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Are your customer service representatives, CSRs and technical support teams, working with customers in other countries? How strong are their intercultural people-skills? Immigrants, ex-pats, and companies doing business in other countries can be far more successful with just a little more attention to intercultural people skills (also known as soft skills). If you want a job, a sale, or a great customer service review, step outside of your own perspective and use an intercultural approach. Customers and employers make decisions from their cultural zone not yours.

Two Examples

Canada and the USA share a common language not culture.

Nick Noorani writes on the blog The Expatriate Mind Nine Soft Skills No Immigrant Should Be Without: “Skilled immigrants often focus on improving technical skills. After coming to Canada, they are shocked when they are told they have no Canadian experience.” Then he cites an example where a courier needing his signature asked him for his John Hancock — an American expression to be sure. Yet the courier was working in Canada!

CSRs outside the USA.

Many USA customer service call centers are now located outside America (some in Canada and some off-shore). How well do the CSRs in Canada and off-shore understand the regional differences across the USA? Adapting to these differences as you speak to American customers distinguishes your customer service from those that don’t adapt. Intercultural adaptation builds customer loyalty.

I have outlined these American regional differences and how to adapt in a new customer service training DVD: Customer Service USA – What They Expect Coast to Coast and Everywhere in Between.

CSRs Offshore Training DVD

You already provide phone and web technology to connect your CSRs and technical support teams with your customers. Turn that connection into a profitable loyal bond with intercultural training. For companies with USA customers, this means adapting to regional differences – North, South, East, West, and everywhere in between. In Canada there are both cultural and regional differences that global companies can learn and embrace to build Canadian customer loyalty.

For companies doing business interculturally, the key to customer loyalty is:
Learn the differences
Respect the differences
Love the differences &
Find the fit!

I welcome your comments, contributions, and feedback below. For information on purchasing the training DVD, please click on the link above.

Please visit this blog again for many other people-skills posts on customer service, teamwork, and intercultural connections.

Kudos and a heartfelt thank you to Verizon Wireless CSR Lori-El.

Best CSRs Do This! Photo by:Photophonic

Customer service rep (CSR) Lori-El worked through confusing issues on my account with an inquisitive intelligent approach while taking care (and I do mean care) of me. I would definitely rate her as one of the best call center CSRs I have had in recent times.

In the last blog post I focused on The 25 Worst Customer Service Stories to Train the Best CSRs.

Today I am very pleased to outline how the best CSRs act in delivering customer service. Please add your best actions in the comments field below.

Best CSRs Action Checklist

Verizon Wireless CSR Lori-El did this well in delivering customer service.

1. Sincere conversation not a scripted recitation.
2. Listens for the customer’s personality and demeanor and then maps actions to it.
3. Listens to every piece of information the customer offers without jumping over words.
4. Shares control of the call with the customer instead of driving it through a predetermined path.
5. Listens to the customer’s level of knowledge and speaks to that level (not above or below).
6. Thanks the customer for input during the call not just at the end.
7. Apologizes once for the length of time it is taking to resolve it and keeps moving on resolving it!
8. Asks permission to access the customer’s records and then uses the information to go the extra mile.
9. Continues to listen to related questions and answers them clearly.
10. Uses confusing moments to learn and then teach the customer instead of saying. “I don’t know.”
11. Is honest about current obstacles to resolution and then finds a work-around!
12. Sounds happy to be at work even when doing overtime or having a tough day.
13. Streamlines future contact by giving an updated phone number to call.
14. Uses positive forward focused language instead of negative phrases.
15. The conversation shows responsibility and initiative in resolving the problems. Never blames the customer.
16. Resolves the current issues and then considers the customer’s future needs and forecasts solutions. (e.g. If you switch to a Blackberry or SmartPhone you might encounter this problem and we can fix that as well.)
17. Tone of voice throughout the call is sincere, focused, and action-oriented.  Closing remark reflects that as well.

Please feel free to add your best actions to this list in the comments field below.

The 25 Worst CS Stories. Photo By:mlibrarianus

As The People-Skills Coach and a professional customer service trainer, I use both positive and negative real life stories to train Help Desk analysts, Customer Care teams, Customer Service Reps (CSRs), and Call Center agents. The positive stories define the model of great service behavior. The negative stories address the emotional intelligence team members need to deliver memorable service.

The 25 Worst Customer Service Stories

1. The foul language is clearly wrong. Will your CSRs quickly identify the other critical error in this exchange? Here’s the story: I had a problem with a new piece of electronic equipment and called for assistance. The first technician I talked with insisted that there was nothing wrong with his company’s equipment, that it must be my fault. When I explained that everything in the network had worked perfectly until I powered the new item up, he laughed at me. When I asked to talk to his supervisor, he responded with the infamous two letter expletive and hung up. I called back and spoke with a different tech who was able to resolve the problem in a matter of minutes and who then asked his supervisor to join us on the line. When I told the supervisor of my earlier experience, she asked me to give her one day so she could resolve the problem. She called back in less than fifteen minutes to tell me that she and the call center manager had reviewed the tape of the call, fired the original technician, and promoted the second one to a customer service training position. It went from being the worst customer service experience ever to one of the best in less than half an hour.
   –Submitted by: Ron B.
   
   
2. The story: I was trying to get some information from the local cable company, Comcast, about my bill. I couldn’t understand the different groupings of channels which had no explanation just names like Extended Package. She couldn’t explain it and kept getting the same channels in different groupings. I said, very politely, “I don’t understand your explanation, is there someone else who can explain it to me so I will understand it.” She replied: “You’re stupid.” Then she hung up.
   –Submitted by: Elaine B.
   
   
3. “You’re not following our process.” Sadly, this was said to a customer by one of my own CSRs.  This was a wake-up call for sure.
   –Submitted by: Drew J.
   
   
4. “I’m sorry, but that’s our Policy and I’m not connecting you with my supervisor.”
   This reply is anathema to the reason for customer service — to serve the customer (the person with the $$$ they want).  I could care less about their policies.  My policy is that I don’t do business with companies that don’t treat me with respect and give me value for my money.  If something doesn’t work, then just fix it.  If you don’t know – then say “I don’t know, but let me find out for you.”  Companies are run by humans and humans make mistakes.  I don’t judge them badly because they make a mistake.  It’s how they resolve the mistake that matters.
   –Submitted by: David G.
   
   
5. Can you believe this interaction? Here’s the story: In our large grocery store, I asked about the cinnamon buns that were in the sample dome. The employee I asked said that they were very fattening and I could do with losing some weight!
   –Submitted by: Andrew F.
   
   
6. I explained to a DELL rep that I had 12 new laptops that would not power on no matter what I did.  His answer to me was “What do you want me to do about it?”  I said excuse me?  He clarified by saying “if they don’t power on I can’t trouble shoot them and if they aren’t powering on it has to be something you did to them that made them not work.” I still have nightmares.
   –Submitted by: Liz M.
   
   
7. “You will have to go online to and fix this.” I replied “Seriously? I am talking to customer service – a real live human being and you can’t do a thing for me? “Yes ma’am, you need to go online to do this.”  So I asked her, “What, exactly, do you do?”  Silence.
   –Submitted by: Shelly S.
   
   
8. It’s not our fault that you have this problem – it’s yours.” (Big Insurance Company in the UK)
   –Submitted by: Ian T.
   
   
9. I’m still fuming from my experience with Travelocity/ABC Airline this morning. Woke up sick as a dog, needing to catch a flight at 7:00. I’ve probably booked one hundred flights with Travelocity and I have always paid the $20.00 insurance if changes ever come up, including unexpected illness. I have never actually used this insurance but was happy to have it until I was told from ABC Airline: “I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do for you.”  And, then again from Travelocity, “I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do for you.” Lesson learned. Don’t buy Travelocity’s insurance. Or, better yet, avoid Travelocity.
   –Submitted by: Anonymous
   
   
10. Is this stupidity or lack of caring? The story: A pharmacy CSR refused to authorize one of my meds. When I told her I had been waiting 2 weeks and explained the effects of not having them,  she said ”maybe you should see a doctor about these new symptoms.”
    –Submitted by: Denise C.
    
    
11. Are your CSRs so busy following scripts that they don’t listen? Here’s the story:  My father passed away.  I called a credit card company to cancel his account.  I said, “My name is Debra. My father Pat passed away and I am the Executor of the Estate. I am calling to cancel his account.”
    The CSR replied, “Well, I need to talk to Pat.” I said, “Listen very carefully. He’s DEAD – now if you want to talk to him, you’ll have to figure out how to. GIVE ME YOUR SUPERVISOR!”   The Supervisor got on the phone and I said, “Do you have a connection with God?”  She cracked up laughing – she had heard about the conversation.
    – Submitted by: Deborah B.
    
    
12. I called HP customer service about a new HP printer that wouldn’t interface with my Mac (even though the company swore it would easily work).  After hours of being on hold and being told that I had obviously done something wrong or just couldn’t understand, the rep told me “Yeah, really not my problem, lady.” So I went to Apple. They figured out the problem – and were nice.
    –Submitted by: Julie G.
    
    
13. My favorite bad customer service response was “it is working as designed” after the support agent was able to duplicate (and agree with) an obvious bug/error in a popular word processing program.
    –Submitted by: Tom M.
    
    
14. “You should buy one of those bust reducing bras from Marks & Spencers.” This was in a clothing store said by one of the stick thin pre-pubescent staff.  This is customer service? I don’t think so!
    –Submitted by: Emma C.
    
    
15. Is this the new version of customer self-service ? The story: I was checking out at WalMart, with my elderly Mom and small kids in tow.  A pair of $8 shoes I was buying rang up for $10. I questioned the clerk on the price at which time she said “No they rang up for $10. “You can go back there and check it yourself”. I wasn’t about to do that, so I just settled up for the $10. grrrr.  Got home and pulled the shoes out of the box and guess what. The actual price tag on the shoes said $8! Next day I went back to customer service and happened to be waited on by the same clerk at which time she said, ”That wasn’t my fault; it was the cash register. I can’t help you”.  I had to find the store manager to get the issue resolved.  He not only gave me all my money back, but he let me keep the shoes.
    –Submitted by: Amanda K.
    
    
16. I had spent well over 3 hours on the phone with customer service/tech. support, having been repeatedly put on hold, transferred, and disconnected. I called back after yet another disconnection after being on hold for several minutes. The person who answered started to go into their script, asking me for irrelevant information. I told the person that I just needed to be connected to XYZ because I had been disconnected after being on the phone with them for over three hours. The CSR went to a very long speech about how he’d be happy to transfer me. I didn’t need a speech. I just needed him to transfer me. I told him this. He repeated the speech. His scripted, inhuman “courteousness” just made me angry and hate the company.
    –Submitted by: Joe S.
    
    
17. Have your CSRs ever said this? “There is nothing I can do for you.”  I asked for a supervisor they told me that the supervisor will tell me the same thing!
    –Submitted by: Sahar A.
    
    
18. This one is beyond belief — yet true. Here’s the story: I was hosting a party for 150 people and needed catering prices 7 weeks prior to party to review bids, select caterer, or determine another venue. I had a drop-dead due date and explained that.  When I contacted the caterer for prices because they hadn’t contacted me by the morning of the due date, my main contact was on vacation and left no information. I was fuming. Obviously, they did not get my business.  When I finally reached the caterer to determine how they could have made such an error, he said “I decided you didn’t need it by your due date.” I was appalled.  How could they decide my due date? I did contact the management office and heads did roll. This was not lost business from this one event, but there were 5 hosts involved (their friends) and word of mouth travels fast.  While management appreciated my comments, they were foolish in not throwing me some type of bone to offset the situation. In a world where it’s tough to get business, this is not acceptable.
    –Submitted by: Lisa R.
    
    
19. “ya wesd rufj dimn uklod doodop” In other words, the worst customer service ever was delivered by someone who spoke no comprehensible English. I’ve heard it hundreds of times to lesser degrees, but in one case it was entirely incomprehensible. When will these companies learn that customer service agents need to actually be comprehensible in the language they are supposedly supporting?
    –Submitted by: John B.
    
    
20. How would your CSRs reply to this request? Here’s the story: I lost my cable service for 3 days. Apparently, it was a system wide failure and thousands of customers were affected. During the course of my conversation, I said something like “Please just credit me for 3 days worth of service.” The rep said, “We can’t do that. Do you know how much it would cost us if we credited everyone for the past three days?”
    –Submitted by: Phil F.
    
    
21. “I am sorry but that’s our policy”. Even if the CSR says it politely, this is a statement that can tick anybody off. Such a statement exudes rigidity and inflexibility, which is the last thing a customer wants to hear when he/she calls customer service with a genuine problem.  This statement, if used too many times by a customer service agent during a call would generally lead to an escalation or loss of a customer, which indicates the poor performance of the agent.
    –Submitted by: Om D.
    
    
22. Have you taught your CSRs the difference between professional and personal behavior? Here’s the story: I was speaking with a customer service representative about a problem I was having.  I said, “I know it’s not your fault.” She said, “That’s right.  It’s not my fault.” She is the representative of a company. She should accept responsibility even if it’s not her personal fault!
    –Submitted by: Randi B.
    
    
23. Here’s one of the recent nightmares I lived through. There was a charge on my Citibank Mastercard from a vendor who renewed my $400 membership without asking me.  I spoke with the vendor and he agreed to send a credit into the credit card company for the charge.  Since the credit card bill was due in 15 days, I called the credit card company to ensure that I wouldn’t have to pay $400 up front only to have it credited back later.  The CSR who answered the phone went into his long drawn out scripted answer. I asked to speak with a supervisor and after waiting on hold, the supervisor started another scripted answer.  I said “I am a busy person and I just need a simple direct answer.” He replied: “I am sorry you called when you were busy.  We are open 24 hours a day.” I stopped using that card.  I will not give my money to a company whose representatives communicate sarcastically and blame me for their slow scripted service.
    –Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach
    
    
24. I had a credit card and somehow after a year the bank changed my zip code and I didn’t get the bill. When they called I explained I never got a bill.  After we found the issue I asked for a refund of the late fee. Though I got it eventually I was initially told,  “You are responsible for your bill, we only send the statement as a convenience to you.”
    –Submitted by: Shawn D.
    
    
25. What would your CSRs say if they had difficulty communicating with a customer? Would they sound like this CSR who acted as if she was the sergeant in charge.  Here’s the story: A CSR at a big box cable company in the Midwest said to me:  “You’re not listening to me. “
    –Submitted by: Linda L.
    
    

The key training topics from this list include emotional intelligence, customer care outlook, listening skills, the perilous effects of procedur-itis, ownership, and clear communication.

I am ready to inspire and train any and all of your employees who work with internal or external customers — your business’ most valuable resource! Just give me a call and we will discuss the training to deliver memorable customer service for the greatest return on your investment.

Please feel free to leave your comments or customer service stories and insights in the field below. If customer service is your passion, take a look at a related post on this blog “Ace Your Next Customer Service Moment.”

Thanks for stopping by and RSS this blog for the latest people-skills posts,
Kate Nasser

Team success in a diverse workplace requires more than a common goal. Each team member must be willing to flex their style and adapt to others.  Once again people-skills, also known as soft skills, impact the tangible results in business.  In this case, the people-skill needed for team success is an individual willingness as well as the skill to embrace others’ styles and blend yours for the team’s success.

The underlying support for this is a basic respect for differences. Here’s a short inspirational video to help your teams:

1. Respect the differences
2. Learn to love the differences
3. Find the fit

Here is a summary of Kate Nasser’s Twitter stream from last week filled with people-skills  (aka soft skills) tweets and inspirational thoughts.  Share your favorites with your team, your leadership, and your social network.

• Teaching intercultural people-skills may be key to becoming a global city or company! http://bit.ly/9NFl8w #
• IT Architects – You need top-notch soft skills (people-skills) to reach goals Source:Gartner Group http://bit.ly/9GBIhf #CIO #
• Career technical education even in small PA town to focus more on people-skills — to be more job competitive. http://bit.ly/aOo7Bk #
• Nothing is secure but life, transition, the energizing spirit.~ Ralph Waldo Emerson #change #
• #FollowFriday CustomerService – @ericjacques @brandon_caudle @parature @compcomm @servicesphere @royatkinson @katenasser
• #FollowFriday #GENY @modite @katenasser
• Jazz up your brand w/new color schemes! @DesignerWife RT @nicholaspatten: 12 Creative Color Schemes. http://bit.ly/aMgLXM #entrepreneur #
• I am thinking of buying a SONY Vaio FW520 laptop. Anyone out here have one? R U happy w/it? #
• TY! @americandream09 WOMEN OF INFLUENCE @MelissaMcCreery @anneebeling @CoachingGuru @LorenaHeletea @KateNasser STANDOUT TWOTTER SUPERSTARS! #
• RT @americandream09 We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. – Aristotle #
• Feed your development with fun self-learning this weekend! Then start Monday renewed. #
• RT @HeshieSegal Scatter the seeds of your strengths so that others might use them to grow. << This is “activational”. Thx! #
• RT@dennycoates “Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” – Judy Garland #inspiration #
• RT @U2FREE My #objective is not to #amuse or #abuse.It is to get #U to #think! #
• RT @brandonrofl Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind – Shakespeare #quote #
• The PPL-Skills Coach: “What is the worst thing a customer service rep. ever said to you?” Reply/RT! #
• The PPL-Skills Coach: “What is the worst thing a customer service rep. ever said to you?” @mrdatahs @jkwgrowth @pavroberts #
• RT – Let’s start learning! @coachlaura Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves. Carl Jung #
• TY @royatkinson Individualized serv > uniformity “Listening Up: Lowest Cost Step to Customers’ Dollars” by @KateNasser http://bit.ly/9AHajL #
• RT @GuyKawasaki Is the customer always right? Maybe not in Paris http://om.ly/fAKb # customerservice #
• IT Supervisory Specialist Job at FBI – deadline Feb. 12 – Pay $123K-$155K http://bit.ly/b4P4Z7 #IT #Jobs #
• Intuition is experience reapplied with courage in order to facilitate the future. ~Kate Nasser #BeOriginal #
• Desire drives thoughts & thoughts guide your actions. Focus on your dreams not your fears. ~Kate Nasser #BeOriginal #
• Which are the fundamental skills for success (technical or soft skills)? http://bit.ly/dCmTc9 #
• Perspectives on Improving IT Customer Service in Schools http://bit.ly/dfS7nx @mrdatahs #
• The PPL-Skills Coach: Learning to Get Along – The Power of Personality Type http://bit.ly/cdEpYW #
• Quicker Way to Learn & Use Personality Type Info for Success at Work http://bit.ly/bNKkrS #
• Are You Set to Choose a Team for Software Development? What to consider – http://bit.ly/9aTeX6 (BusinessWeek) #
• RT TY! @LeadershipNow RT @KateNasser: Quicker Way to Learn & Use Personality 4 Type Work Success http://bit.ly/bNKkrS “Love the differences #
• Clients for Life – Tangible Steps to Creating Them http://bit.ly/aMJdy2 # CustomerService #
• The PPL-Skills Coach: Read this post for latest stats on job hunting and advice for your career spot – http://bit.ly/9a4XsJ #
• Annapolis, MD high school students to learn communication skills – workplace ready! http://bit.ly/9Qrbac #teamwork #customerservice #
• Improve Your People-Skills the Low Cost Way – Volunteer. http://bit.ly/a334iw #peopleskills soft skills #
• Leaders: Undercover Boss Shows Power of PeopleSkills and Improves Morale – http://bit.ly/biyiT4 SoftSkills #PeopleSkills #
• Watson Wyatt’s 2010 Communication ROI Study shows *communication improves employee results. http://bit.ly/9Mtw3s peopleskills #softskill #
• RT TY @jakrause RT @SageInsight @KateNasser Watson Wyatt’s 2010 Comm ROI Study shows communication improvs emp results http://bit.ly/9Mtw3s #
• The People-Skills Coach: Top Ten Skills to Work in the Publishing Industry http://bit.ly/d9eE77 #
• True customer service includes a cultural focus – even on your website: http://bit.ly/9WhJu6 #
• RT @ShowerThinker All glory comes from daring to begin. ~ William Shakespeare 2/11/10 #
• RT @ClaudiaMcNeely Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~ Dalai Lama #
• The People-Skills Coach: 6 Traits to Admire & Acquire http://bit.ly/9AWeXs #
• Network Administrators – Improve Your Influencing & Soft Skills for Job Security in Cloud Computing http://bit.ly/cT3bxJ #IT #CIO #
• You need Customer Service and relationship skills even for back office jobs like Payroll Mgmt. (growth area) http://bit.ly/bFHIGj #
• RT TRUE! @americandream09 “Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.” ~Victor Kiam #
• RT @_StaceyChapman Living a full life includes serving and giving to others. |teamwork and customer service! #
• #FollowFriday @eleesha “For all that I cannot have right now, Let me be willing to just go out there and create it.” ~Eleesha |Initiative #
• #FollowFriday @eleesha “For all that I cannot have right now, Let me be willing to just go out there and create it.” ~Eleesha |Initiative #
• RT TY @Earl52 @EllKell RT @KateNasser: You need Customer Service and relationship skills even 4 back office jobs http://bit.ly/bFHIGj #
• RT TY #FollowFriday @gabelk RT @KateNasser: Leaders: Undercover Boss Shows Power of PeopleSkills and Improves Morale – http://bit.ly/biyiT4 #
• TY @JKWinnovation #BeOriginal @KateNasser: Intuition is experience reapplied with courage in order to facilitate the future. ~Kate Nasser #
• RT True! @WillBarth When someone does something well, applaud!You will make two people happy. – Samuel Goldwyn |Teamwork & Leadership #
• Intercultural Business Communication – Interesting facts and a call to action http://bit.ly/blAUJT #

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Listening Low Cost Image By:Frederic Poirot

Listening up to the level of your customers’ expectations brings in your customers’ dollars.

1. Listen to your customers.
2. Provide action quickly.
3. Save their day to build customer loyalty.
4. Continuously train your staff to improve these customer focused skills.

Then why do companies put primary focus on uniformity of customer service that breeds non-listening and often unmemorable service? Almost every call center sounds the same, has the same scripted non-caring service, and does not build the customers’ desires to spend dollars.

The lowest cost step to customers’ dollars is to listen up to the level of their expectations and deliver unique and memorable service!

What fears are stopping most leaders from acting on this customer-focused common sense?

1. Empowerment and creativity as a culture is dangerous. Actually, empowering innovation and creativity throughout the business is critical in this decade.  Customers do not seek uniformity in service.  They want service that matches their individual needs.  GEN Y has grown up with personalized everything. They will not be loyal to cookie cutter call centers, service, or products.
   
2. We cannot measure non-standard interactions and if we can’t measure it we will fail. Metrics do not create success or breed failure.  Metrics measure success that you first create and there are many ways to measure it.  What you should fear is believing that measurement is a key business driver.
3. If we train our people on great listening and creative problem solving, they will leave and work someplace else. Quite the opposite. Study after study shows that employees love working in customer focused organizations that excite their minds, improve their skills, and value their unique talents.
4. It will cost too much. It works for high end services and products but nowhere else. I have one word to answer that — Zappos.
5. We will lose our shirts without standardized approaches to customer service.  Hardly. Listening and communication will actually “save your shirt” and protect you from losing customers. Billions of dollars are lost every year when customers’ leave your business because of how they were treated impersonally. A customer care culture in your company empowers every team member to seize customer loyalty through unique and personalized service.

If you are still unconvinced, keep a journal for one week of all the interactions you have with companies when you are the customer. Which ones are memorable? Why? Which would you give your dollars to, go back to and also recommend to other businesses?

Then get busy creating that culture in the business, department, or team you are leading. “A penny for your thoughts” is a phrase that can remind all your team members to listen to the customers and then deliver memorable service.

I am ready to train your teams to listen up to the level of customer expectations and take the lowest cost step to bringing in their dollars!
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach

Your Professional Soft Skills Resolution 2010

Professional Soft Skills Resolution

Here’s a resolution that one leader made:

“I resolve to improve how I communicate with my teams, customers, and colleagues.”

Speak positively not negatively and forward not back.

Almost every negative statement you make can be reworded to say positively what needs to change rather than just what is wrong. Monitor your statements for one day. You will be amazed at how often you state what is wrong rather than how to make it better. This change in your communication actually breeds better morale, rapport, and results!

Identify your natural listening style and adapt to your team members.

Every soft skills blog reinforces the value of active listening. Yet to be a great listener, silence is not the automatic winner. It is a myth that silence is what everyone wants. Learn to spot asynchronous and synchronous listening needs and listen with that style. The WOW of rapport occurs with this step.

Speak with and require all to speak with respect for diversity.

Learn what your social style is (Amiable, Analytic, Expressive, or Driver) and have each team member learn theirs. If you want major ROI on your soft skills resolution this one step of communicating with respect for differences is the magic bullet.

Increase and improve your face-to-face contact.

Yes we are technologically connected with email. Yet if you look across the generations, face-to-face contact does bring better understanding among and about people. Technology can help you with this as well — SKYPE and VideoConferencing to name only two. A recent study showed that among distanced teams, videoconferencing produced better teamwork and work results over teleconferenced meetings. Even if your team is primarily comprised of GEN Y, you can help them to learn better face-to-face skills with this commitment in your resolution.

What is your professional soft skills resolution and how will you keep it?

Would love to read yours in the comments section below.

In her workshops and training, Kate Nasser develops your professional soft skills to improve your connections with diverse people. In her new training DVD “Customer Service USA – What They Expect From Coast to Coast and Everywhere In Between” Kate illustrates the soft skills you need to meet diverse customers’ needs. Email her for info on this new training DVD.

A recent post at http://resumebear.com emphasizes once again that people-skills (also known as soft skills) top employers’ lists of desired qualities. [http://resumebear.com/blog/index.php/2009/12/06/five-character-qualities/]

People-skills or soft skills also top the list of top skills that employers want and new graduates (GEN Y) lack. [http://www.resumebear.com/blog/index.php/2009/05/21/top-skills-employers-want-and-new-graduates-lack/]

As a 20 year veteran entrepreneur, I can also attest that outstanding people-skills or soft skills top the list for business success.  So whether you are a new graduate (GEN Y) or among the many people changing careers or industries, improving your people-skills (soft skills) is a winning step. What skills specifically? Verbal and written communication, listening, and teamwork.

I will be posting a series of content rich articles with tangible soft skills improvement steps.

In this post, 3 solid steps that improve communication with customers, teammates, suppliers, and definitely with leaders.

Soft Skills Tip #1

Speak current and future not past. Our communication is often riddled with references to the past.  Don’t believe me? Spend five to ten minutes being aware of what you say.  You will be very surprised at how often you reference the past.

Now rethink what you truly want to say and reword it to be focused on the present or future.  Focusing on the present and future minimizes the risk of digging up old problems between people, gets you active on solutions, and increases your value to employers and customers. It changes your image, your relationships, and your career/business success.  Simply put: In business, don’t take people back to the past.

True story to illustrate: I found a blog article on soft skills and posted it on Twitter.  I liked the main points the author made.  One of my Twitter followers read it and thought the author’s writing skills were poor.  She sent me the following message.  “Did you read it before you posted it?”  Her focus on the past made this a very poor communication. It can cause problems in interpersonal relationships.  After I wrote back to her, she made it clear that her main point was “I don’t like the author’s writing style”.  Her original message communicated something else.

Soft Skills Tip #2

Speak honestly and positively. Honesty is important in business.  How you deliver the honesty determines how the listener will hear and react to your message. Even during conflict, you can speak with positive tones to speed the healing after the conflict.
Simple Rules: State facts as facts and opinion as opinion. State what needs to change and what is currently good.

Soft Skills Tip #3

Skip the sarcasm. Sarcasm can often be misunderstood. It is more a form of anger than a form of humor. Keep it for moments with a close friend who loves your sarcasm or leave it to the stand-up comedians and bloggers whose brand is sarcasm. Customers, teammates, leaders and even suppliers respond much better to positive action oriented messages.

I hope you will share these tips with others. I ask only that you credit this site http://katenasser.com.

Check back frequently for more soft skills tips that strengthen your career and your business success. I welcome your tips, comments, and questions below.
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach

A recent one-on-one networking breakfast underscored for me once again the critical importance of soft skills (also known as people-skills) in networking and actually in every aspect of business.  It also showed me that despite many available online soft skills networking tips like the following links:

- 10 Networking Tips http://businessknowhow.com/tips/networking.htm
- Sharpen Your Soft Skills http://tnj.com/business-news/sharpen-your-%E2%80%98soft-skills%E2%80%99-for-career-success
- Soft Skills the Competitive Edge http://dol.gov/odep/pubs/fact/softskills.htm

there are still 3 critical soft-skills steps that people often overlook.

Networking Soft Skills By: Jaimelondonboy

The Story, The Surprise, and 3 Critical Soft Skills Tips

I had heard a consultant speak at a local meeting and was impressed with his content.  He does business innovation consulting and provided excellent examples that clarified his points very well.  I spoke with him briefly after the talk, we exchanged cards, mentioned networking in the future, and I went on my way.

When his office contacted me to set up face-to-face networking, I accepted.  The goal was “to exchange innovative ideas on business and see how we could help each other if at all”.  It sounded interesting and normal to me.  My expectations were set for at least a cordial information exchange and possibly some remarkable moments of creativity based on our different yet equally valuable skills.

What I experienced instead was domineering person who came with an agenda of getting leads from me to achieve more sales.  As I tried to focus on information exchange he suggested more than once that I was not action-oriented and was thinking negatively.  He told me that I undervalued my client list from which we could make money together.  He was doing everything to achieve his sales goal and was failing with every word that came out of his mouth.  As his drive to increase sales drove him to deliver more of these subtle insults, my attitude changed.

Interestingly enough, he was able to pick up on my attitude shift.  As we ended the meeting, he tried to remedy the situation by saying that sometimes he gets too pushy.  I was ready to move on with my day when he surprised me with the following remark as we left the restaurant:  “Sometimes I forget that I  must build a woman’s excitement. We men, we just like to drop our pants and have sex. You women need a lot of foreplay!”

The Surprise

As he tried to fix his poor people-skills, he made things worse. Moreover, his attempt highlighted an unprofessional sexism that I have not encountered since the 1980’s.

The Surprise of Soft Skills.

He knew that I was The People-Skills Coach and yet never thought he would have to invest some time before I would connect him with my customers?  The referrals I make reflect on me and my brand.   My customers would expect me to connect them with other professionals who know how to build valuable relationships through:

• Listening
• Asking pertinent questions
• Interacting by adapting to their personality type, culture, and pace
• Delivering services, products, or advice with care and consideration for their business needs and success

His style is non-listening, brash, bold, controversial, pushy and comes across to me and possibly to others as desperate for a sale. Now there is nothing inherently wrong with going for a sale or with companies entering into a joint venture to deliver services to the same customers. Yet this consultant skipped one important step — building a relationship.  This was not a big networking event where you circulate to connect with many people and then follow-up later.  This was the follow-up later where you invest some face time (building the relationship) to give and receive value.

Investing a bit of time to learn about others does not mean that you aren’t action oriented. They are not mutually exclusive.  As Monica Diaz wrote in The Biggest Challenge (http://OtherEsteem.org/blog/), ”Openly recognize effort in others. See the path they are on, not only the results they are reaping.”  Thanks Monica, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

So Monica’s advice is on my list of 3 critical soft skills tips for networking success:

1. Recognize the other person’s path; not just the results you or they want. Otherwise you may come across as selfish, insensitive, and greedy.  Do not label differences as negative or non-valuable.
2. Learn your personality type, how to spot others’ types, and adapt to others. This does not mean being a fake. You can be authentic and show who you are and also adapt to others. This is the ONE thing that has given me tremendous success in business and in life. I am writing a book on this so stay tuned for easy to follow steps on adapting to other people while still being authentic.
3. When setting up a one-on-one networking meeting, clearly state what you want out of the networking meeting. Many online tips tell you to know your goal in  networking. Yet a goal is not always the same as an exit outcome. What do you hope to have at the end of the meeting? In this story, if the consultant  had clearly stated that he was looking for sales leads I would have connected him with a couple of organizations that hold events specifically for that purpose instead of having a breakfast meeting with me. He has a better chance of getting what he wants with people who want the same thing.

So what would you do in a situation where you said the wrong thing or acted inappropriately? A simple direct apology showing ownership of your faux pas and regret for the impact it had on someone else is a solid start toward repairing the damage. For long term success with networking, sharpen your people-skills to be prepared for the diverse people you will meet. More people than ever are networking both online and face-to-face. It both challenges your current soft skills and gives you the chance to make them stronger.

To sharpen your people-skills, ask yourself what are your pet peeves about networking? What don’t you like and what would you prefer people do when networking with you? Ask your friends, colleagues, and family what they prefer. Share your people-skills networking tips with the networking universe in the comments section below. I certainly value your insights and I know that other networkers will value your questions and experiences as well.

If you are in career transition, see my 2 minute motivator “Transitions the Easier Way” (link at top of this page).  It’s a fun upbeat video that you can watch free as many times as you like.

Thank you for visiting my blog and come back soon.

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach