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Soft Skills

Teamwork: Warning Signs of a Clique

Posted on Aug 31st, 2010

Teamwork brings to mind images of people interacting to achieve some goal.  Generally they develop a closeness, a tight bond, if for only a brief period as they exchange ideas, use their collective experience, and take action.  If the team is to stay together as a unit, the tight bond grows tighter. Sounds good right? Yet today’s fast changing business landscape needs agile teams that embrace diversity.

The key question is when does that tight bond become a clique that shuts out new team members, new ideas, and change?  Leaders, do you know the warning signs?

Clique or Tight Teamwork Bond? Image:TimAbbott

If you want to prevent a clique growing in the shadows of your organization, look for the following signs of team health and the potential for a clique and its destructive limiting force.

  1. Do team members openly disagree to reach the common goal? This is a healthy sign of a team whose bond can withstand pressure without cracking. Or do you sense that team members are pressured to conform to be accepted? 
  2. Does the team avidly and positively welcome new team members when they first arrive?  If yes, what do they say and do with the new team members? Healthy signs: “Jump in, ask questions, contribute your strengths, we like diversity …”.
  3. Does the team reach out to all (especially new team members) for lunches, breaks, etc…  The action to include is a healthy sign of a tight bond that can stretch without breaking.
  4. Do the team members take steps to get the new team members up to speed quickly to make every teamwork moment the most it can be? Or do they expect new team members to prove themselves. If you witness the latter, it is a sign of team ill-health.

Leaders, what do you do to promote team health and prevent cliques? What steps have you taken to build agile teams that accept diversity?
Would love to hear your insights and questions below!

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, consults to leaders, teams, and organizations for the healthiest teamwork and agile teams that embrace diversity to meet the quickly changing business landscape. Her workshops, blog articles, and DVDs make a unique contribution to teamwork, customer service, and leadership success.


Customer Service: The Folly of Being Defensive in Business

Posted on Aug 30th, 2010

National Customer Service Week starts Oct. 4th, 2010. It is a time to celebrate customers, customer service, customer service agents, technical support reps, and to highlight key behaviors for truly memorable customer service.

I will write many posts for the next five weeks in anticipation of National Customer Service Week and today’s topic is — “The Folly of Being Defensive” when customers criticize your service.

Picture It! A customer tells you that your team didn’t get back in touch with them, has been unresponsive, missed a deadline, gave them an incorrect answer, was rude and non-empathetic, or a host of other negative information.


What Some Teams Hear. You are no good. They then explain to the customer why the customer service was bad in an attempt to recover their image. Being defensive like this is pure folly. Why? It has the exact opposite effect.



What the Customer is Really Saying. Help me and rebuild my trust. The truly memorable response includes empathy for the inconvenience, attention to fixing it now, and in some cases, compensation for the inconvenience and trouble. Once you have solved the issue in question, you might provide information on how this error will be prevented in the future if it was a serious error.



The folly of being defensive in business is that it reduces trust, makes working with you difficult rather than easy, and demeans your professional image. Avoid this defensive dribble.

You will regain customer’s trust when you take ownership of your mistakes, offer a sincere apology for the trouble, and fix the errors. It sends out a cheer of integrity, caring, and professional competence. It is worth celebrating. It is truly memorable. It will echo for quite some time. It delivers progress to your business and sets you apart from the average.

What else makes for truly memorable customer service? What do you expect as a customer?



——-
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, is widely known for transforming customer service from average to truly memorable. Her workshops, webinars, and DVDs distinguish from others in their ability to activate behavior changes in your global customer service teams. Preview Kate Nasser’s new training DVD on regional customer differences in America http://katenasser.com/training-dvds.

Two Magical Words for Best 21st Century People-Skills

Posted on Aug 25th, 2010

Two recent experiences gave me insight to update this post (original was June 2010) to include even more value of the two magical words. Enjoy this post and the updates shown below in green.
As you read the title of this post, two magical words for the best people-skills (also known as soft skills or interpersonal skills), you might immediately think of please and thank you.  While these classics are still very valuable people-skills words, they are superseded by two words that are magical even when you just think them.

Could the two words be:

Trust & respect? Admittedly crucial yet just thinking them doesn’t necessarily produce great interactions.

Intuition & connection? Some people have little intuition yet they learn great people-skills.

What are the two magical words for the best 21st century people-skills?

Magical Words for Best People-Skills Source:Istock.com






“What If”










What if … helps you consider other people’s views.
What if … bonds with diverse customers.
What if … delivers unique customer care.
What if … engages and empowers employees.
What if … builds bonds on teams.
What if … leads people out of the fear of the unknown.
What if … frees you of the limits of your own perspective.
What if … encourages people to think outside-the-box.
What if … allows a fresh start after poor performance.
What if … opens people’s minds to constructive criticism.

What else does this magical two word phrase do? Or do you have another favorite two word phrase for the best 21st century people-skills?

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, brings her insights to your organization in workshops, webinars, and dvds on profitable people-skills for teamwork and customer care. See her in action Kate Nasser video footage.

Leadership Explosion – Tough Teamwork People Skills Moment

Posted on Aug 22nd, 2010

There’s an old expression that I recently heard again, “Don’t walk into the middle of a firing squad.”

Leader Explosion & Tough Teamwork People Skills Moment Image:Nathan & Jenny

Have you ever been in a room with other team members when the leader explodes with disapproval at some of them but not you?  What was your reaction?  How did you feel?  Did you say anything?  Did your decision affect your subsequent teamwork?

Would you say anything if you agreed with the substance of the leader’s comments?  Would you if you disagreed with the substance of the leader’s comments?  A leadership explosion and your reaction can present a tough teamwork and people skills (soft skills) moment.

As I thought about this, I remembered a time in graduate school when something like this happened.  The professor was a gruff old curmudgeon.  Perhaps he believed that being rough produced better learning.  I didn’t agree yet his gruff manner didn’t bother me.  He was fair in grading, clear when he taught, and didn’t play favorites or games behind your back. I wouldn’t want him over for a fun party yet I could deal with his teaching a couple of courses.

For one assignment he had us in separate teams of 4, each developing a project for presentation to the whole class. It was presentation night. The first team up was totally unprepared and did a miserable job. It truly seemed they had put very little effort into it and we learned very little. The professor lit into them for their poor job. They looked stunned. Silence. Then Pat, a student in the audience, started to make tangible suggestions on how the presentation could improve. Billy, one of the students on the presentation team, tore Pat apart verbally. Later without the professor present, Billy made verbal threats that he would get even with Pat’s team during their presentation.

Do you think Pat made the right decision to speak or did Pat walk into the middle of a firing squad? Would you speak at all and if so what would you say? Would you be concerned about repercussions from the leader or the team members?

It would be ideal if the professor had used less emotion to reduce the team’s emotional reaction. Yet in business there are times when the leadership explodes in frustration over poor performance, missed opportunities, and resistance to change. At the same time it is very difficult for some people to think clearly and logically when they feel under attack. Pat was not attacking Billy. The tone was positive and forward focused. Yet Billy couldn’t see that in the heat of emotion. It is quite possible that he was dumping the anger he felt toward the professor onto Pat. So what would you do?

Some possible approaches:

  1. Wait for the leader or those under attack to say something so you can read their emotional states before responding.
  2. Ask those under attack if they are ready for suggestions on how to make it better and offer to jump in and help.
  3. Ask the leader if you might lend perspective on how to make things better or for a short break so that all can gather their thoughts.

Do any of these make sense to you? What are the pros/cons? Perhaps some other approach?

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, works on tough teamwork, people skills (soft skills), and issues of interpersonal dynamics in corporations and government agencies. See http://katenasser.com for workshop information.

Customer Service in Times of Change – Insights.

Posted on Aug 21st, 2010

In my previous post I chronicled a recent service experience with a promoter of National Customer Service Week to highlight a common problem of mistaken empowerment with disastrous business results. I recount the same story here, now with a focus on the challenges that customer service and technical support teams face in times of great change.  Here is what happened and customer service insights on change, change resistance, and rebuilding trust.



The Service Experience

A company actively involved in promoting National Customer Service Week approached me to be an advertising sponsor.  This was the first year they decided to sell advertising sponsorships. They sent information explaining levels of sponsorship, cost, and what each level of sponsorship gave me.  Initial discussions went well. We agreed on the size of the online logo ad pretty easily.  He asked me to send a short paragraph about myself for their first email bulletin. After receiving my text, he replied that the paragraph looked great and they would run it as is. The service experience was easy and well paced.

Things suddenly changed when he sent a proof of the bulletin. I was shocked to see they used only one line from my write-up. To make matters worse, they changed my verbiage into bland, boring words.  His question to me was “WOW, doesn’t it look great?” No it didn’t. I called him and asked what happened? He said, “Don’t worry we want you to be happy. I’ll get back to you.” Before he hung up, I said if we are limited on the number of words, I will be happy to rewrite it. However, the words must reflect my brand.

He emailed me a new version that was slightly longer. Sadly, the words were modified again. To me this was strange behavior and a blatant downward shift in service. It was after hours so I waited until the morning to call him. I left this voice message. “Since I don’t understand what is going on, can’t get any answers, and have no trust that the remaining advertising activities will be handled appropriately, I am going to pass on the opportunity to be a Gold Sponsor.  I wish you continued success.”

Nimble teams win business. Image:GlobalBusinessPosters

He sent me an email saying the source of yesterday’s struggle was the editor of the email bulletin who insisted the bulletin have the same look and feel as it had for the last 10 years! He offered me a discount on the membership and said they would print my paragraph the way I wanted it.  What he didn’t address was the loss of trust from the daylong confusion. When I asked him if he could assure me that my remaining ads, my time, and my brand would not be affected by their internal struggles, he emailed “Evidently you have a bad taste in your mouth about this and it’s best we terminate this relationship”.   

This company, one of the official promoters of National Customer Service Week, undertook a big change – selling advertising sponsorships. What they apparently did not do was change their mindset from continuity and tradition to the new business of representing sponsors for a fee.

Insights

  • This economy presents sudden and intense changes that require flexible agile teams.  Nimble teams win business. Lumbering, slow teams lose. Teams that are intensely focused on procedures — like many customer service and technical support teams – may find themselves in the lumbering category and ill-equipped to deliver superior customer service.  How agile are your customer service and technical support teams? There are ways to become nimble and the time to learn is well before the change. Software development teams are transforming to be more agile: Agility Community Summary.



    Resistance to Change Hurts Customer Service Image:Jorgempf

  • When struggles erupt internally, think long and hard before pretending to the customers that things are progressing normally while projecting confusion. As you string business customers along you are impacting their businesses. They walk away for the sake of their businesses. Are change resistant employees costing you customers, reputation, and revenue?



  • Rebuilding trust after difficulty requires more than one attempt and is not done well through email. Business customers and consumers will take time to trust you again.  When you have broken the trust, talk to the person – don’t write. He mistakenly chose email to communicate rather than the phone. He claimed he emailed to give me time to think.  Yet his second email immediately terminating the relationship disproved that claim. He wanted to be in sole control of rebuilding the trust. He wanted to define the only issues that mattered – price and verbiage in the bulletin. He wanted there to be only one offer.  When I didn’t immediately say “OK”, he severed the sales and service relationship. You can rebuild trust if you share control of those moments with the customer. Prove your value on the issues that matter to the customer not just those important to you.

Customers remember moments. How do you want to be remembered?

Please share your insights about delivering superior customer service during times of change. I welcome your comments below.

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, has for 20 years delivered customer service and teamwork training for dynamic teamwork and the ultimate customer experience. See footage of her workshops at KateNasser.com and preview her new customer service and sales training DVD about American regional differences.

Professional People Skills – Mindset to the SkillSet

Posted on Aug 14th, 2010

People Skills Mindset to the Skillset by:Adrian Midgley


Professional people skills (soft skills) are more than a skill set. The mindset to the skillset is key to your professional people skills.  Your mindset at any moment impacts and sometimes directs how you act and what you say.  In effect, your mindset can determine the success you have in interacting with others even after you have taken professional people skills training.


From one mindset to another. The impact of mindset is very clear when you switch from one role to another. Have you switched careers lately – from business person to teacher, from sales to customer service, from team member to team leader, from technical professional to business technical liaison (to name just a few)? If you do not switch your mindset, you may find that the people skills that served you before, fail you now. Adjust your mindset and your professional people skills will adjust as well. A different position requires different people skills performance.


Stressed or not. When you feel pressured or annoyed, your mindset could lead to disastrous interactions with others. Take a moment to reset your mindset before speaking. Here’s a post with images to change your mindset when stressed out with customers: 5 Things to Think with Rude Customers.


All or nothing. Professionals with a strong technical or structured focus (technology, medicine, engineering, finance, law etc…) often put their mindset completely on that technical or structured focus. When they do, interactions with non-technical people suffer. The mindset of rigorous structure spills over into the human interactions and blocks successful bonds. Picture a doctor talking to a patient, finance professional working on a diverse team, an I/T pro working with clients or business leaders to identify solutions to business challenges. To connect in these situations, step outside of the rigorous structure when communicating. With this alternate mindset, you will see a significant difference in your people-skills.

How else does mindset impact your professional people skills?

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, inspires and teaches outstanding people skills to organizations, companies, and large conference audiences with humor, experience, and practical application. Kate improves communication skills that bridge the gaps of diversity, personality types, and geographic/cultural differences. View footage of her workshops and preview her new DVD on this site.

The Best Language for Superior Customer Service

Posted on Aug 6th, 2010

The best language for superior, truly memorable customer service is the language your customer understands. If your reaction is “no kidding”, please give this topic another moment’s consideration. I am not speaking purely about languages like English, French, Spanish, Italian, German, Russian, Swedish, Arabic, etc… I am not even speaking just about avoiding the use of slang expressions or your company’s many acronyms to ensure superior customer service.

The best language for superior customer service is language that describes your knowledge in ways that the customer can truly understand. It doesn’t matter whether you are delivering internal customer service to employees of your organization or external customer service to those that buy your products/services. If your customer doesn’t understand what you are saying, it isn’t superior customer service. I wouldn’t even call it customer service.

What does describing your knowledge in language the customer understands truly include?

Best Language for Customer Service Image By:Nancy Wombat

A. Explaining everything from the customer’s perspective and interest vs. your expert view.

B. Using online and print forms that speak to the customer not from your software system’s design. Have you seen many well designed forms — those that don’t need explanation?

C. Designing bills and other financial statements that present info a way a non-financial expert thinks. Bank statements often prominently display “average daily balance” at the end. The number I want to quickly see is ending balance not average daily balance. A hotel bill I once received at Mohonk Mountain House resort displayed the information as double entry accounting — credits/debits. My reaction was “Are you joking?”. Most non-financial people don’t think in terms of double-entry accounting and many don’t even understand double-entry accounting. The makers of Quicken financial software built their business around this simple fact.

D. Presenting website information — especially the online buying process — with words that customers understand vs. words that the finance and technology departments use.

Superior customer service requires that you communicate all your knowledge in ways the customer understands.

What other examples would you add to the list?

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, addresses all the frontiers of communicating with diverse customers for superior customer service. Her newest training DVD Customer Service USA – What They Expect Coast to Coast & Everywhere in Between (click to preview) covers the regional differences throughout the USA and Canada to truly satisfy North American customers.

Sales & Customer Service Success: “Get” Your Customers

Posted on Jul 27th, 2010

As companies try to standardize customer service, customers continue to want just the opposite.   Customers are most comfortable when the sales team, contact center, customer service center, customer care team, or technical support department truly understands them (i.e. “gets them”)!

Think about it.  When you meet someone with whom you share similar mores, accents, cultural beliefs, and outlook, how do you feel? Happier? More trusting? Drawn to them? Witness BP’s action this week to install an American CEO to deal with the crisis in the Gulf. Already we hear comments from the Gulf: “An American in the Gulf intimately understands the real needs of Gulf residents.” Frequently, I am asked to teach customer service/sales to Canadian companies with a large number of American customers. Who better to teach them how to succeed with Americans than an American?

Show Your Customers You Get Them


Comfort and Trust in Similarity

Pundits and critics will debate whether this desire for similarity is good or bad.  Admittedly, when taken to extremes it can lead to groupthink, discrimination, and plagues like racism.  In moderation, it is a positive human desire for bonding and connection. For sales and customer service, showing your customers that you truly understand them produces positive results. Why? It reduces fear, builds trust, and makes interaction much easier. This is a key component. From the customer’s perspective, less to explain means less chance for misunderstanding.


“Get Me” Don’t “Imitate Me”

I am not speaking about the weird attempts of some off-shored call centers to bond with American customers by giving the reps Americanized names.  It was laughable because the strong difference in accents made the names sound very fake.  Rather contact call centers, customer care teams, customer service centers, technical support departments and sales teams with a true understanding of intercultural differences win big.

For example, here in the USA there are vast regional differences across the nation that impact customers’ buying decisions and their expectations in customer service.  Even American based sales and service teams need to learn the regional differences to win over American customers that are from other regions of the USA.


Resources for Intercultural Learning

If you truly want customer loyalty for sales and service, show your customers you “get them”.

  1. You can build intercultural awareness by exposing your reps and sales force to social media streams.
  2. With rare exceptions, the Internet puts worldwide news events at your disposal for learning cultural perspectives and preferences.
  3. Provide intercultural training on that specific country or region. Communicaid Inc. and other firms deliver country specific cultural learning for your sales and service success.
  4. If you are doing business with Americans, learn the regional differences in the USA with the DVD “Customer Service USA – What They Expect Coast to Coast & Everywhere in Between”. (Click for preview.)

How else have you learned about cultural differences to show your customers that you “get them”?

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, teaches, consults, speaks, and coaches, on bridging the gap of diversity for success in customer service, teamwork, sales, and leadership. See additional footage about personality differences on this site Http://Katenasser.com

The Perfect Apology – the ONE Word That Destroys It!

Posted on Jul 22nd, 2010

As The People-Skills Coach, I start this post with the assumption that you are willing to take ownership of the impact your actions and words have on others. You are ready to deliver the perfect apology!

Well the perfect apology is found in simple sincerity and the ONE word that destroys it is …

IF

I am sorry IF I hurt you. IF? Do you own it or not? Do you care to rebuild my trust or not?

I am sorry IF that came across as … IF? You are aware that it came across badly so why waver?

We are sorry IF we have not met your business needs. IF? We wouldn’t be discussing it otherwise.

Your intentions don’t matter much if a team member or a customer is offended by what you have said or done. Rebuild the trust with a sincere apology as soon as you are aware of his/her reaction.

Replace IF with THAT or FOR and see the difference.

I am sorry THAT I hurt you.
I am sorry FOR the impact this had on you.
I am sorry THAT came across as …
We are sorry THAT we have not met your business needs. We will …

Why does this little change make a big difference to others? Because it is clear that you are putting their needs ahead of your pride. Simple sincerity makes for the perfect apology.

Are there are other words that destroy the perfect apology?
What apology format have you found successful?

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach in This Technical World goes far beyond etiquette and body language in her training sessions and DVDs. She delivers insights on human needs that catapult customer care and teamwork to refreshingly new heights. KateNasser.com to see footage, workshop outlines, and other blog posts.

People Skills Tips for Technical Professionals

Posted on Jul 4th, 2010

My strong technical background (Mathematics) and my natural intuition about people gives me a special insight into the people skills (also known as soft skills or interpersonal skills) of technical professionals. It is a myth that technical professionals are incapable of highly social interaction.  As with any population, there is a range of abilities which can depend on interest level. Many technical professionals seem to enjoy the technical/occupational skills over the people skills. Yet I see in them a wealth of knowledge and a very deep commitment to helping others.

Today, thanks to technology ironically, technical professionals must interact more than ever with all types of people and cultures globally while in pursuit of their technical goals!

So this post of people skills tips is dedicated to you, technical professionals and your people skills, in order that all can see and benefit from your intelligence, knowledge, and deep commitment to helping others.


People Skills Tips for Techies By:@J#@

People Skills Tips


#1 Collaborate vs. Control Instead of speaking through your entire thought and assuming people will understand you when you have completed it, stop along the way and welcome input, collaboration, and discussion. Else you risk alienating people who are not technical in nature.



#2 Dedication vs. Arrogance In any profession, you can choose to share your dedication to your profession with others. This choice creates powerful people skills and influence for your profession. Conversely, you can choose to look down on those who do not have your knowledge. This choice alienates people and reduces your influence. Dedication or arrogance — it’s your choice.



#3 Feelings Lead to Facts Most technical professionals are comfortable with facts and many are uncomfortable with feelings. Non-technical people are loaded with facts that you need in order to apply your knowledge to their business or scientific needs. In order to discover those critical facts, listen to feelings and then ask questions. Otherwise your discomfort and impatience with feelings, will come across as insensitive and possibly cruel. Bonus tip: To discover what they truly want, try a simple empathetic phrase: This can be … important, scary, frustrating … for you. People open up when they feel empathy, validation, and support.



#4 Willingness to Learn is NOT Weakness. My sister is a Ph.D. research scientist. A very bright creative problem solver with decent people skills. She is the first person I call when I have a scientific or medical question and she is glad to help. Yet when she faces a new situation about dealing with people in difficult moments, she calls me. Her willingness to learn and improve her people skills is NOT a weakness. Rather, people skills have increased her influence not lessened it.

What people skills tips would you like to add to this list? The sky’s the limit! Please share your experience in the comment field below.

[If you would like to reprint or re-post this article, please email info@katenasser.com.]

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach in This Technical World, delivers workshops, webinars, and training DVDs on people-skills for transformational teamwork and customer relations. BS Mathematics, Masters Organizational Psychology. See footage on this site: The People-Skills Coach.


The Dividends of Professional Workplace People Skills

Posted on Jun 18th, 2010

The dividends, the value, of people skills (soft skills, interpersonal skills …) become clear to those who jump into learning and using them. For skeptics, the dividends seem unclear because they can’t easily measure them with numbers before investing.

People-skills for Success Today By:afcool83

As a leader, whether you are a skeptic or a believer, it is worth considering how much more productivity and what new success your teams can achieve with better people skills. With virtual team members distributed in workplaces throughout the globe trying to meet objectives, people skills are more critical than ever to overcoming obstacles and reaching success. Even within one workplace, people skills are the vehicle for all to contribute their occupational knowledge so that others can use it effectively.

Help Desk Insitute, (popularly known as HDI), invited me to write a feature article, What Are the Dividends of People-Skills, for their Support World journal. The editor has graciously sent me the pdf (see link below) for all to read. The print version is available only to members. The article is copyrighted so please do not re-post on other sites without permission (Email: info@katenasser.com).

The article in pdf format: What Are the Dividends of People Skills.

To get started improving your people skills, here’s a related blog post: Professional People Skills – Work on You and On the Work.

Thank you Cinda and Megan at Help Desk Institute for covering this very important people-skills topic. [HDI is the professional association for internal and external IT customer support offering industry best practice research and reports, training, and certification. For more information: Help Desk Institute.]

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, brings 20 years of experience, a natural intuition about people, feisty energy, and practical vision to your organization in teamwork and customer relations workshops, DVDs, keynotes, and coaching. BS Mathematics, Masters in Organizational Psychology.


Professional People Skills – Work on You AND the Work

Posted on Jun 16th, 2010

There is much press today about whether people skills (also known as soft skills) are considered during the hiring process. Do people skills count more than your occupational (aka hard skills)?

Quite honestly, to me the debate is both useless and a bit risky. Your professional career is in your hands. Hiring managers, teams of current employees, HR reps are people. They may consider people skills. Do you want to gamble that those interviewing you don’t consider people skills in making the choice? Whether they do it consciously or subconsciously, why bet that they won’t? Develop your professional people skills. Work on you AND the work. Be workplace ready!

Work on You AND The Work by:vaXzine

When to start? Yesterday. Developing your people skills can begin in school. In can happen in your everyday life — inside and outside of work. I was lucky enough to have a mother who demanded it of us. So when I graduated college with a BS Mathematics, I had been developing the interpersonal skills of my right brain while sharpening and expanding my left brain.

Is it too late to start? Never. I continue to learn and improve my people skills. You have infinite interactions with people and it costs nothing to learn “on the job” so to speak. Even those who debate whether or not interviewers consider people skills in the hiring decision, agree that people skills are expected and assessed for job assignments and promotions once you have the job.

How to start? The most productive first step is to understand your own personality type — for two reasons.

  1. You will interpret what other people say and do based on your own personality type.  It is your reference sheet.
  2. Knowing your type gives you limitless potential for adapting to others of a different personality type.  It is the fuel for success in teamwork, leadership, customer relations, and long term professional friendships.

Here is some valuable footage on personality type differences to spur your learning: GPS Your Brain to Work With Any Personality Type.

Get Started! Take a well respected personality indicator like The Kiersey Temperament Sorter and then use the knowledge in your daily interactions. People-skills are the conduit to delivering your occupational knowledge to those around you and to the company that employs you.

If you get stuck, you can always call me (or my mother) for help!

Warmest wishes,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach in This Technical World
Masters in Org. Psychology

Kate Nasser delivers her 20 years of experience and her natural intuition about people in inspirational keynotes, transformational teamwork and customer care workshops, and coaching for your success. Preview her new customer service training DVD Customer Service USA.


How To Handle Irate or Angry Customers, Would You Want This?

Posted on May 27th, 2010

In a recent post on Bury These Phrases for the Best Teamwork, I buried the phrase “I am sorry you feel that way …”. It is a masquerade of an apology that scars team relationships.

One visitor to my blog, asked me if it was acceptable, however, to say that to an irate, angry, or upset customer? She went on to say that in several training workshops on how to handle irate or angry customers, they teach this and actually require the CSRs to say it. “So that you do not need to verbalize an apology, use I am sorry you feel that way to diffuse the emotion and move on to solving the issue at hand.”

Handling Irate or Angry Customers By:Josh.Liba

This is an abomination. Irate customers are adults who have lost trust and that is where the emotion begins. They want to be heard. The worst thing you can do is dance around and try to avoid responsibility.

I have been teaching how to handle irate customers for 20+ years and cringe at the thought of anyone teaching dedicated CSRs or technical support reps to say I am sorry you feel that way.

It is as bad as calm down and relax. In essence you are telling the customer that their emotion is unacceptable and that you are not responsible.

Let the irate, angry or upset customers vent their frustrations verbally. When they come up for air, there are several statements you can use one of which is a true apology for their experience. Yet if your company truly wants to avoid an apology (why I do not know), at least validate the irate customer’s emotion with something like “Clearly we have upset you. Let’s fix this now…” or “I hear your frustration and I am here to fix it.”

If you want customer loyalty, use “Clearly we have upset you and we are sorry. I am here to resolve the issues.” Stay away from “I understand”. Irate and angry customers are speaking from emotion. Most interpret “I understand” to mean “I understand your pain” which you don’t — and they yell that back at you.

What do you think? When you are the irate or angry customer, would you want someone to say to you “I am sorry you feel that way …”?

By the way, if you want more information on how to stay positive and objective with an irate or angry customer, here are two posts with key images: The Best Mindset and Training to Deal with Irate Customers and 5 Things to Think with Thorny Customers.

©2010 Kate Nasser, Somerville, NJ.

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, delivers top notch workshops on customer service and teamwork people-skills for transformational results. See the workshop outlines on this site.

Bury These Phrases for Best Teamwork & People-Skills

Posted on May 25th, 2010

The best teamwork in the workplace requires great people-skills. As a team member what you say and how you say it impacts productivity and teamwork today and tomorrow and down the road. Phrases that team members see as disrespectful (regardless of your intentions) can bury teamwork and your workplace relationship.

For all team members and leaders who like practical information for the best teamwork and people-skills, here’s a checklist of four phrases to bury and never use again!

Bury These Phrases for Best Teamwork

  1. “Whatever!” The current popularity of this phrase does not lessen its sting. You are basically saying to your team member: “your thoughts don’t matter to me”. This will leave scars that damage teamwork. It you disagree with a team member, then say I disagree. If you are frustrated because they are talking endlessly, then say “we are short on time today…”. Bury the phrase whatever and don’t ever dig it up!

  2. “All you’ve done is ….” The culprit here is the word all. It packs whatever you are about to say with emotion — negative emotion. A colleague of mine was speaking with a networking contact who was a driver/driver personality type. The contact said to my colleague about her work “All you’ve done is invent a job for yourself.” The networking contact’s “all you’ve’ done is …” phrase is insulting and demeaning. On a team, this phrase could leave a scar between team members that never heals. Bury this phrase all you’ve done is … deep in the ground so it doesn’t ooze up during a flood!

  3. “Don’t you think …?” Most of the time, people use this phrase to pressure someone into agreement. Much better to state what you believe (“I think”) and ask the team members what they think. “Don’t you think we should or …” is a passive aggressive way of expressing disagreement and often triggers resistance and emotion. To reach an end goal, put the issues on the table for the team members to directly discuss. Bury the phrase don’t you think … and replace it with what do you think?.

  4. “I’m sorry you feel I have …”. This is one of the most common and is a most offensive phrase — whether you say it in the workplace or in your personal life. Said on a team, it is deadly. The culprit here are the words you feel. If someone has told you that you have offended, hurt, insulted … them, offer a simple direct apology I am sorry. If you want to go further, use and I am sorry for the impact this has had on you. Bury your fear of apologizing along with the phrase I’m sorry you feel I have …. You will be respected for your courage and your caring.

What other phrases would you bury?

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, delivers transformational team building and customer relations sessions to corporations across many industries. For 20 years, her energy and experience has activated teamwork and service improvements in the toughest situations. See testimonials on this site.
BS Mathematics, Masters in Organizational Psychology.

5 Things to Think With Rude Customers for Best Results

Posted on May 15th, 2010

Rude customers in customer service work do not have to wear to you down. Rude customers can actually be the best people-skills learning experience you will ever have. Think these 5 things when working with rude customers for best results and to avoid getting upset. I have been teaching people-skills, teamwork, and customer service for 20+ years. The right thoughts and mindset affect everything.

THINK these 5 things and let the people-skills learning begin!! Do it daily as a mantra and your outlook toward rude customers (and rude people in general) will change.

Thoughts for Rude Customers By:Yogendra174


  1. Thorns don’t attack you; they protect them.
    Plants have thorns to protect them. So do people. When you hear a person’s thorns, recognize their fear and weakness. The thorns are not attacking you. They are protecting them. Do not attack out of your fear and you will not get pricked by their thorns.


  2. Easy doesn’t sharpen a thorn. One of the most common questions I receive is “Aren’t we teaching them to be rude next time if we are nice to rude customers this time?” No! Your positive responses do not teach them to be thornier! Thorny customers are adults who make their own decisions.


  3. De-thorning them will hurt you! If a stranger tried to kick down your defense mechanisms (like your front door), how would you react? The customers do not have a family relationships or close friendships with you. To them you are a stranger. If you try to clip their thorns directly, they will prick you back.


  4. Empathize Emotion; Don’t Analyze the Thorns! Trying to analyze a customer’s thorns in the few minutes you have to deliver service is not feasible or logical. It takes therapists years to analyze a client’s emotions. Yours is to deliver service, not to change the customer. Show empathy for their emotion; don’t analyze their thorns.


  5. Positivity Beats Equality; Don’t be a Thorn! During a recent workshop a technical support rep asked me “Why does a rude customer acting badly deserved to be treated well?”. I replied, “You treat the customer well because it works. It gets you to the end goal.” Treating the customer badly will not get the customer to treat you well. More importantly, it will veer you off course from business success. Positivity beats equality as a winning strategy in customer service.


Be the sun, not the thorn. Happy gardening.

©2010 Kate Nasser, Somerville, NJ.

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, delivers humor, inspiration and activation for professional people-skills through workshops, keynotes, video webinars, training dvds, and consulting sessions. She has a natural GPS for people, a Masters degree in Organizational Psychology, and 20 years of experience in customer service, teamwork, and leading change. Preview and get her new training dvd “Customer Service USA – Expectations Across America” by clicking on that box in the right sidebar on this site.

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