related Posts:
3 Responses to Overcome Bias
Develop Emotional Intelligence w/ These 5 Steps

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

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