Teamwork

Teamwork Persona: Will Others Want to Work With You?

Colonel Pamela Melroy, former NASA space shuttle commander, recently asked a very telling people skills question during her career mentoring talks at the space and science festival on the Intrepid Museum.



Are you someone others would want to spend two years with?


Young adults in school, new entrants into the workplace, or experienced workers changing careers, often overlook this question. They focus on developing occupational skills. Yet the people skills and team skills are the aspects that answer Colonel Melroy’s question. It took more than science smarts to be in space with others.


Teamwork Persona: Image is teammates working on a creative project.

Teamwork Persona: Are You Someone Others Want to Work With? Image by Creative Sustainability via Flickr.

Image by Creative Sustainability via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Teamwork Persona: Are You Someone Others Will Want to Work With?

Start developing your teamwork persona early on and never stop. Your people skills and teamwork skills determine if others want to spend time with you. Here’s a checklist to guide you.

  1. Flexibility and affability. What behaviors do you exhibit that make it easy to get along with you? What traits or behaviors will you develop to make it even easier?

  2. Reliability. Do you bring all your talents and abilities to work every single day? Do you shine or retreat in tough times?

  3. Honesty not bluntness. Do you communicate with honesty and care? Are you straightforward without being blunt? Your teamwork persona will attract others when you are easy to understand without being hurtful.

  4. Collaboration. How do you react to this word? Do you want to scream out, “I’m highly competitive!” If you did, would others want you on their team? Something to think about.

  5. Confidence not arrogance. How do you come across? Teammates want your confidence. It lightens the load. They don’t want your arrogance. It increases the load. Make a list of behaviors that you believe express confidence and those that show arrogance. Ask others how you come across. Work on the first list and eliminate the second! This is how you improve your teamwork persona.

  6. Moderation of extremes. Most everyone has some extreme behaviors. It could be habits you’ve developed or traits that have evolved. The key question is: Can you moderate them so they don’t burden others?

  7. Courage and humility. Work requires both depending on the situation. When pressure mounts, how do you act? When conditions require some restraint, can you do that well?

  8. Respect. Showing respect to and for others is essential to a great teamwork persona. It is the basis for all teamwork.

  9. Integrity. The ultimate factor in whether people will want to work with you. Trust is everything.


Developing your occupational skills is the normal career path. Developing your teamwork persona will lead to incredible career success. Start now!



What would you add to this teamwork persona checklist?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
21 Reasons People Don’t Get Along at Work
5 Extremes That Harm Teamwork
Moderation Doesn’t Mean Mediocrity

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.



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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Be Treated Respectfully: How to Respond to Disrespect

What would you say to someone who is disrespecting you? How would you respond to pushy people who show no consideration for your view?

Would you take offense, get angry, and tell them off? Would you say nothing and simmer in anger? Would you walk away and avoid them in the future? There is a better way.



Be Treated Respectfully: Image is hand up in front of the sun.

Be Treated Respectfully: Set Limits w/ Pushy People Image by: _RedHeat

Image by _RedHeat via Flickr Creative Commons License.


How to Set Limits on Disrespect & Be Treated Respectfully

There are many ways to behave in the face of disrespect. In one off interactions, you might ignore it realizing you will never see that person again. You value your serenity and believe in yourself so why bother with it.

Yet when it happens with people you will be around frequently, ignoring disrespect can undermine healthy relationships. You overlook it, remain silent and one day your anger erupts when you’ve had enough. The offender then says “why didn’t you tell me sooner?”



To respond to disrespect and be treated respectfully …

  1. Calmly and firmly say: “Stop. You will not speak to me that way” or “Stop. Please do not speak to me that way.”
  2. Continue with: “I show you basic respect. I ask the same in return.”


If the offender is your boss at work and you cannot respond this way, calmly say: “You have my full attention even without yelling. I am actually more productive that way.” It’s respectful; it communicates commitment; it educates them on your needs.

In both instances you have a dual purpose: Set limits and be treated respectfully. The bonus is that you help others see beyond their own needs. Picture this image of mutual respect and communicate with calm confidence.



Be Treated Respectfully: Image is handshake.

Be Treated Respectfully: Image by Casa Thomas Jefferson via Flickr.

Image by Casa Thomas Jefferson via Flickr Creative Commons License


Confident communication is key to being treated respectfully. Initially the offenders may claim you took it the wrong way. Others may apologize to you and thank you for telling them (yes it does happen). Either way, you have set limits by showing respect for yourself and them — not by yelling. It works.




What successes have you had in setting limits? Please share with us!



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Are You Brutally Blunt or Helpfully Honest
The Perfect Apology and the ONE Word That Destroys It
11 Steps to Being Authentic Without Scaring People Away

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.


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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Team Dynamics: Extremes That Harm Teamwork People Skills


Team Dynamics: Image is stormy waters on rocks.

Team Dynamics: 5 Extremes That Harm Interaction & People Skills

Image by Daniele Berlucci via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Team Dynamics: Eliminate These 5 Extremes for Great Interaction

  1. Labels and fixed definitions. Sometimes team members thinking gets stuck on labels and fixed definitions. As teams try to innovate and deal with change, individuals who think literally or hold on to their fixed definitions unsettle team dynamics. Example: I wrote a blog post, Holacracy: Why Employees Like Hierarchy, and two people lectured me on how I didn’t understand holacracy. They were stuck on a fixed definition of holacracy and couldn’t see past it. If they did that to their colleagues in a team meeting, you can imagine the tension between those who were stuck in their definition and those who wanted to explore the topic.

  2. Gotcha behavior. Leaders and team members who revel in pointing out others’ mistakes damage trust. Some even go so far as to set people up to see if they make mistakes. If they do, the gotcha gang points out their errors. They then take credit for educating them. Trust and team dynamics suffer.

  3. Sidelines driving. Picture one team member handling a difficult situation. Other team members who are not directly involved criticize from the sidelines. Share your knowledge but don’t tell others what to do. It’s not just what you say that matters — it’s how you say it. Team up don’t gang up!


  4. Hearing either/or when it doesn’t exist. Team interaction thrives on great listening. When team members hear and think either/or when others are not saying it, it harms team dynamics. Example: In a Twitter #DareToBe chat on curiosity, I tweeted “self-reliance fuels a curious mind.”

    Someone responded directly to me, “I respectfully disagree. Collaboration feeds curiosity, helps it grow, deepens questioning.” Interesting comment. I never said, “self-reliance, alone, fuels a curious mind.” She heard an either/or that I never implied. I believe there are many things that fuel curiosity and I nicely tweeted that back to her.


  5. Absolutes and know-it-all behavior. Rigid team members who insist that their views or positions are right damage team dynamics and results. Their behavior is the opposite of teamwork. Great listening and adaptability is the hallmark of positive team dynamics.



How can leaders help teams prevent or minimize these extremes? Invest time in having the team define positive team behaviors. Discuss what to do if extremes develop. Use team role plays to help each team member become more accountable for their own extremes and self-correct them. I would be pleased to deliver these sessions and work with your teams on positive team dynamics.


Your turn: What other extreme behaviors damage interaction and team dynamics?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
11 Steps to Be Authentic & Not Scare People Away
Leadership: 18 Things Respected Well-Liked Leaders Consistently Do

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.


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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

People Skills Image: Do People See You as Open-Minded or Argumentative?

Questions open communication. They unearth expectations. They minimize conflict while working through disagreements. They can make you seem open-minded and highly interested. That’s a great people skills image.

Questions can also make you seem argumentative and always contrary. What makes the difference?



People Skills Image: Image is picture of question marks.

People Skills Image: Argumentative vs Probing. Image by Valerie Everett via Flickr.

Image by Valerie Everett via Flickr Creative Commons License.



People Skills Image: Open-minded vs. Argumentative & Contrary

  1. Open-minds ask open-ended questions. Who, what, when, how explore others’ views. Argumentative questions load to one position. “Don’t you think” vs. “What do you think.”

  2. Open-minds know when not to ask questions. There are times to let people talk without questioning them for details. They may be upset and need to vent. They may be overwhelmed and trying to talk it out. Not asking questions at that moment honors their needs. Else you seem argumentative and insensitive — not a good people skills image.

  3. Open-minds love to question and discover new views that change theirs. They seek clarity and possibilities vs. being right. “Where can you take me and/or where can we go together?”

  4. Open-minds show interest. Argumentative/contrary questions say “prove it to me.” How you word “why” questions makes the difference. For example, “I’m interested to know why” shows interest. “Why do you think this?” often sounds argumentative and judgmental. Not so great a people skills image.

  5. Open-minds sometimes agree. Argumentative and contrary almost always raise the opposing view. Do you know people like this? They may even pride themselves on being that way. Yet it distances them from others and grows old quickly. It can be very damaging to a career! The people skills image and message is arrogance and disconnect.


Results require open-minded relationships. Asking for feedback and reflecting on how you come across to others is a simple and powerful way to refine your people skills and sustain great relationships. It impacts teamwork, collaboration, leadership, employee engagement, and customer experience.




What open-ended questions have expanded your view? Where can I take you?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Leaders, Don’t Mislabel All Issues as Personality Conflict

Leaders who are averse to conflict, quickly mislabel interaction issues as — just a personality conflict.

It’s one of those feel good denial reactions that creates additional problems. Mislabelling it as a personality conflict ignites hidden resentments. It also fails miserably as it overlooks the true issues to be resolved. That’s not to say that a personality conflict can’t arise. It can.

Yet there are many other causes of interaction difficulty. People may have different definitions of team and teamwork. There may be low trust or little respect. It’s important to determine the true causes instead of writing it all off to just a personality conflict.



Mislabelled Personality Conflict: Image is cracked eggs.

Not all trouble is a personality conflict. Image by Quinn Dumbrowski

Image by: Quinn Dombrowski via Flickr Creative Commons License.



An Illustration

A new leader (Bill) joined the leadership team. He has 5 peers and each oversees a different department. They and their teams must interact to deliver a wow customer experience. During the first week, Bill makes many demands on the peer he interacts with the most (Pat). He ultimately says to Pat, “I always get my way.”

When Pat requests a more team based approach, Bill takes offense. The high level leader (Lee) meets with Bill and Pat and says, “you two are having a personality conflict.”


Lee made a big mistake. He lost Pat’s trust that day. Assuming that two people who are having a conflict are having a personality conflict solves nothing. It also makes the leader (Lee) look weak and illogical.



What to Do Instead?

  • Establish and Honor a Baseline. Leaders who engage everyone in developing effective baseline behaviors pave the road to success. In today’s culturally diverse workplace, discussions expand understanding and prevent lots of conflicts. Once people establish baseline behaviors, it’s much easier to see errant behavior from a personality conflict.

    Important baseline behaviors to discuss:

    1. Behaviors for shared spaces
    2. Rules on texting during important meetings
    3. Acceptable ways to disagree and discuss strong views
    4. Handling aggressive and passive aggressive behavior


  • Dig to Discover. If the interaction issues in question are not errant behaviors, then find out what’s happening. To do this well, leaders must promise those who speak up that they will not be punished or minimized for the information they offer.

    It works well to have everyone involved to say what they are experiencing and what they would like to experience instead. This prevents gripe fests and discovers workable solutions.



  • Follow-through. Even if you are using HR or outside consultants to help you through this, leaders must stay involved. It is your expectation of improvement and your follow-through that bolsters employees’ commitment. Interaction affects the bottom line.

    Don’t just delegate this to someone and turn away. Assess, inspire, and stay involved.


Risks to Mislabeling Issues as Personality Conflict



  • Divisiveness. When leaders skip over discovering the trouble, the trouble persists. Un-addressed issues fester and feed frustration. Resentment grows as the leaders replace the truth with their assumptions of a personality conflict.


  • Mistrust and disrespect. Employees tap leaders for their insight, objectivity, strength, and honesty. When leaders tap dance around the issue instead of thinking it through, people lose trust and respect for those leaders. The loss of trust lingers and impacts the organization’s results.

  • Self-protection. When someone raises an issue about interaction problems and the leaders quickly pass it off as personality conflict, people think they are being punished for speaking up. After that, those who raised the issues go into self-protection mode. They block the open mindset needed for resolution and organizational success.

  • Weakened Core Values. The modern workplace is sustained with core values of respect, honesty, truth, and accountability. When leaders twist any situation into something it isn’t, it undermines interaction that could otherwise keep the organization moving forward. Whether it’s leader to leader, employee to employee, or leader and employee, discovering the true issues and addressing them appropriately secures the core values of success.





Most everyone can see the value in positive workplace interaction. What some leaders don’t see is that they play a key role in sustaining it through their accurate assessment. This doesn’t mean you are babysitting — a metaphor often misapplied in these moments. You are leading!

There is even evidence to show that employees leave jobs because of mislabelled un-addressed interpersonal issues that have made work intolerable. In the end, leaders who invest in sustaining the core values of interaction inspire collaboration and fuel success.


What other workplace behaviors is it valuable to discuss?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
18 Things Respected Well-Liked Leaders Consistently Do
Leadership to Reverse a Hostile Workplace
Tapping the Profitable Secrets of Personality Types

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.




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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Diverse Workplace Collaboration: JOIN us in #Peopleskills chat and share your views.

WHEN: Sunday March 29, 2015 at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Background on This Chat Topic: Diverse Workplace Collaboration

Just how tough is collaboration? Do we grow up knowing how or learning how to do it? Or perhaps it’s something that some people love to do and others don’t. Yet when they get into the workforce, collaboration seems to be required. Very few people do all their tasks alone! JOIN our #Peopleskills Twitter chat this Sunday to explore diverse workplace collaboration!

My special co-host on this topic is Jon Mertz. leadership consultant and author of Activate Leadership: Aspen Truths to Empower Millennial Leaders. Jon’s contribution to cross-generational productivity is extensive and his social media presence shares that expertise across many platforms. You can read his blog posts and tap his expertise at ThinDifference.com.



Diverse Workplace Collaboration: Image is People skills logo

Diverse Workplace Collaboration: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Diverse Workplace Collaboration: How to Make It Stronger!

Many people connect. Do they truly collaborate especially when they have different perspectives? JOIN us in #Peopleskills global Twitter chat to explore diverse workplace collaboration.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

  • Many connect; not everyone collaborates. What’s the difference?
  • What makes a person suited for collaboration?
  • What sparks and sustains diverse workplace collaboration?
  • How do you prevent or manage conflict in collaboration?
  • How does collaboration make a difference in the workplace?
  • What people skills breed more than connection — in other words collaboration?
  • OPINION: Is it tough to collaborate with people who are different from you? Why/why not?
  • What skills do you need to collaborate when you can’t be together in the same place?
  • What group dynamics change when collaborators have different perspectives?
  • If diverse generations openly collaborate in trust, what will the next 10 years look like at work?
  • How can leaders create a collaborative culture with so much diversity in the workplace?
  • Why do some leaders not promote collaboration?


So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join me and the people skills global chat community this Sunday March 29, 2015 on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to diverse workplace collaboration.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

Special thanks to my co-host this week Jon Mertz. My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, and LinkedIn. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your individual insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer, Jandis Price and Tom Rhodes for their time and insightful contributions.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Chat on Twitter #peopleskills this Sunday March 29, 2015 10am EDT/7am PDT to diverse workplace collaboration.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. March 29, 2015 10am EDT in People Skills Global Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) TOPIC: Diverse Workplace Collaboration.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Teamwork Productivity: Why Can’t Everyone Automatically Get Along?


Leaders call me when they want teamwork productivity to improve. Their frustration pours out in the question:


Why can’t people just get along and stop the petty squabbles?”



Teamwork Productivity: Image is two chess pieces facing off.

Teamwork Productivity: 21 Reasons People Can’t Automatically Get Along Image by Juan Ignacio Sanchez Lara


Image by Juan Ignacio Sánchez Lara via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Teamwork Productivity: 21 Reasons Why Employees Can’t Just Get Along

There are many reasons why employees can’t automatically get along.

  1. They have different personality types and don’t know how to adapt or don’t want to.
  2. They feel overrun by mavericks on the team who don’t collaborate.
  3. Their low emotional intelligence keeps squabbles alive.
  4. Respect is low
  5. Trust is low.
  6. They have different personal career goals.
  7. They come from different cultures and with different mores.
  8. They are competing for a limited number of promotional opportunities.
  9. They have different habits which drive each other crazy.
  10. They have different definitions of team and teamwork.
  11. Teams goals and acceptable team behaviors aren’t clear.
  12. They have old baggage that affects today’s behavior.
  13. They slow or stop interacting to avoid conflict.
  14. There is bullying going on that you haven’t addressed or don’t even know about.
  15. They don’t know how to disagree in a productive way. Instead, they express thoughts and emotions in an aggressive way.
  16. Some who seem to work harder resent those who seem to work less.
  17. There are some team members who give orders to others instead of asking. “Get me those numbers right away!” This lowers teamwork productivity.
  18. You have a blame culture and people are pulling back to avoid failure.
  19. Change agents who are innovating are disrespecting past and current efforts. People take offense and interaction suffers. (FYI: You don’t have to demean the past to create the future.)
  20. Leaders aren’t forthright about upcoming changes and the rumor mill reduces teamwork and productivity.
  21. Leaders don’t express appreciation and recognition for employees’ work and talents so they don’t express it to each other. Low inspiration = low engagement and teamwork productivity.


When employees ask you, the leader, to help with these struggles, telling them to work it out themselves or stop complaining makes matters worse. If they could, they would.

Delegating it to someone else to handle won’t settle matters either.




What Does Work?

  • Ask, listen, and explore options. Involve the teams in making things better.
  • Redefine teamwork. Most leaders and teams are still defining it as a group of people working toward common goals and results. And you see where that’s gotten you. A team actually is: people growing, changing, and adapting to reach a shared success. If you don’t include growing, changing, adapting in your definition of a team, people work on common goals purely from their own style and view. You then end up on the list of 21 troubles.
  • As a leader, increase your emotional self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Leadership is about inspiring and influencing others. This creates a better work environment and minimizes the 21 troubles.
  • Tap outside help. Independent team builders bring specialized expertise, fresh perspectives, objectivity, and the ability to say things that insiders can’t risk saying.


Most importantly, don’t let these troubles fester. Although you can’t prevent all of them, you can address interaction troubles as they surface. Left alone, these struggles become long held grudges with insurmountable barriers.




In your experience, what else stops people from working well together?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Teamwork Productivity: 5 Essentials to Build 21st Century Teams
Modern Leadership & Teamwork: Be Selfless Not Faceless
18 Things Respected Well-Liked Leaders Consistently Do
One Giant Communication Blunder & One Easy Fix

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Bluntness Checklist: 7 Steps From Brutally Blunt to Helpfully Honest

We all benefit when we communicate honestly and clearly. It minimizes confusion and speeds success. Yet there is a big difference between being brutally blunt vs. honest and clear.





Here’s a 7 step bluntness checklist to get you easily from blunt to honest.



Bluntness Checklist: Image is a square-headed comic figure

Bluntness Checklist:7 Steps from Brutally Blunt to Helpfully Honest

Image by: Nomadic Lass via Flickr Creative Commons License.



Bluntness Checklist: 7 Steps From Brutally Blunt to Helpfully Honest

How do you want people to feel when you are communicating? Bruised and battered? Clear and uplifted?

What image do they have of you when you are communicating? Do they see you as emotionally intelligent and honest or brutally blunt?

This bluntness checklist is an emotionally intelligent guide.



    #1 Honor people as well as your purpose and message.

      Much of the bluntness comes from focusing purely on the message you want to deliver. Oddly enough, it makes the message less clear because your emotion packed statement blocks listening.

      Before speaking, ask yourself what impact your words will have on others. Honesty without honoring the human comes out as blunt. This is why honor heads up the bluntness checklist. Be honest with care not blunt with emotion.



    #2 Openness to other possibilities makes you less blunt.

      What you say is rarely an absolute fact. There are perspective, conditions, opinions, other possibilities to consider. When you communicate from this belief, you are more likely to have an honest dialogue with people instead of a blunt monologue.




    #3 Never start a sentence with the word “you” in difficult situations.

      Imagine saying, “You aren’t doing your job” or “You are failing badly.” Starting with “you” comes across as a blunt attack and breeds a defensive reply.

      Instead, start with “We expect _______ and this is what you are doing _______. Let’s talk about changes _________.” Now the person can hear your message with specifics on what to change.



    #4 Emotion in negative situations will come out as brutally blunt.

      First say, “Let’s put aside my emotion for a moment” and then communicate. It shows the other person you want to speak honestly without insulting them. If some of it comes out blunt, at least they will know you are trying.

      However, do not use this intro as a justification for being blunt. It doesn’t work. More of your words must honor with honesty than bruise with bluntness.



    #5 Sense of proportion reduces the brutality.

      Bluntness, by definition, is the extreme of communication. Bluntness is emotion packed. Ask yourself, why must I use this extreme and inflict scars? What words, with better proportion, can clearly communicate my message?



    #6 Timing and tone of voice transform results.

      When some people read the word timing, they assume delay. Although you might choose to delay speaking, there are times you can’t or shouldn’t. Yet timing also means the pace of your speech.

      The faster you speak in tough moments, the more brutal it sounds. Meanwhile, speaking too slowly or softly can sound patronizing.

      A normal even pace of speech communicates honesty avoids bluntness. This is why timing is on the bluntness checklist.



    #7 Yes. Thinking “agreement” makes you less blunt.

      Insults rarely produce a yes. Helpful honesty does. If you want to influence, think yes. Replace negative emotion with positive desire — what you want vs. what you don’t want. It transforms your communication from hurtful and blunt to honest and positive.

      Even if agreement is not your goal, think “yes” and your words will be more helpfully honest not brutally blunt.






Respect is the key to being honest vs. blunt. It allows you to honor people as well as your own message. If you disagree, state your view with calmness and respect for others.

The question people often ask me: Are there people with whom you must be brutally blunt? No. I have met people who don’t understand subtle communication. In those moments, I was more direct not brutally blunt. I still respected them. I communicated honestly not bluntly.


This 7 step bluntness checklist will transform any blunt communication into helpful honesty. It’s worth it!





What extra steps are on your bluntness checklist?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
People Skills: 9 Hidden Places to Discover Your Empathy
Emotional Intelligence: 10 Ways to Work w/ Immature Teammates

©2011-2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

People Skills Success Radar: 9 Hidden Places to Find Your Empathy

It takes great people skills to succeed in business and it takes empathy to have great people skills. Have you discovered the full extent of your empathy? Without empathy — understanding and feeling what others are feeling — you fail to build trust and true connection.



People Skills Success Discover Your Empathy: Image is a humanoid w/ binoculars

People Skills Success Radar: Discover Your Empathy. Image licensed from Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com.

People Skills Success Radar: 9 Hidden Places to Find Your Empathy

Find your empathy to lead and engage employees, work with teammates, collaborate on projects, and succeed with customers. Give it even in the toughest moments. Your people skills success radar will help you find it.



Here is where empathy often hides:

  1. In what you are afraid to be. When people want to be seen as tough and strong, empathy hides to protect that image. Release and give your empathy. It shows that you are truly secure in who you are and confident enough to care for others. Inner strength is your billboard not fake toughness.



  2. In what you never received. Your empathy hides behind your unconscious scar of not receiving any. Find your empathy there and give it to others. It is the best way to get empathy and remove your scar.


  3. In the fear of failure. When people are afraid they will fail, they sometimes focus too much on themselves. Their fear hides their empathy. Uncover your empathy to uncover people skills success in business.


  4. In the myth that empathy makes others weak. Feeling what others feel doesn’t make them weak. Connection lifts people up. Your empathy makes them stronger as you light another way to success.


  5. In a logical focus. People who find comfort in logic — and discomfort in feelings — bury their empathy underneath analysis. Dig it up. Empathize before you analyze. It doesn’t bury you in feelings. Empathy is the connection before the solution. It is the secret to people skills success.



  6. Behind a wall of mistrust. When people are stung by an emotional manipulator, they sometimes put up walls to future connection. They don’t want to empathize and be stung by anyone again. Don’t hide your pain behind the wall. Call the stingers what they are — stinkers! Then share your empathy with the rest of the wonderful caring people in your world. Otherwise, the stinkers hide your people skills success behind the wall forever.


  7. In the wrong definition of empathy. Empathy doesn’t mean you agree with others. It simply says: “You matter, we matter, this matters, let’s find a solution.” You can empathize with someone’s feelings and yet not agree with their reasoning, conclusion, or solution. Share your empathy first to help them see a different view.


  8. In a judgmental ego. “I told you so” and “Everything that happened to you is your own fault” scream out your weakness. Quite ironic since these statements attempt to focus on others’ weakness! Silence your judgmental ego w/ a more powerful force — empathy. Then watch the magical power of connection bring you success.



  9. In a vengeful spirit. If you live a get even life, your empathy and success have difficulty living there too. And few will want to be there with you. Employees, colleagues, teammates, and definitely customers will keep their distance. Replace vengeance with forgiveness and move forward. Your empathy — not vengeance — will bring you people skills success.


Work and live the most basic human truth, success comes through connection. Empathy brings the magical power of connection to life. Find and share your empathy for people skills success.



What would you add to the list above? Is there a #10?



Let’s explore empathy in workshops with your teams and boost teamwork and business success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
People Skills Philosophy 4 Keys to Agility & Success in Business
What Happens When Tough Leaders Show Empathy?

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Vigilance and Optimism – People Skills global Twitter chat topic.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Feb 1st, 2015 on Twitter at 10AM ET. Hashtag: #peopleskills


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Vigilance and Optimism – Opposites or Valuable Partners?

Join us Sunday Feb. 1st 10am ET to explore the balance of vigilance and optimism. Vigilance about impending trouble is sometimes seen as the enemy of optimism — hopefulness about the future. When this happens, people often frizzle in disagreement, resist each others’ views, or even avoid each other. As a human interaction consultant, I’ve seen it over and over.

That led me to to putting vigilance and optimism on the people skills chat schedule. Joining me as co-host is Dr. Hoda Maalouf, university professor with an incredible passion for human development, learning, and a peaceful world.


Vigilance and optimism: Image is People skills logo

Vigilance and optimism: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Vigilance and Optimism – Where’s the Balance?

If you keep your ears, eyes, and mind alert for trouble, does that mean you are a negative naysayer? Or is it a sign of wisdom — the way to make an optimistic view come to fruition? There are many different views on this. Thus we will explore vigilance and optimism in #Peopleskills global Twitter chat. JOIN us!

Here are some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • In your view, what is optimism? What is vigilance?
  • Can optimism and vigilance co-exist? Y/N Why?
  • What are the benefits of each?
  • Optimistic people live more satisfying lives. Agree/Disagree Why?
  • “Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.” Agree/Disagree. Impact?
  • What object/image comes to your mind that represents vigilance and optimism in harmony?
  • How can we balance vigilance and optimism if at all?
  • If you had to choose, would you rather work for a highly vigilant leader or a very optimistic leader? Why?
  • Are you vigilant, optimistic, or ________________________?
  • How does foresight and hindsight affect your view of vigilance and optimism?
  • How do great leaders use optimism and/or vigilance to lead well?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.


Bring your experience, curiosity, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday Feb. 1st 10am ET to offer your views on vigilance and optimism.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

Special thanks to Dr. Hoda Maalouf for co-hosting this topic with me!

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer, Jandis Price and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join people skills global Twitter chat (#peopleskills) this Sunday Feb. 1st 2015, 10am ET/7am PT on vigilance and optimism.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. Feb. 1st, 2015, in #peopleskills global Twitter chat 10am ET on vigilance and optimism.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Personality Types: Tapping the Profitable Secrets

Behind the labels of personality types lie the secrets to more profitable leadership and teamwork.

Workplace leaders often assess team member personality types — amiable, expressive, analytic, driver. If leaders stop there, these results become inactive labels of little value. As I work with leaders and their teams, I highlight the profitable secrets of personality types.


Personality Types: Image is a toy safe w/ door open and coins.

The Profitable Leadership & Team Secrets of Personality Types

Image licensed from Istock.com

Secrets of Personality Types

Personality types impact employee engagement and commitment, understanding and outcomes. In times of great change, personality types can block or feed success.



Personality Types & Employee Engagement

  1. Amiable personality types come alive through personal connection. If you want to tap the profit they can bring to the business, bond with them personally. You do not have to be their best friends yet if you skip the bonding you skip the profit. A just the facts approach makes them feel lonely and demoralized. In today’s world of virtual teams, remember to connect with amiable types face to face or video conference for a winning solution!

  2. Expressive personality types shine in and through communication. Two-way communication, a critical skill of any good leader, brings these people to full contribution. If you are fast paced and minimize communication, these expressive types feel shunned. You are leaving the profit they bring by the wayside.

  3. Analytic personality types work with ordered thought. They have much to contribute if you allow for some ordered discussion. If you are brainstorming, take a small pause to capture the analytic’s ideas. If you are a very creative leader, summarize your thoughts in an ordered manner after your creativity. If you skip the order, you leave analytic types frustrated and the value they can provide, untapped.

  4. Driver personality types crave end results and achievement. Give them the big picture, highlight critical milestones and risks, and then let them deliver the results. If you micro-manage them or demand they focus on every tiny detail, they feel trapped and annoyed. Although many people dislike micro-management, driver types resent it. You are keeping them from the brass ring! They may look for a new job that gives them a less obstructed run toward success.



If you are leading change and you are …

  1. Driver personality type intent on pushing through massive change, you will overwhelm other personality types. Don’t issue announcements. Hold all hands meetings. Don’t tell them to stop complaining. Find their concerns and have them develop solutions with you. If you want the employees to implement the change, engage who they are. Else you will not tap the profit of personality types. The change will die a slow death.

  2. Amiable personality type, you can get caught up in feelings and bonding instead of leading through the tough moments. Don’t get stuck. Use your incredible bonding skills to rally support for the change. Engage everyone’s talent to make it happen.

  3. Analytic personality type, you may demand too much information before making decisions. The change effort can falter. Trust the other personality types on the team and profit from their ability to move change along faster with a little less data.

  4. Expressive personality type, you can shine in organizational change because you love to communicate. Yet, you must remember to engage in two-way communication. Don’t deafen them with your constant talk. Profit from the analytic, amiable, and driver type ideas by remembering to let them communicate too!



Great leaders ignite the talents of the team members they have. To engage and lead employees, adapt to their personality types and reap the profits.


If instead you revel in the comfort of your own personality type, you will leave the profit for the next adaptable leader.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related post:
GPS Your Brain to Work With Any Personality Type
The 12 Most Absurd Debates Between Introverts & Extroverts
People Skills Insight Revealed for Introverts & Extroverts

©2011-2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships: Our People Skills Chat Topic Jan. 11th

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Jan. 11, 2015 on Twitter at 10AM ET. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am ET to your local time.



People Skills Chat Topic: Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships

Join us Sunday Jan. 11th 10am ET to discuss ending toxic interactions & relationships. In or outside of work, our interactions can be positive and productive if we create them. Our co-host for this great topic is Sonia Harris @harrisonia, owner/CEO of Harris Commerce, enhancing brands through events and creative digital imaging. Thanks Sonia for suggesting this valuable topic.


Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships: Image is People skills logo

Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

People Skills Chat: Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships

When we think about how many interactions we have each day, the healthier the better! Toxic interactions — left too long — can become toxic relationships. As we start a new year of people skills chat, we are exploring choices that make for a healthy year.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • What exactly are toxic interactions and relationships?
  • What attitudes and behaviors characterize toxic interactions and relationships?
  • How do toxic relationships affect people and the future?
  • “Turn the other cheek.” Does it apply to dealing with toxic interactions and relationships?
  • How can you avoid and/or escape toxic interactions at work?
  • Toxic interactions among team members: How do they stay alive and how do you cure them?
  • How can you be patient with people yet not tolerate toxic behaviors?
  • What leadership behaviors do you find toxic?
  • How do you deal with a toxic leader/manager?
  • How do great leaders create non-toxic environments and relationships?
  • People Skills: How do they fix toxic interactions and create positive ones?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.


Bring your experience, curiosity, a beverage, and join the global #peopleskills Twitter chat Sun. Jan 11th, 10am ET to explore ending toxic interactions and relationships.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to this week’s co-host Sonia Harris @harrisonia. Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Jan. 11th, 10am ET/7am PT to share your insights and perspective ending toxic interactions and relationships.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sunday Jan. 11, 2015, in global #peopleskills Twitter chat 10am ET to discuss ending toxic interactions and relationships.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Chronic Complainers: Great Leaders Ignite Their Contribution

If some of your employees are chronic complainers, don’t focus on the complaining. You get what you focus on. If you want them to contribute, focus on contribution.

Great leaders do not snap at chronic complainers with the disdainful phrase stop whining. They ignite contribution without silencing people or squashing morale.


Chronic Complainers: Image is sketched figure saying I complain therefore I am.

Chronic Complainers: 5 Ways Leaders Ignite Their Contribution. Image by Dushan Wegner.

Image by Dushan Wegner via Flickr Creative Commons License.

5 Ways Great Leaders Ignite Contributions from Chronic Complainers

Leaders, as you feel your frustration with chronic complainers rising, ask yourself why they bother you? Do you feel stuck? Do you wonder how you’ll succeed while they spend time complaining?

Great leaders have these feelings too. They respond by …

  • Replacing the shoulds with communication. Great leaders don’t get stuck in their own expectations. If you find yourself thinking, employees should stop complaining, get busy eliciting employees ideas. It takes out of your own anger and self-focus and into the influence of leadership.

  • Modeling the positive to override the negative. The best way to teach behavior is to show the actions. When chronic complainers dump doubts on everyone, ask them for one way to make the situation better. If they complain some more, politely interrupt them. “I heard what you don’t like. How can we fix it?” Consistently interrupt the complaint with a sincere request for ideas.

  • Sharing power and responsibility. I’ve seen great leaders repeatedly turn chronic complainers into star performers. The leaders empower them to be accountable for results. This goes to the heart of someone’s self-image. A new reality evokes new behavior and eventually a modified self-image.

    Conversely, if you are a micro-manager or a highly controlling leader, you breed complaints. Employees complain when they feel they have no power.



  • Applauding initiative. Great leaders honor people who contribute ideas and solutions. They give recognition to the person for the action. They highlight why initiative matters. This is not the same thing as rewarding success. If you want less complaining and more initiative, reward and appreciate initiative.

  • Correcting themselves when they complain. Anybody can lapse into a complaint. In fact, “stop complaining” and “stop whining” are themselves complaints and whines. They express frustration without offering solutions. When you slip into this, stop yourself. Illustrate how you turn around your own behavior and you model it for everyone.



Chronic complainers are driven by embarrassment, fear, insecurity, and feelings of powerlessness. Interrupt this behavior through awareness, communication, and empowerment.



Ignite contributions and breed accountability. Show everyone what it is. Replace demeaning stop whining decrees with behavior that inspires contribution and green lights success.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership: Breed Accountability Not Blame
Professional People Skills: 6 Ways to Respond to Constant Fault Finders

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

The 12 People Skills of Remarkable Collaboration & Teamwork

In my latest post on LinkedIn, I highlight the 12 people skills you need to succeed when you don’t have official authority.

These are essential for cross teamwork, collaboration, ad hoc team interaction, project completion, team leadership, and career success!


12 People Skills. Image is circle of humans holding hands.

The 12 People Skills of Remarkable Collaboration & Teamwork. Image via Istock.com.

Image licensed via Istock.com

Develop & Excel: The 12 People Skills of Collaboration!

Read my latest on LinkedIn The 12 People Skills to Succeed Without Authority and watch your collaboration, teamwork, and career success multiply.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Professional People Skills: Find Solutions, Not Fault


Professional People Skills: Image is a poem about listing positives.

Professional People Skills: How to Deal w/ Fault Finders Image by:ANDI

Image by ANDI via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Finding fault stops progress; finding solutions ignites success. I posted that on Twitter and many re-tweeted it. Some sent replies and this one caught my eye:


How  do  you deal with chronic fault finders?

A great question.



Dealing with chronic fault finders can demoralize a team. In Dr. Robert Sutton’s book Good Boss, Bad Boss he notes: “Teams with downers produce 40-60% less than teams without them.”

That rang true to me. When I am around chronic fault finders, I feel like I am pushing a truck up a hill without a motor.

Conversely, when I am around people who focus on finding solutions, their professional people skills, energy, and ideas are uplifting. It’s a heavenly duo of optimism and realism.

Professional People Skills: Dealing w/ Chronic Fault Finders

So what professional people skills approach would you use to deal with chronic fault finders?

  1. Are they aware that they come across as negative? You might think this is a ridiculous question yet many people never think about how they appear to others. Ask them for their ideas and solutions. If someone is going to change their behavior, first they must see their behavior for what it is to others.

  2. Use the power of the written “what if”. Ask them: “What if we each write down some possible solutions and then share them?” By going to the written form, you create a spotlight for the positive. The chronic fault finders will see their behavior more clearly if they have suddenly have nothing to share.

  3. If the fault finding continues, ask them “What does fault finding mean to you or do for you?” It asks without accusing. If they are finding fault with ideas without offering new ones, they are resisting change. If they are finding fault with people, it generally shows their fear or insecurity. In either case, communication about finding fault can get them to move past it.

  4. Spot their personality type. Driver types are so focused on the end result they assume that others are too. They skip telling you the positive aspects of your idea to reach success more quickly. If you are not a driver personality type, you may see this as negativity and finding fault. Let the driver personality type know that looking at the positives and negatives helps you reach the end result.

  5. Take what is valuable. Set limits on the rest. If they are highlighting the risks or flaws in an idea, use their comments to make things better. If they are attacking you personally, set limits appropriately. “I treat people with respect. I ask the same in return.” This is a professional people skills response to inappropriate behavior.

  6. Leave it behind. There are times in your personal and work life where you may choose to walk (not run) away from a chronic fault finder. It is a viable choice when done with prior thought and awareness. Being around positive people can change your life.



Picture a team of inventors. They look at each failed attempt as a positive step toward creating a great result. They don’t point fingers at who suggested it and spend time blaming. They are alive with energy and ideas to reach a solution.


Chronic fault finding comes from fear, selfishness, and low emotional intelligence. When you face that negativity, your self-confidence, optimism, and emotional intelligence rise about it and enable a professional people skills response.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

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