Teamwork

Conquer Listening Barriers: Do You Get Stuck on Keywords?

Most everyone can list out common listening barriers. Surrounding noise, anger, and fatigue always make the list. You can conquer listening barriers like these with rest, settling the anger, and quieting the noise. There is one listening barrier that often operates without your awareness.



Getting stuck on keywords that you frequently hear.



Conquer Listening Barriers: Image is a head blindfolded w/ book attached.

Conquer Listening Barriers: Unstick from Keywords. Image by Cliff via Flickr.

Image by Cliff via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Conquer Listening Barriers: Unstick from Keywords

Think of words that immediately capture your attention. Do they also trap your listening because you’ve heard them so often?

Example:

As I teach technical support teams how to conquer listening barriers with customers, I give them this frequent customer request to assess:

The customer says, “I had trouble logging in all morning. Now I’m logged in and this isn’t working.” A few listen to whole description and aren’t blocked by the keywords ‘trouble logging in’. They work to understand what isn’t working.

Several get stuck on those keywords and mistakenly work on getting the customer logged in. Not surprisingly, the customer gets frustrated and upset.

—–

Conquer Listening Barriers of Keywords

  • List the keywords that most often trap your listening.
  • Question yourself when you hear those keywords to stop your assumptions.
  • Restate what you think you’ve heard. Other’s feedback helps conquer your listening barriers.



What keywords have blocked your listening?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:

Listening Beyond Our Boundaries
Listening Responsibility: 5 Reasons People Interrupt Us

©2016 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.



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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

7 Ego Actions That Stifle or Harm Others

As people interact in the workplace, egos sometimes clash. Other times the ego actions are one-way and the damaging results are hidden. In either case, low emotional intelligence has left a vacuum and ego actions filled it. The results can be disastrous for leadership, teamwork, and customer service.




Ego Actions: Image is the word EGO spelled out.

Ego Actions That Stifle Leadership, Teamwork, Service. Image by: Bexx Brown

Image by BexxBrown via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Ego Actions Checklist: Are Any of These 7 Damaging Your Workplace?

  1. Hoarding knowledge. When leaders or team members don’t share their knowledge, ego has become more important than anything. Tip: Leaders, assess what if anything in the culture or in your leadership may be feeding or tolerating this behavior.
  2. Exerting experience over input. In leadership, teamwork, and customer service, claiming your experience supersedes input from others is ego gone wild.
  3. Exerting goals over interaction. When people want to interact while achieving a goal and you refuse, your ego is screaming “I matter, you don’t.”
  4. Asserting dominance instead of collaborating. Example: A patient saw a surgeon about a lump they discovered on their own. The surgeon recommended an ultrasound. The radiologist who did the ultrasound told the patient it was inconclusive. When the patient requested to consult with the surgeon again, the radiologist blurted out: “The surgeon does what *I recommend.” The patient left that practice and found one where “ego wouldn’t get in the way of my survival.”
  5. Telling an upset customer, “I’m trying to help you.” Insight: Delivering superior customer service is about the customers emotional needs, not the reps. The “I am trying to help you” statement is a plea to customers to be nicer. Yet when reps become frustrated like this, their egos can sabotage success. Keep it simple. Make customers feel better, solve their problem, and their upset will disappear.
  6. Wrapping up in a label. Whether you are labeling yourself or others, ego actions are at play. Labels declare. They feel safe. They protect vulnerability from shining through. Examples: “I’m a techie, not a psychologist.” “You’re overly emotional.” “You always …”
  7. Needing to have the last word. Nothing screams needy ego more than always needing to have the last word. This need is one of the ego actions that drives people away. They feel it’s futile to interact with someone who has an insatiable ego.


Jump start great interaction with this list. Have your teams add to the list. Identify where the ego actions are stifling leadership, action, and customer service. From there everyone can discuss how to replace ego actions with more productive behaviors.


What harmful ego actions would you add to the list right now? Why?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Career Success: Are You Rocking w/ These 13 People Skills?
How to Survive Ego Driven Toxic Leaders
5 Steps to Develop Emotional Intelligence

©2016 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.



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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Leadership Dilemma: Self-Serving Team Members

One of my customers, a strong leader, described this leadership dilemma to me:

A team member who produced results with the other team members had fallen very ill. Let’s call this team member “Reach”.

When the leader approached the team members for a show of empathy, cards, flowers, and other help for “Reach”, many team members quietly avoided the subject and some clearly declined.

Leadership Dilemma: Image is a skyscraper type structure.

Leadership Dilemma: Self-Serving High Performing Team Member Image by: ErickGonzalez50

Image by ErickGonzalez50 via Flickr Creative Commons License.


The concerned leader asked me to speak with the team members to learn more about the situation and what he had missed. He wanted to know how to lead better in the future. I agreed and asked the leader to think about his definition of teamwork.

Inside the Team Members’ Perspective

  1. Reach was well-known for saying things like: “Always associate with people better than you to achieve success.” The team members wondered who Reach was referring to? Meanwhile, they perceived Reach overlooking them while always looking up.

  2. Reach helped himself grow — he didn’t help others to grow. He was also well-known for saying, “people give and help because they want to. They shouldn’t expect anything in return.”

  3. Did they ever speak to the leader about Reach’s attitude? Two team members reported they had separately spoken to the leader who refocused the discussion on Reach’s work contribution and results. As they compared notes of the leader’s outlook — which they shared with the rest of the team — they all felt is was futile to raise the subject again with the leader.

  4. How had they been able to produce results with Reach while having these negative feelings? Interestingly, they had completely shut out personal feelings for Reach and focused only on results.

  5. When the leader approached them for empathy, cards, flowers and other help for Reach, they were shocked. They had accepted the leader’s results only focus and said they felt both confused and betrayed by his call for personal help for Reach. Neither Reach nor the leader had cared about them. They asked me: What is the leader’s definition of teamwork? Purely getting the job done or caring for and helping each other to get the job done?


I reported my findings to the leader (without identifying who said what). The leader was stunned to learn that the team members saw Reach as a self-serving opportunist. I asked the leader for his definition of teamwork? He told me he always believed that teamwork included caring and helping each other to grow.

When I asked him about results only focus regarding Reach, he confessed he didn’t know what else to say/do when the team members came to him about Reach’s attitude. He didn’t see himself as a psychologist. He faced a leadership dilemma and quickly fell back into a traditional results only focus.


Leadership Dilemma: People Skills Lessons Learned

    Results only focus has at least one benefit and one risk. The short term benefit is clear. The risk is blindness to plummeting morale that can affect future work results.
    Fear can mesmerize and stop a leader from growing. The team members had courageously approached the leader; the leader panicked in fear and took the easy way out — avoidance.
    Awareness and listening are critical leadership skills. Reach was well-known for saying things that this leader never caught. Even if Reach hadn’t said them in front of the leader, team members reported it to him. He then got stuck in his leadership dilemma.
    It isn’t enough for a leader to let the team define teamwork. The leader must contribute to the definition. The leader is part of the team. They all must live it. The leader’s expectations of teamwork are critical in difficult times. It replaces a leadership dilemma with shared definitions and successful actions.


What other lessons do you glean from this leadership dilemma?

What else stops leaders from addressing opportunistic team member behavior?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership Dilemma: Can You Spot Self-Serving Mavericks?
Teamwork Productivity: 21 Reasons People Can’t Automatically Get Along
Teamwork Persona: Are You Somone Others Want to Work With?
18 Things Respected Well Liked Leaders Consistently Do


©2016 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.



QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Belonging Needs & Impact: People Skills Global Twitter Chat Topic

WHEN: Sunday Jan, 10, 2016 at 10AM EST. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Here’s a time converter to assist all of you around the globe in converting 10am EST to your local time.


Background on This Chat Topic: Belonging Needs & Impact

Some say that every human needs a sense of belonging. That it validates existence. Others say it is shaped by many factors and varies greatly between people. Join us to share your views on the need for belonging.



Belonging: Image is the people skills logo.

Belonging: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Belonging Needs & Impact

JOIN us Jan. 10, 2016 10amET/3pmGMT in #peopleskills global Twitter chat to share your views on belonging.

Some additional questions to get us thinking in advance. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

  • What is belonging? An inner feeling or membership in a specific organization?
  • Do you believe that all people have a need for belonging? Pls. explain.
  • If yes, is the need for belonging more positive than negative or vice versa?
  • The opposite of belonging is ______________.
  • How strong is the need for belonging? Where does it come from?
  • How does the need for belonging shape our choices?
  • What conflicts are there between need for belonging and need for individual expression?
  • Belonging, empathy, trust: How are they connected? Pls. explain.
  • How does the need for belonging affect our interactions w/ others and our lives?
  • A need for belonging appears as ___________.
  • How are cliques and bullying related to belonging if at all?
  • Can teamwork exist without the need to belong? Why/why not?
  • How do people skills fulfill the need for belonging?


So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join the people skills global chat community this Sunday Jan. 10, 2016 10am ET on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to explore the importance and impact of belonging.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, and LinkedIn. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your individual insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Jandis Price and Tom Rhodes for their time and insightful contributions.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Twitter Chat #peopleskills this Sunday Jan. 10, 2016 10am ET/7am PT / 3pm GMT to explore belonging.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. Jan. 10, 2016 10am ET/3pm GMT in People Skills Global Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) TOPIC: Importance and Impact of Belonging.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2016 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Workplace Personality Conflicts: Results Beat Revenge

In a previous post on people skills for social media greatness, I highlighted specific well-intentioned behaviors that can offend and block success.

One reader commented that anyone can get offended so it’s a wash. Getting even is fair play, right? No, not right. It’s a sad descent into workplace personality conflicts that are very avoidable with professional people skills.



Workplace personality Conflicts: Image is boxing gloves.

Workplace Personality Conflicts: Seek Results Not Revenge. Image by: Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com

There are serious business consequences to employees seeking revenge instead of results. Perhaps the biggest one is missing out on what teams can achieve with professional people skills vs. the resulting isolation of workplace personality conflicts.



Workplace Personality Conflicts: Seek Results Not Revenge

Tugs-of-war over personality styles stifle communication — the instrument of success. Leaders who realize the power of coaching employees through workplace personality conflicts also realize great long term results. They don’t let differences isolate team members and block success.

These leaders address silent tugs-of-war and more active workplace personality conflicts.

  1. Who does the adapting? Everyone. When employees approach you with issues of communication style differences, coach all to adapt to reach great results.

  2. Which one of the personality types produces the best results in business? None of them. Business is complex. It involves people with different occupational views. These people have different personality and communication styles. It is the fusion of natural talents that delivers results.

  3. What is the difference between a tug-of-war and a lively disagreement of ideas? Tugs-of-war are not productive. Active discussions of differing views are. Tugs-of-war strive to maintain position to win. Active discussions explore and adapt to achieve a shared success. Teams and organizations succeed when employees adapt to and work with different communication styles not battle over which communication style is right! Strive to be excellent, not right.



The Questions That Transform Workplace Personality Conflicts

When personality style differences appear, ask yourselves:

  • What can I learn from this person?
  • How will I grow from working with this different style?
  • What results can we achieve through this diversity that we can’t without it?
  • How can I move toward results while still respecting the other persona’s views and personality style?
  • How can I best ask for respect of my style while still contributing to the end results?
  • What common ground do we have that we can elevate for success?
  • How can we communicate well even with all our differences?


High performing teams share an incredible desire for results. Revenge toward each other is not their motivator. They contribute their skills, knowledge and talent. They flex and adapt to turn diversity into golden nuggets of success.

Inspire them to flex and adapt. Book the Quick Spot & Adapt™ workshop. By moving past the typical personality labels, this workshop has people quickly spotting differences and adapting easily. Join the thousands who have attended this powerful and fun workshop. They have learned and use the people skills Quick Spot & Adapt™ techniques to replace workplace personality conflicts with success!







How well are your teams doing? Are they stuck in silent tugs-of-war over personality differences or easily tapping diversity to produce tremendous results?

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
GPS Your Brain to Work w/ Any Personality Type
People Skills Secret Revealed for Introverts & Extroverts
Respect the Differences, Love the Differences, Find the Fit!
Leadership: Risks of Mislabelling Issues as Workplace Personality Conflicts
Teambuilding Across Generations – Proven Approach

©2012-2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.



QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Managing Expectations: People Skills Global Twitter Chat Topic

WHEN: Sunday Dec, 13, 2015 at 10AM EST. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Here’s a time converter to assist all of you around the globe in converting 10am EST to your local time.


Background on This Chat Topic: Managing Expectations

One of the biggest challenges between people — in life and at work — is managing expectations. With friends, spouses, family, teammates, and customers, unstated expectations can create havoc and interaction difficulties. Join us in people skills global Twitter chat to explore managing expectations.



Managing Expectations: Image is the people skills logo.

Managing Expectations: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Managing Expectations: Why and How!

Most people have expectations of themselves and others. Is it more harm that good or more good than harm? JOIN us in #peopleskills global Twitter chat Sunday Dec. 13th as we explore this topic.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

  • What is an expectation? Different from a need?
  • Where do expectations come from?
  • How do expectations get dashed?
  • How do you know when your expectations are different from reality? Are there warning signs?
  • What are the negative aspects of having expectations?
  • How have expectations helped you in your life and/or work?
  • If you could issue a decree about expectations, what would it be?
  • How can we unearth people’s expectations of us sooner than later?
  • What happens when we don’t understand customers’ expectations? How can we do this better?
  • What makes a leader not communicate their expectations? How does it make you feel?
  • How does fear of conflict affect expectations, if at all?
  • What lessons about expectations have you learned in your life?


So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join the people skills global chat community this Sunday Dec. 13, 2015 10am ET on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to explore managing expectations.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, and LinkedIn. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your individual insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Jandis Price and Tom Rhodes for their time and insightful contributions.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Twitter Chat #peopleskills this Sunday Dec. 13, 2015 10am ET/7am PT / 3pm GMT to explore managing expectations.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. Dec. 13, 2015 10am ET/3pm GMT in People Skills Global Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) TOPIC: Managing Expectations.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Diversity on teams generally breeds better results and more success. Is this now true of the generational diversity in the workplace? It can be if you as leaders provide team building across generations. Maximize the value of generational differences and you can realize the potential and success of experience meeting youthful innovation.

There are light, fun ways for team members across generations to get to know each other.   If you want members of multi-generational teams to get to know how they each think, here is a more substantive approach proven to go deeper than the surface.

I developed this exercise, Success is Ageless, to use with one of my customers and I now use it in several variations with many other customers around the globe.



Team Building Across Generations: Image is cross section of tree trunk.

Team Building Across Generations (Istock image)



Team Building Across Generations

Benefits of the Success is Ageless Team Building Exercise:

  1. Common bonds built from both similarity and difference
  2. Fewer fear-based hidden blocks
  3. Respect from common struggles of different journeys
  4. Success from experience meeting innovation

Setting: Simple office training or conference room that allows people to move around and work together.  The setup must encourage interaction. Do not do this exercise around one conference table or in a room with rows of tables/chairs.  These setups do not encourage interaction.

A/V: Internet access, printing capability, flip charts/easels, videoconferencing (if virtual teams).


Approach: Step One – Have each team member select an image from online resources — one image from her/his early childhood or early teenage years.   They should select an image that made an impression on them, say something about them, or changed their outlook in some way.  If for some reason you will not have internet access, ask the team members to do this in advance and bring the image to the team building workshop. 


Once this step is done, break into groups of 3 team members each of mixed generations.  For the image from childhood/adolescence, each one tells a story about what was happening to her/him that coincided with that image.   How did it shape who they are today?


Step Two: Hand out a pre-printed image of a current event.  Team members in each group discuss the image. A current event that suggests struggle and success/achievement works well.



Here are the guided discussion questions for this segment:

  1. What feelings and values do we share about this event?
  2. Where do our outlooks differ?
  3. What do differences represent to each team member — win/lose, right/wrong, need for collaboration/flexibility, chaos/order, fear/courage, hierarchy/teamwork, etc…


To end this team building exercise, highlight how team diversity can breed great success.  It may take longer for teams to gel and get along.  Nonetheless the different talents, knowledge, outlooks, and innovative ideas make teams capable and ready to handle any challenge. Diversity also helps prevent the terrible plague of groupthink.


Pair up one last time.  Write and read aloud one positive statement about the talent, knowledge, and insight that your partner brings to the team’s projects and success. This final step secures the lessons learned of respecting differences and carries them into daily teamwork.



Respect the Differences.


Learn to Love the Differences.


Find the Fit.


Celebrate the Shared Successes!



What variations or additions to this team building exercise would you suggest?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Are These 5 Extremes Harming Your Teamwork?
Teamwork Persona: Are You Someone Others Want to Work With?

©2010-2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.


QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

The basis of teamwork is respect. When diverse people come together on a team, respect weaves the thread of positive interaction in good times and bad.


Sounds obvious and simple? It can be if all teammates act in ways before and during the bad times that will make apologies worthy of acceptance.


Here’s a checklist for teamwork respect that keep teammates connected even in bad times.


Teamwork: Making Apologies Worthy of Acceptance Image licensed from istock.com.

Image licensed from: Istock.com

Respect. The sooner and more completely all embrace diversity by showing true respect for differences, the greater the chance that teammates can accept apologies when a problem between them occurs.

Any sense of disrespect, disregard, one-upmanship, verbal bullying, sarcastic digs, or passive aggressive manipulation will cast a shadow over apologies. Even after teammates have known each other awhile they must remember the daily dose of respect to keep the threads of teamwork strong.

Checklist step: What thoughts and feelings of yours bring you to disrespect for others? Need to control, insecurity, discomfort with ambiguity, self-deception, fear of the new, extreme individual views, ignorance of cultural, gender, educational or personality differences?



Appreciation. While respect keeps the threads of interaction strong, appreciation turns those threads into a vivid painting of warm positive context. Every time you express sincere appreciation for a teammate’s talents, strengths, behaviors, and uniqueness, you increase the chance that your apology in bad times will be accepted by the others.

Checklist step: In a quiet moment, list out the names of all your teammates. If possible, put his/her picture next to each name. Write down 2 positive traits and 1 unique trait for each. Share this information in natural conversation when you witness these traits. When people are both respected and appreciated for who they are, they can also accept your sincere apologies.



Ownership. The ultimate challenge for accepting an apology is to hear the sincerity over the pain. At the very early stages of pain, clear words of ownership of the mistake shout out the immediate pain and prevent additional pain. Respect and appreciation can then filter in as teammates realize you own the impact of your behavior.

Checklist step: Which of these phrases have you slipped and used?

  • I’m sorry IF I hurt you or IF you perceived my words that way.
  • I was trying to help you; you should be grateful I cared.
  • I’m sorry BUT I was … busy, overtired, etc…
  • I didn’t mean to hurt you.
  • I’m sorry you took it the wrong way.
  • You are not an easy person to deal with but I shouldn’t have lost my temper.

Replace all these sidestepping self-protecting detours with a simple straightforward apology. Related post: The Perfect Apology and the One Word that Destroys It.



Caring. When you show respect for diversity, express appreciation for individual uniqueness, offer ownership of your gaffes and mistakes, and share empathy for others’ pain, your apologies ooze caring and have the highest chance for acceptance.

You read over and over that apologies must be sincere else they will fail. When you defend or offer an apology only when cornered, it screams insincerity. However when you consistently show respect, appreciation, ownership, and care, people can see any one slip up a forgivable human error.

Checklist step: Start each day with a self-declaration of accountability and integrity. Build your own reputation of being full of class and the “real thing”. Why? Because accountability and integrity show deep inner strength and inner strength is a heck of a billboard!




Some struggle with apologizing because they think it publicizes their weakness and faults. They think it is humiliating and diminishes potential success. However it’s important not to confuse humility with humiliation. A straightforward apology and remedy is the perfect chance to build trust and a reputation of integrity.


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Avoid the 8 Common Causes of People Skills Mistakes
What’s So Hot About Humility Anyway?

©2012-2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.


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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

A Salute to the Second Bananas in the Workplace!


So much focus is put on leadership, we run the risk of overlooking the incredibly wide range of talents in everyone — just waiting to be developed more.


25 Incredibly Valuable Talents to Recognize, Honor, and Develop




People who strive for a leadership position are held in higher esteem than those who do not. A second-class message lingers about employees who do not strive to move up the ladder — despite their vast talents and contributions.

We can replace this misguided culture with one that values all the talents of the entire team.



The benefits to the organization and employees abound.

  • Retention of high performing team members and their knowledge and finely honed teamwork.
  • An abundance mentality rather than a fight for the leadership spots.
  • A flourishing collaboration as people experience true recognition rather than a skew toward those who strive for the title of leader.



This is the zone of true employee engagement. It highlights contributions not just as tests for future leadership slots but also as a celebration of everyone’s talents and contributions. People can grow and excel at what they do well rather than feign interest in a leadership position to avoid being seen as an underachiever.

25 Incredibly Valuable Talents to Honor & Celebrate

In addition to occupational skills and business knowledge, people have natural talents and people skills abilities that deliver success to the organization.


  1. A great collaborator. Those who have natural collaboration skills or have developed them through years of work are a definite asset to any team.
  2. A memory bank. Even the greatest computers don’t replace someone with a memory for BOTH what has transpired AND the human impact and reaction to it. This memory bank becomes the team’s intuition and collective gut for in-the-moment decisions.
  3. A motivator. Those who inspire themselves and others to higher levels bring every organization to un-imagined success.
  4. A velvet truth teller. These naturals at speaking the truth honestly not brutally deliver the soft strength of trust to an organization and its pursuits.
  5. A creative. Having a creative on a team whose function is not primarily creative expands the team’s capacity to work on non-standard requests and its ability to work with creative departments.
  6. An innovator. Those who love and deliver innovation fuel evolution and prevent the failure that comes from inertia and resistance to change.
  7. A supporter. Supporters naturally anticipate needs, fill gaps, and often excel at last minute problem solving. Valuable for any team.
  8. An empathizer. Teamwork needs more than occupational skills to succeed. It needs people with emotional intelligence who can sustain each other. An empathizer does this easily and well and helps all to rise above tough times to reach the goal.
  9. A sounding board. This ability to know exactly when to listen and when to question while allowing others to own their progression uplifts all who experience this gift.
  10. A get-it-done guy/gal. Without action, ideas die. The follow-through champs drive home success.
  11. A healthy skeptic. Skeptics abound and often drown progress. Healthy skeptics challenge assumptions and prevent groupthink to keep progress flowing.
  12. A critical thinker. Often tapped for a leadership position yet not always interested or successful as a leader. Their value to any team is undisputed.
  13. A port in a storm. Those who can keep the calm for themselves and others during unexpected chaos keep the team balanced and performing during the blasts.
  14. A practical philosopher. Philosophical insights can sustain morale, move all beyond obstacles, and even solve problems. When applied with a simultaneous eye for the practical, the practical philosopher sees solutions that others overlook.
  15. A balance beam. Employees that see both sides of every issue, easily give and take, have hope yet still understand despair, love the present and adapt to the future, become the solid base of success for the whole team.
  16. A sprinter. Bursts of winning energy help every team handle sudden changes and requests, jump the hurdles, and win the day.
  17. A marathoner. Picture a grueling project that is not a sprint. Marathoners are an endless pump of energy, hope, and action during the long haul.
  18. A billboard of diversity. An employee who is of mixed culture, has lived in different countries, grew up with parents of different generations, etc… can bring a valuable renaissance of open-mindedness to the organization and resulting success.
  19. A nexus of personality types. Personality type differences can often be the source of discord. People who border the different personality types (and yes they do exist), help smooth the rough edges and blend the diversity into success.
  20. A double cookie. This is a phrase I coined for people who have great capacity to use their left and right brains together. Instead of being heavily left brain or tipping over to the creative right side, double cookies deliver the power of creative analysis and the big picture. They can spot when the team is trapped on either side or in a war between the two. They spotlight the juncture for team success.
  21. An intuitive. Historically, workplace cultures have marginalized the value of intuition. That is slowly changing to embrace intuitives’ gift of the gut to speed team success.
  22. An organizer. The natural organizer clears the path of complexity for all to reach simple success.
  23. A transplant. The employee who has worked in many industries, or professions, or departments in the organization delivers the single greatest advantage to reducing silos. Let us not label them as unreliable. Let us benefit from their broad vision.
  24. A rainmaker. This rare ability to create opportunities and attract new customers is not just for sales departments. A rainmaker fuels cross teamwork. A rainmaker can energize any team to the highest level of spirited performance.
  25. A communicator. Great communication was, is, and will be the essential fuel and necessary glue of any organization. Celebrate those who do it well and let them be the model for the organization.

What must leaders do to salute these talents and the employees who have them?

    Overcome the historical myth that those who don’t want to climb the ladders are lazy. Global success does not proceed vertically. Companies must reach outward not just upward. Organizations who “get this”, retain the talent.

    Change compensation schemes that claim there must be some who outperform others and base bonuses on that scheme. When you retain tremendous talent who are feeding success, make sure you give them all the fruits of their labor.

    Change compensation schemes that automatically pay more if someone switches into a management/leadership position. This has been discussed for years as the dual track issue and some organizations have made great strides.

    Give testimonials on high performers to other departments. Employees who don’t want to climb the ladder may want to broaden their experience by working in other areas of the organization. When a leader praises their talents to other department leaders, that leader is saluting the employee’s talent. The leader is fueling the employee’s career success and the organization’s as well.



From your unique perspective, what would you add to the list of 25 to make it a list of 50 valuable talents to honor and celebrate? I welcome your contribution in the comments field below.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Video: 5 Essentials to Building Remarkable 21st Century Teams Through Their Natural Talents
Leaders, Do You Really Know Why Your Employees Work?
7 Keys to Creating a Safe Place to Engage

©2012-2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Teamwork Persona: Will Others Want to Work With You?

Colonel Pamela Melroy, former NASA space shuttle commander, recently asked a very telling people skills question during her career mentoring talks at the space and science festival on the Intrepid Museum.



Are you someone others would want to spend two years with?


Young adults in school, new entrants into the workplace, or experienced workers changing careers, often overlook this question. They focus on developing occupational skills. Yet the people skills and team skills are the aspects that answer Colonel Melroy’s question. It took more than science smarts to be in space with others.


Teamwork Persona: Image is teammates working on a creative project.

Teamwork Persona: Are You Someone Others Want to Work With? Image by Creative Sustainability via Flickr.

Image by Creative Sustainability via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Teamwork Persona: Are You Someone Others Will Want to Work With?

Start developing your teamwork persona early on and never stop. Your people skills and teamwork skills determine if others want to spend time with you. Here’s a checklist to guide you.

  1. Flexibility and affability. What behaviors do you exhibit that make it easy to get along with you? What traits or behaviors will you develop to make it even easier?

  2. Reliability. Do you bring all your talents and abilities to work every single day? Do you shine or retreat in tough times?

  3. Honesty not bluntness. Do you communicate with honesty and care? Are you straightforward without being blunt? Your teamwork persona will attract others when you are easy to understand without being hurtful.

  4. Collaboration. How do you react to this word? Do you want to scream out, “I’m highly competitive!” If you did, would others want you on their team? Something to think about.

  5. Confidence not arrogance. How do you come across? Teammates want your confidence. It lightens the load. They don’t want your arrogance. It increases the load. Make a list of behaviors that you believe express confidence and those that show arrogance. Ask others how you come across. Work on the first list and eliminate the second! This is how you improve your teamwork persona.

  6. Moderation of extremes. Most everyone has some extreme behaviors. It could be habits you’ve developed or traits that have evolved. The key question is: Can you moderate them so they don’t burden others?

  7. Courage and humility. Work requires both depending on the situation. When pressure mounts, how do you act? When conditions require some restraint, can you do that well?

  8. Respect. Showing respect to and for others is essential to a great teamwork persona. It is the basis for all teamwork.

  9. Integrity. The ultimate factor in whether people will want to work with you. Trust is everything.


Developing your occupational skills is the normal career path. Developing your teamwork persona will lead to incredible career success. Start now!



What would you add to this teamwork persona checklist?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
21 Reasons People Don’t Get Along at Work
5 Extremes That Harm Teamwork
Moderation Doesn’t Mean Mediocrity

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.



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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Be Treated Respectfully: How to Respond to Disrespect

What would you say to someone who is disrespecting you? How would you respond to pushy people who show no consideration for your view?

Would you take offense, get angry, and tell them off? Would you say nothing and simmer in anger? Would you walk away and avoid them in the future? There is a better way.



Be Treated Respectfully: Image is hand up in front of the sun.

Be Treated Respectfully: Set Limits w/ Pushy People Image by: _RedHeat

Image by _RedHeat via Flickr Creative Commons License.


How to Set Limits on Disrespect & Be Treated Respectfully

There are many ways to behave in the face of disrespect. In one off interactions, you might ignore it realizing you will never see that person again. You value your serenity and believe in yourself so why bother with it.

Yet when it happens with people you will be around frequently, ignoring disrespect can undermine healthy relationships. You overlook it, remain silent and one day your anger erupts when you’ve had enough. The offender then says “why didn’t you tell me sooner?”



To respond to disrespect and be treated respectfully …

  1. Calmly and firmly say: “Stop. You will not speak to me that way” or “Stop. Please do not speak to me that way.”
  2. Continue with: “I show you basic respect. I ask the same in return.”


If the offender is your boss at work and you cannot respond this way, calmly say: “You have my full attention even without yelling. I am actually more productive that way.” It’s respectful; it communicates commitment; it educates them on your needs.

In both instances you have a dual purpose: Set limits and be treated respectfully. The bonus is that you help others see beyond their own needs. Picture this image of mutual respect and communicate with calm confidence.



Be Treated Respectfully: Image is handshake.

Be Treated Respectfully: Image by Casa Thomas Jefferson via Flickr.

Image by Casa Thomas Jefferson via Flickr Creative Commons License


Confident communication is key to being treated respectfully. Initially the offenders may claim you took it the wrong way. Others may apologize to you and thank you for telling them (yes it does happen). Either way, you have set limits by showing respect for yourself and them — not by yelling. It works.


What successes have you had in setting limits? Please share with us!



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Are You Brutally Blunt or Helpfully Honest?
The Perfect Apology and the ONE Word That Destroys It
11 Steps to Being Authentic Without Scaring People Away

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Team Dynamics: Extremes That Harm Teamwork People Skills

Team Dynamics: Image is stormy waters on rocks.

Team Dynamics: 5 Extremes That Harm Interaction & People Skills

Image by Daniele Berlucci via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Team Dynamics: Eliminate These 5 Extremes for Great Interaction

  1. Labels and fixed definitions. Sometimes team members thinking gets stuck on labels and fixed definitions. As teams try to innovate and deal with change, individuals who think literally or hold on to their fixed definitions unsettle team dynamics. Example: I wrote a blog post, Holacracy: Why Employees Like Hierarchy, and two people lectured me on how I didn’t understand holacracy. They were stuck on a fixed definition of holacracy and couldn’t see past it. If they did that to their colleagues in a team meeting, you can imagine the tension between those who were stuck in their definition and those who wanted to explore the topic.
  2. Gotcha behavior. Leaders and team members who revel in pointing out others’ mistakes damage trust. Some even go so far as to set people up to see if they make mistakes. If they do, the gotcha gang points out their errors. They then take credit for educating them. Trust and team dynamics suffer.
  3. Sidelines driving. Picture one team member handling a difficult situation. Other team members who are not directly involved criticize from the sidelines. Share your knowledge but don’t tell others what to do. It’s not just what you say that matters — it’s how you say it. Team up don’t gang up!
  4. Hearing either/or when it doesn’t exist. Team interaction thrives on great listening. When team members hear and think either/or when others are not saying it, it harms team dynamics. Example: In a Twitter #DareToBe chat on curiosity, I tweeted “self-reliance fuels a curious mind.”

    Someone responded directly to me, “I respectfully disagree. Collaboration feeds curiosity, helps it grow, deepens questioning.” Interesting comment. I never said, “self-reliance, alone, fuels a curious mind.” She heard an either/or that I never implied. I believe there are many things that fuel curiosity and I nicely tweeted that back to her.

  5. Absolutes and know-it-all behavior. Rigid team members who insist that their views or positions are right damage team dynamics and results. Their behavior is the opposite of teamwork. Great listening and adaptability is the hallmark of positive team dynamics.

How can leaders help teams prevent or minimize these extremes? Invest time in having the team define positive team behaviors. Discuss what to do if extremes develop. Use team role plays to help each team member become more accountable for their own extremes and self-correct them. I would be pleased to deliver these sessions and work with your teams on positive team dynamics.

Your turn: What other extreme behaviors damage interaction and team dynamics?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
11 Steps to Be Authentic & Not Scare People Away
Leadership: 18 Things Respected Well-Liked Leaders Consistently Do

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

People Skills Image: Do People See You as Open-Minded or Argumentative?

Questions open communication. They unearth expectations. They minimize conflict while working through disagreements. They can make you seem open-minded and highly interested. That’s a great people skills image.

Questions can also make you seem argumentative and always contrary. What makes the difference?

People Skills Image: Image is picture of question marks.

People Skills Image: Argumentative vs Probing. Image by Valerie Everett via Flickr.

Image by Valerie Everett via Flickr Creative Commons License.

People Skills Image: Open-minded vs. Argumentative & Contrary

  1. Open-minds ask open-ended questions. Who, what, when, how explore others’ views. Argumentative questions load to one position. “Don’t you think” vs. “What do you think.”
  2. Open-minds know when not to ask questions. There are times to let people talk without questioning them for details. They may be upset and need to vent. They may be overwhelmed and trying to talk it out. Not asking questions at that moment honors their needs. Else you seem argumentative and insensitive — not a good people skills image.
  3. Open-minds love to question and discover new views that change theirs. They seek clarity and possibilities vs. being right. “Where can you take me and/or where can we go together?”
  4. Open-minds show interest. Argumentative/contrary questions say “prove it to me.” How you word “why” questions makes the difference. For example, “I’m interested to know why” shows interest. “Why do you think this?” often sounds argumentative and judgmental. Not so great a people skills image.
  5. Open-minds sometimes agree. Argumentative and contrary almost always raise the opposing view. Do you know people like this? They may even pride themselves on being that way. Yet it distances them from others and grows old quickly. It can be very damaging to a career! The people skills image and message is arrogance and disconnect.

Results require open-minded relationships. Asking for feedback and reflecting on how you come across to others is a simple and powerful way to refine your people skills and sustain great relationships. It impacts teamwork, collaboration, leadership, employee engagement, and customer experience.

What open-ended questions have expanded your view? Where can I take you?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Leaders, Don’t Mislabel All Issues as Personality Conflict

Leaders who are averse to conflict, quickly mislabel interaction issues as — just a personality conflict.

It’s one of those feel good denial reactions that creates additional problems. Mislabelling it as a personality conflict ignites hidden resentments. It also fails miserably as it overlooks the true issues to be resolved. That’s not to say that a personality conflict can’t arise. It can.

Yet there are many other causes of interaction difficulty. People may have different definitions of team and teamwork. There may be low trust or little respect. It’s important to determine the true causes instead of writing it all off to just a personality conflict.

Mislabelled Personality Conflict: Image is cracked eggs.

Not all trouble is a personality conflict. Image by Quinn Dumbrowski

Image by: Quinn Dombrowski via Flickr Creative Commons License.


An Illustration

A new leader (Bill) joined the leadership team. He has 5 peers and each oversees a different department. They and their teams must interact to deliver a wow customer experience. During the first week, Bill makes many demands on the peer he interacts with the most (Pat). He ultimately says to Pat, “I always get my way.”

When Pat requests a more team based approach, Bill takes offense. The high level leader (Lee) meets with Bill and Pat and says, “you two are having a personality conflict.”

Lee made a big mistake. He lost Pat’s trust that day. Assuming that two people who are having a conflict are having a personality conflict solves nothing. It also makes the leader (Lee) look weak and illogical.

What to Do Instead?

  • Establish and Honor a Baseline. Leaders who engage everyone in developing effective baseline behaviors pave the road to success. In today’s culturally diverse workplace, discussions expand understanding and prevent lots of conflicts. Once people establish baseline behaviors, it’s much easier to see errant behavior from a personality conflict.

    Important baseline behaviors to discuss:

    1. Behaviors for shared spaces
    2. Rules on texting during important meetings
    3. Acceptable ways to disagree and discuss strong views
    4. Handling aggressive and passive aggressive behavior

  • Dig to Discover. If the interaction issues in question are not errant behaviors, then find out what’s happening. To do this well, leaders must promise those who speak up that they will not be punished or minimized for the information they offer.

    It works well to have everyone involved to say what they are experiencing and what they would like to experience instead. This prevents gripe fests and discovers workable solutions.

  • Follow-through. Even if you are using HR or outside consultants to help you through this, leaders must stay involved. It is your expectation of improvement and your follow-through that bolsters employees’ commitment. Interaction affects the bottom line.

    Don’t just delegate this to someone and turn away. Assess, inspire, and stay involved.

Risks to Mislabeling Issues as Personality Conflict



  • Divisiveness. When leaders skip over discovering the trouble, the trouble persists. Un-addressed issues fester and feed frustration. Resentment grows as the leaders replace the truth with their assumptions of a personality conflict.
  • Mistrust and disrespect. Employees tap leaders for their insight, objectivity, strength, and honesty. When leaders tap dance around the issue instead of thinking it through, people lose trust and respect for those leaders. The loss of trust lingers and impacts the organization’s results.
  • Self-protection. When someone raises an issue about interaction problems and the leaders quickly pass it off as personality conflict, people think they are being punished for speaking up. After that, those who raised the issues go into self-protection mode. They block the open mindset needed for resolution and organizational success.
  • Weakened Core Values. The modern workplace is sustained with core values of respect, honesty, truth, and accountability. When leaders twist any situation into something it isn’t, it undermines interaction that could otherwise keep the organization moving forward. Whether it’s leader to leader, employee to employee, or leader and employee, discovering the true issues and addressing them appropriately secures the core values of success.




Most everyone can see the value in positive workplace interaction. What some leaders don’t see is that they play a key role in sustaining it through their accurate assessment. This doesn’t mean you are babysitting — a metaphor often misapplied in these moments. You are leading!

There is even evidence to show that employees leave jobs because of mislabelled un-addressed interpersonal issues that have made work intolerable. In the end, leaders who invest in sustaining the core values of interaction inspire collaboration and fuel success.

What other workplace behaviors is it valuable to discuss?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
18 Things Respected Well-Liked Leaders Consistently Do
Leadership to Reverse a Hostile Workplace
Tapping the Profitable Secrets of Personality Types

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Diverse Workplace Collaboration: JOIN us in #Peopleskills chat and share your views.

WHEN: Sunday March 29, 2015 at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills

Background on This Chat Topic: Diverse Workplace Collaboration

Just how tough is collaboration? Do we grow up knowing how or learning how to do it? Or perhaps it’s something that some people love to do and others don’t. Yet when they get into the workforce, collaboration seems to be required. Very few people do all their tasks alone! JOIN our #Peopleskills Twitter chat this Sunday to explore diverse workplace collaboration!

My special co-host on this topic is Jon Mertz. leadership consultant and author of Activate Leadership: Aspen Truths to Empower Millennial Leaders. Jon’s contribution to cross-generational productivity is extensive and his social media presence shares that expertise across many platforms. You can read his blog posts and tap his expertise at ThinDifference.com.

Diverse Workplace Collaboration: Image is People skills logo

Diverse Workplace Collaboration: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Diverse Workplace Collaboration: How to Make It Stronger!

Many people connect. Do they truly collaborate especially when they have different perspectives? JOIN us in #Peopleskills global Twitter chat to explore diverse workplace collaboration.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

  • Many connect; not everyone collaborates. What’s the difference?
  • What makes a person suited for collaboration?
  • What sparks and sustains diverse workplace collaboration?
  • How do you prevent or manage conflict in collaboration?
  • How does collaboration make a difference in the workplace?
  • What people skills breed more than connection — in other words collaboration?
  • OPINION: Is it tough to collaborate with people who are different from you? Why/why not?
  • What skills do you need to collaborate when you can’t be together in the same place?
  • What group dynamics change when collaborators have different perspectives?
  • If diverse generations openly collaborate in trust, what will the next 10 years look like at work?
  • How can leaders create a collaborative culture with so much diversity in the workplace?
  • Why do some leaders not promote collaboration?

So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join me and the people skills global chat community this Sunday March 29, 2015 on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to diverse workplace collaboration.

I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.

Shout Out of Gratitude

Special thanks to my co-host this week Jon Mertz. My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, and LinkedIn. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your individual insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer, Jandis Price and Tom Rhodes for their time and insightful contributions.





Hope you will all join People Skills Global Chat on Twitter #peopleskills this Sunday March 29, 2015 10am EDT/7am PDT to diverse workplace collaboration.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.





TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.

Chat with you this Sun. March 29, 2015 10am EDT in People Skills Global Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) TOPIC: Diverse Workplace Collaboration.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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