Conflict Resolution: You Can Stay Calm in Conflict.
As The People Skills Coach™, I am often asked for conflict resolution tips. Most especially — how to stay calm in the midst of verbal conflict.
Although taking a break can be very helpful, sometimes after the break the calm evaporates and the conflict remains. Then what?
There are also times at work when you can’t take a break. Customer service agents, sales account reps, team members working to solve a crisis are often under fixed time demands. How can they stay calm and work toward conflict resolution?
Image by SweetDreamzDesign via Flickr Creative Commons License.
Staying Calm for Conflict Resolution
If you find yourself getting anxious in the midst of verbal conflict, these 3 steps will help you.
- Hear the fear and need vs. the anger and biting accusation. Behind other people’s anger and accusations, there is always a fear and/or need. Let your mind focus on finding the real issue. Hear other people’s fear to get out of fight/flight mode and into conflict resolution.
When I first hear other people’s anger, I quietly ask myself …
- Where is their fear or pain? How can I resolve this?
- Is it that they’ve lost trust?
- Do they believe worse things are going to follow?
- Are they under pressure to please someone else?
Success soars when you can hear the fear and need behind people’s anger, outbursts, and accusations. You will solve the problems and defuse the emotion.
Your potential to turn obstacles into fixes will show everyone that your infinite career potential. You can care for customers. You can collaborate with colleagues. You can break logjams on difficult projects. You can lead others through difficult moments.
No matter how much you fear verbal conflict, you can develop the ability to stay calm. My skills have grown with practice, time, and commitment.
(Of course if you feel the person is going to physically attack, get out. It’s the wise thing to do. I speak in this post about non-physical conflict.)
From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™
What’s next? I invite you to connect with me on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. I am happy to answer your people skills questions for great customer service, employee engagement, teamwork and leading change!
©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email firstname.lastname@example.org for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.