Teamwork

Chronic Complainers: Great Leaders Ignite Their Contribution

If some of your employees are chronic complainers, don’t focus on the complaining. You get what you focus on. If you want them to contribute, focus on contribution.

Great leaders do not snap at chronic complainers with the disdainful phrase stop whining. They ignite contribution without silencing people or squashing morale.


Chronic Complainers: Image is sketched figure saying I complain therefore I am.

Chronic Complainers: 5 Ways Leaders Ignite Their Contribution. Image by Dushan Wegner.

Image by Dushan Wegner via Flickr Creative Commons License.

5 Ways Great Leaders Ignite Contributions from Chronic Complainers

Leaders, as you feel your frustration with chronic complainers rising, ask yourself why they bother you? Do you feel stuck? Do you wonder how you’ll succeed while they spend time complaining?

Great leaders have these feelings too. They respond by …

  • Replacing the shoulds with communication. Great leaders don’t get stuck in their own expectations. If you find yourself thinking, employees should stop complaining, get busy eliciting employees ideas. It takes out of your own anger and self-focus and into the influence of leadership.

  • Modeling the positive to override the negative. The best way to teach behavior is to show the actions. When chronic complainers dump doubts on everyone, ask them for one way to make the situation better. If they complain some more, politely interrupt them. “I heard what you don’t like. How can we fix it?” Consistently interrupt the complaint with a sincere request for ideas.

  • Sharing power and responsibility. I’ve seen great leaders repeatedly turn chronic complainers into star performers. The leaders empower them to be accountable for results. This goes to the heart of someone’s self-image. A new reality evokes new behavior and eventually a modified self-image.

    Conversely, if you are a micro-manager or a highly controlling leader, you breed complaints. Employees complain when they feel they have no power.



  • Applauding initiative. Great leaders honor people who contribute ideas and solutions. They give recognition to the person for the action. They highlight why initiative matters. This is not the same thing as rewarding success. If you want less complaining and more initiative, reward and appreciate initiative.

  • Correcting themselves when they complain. Anybody can lapse into a complaint. In fact, “stop complaining” and “stop whining” are themselves complaints and whines. They express frustration without offering solutions. When you slip into this, stop yourself. Illustrate how you turn around your own behavior and you model it for everyone.



Chronic complainers are driven by embarrassment, fear, insecurity, and feelings of powerlessness. Interrupt this behavior through awareness, communication, and empowerment.



Ignite contributions and breed accountability. Show everyone what it is. Replace demeaning stop whining decrees with behavior that inspires contribution and green lights success.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership: Breed Accountability Not Blame
Professional People Skills: 6 Ways to Respond to Constant Fault Finders

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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The 12 People Skills of Remarkable Collaboration & Teamwork

In my latest post on LinkedIn, I highlight the 12 people skills you need to succeed when you don’t have official authority.

These are essential for cross teamwork, collaboration, ad hoc team interaction, project completion, team leadership, and career success!


12 People Skills. Image is circle of humans holding hands.

The 12 People Skills of Remarkable Collaboration & Teamwork. Image via Istock.com.

Image licensed via Istock.com

Develop & Excel: The 12 People Skills of Collaboration!

Read my latest on LinkedIn The 12 People Skills to Succeed Without Authority and watch your collaboration, teamwork, and career success multiply.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Professional People Skills: Find Solutions, Not Fault


Professional People Skills: Image is a poem about listing positives.

Professional People Skills: How to Deal w/ Fault Finders Image by:ANDI

Image by ANDI via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Finding fault stops progress; finding solutions ignites success. I posted that on Twitter and many re-tweeted it. Some sent replies and this one caught my eye:


How  do  you deal with chronic fault finders?

A great question.



Dealing with chronic fault finders can demoralize a team. In Dr. Robert Sutton’s book Good Boss, Bad Boss he notes: “Teams with downers produce 40-60% less than teams without them.”

That rang true to me. When I am around chronic fault finders, I feel like I am pushing a truck up a hill without a motor.

Conversely, when I am around people who focus on finding solutions, their professional people skills, energy, and ideas are uplifting. It’s a heavenly duo of optimism and realism.

Professional People Skills: Dealing w/ Chronic Fault Finders

So what professional people skills approach would you use to deal with chronic fault finders?

  1. Are they aware that they come across as negative? You might think this is a ridiculous question yet many people never think about how they appear to others. Ask them for their ideas and solutions. If someone is going to change their behavior, first they must see their behavior for what it is to others.

  2. Use the power of the written “what if”. Ask them: “What if we each write down some possible solutions and then share them?” By going to the written form, you create a spotlight for the positive. The chronic fault finders will see their behavior more clearly if they have suddenly have nothing to share.

  3. If the fault finding continues, ask them “What does fault finding mean to you or do for you?” It asks without accusing. If they are finding fault with ideas without offering new ones, they are resisting change. If they are finding fault with people, it generally shows their fear or insecurity. In either case, communication about finding fault can get them to move past it.

  4. Spot their personality type. Driver types are so focused on the end result they assume that others are too. They skip telling you the positive aspects of your idea to reach success more quickly. If you are not a driver personality type, you may see this as negativity and finding fault. Let the driver personality type know that looking at the positives and negatives helps you reach the end result.

  5. Take what is valuable. Set limits on the rest. If they are highlighting the risks or flaws in an idea, use their comments to make things better. If they are attacking you personally, set limits appropriately. “I treat people with respect. I ask the same in return.” This is a professional people skills response to inappropriate behavior.

  6. Leave it behind. There are times in your personal and work life where you may choose to walk (not run) away from a chronic fault finder. It is a viable choice when done with prior thought and awareness. Being around positive people can change your life.



Picture a team of inventors. They look at each failed attempt as a positive step toward creating a great result. They don’t point fingers at who suggested it and spend time blaming. They are alive with energy and ideas to reach a solution.


Chronic fault finding comes from fear, selfishness, and low emotional intelligence. When you face that negativity, your self-confidence, optimism, and emotional intelligence rise about it and enable a professional people skills response.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Two Magical Words That Expand and Improve Interactions


Two Magical Words: Image is a magician's wand & hat.

Magical Words for Great Interactions and People Skills Source:Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com.

As you read the title of this post, you might immediately think of please and thank you as the two magical words for great people skills.  While they are critical for positive interactions, there are two magical words that supersede them by having an impact from just thinking them!

What do you think the two magical words are?


Click to reveal the two magical words their impact on teamwork, collaboration, and innovation.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Handling Immature Teammates, Bosses, and Family is this week’s chat topic.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Nov. 9, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EST. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EST to your local time.



Handling Immature Teammates, Bosses, & Family

People develop different levels of emotional intelligence and maturity. What happens when you must interact with people less mature than you?



Handling Immature Teammates & Bosses: Image is People skills logo

Handling Immature Teammates & Bosses: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Handling Immature Teammates, Bosses, and Family!

Handling immature teammates and bosses — not to mention family — presents some special challenges. JOIN us Sunday 10am EST in #peopleskills global Twitter chat to share ideas and tips on this universal predicament.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • How do you define immaturity? Is it purely a matter of comparison?
  • What are some mature people skills behaviors and what does it feel like to be mature?
  • What emotions and conditions trigger immature behavior?
  • How is immaturity different from free spirited fun?
  • Is maturity a straight line path of growth or does it come and go?
  • Which immature behaviors undermine teamwork?
  • How would you respond to immature teammate behavior?
  • How do immature bosses/leaders behave & how do they impact those they lead?
  • What can employees do to help their boss/leader mature?
  • How do great people skills help you respond maturely to immature behavior?

These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday Nov. 9, 10am EST in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your experience, insight, and perspective on handling immature teammates, bosses and family.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Nov. 9, 2014, 10am EST/7am PST to share your insights, perspective, and experience on handling immature teammates, bosses, and family.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. Nov. 9, 2014, 10am EST to explore handling immature teammates in our #Peopleskills Global Twitter Chat.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Emotionally Intelligent Teamwork: 10 Ways to Work With Immature Teammates


Is it possible work well with immature teammates when you have developed your emotional intelligence? Yes.

It may not be as enjoyable as working with emotionally intelligent teammates. However, it’s very possible!


Emotionally Intelligent: Image of Marianne Williamson quote.

Emotionally Intelligent Teamwork w/ Emotionally Unintelligent Teammages Graphic via VeryBestQuotes.com

Image via VeryBestQuotes.Com

10 Steps for Emotionally Intelligent Teamwork w/ Less Intelligent Teammates

Most everyone agrees that emotionally intelligent teammates produce better than immature staff who squabble, waffle, and veer off course. It’s also true that teams often have some less emotionally unintelligent team members.

As the goals and deadlines loom, your emotional intelligence can help everyone reach success.



  1. Spot emotionally unintelligent teammates early on. Use your emotional intelligence to spot annoying behavior for what it is. With your positive energy, you will inspire productive teamwork instead of being trapped in annoyance.

  2. Step forward with calm confidence. With your calm confidence, you can accomplish much with immature teammates. They will be drawn to you as a pillar of support.

  3. Influence everyone with your emotionally intelligent humility. Respond to overactive egos with the strength of humility. It flows with quiet power to reach any goal. It smooths resistance. It cuts through immature egos without threatening them. Humility builds trust through its selfless giving. With that influence, you and the team can accomplish anything.

  4. Listen beyond your boundaries. Go beyond your reactions to teammates’ immaturity and listen to draw people magically together. Listening builds understanding. It reduces gaps to accomplish the impossible.

  5. Tune into human needs. Be aware of what immature teammates need to feel secure. Offer empathy, validation, and support. You free them from the emotional needs that trap them and then they contribute to the team. This is not the same thing as fake schmoozing. When your heart cares, your behavior is authentic.

  6. Let your leadership shine. As odd as it sounds, your immature teammates give you many chances to lead. Great leaders don’t drown around people who have less ability. They lead them. Do it happily.

  7. Be realistic. Expect the immaturity and celebrate the growth. Once you spot teammates’ weaknesses, don’t waste your time hoping they will change immediately. Live life as it is not as you think it should be. As they evolve, celebrate their growth.

  8. Be very grateful for your emotional intelligence. It gives you much success and happiness. When you meet immature teammates, be grateful for the maturity you’ve developed. Gratitude keeps your emotional intelligence alive and active. Share your gift!


  9. Set limits intelligently. For example, if a teammate’s immaturity shows you great disrespect, ask for basic human respect: “I would like simple respect. I give it to you and I would like it in return.” Respect is the basis for trust and teamwork. Bring the issue to the table. They may get defensive at first. Eventually, they will see the fairness in it and respond appropriately. By communicating your needs, you give them a chance to evolve.

  10. Buoy yourself. Associate with other emotionally intelligent people. Working with immature teammates can be taxing. Recharge your batteries, inside and outside of work, with others who are as capable as you. Refueling keeps everyone evolving, energized, and working at peak performance.






Let your emotional intelligence shine and elevate the team. Your generosity will come back to you tenfold.



How has your emotional intelligence helped your teammates?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:

5 Steps to Develop Emotional Intelligence
Positive Attitudes for Dealing With Toxic Leaders

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Millennials Success: 5 Ways to Be Included Not Just Recognized!


Millennials Success: Image is Gold puzzle pieces fitting together.

Millennials Success: Be Included Not Just Recognized Image via Istock.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com


I keep reading articles about what millennials want at work. For millennials success, my advice is …





Being recognized says, “We see you.” Being included says, “We need you and we trust you.” Millennials success, just like anyone’s, depends on being needed and trusted.

Millennials Success: 5 Ways to Be Included Not Just Recognized

Being different can get you recognized yet it won’t necessarily get you included or trusted. Differences create gaps that subconsciously trigger mistrust.

Flex and adapt to others and they will recognize AND include you. As you close the gaps, mistrust fades into comfort and eventually trust.

  1. Dress with some individual expression yet not too much. How you dress tells others whether you want to connect with them. Too different says, “Look how different I am.” Somewhat similar to others says, “Yes I want to connect.” As the saying goes, when in Rome, do as the Romans.

  2. Show your endurance and forbearance. Being needed and trusted grows from your ability to endure and tolerate situations (and people) you don’t like. Everyone faces a difficult road. Show emotional intelligence and willingness to work through others’ flaws.


  3. DifficultRoadsOftenLeadtoBeautifulDestinations


  4. Bring your exuberance and curiosity. Moderate your exuberance with curiosity about others. Too much of “here’s my view” without enough “what’s your view” will get you recognized but not needed, trusted, and included. Show true interest in others and you build empathy based trust.

  5. Offer your talents and technology know-how but don’t expect immediate acceptance. Millennials success comes from offering the new while valuing the status quo. Otherwise others may see you as a narrow-minded naive know-it-all.

  6. Act empowered not entitled. Empowerment gives; entitlement takes. Whom would you trust more? Someone who walks in asking others to do for them or someone who walks in contributing? Contributors become needed and trusted.



To do these things without resentment, remember that inclusion doesn’t mean assimilation. You can be included — needed and trusted — without being completely assimilated and fading into the background.


Inclusion doesn’t mean you lose you. It’s not …



Inclusion is not assimilation. You can still be you!

Inclusion is not assimilation. You can still be you!

Image via Robin Hood from Loxley




Whether starting a career or changing jobs, most people hope to be acknowledged. It’s wonderful to be recognized at work.


Yet being recognized is not enough. Being included signals that you are needed and also trusted for respecting and accommodating others. Eccentrics, celebrities, and upstarts are recognized yet not always trusted and seen as necessary.


For millennials success at work, be included. It’s far better than just being recognized!


Your turn: What else breeds career success?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Career Communication: Too Much Playing Can Be Hazardous
The 8 Ins and Outs of Business People Skills
Courtesy Checklist: 10 Superior Ways to Lead, Serve, & Collaborate
Accountability: People Skills Secrets Revealed

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Empowered Not Entitled: Communicating for Success

Team members, picture yourselves as leaders or managers. Would you want to lead and manage empowered employees or entitled ones?

The responses overwhelmingly come back, empowered not entitled. Leaders and managers agree too. The question is why?





Empowered Not Entitled: Image is 3 hands.

Communicate You Are Empowered Not Entitled. Image licensed from Istock.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com


Empowered Not Entitled: When Everyone Serves, Everyone Wins!

Empowered team members engage and contribute for maximum success. They step up; they don’t sit back. They give to everyone; they don’t wait to receive. When everyone serves, everyone wins.


Communicate You Are Empowered Not Entitled

  1. Give more than you request.
  2. Correct your mistakes and help others to mend theirs.
  3. Offer sincere apologies when you impact others badly.
  4. Focus on everyone succeeding not getting what others have.
  5. Create your rewards by contributing your talents and effort vs. demanding rewards now.



Bold Illustration
One team member emailed his manager, “I would like to work from home three days a week. How can you make this happen for me?” The language he used communicated he felt entitled. He expected others to do for him. This attitude is a dead weight against success. It burdens and weighs down leaders, managers, and teams.


The manager explained that she wasn’t his concierge. If he wanted to explore new ideas, he should first ask if it’s possible, offer what he would do to make it happen, and outline the benefits to the organization. This is how you communicate you are empowered not entitled!






If a team were comprised of all entitled team members, what would it accomplish? Conversely empowered team members engage and contribute for all to win. Are you a welcome contributor or an annoying maverick?





Empowered not entitled: Show your team & company what you can do for them!



“Never stand begging for that which you have the power to earn.” ~Miguel de Cervantes



Leaders, do your part. Reward contribution not just bold requests for promotion.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Accountability Legacy: People Skills Secrets Revealed
Teamwork: Are You a Welcome Contributor or an Annoying Maverick?
Teamwork Collaboration: Leadership Beliefs That Kill It

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: Risk Free Success!


Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: Image is person breaking through and emerging through a wall.

Listening Beyond Our Boundaries. Image licensed from Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com


We succeed in leadership, teamwork, employee engagement, customer service and relationships in general when we listen beyond our boundaries.

Listening beyond our boundaries solves problems and prevents problems. It turns perceived gaps into understanding. It magically draws people together to do the impossible. There is nothing to stop us.


All we need to do is get started!


Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: 2 Minute Quick Start Video









When has listening beyond your boundaries created surprising results?

How can we help others to listen beyond their boundaries?

Or must everyone do it on their own?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Listening Responsibility: Listen While We Speak!

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership: Do You See a Generation Gap or an Intersection?


Every day  I hear leaders talk about the generation gap in the workplace.  I read about it blogs.  My reaction is, it’s an intersection — not a gap!


When the leadership in an organization see and focus on the differences, they widen the gap.  When the leadership see the possibilities at the intersection of talents, the gap narrows and even disappears.



Leadership: Find the Generation Intersections!

Gaps among diverse people are temporary not permanent. Consider how many times gaps have faded into sudden connection and teamwork in everyday life …

  • Disparate groups — even mistrustful factions — who pull together in a major crisis to save lives
  • Prospects who don’t want to talk to a sales person — until the sales rep finds the common ground
  • Private venture capitalists who embrace very young entrepreneurs when high potential and profit is staring them in the face
  • Very young entrepreneurs who truly welcome older experienced investors and advisers to increase success



Everyone Has a Story
We’ve all seen grandparents captivate their grandchildren with stories of the past. My young niece, when hearing me tell funny stories about relatives she never knew, blurted out “tell more stories!” This was after a long holiday meal where she was the only child at the table. You would think she would have been bored. No! She wanted to connect/intersect with generations she never knew.

What common elements turn the generation gap into an intersection?

  1. Positive, fun, upbeat, hopeful moments
  2. Possibilities and abundance for everyone not exclusions and shortage of opportunities
  3. Mutual gain from respecting diverse talents and views
  4. Higher calling or need as in a crisis

Leadership Generations Intersection: Image is intersecting circles.

Leadership Generations Intersection Not Gap via Istock.com.




What can leadership do to create these intersections?

  1. Create positive opportunities for the generations to intersect.
  2. Highlight the abundance of success that awaits instead of the tough times and narrowing opportunities.
  3. Team build with employees’ stories. The generations intersect as they see common human needs and responses emerge and merge.




Images licensed from Istock.com

Why bother? Because …




Leaders, help the generations to intersect. The time is now. I have many team building programs to make this happen. Let’s do it!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Teamwork Posts:
Leadership: 5 Essentials to Build 21st Century Teams
Leadership People Skills: 5 Ways to Spark Team Agility

©2013-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Exceptional Empowerment: Do Employees Think They Can’t Ask You?

Empower your employees! This has become the leadership mantra of the decade. It develops new talent. It prevents the horror of micro-managing BUT …


Do empowered employees believe they must go it alone?


Leaders, if you want the results of exceptional empowerment, make it clear that it’s OK to tap expertise.






Exceptional Empowerment: Image is flying statues.

Exceptional Empowerment: Includes Mentoring & Collaboration Image by Martin Pettitt via Flickr.

Grateful for image by Martin Pettitt via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Exceptional Empowerment: Include Input & Collaboration

When leaders first try empowering employees, they often go astray. They mistakenly communicate to employees to go it alone.


“Don’t ask me. You’re empowered!”


That statement undermines empowerment. Avoid this risk. Finish the statement.


“Don’t ask me for permission. You’re empowered.”

 

Those two extra words, for permission, make a big difference. Empowered employees don’t ask for permission. They ask for input, knowledge, and perspective.


Leadership Steps to Exceptional Empowerment

  • Mentor. Empower with knowledge and experience. Don’t go from micro-managing to abandonment. Share your knowledge. Mentor through questions instead of leading with commands.

  • Distinguish exploring from struggling. Throwing someone into the deep end unprepared creates struggle. Sharing knowledge empowers exploration. The former can leave unproductive scars. The latter fuels greatness. Training wheels on a bicycle don’t stop the learning. Riders still have to peddle and steer around obstacles.

  • Define empowerment as development and sharing power — not delegation. Development suggests learning and growth. It shares power through knowledge and collaboration.

    Delegation doesn’t empower. It assigns responsibility. The delegators still have the power. Those delegated to represent those doing the delegating. This is not empowerment.





Make a smart start to exceptional empowerment. Don’t go from a hierarchical, solo work culture, directly to empowerment. Shift to a collaborative culture first. It makes sharing knowledge the norm. Exceptional empowerment in the organization develops easily from there.


Your turn: Do you empower people to collaborate or to go it alone?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Teamwork Collaboration: Leadership Beliefs That Kill It
The True Cost of Fake Empowerment

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Teamwork Collaboration: Leaders, Is Your Competitive Spirit Killing It?


Teamwork Collaboration Killers: Image is large foot stepping on a person.

Teamwork Collaboration: Leadership Beliefs That Kill It! Image via Istock.com.

Image licensed via Istock.com


Business owners and leaders hold a competitive spirit in high regard. They often have it and hire for it. They say, “without a competitive spirit how would a business succeed, right? Not necessarily.


Today’s business environment also requires tremendous teamwork collaboration. Innovation needs it. Sales needs it. Superior customer experience needs it. Project completion needs it. In truth, teamwork collaboration is absolutely essential for business success.





It doesn’t have to.



Teamwork Collaboration: Check Your Competitive Beliefs!

Leaders, what are your competitive beliefs doing to your teams’ interaction and collaboration? It’s an important question. Attitude and beliefs drive your behavior and the culture of your organization.

  1. Do you equate collaboration with weakness, laziness, even failure? Your initial answer may be no! Do your actions prove that out? Do you truly value, respect, and elevate high collaborators?

    Do you see collaborators as leaders who can build that culture? Or do you place them under competitive employees? Whom do you promote to a higher position? Great collaborators or individualists with a competitive spirit?


  2. Do you believe collaborators need coddling? In a recent chat, one leader proclaimed he doesn’t have time to coddle people. He prefers competitive types. Coddle?

    True collaborators are not super sensitive people who demand constant support. They are talented employees who know how to initiate ideas and work with others to reach a collective result. If you believe you must coddle collaborators, you may kill teamwork collaboration.


  3. Do you believe that progress stagnates without rivalry and competition? Some people need rivalry to work hard. Yet, natural collaborators find it a huge turnoff. To them it’s distracting. They are already motivated to work hard with others. Rivalry is the antithesis of this.

  4. Do you think that competition builds strength, confidence and backbones? Not in everyone. Many collaborators are motivated through synergy of talents not contests of conquering. Moreover, natural collaborators are not spineless weak adults who lack confidence. They are strong enough to have their own voice and honor others’ as well.

    Leaders, how are your team members motivated? Through competition or collaboration? If you are leading with a competitive philosophy because it’s comfortable for you, you may be killing teamwork collaboration.




How well do you understand the collaborative mind?


Leaders inspire teamwork collaboration when they …

  • Know their teams members and what inspires them. “Celebrate those who compete, celebrate those who collaborate. An ocean refuses no river.” ~@AJManik

  • Recognize when competition is creating a deadlock and help team members see why it’s happening. This is important when you have competitors and collaborators on the same team.

  • Overcome the myth that collaboration is everyone thinking the same thing. It isn’t. It’s diverse views without the mindset of who’s right/wrong and who’s going to win. Help team members learn to disagree with respect, to reach collaborative results.

  • Remember that initiative is different from competition. Initiative and a can-do attitude are always valuable. They keep the business moving toward success. Yet, competition sometimes kills much needed teamwork collaboration.

  • Address domineering non-collaborators even if they are great individual performers. If you justify their behavior with their results you undermine teamwork collaboration.








What progress truly requires is initiative, can-do attitudes, critical thinking, innovation, and great execution. You can find this in both natural competitors AND collaborators. Know who you are leading and inspire them to great heights!


Competitor or collaborator – Which do you think makes a better leader?

Which do you prefer as a leader?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Book Keynotes:
GPS Your Brain to Work w/ Any Personality Type
Leaders, Be a Buoy of Inspiration & Balance


More Blog Posts on Related Topics:
Are You an Annoying Maverick or a Welcome Initiator?
Teamwork Collaboration: Do You Welcome People In or Push Them Out?

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Rebuilding Trust: What Does It Reveal About You?


Rebuilding Trust: Image is statue of child hugging itself.

Rebuilding Trust: 3 Tough Teamwork Truths. Image by Chris Bartle via Flickr.

Image by Chris Bartle via Flickr Creative Commons License


Rebuilding Trust: A Very Revealing Story

    As I rode the train, I heard a young man talking to his friends. He told of how during his senior year in college he missed an important team event. Team participation was part of his grade and he risked failing. He spoke with the professor about doing something to ensure he didn’t fail.

    The professor told him he would have to do loads of office work that would position the team for ultimate success. The young man replied: That would feel too much like punishment. I would rather …



Rebuilding Trust: 3 Tough Leadership & Teamwork Truths

  1. After you’ve broken a trust, your initial response defines you. Rebuilding trust requires selflessness. A selfish response erodes the trust further and will haunt you for many years to come.

  2. Rebuilding trust requires more than just repairing what you broke. It needs a radical change in behavior that allows others to risk trusting you again.

  3. Sacrificing your own needs to rebuild the trust you broke is not punishment. It is the generosity you didn’t show initially. If you call it punishment, it announces to others that you are still thinking of yourself instead of them.




Asking for a second chance is a huge ask at the very moment you’ve disappointed or hurt others. Surrender your needs to those you’ve disappointed. Act with selfless humility to break down the fear of trusting you again.

Rebuilding trust is an act of emotional intelligence. You will come out of it a new person if you dig deep and give generously.


What is the one thing you want from someone who breaks your trust?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership & Teamwork: What’s So Hot About Humility Anyway?
Never Confuse Humility With Humiliation
The Perfect Apology and the One Word That Destroys It
People Skills: 3 Precursors to Influence

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Team Harmony: Is it at odds with great results?

It doesn’t have to be. When teams are united in their goal and are willing to adapt to reach it, you can have both team harmony and great results.


Team Harmony: Image are zen rocks stacked but tipping.

Team Harmony: Leaders, Are You Sacrificing Greatness? Image by Alexandra Stevenson via Flickr.

Grateful for image by Alexandra Stevenson via Flickr Creative Commons License.




Yet leaders who are very focused on team harmony and morale, sometimes sacrifice great results to keep morale and harmony alive.


  • They accept low performance issues to avoid upset vs. addressing issues through engagement, coaching, re-assignments, or dismissals.
  • They tolerate change resistance of a few instead of leading all team members through it.
  • They stomach the pessimist’s constant negativity instead of asking them for creativity, alternatives, and solutions.



Leadership: Great Results and Team Harmony!

Leaders, you don’t have to choose between team harmony/morale and great results.

  1. Bring out the best performance of each team member by making them aware of where they need to improve. Improvement starts with awareness, grows with coaching and training, and finishes with individual ownership and commitment. Team members can coach each other by sharing insights, expertise, and encouragement. This builds both team harmony and great results.

  2. Know the difference between true change resistors and people grappling with change. True change resistors argue endlessly against the change. People grappling with change ask how-to questions, contribute ideas to discussions, and take action to achieve it.

    Once you spot true change resistors, make it clear what different behaviors are needed. To lead change, you must be willing to teach, guide, and call everyone to high expectations. Be ready to make changes in team make-up if resistors continue to resist. Team harmony and morale sustain themselves when everyone is contributing instead of resisting.


  3. Have the team discuss the difference between skepticism and pessimism. What words and actions distinguish the two? There is a fair amount of confusion about it. Skeptics raise healthy questions about risk, possibilities, and pathways. They keep reality in focus and hope and optimism alive.

    Ardent pessimists are saying no. They close the door instead of opening new ones with appropriate caution. Left unchecked, they can crush both team harmony/morale and great results.





  4. Now for the tough one leaders …

  5. Replace managers who are consistently negative, highly change resistant, or very insecure and arrogant. If you want team harmony/morale and great results, the managers leading the teams must be open to change, able to engage others, and both optimistic and realistic. Teams dealing with highly negative, insecure, arrogant, change resistant managers have lower team harmony/morale and weaker results. These managers determine the speed and distance your organization can travel and the results it can achieve.



What front line management behaviors do you find most important to team harmony and great results?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership: 5 Essentials to Spark Team Agility
Leadership Morale Challenge: How Long Do You Coach a Bad Attitude?
Leaders, Employee Engagement is Uniquely Personal

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

People Skills: What motivates great communicators?


Much is written on what great communicators do. Much is written about how they benefit others. Yet not much is written on why great communicators focus on great expression.


What motivates them? Does communication meet some inner need? Perhaps knowing this can help everyone interact and work better together.


People Skills: Image is the word "Motivation".

People Skills: What Motivates Great Communicators? Image licensed from Istock.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com

People Skills: The Secret Motivation of Great Communicators

What is it that great communicators get out of great communication? What inner need does it meet? Some say …

  • Need to influence others. Possibly. Yet that desire would ebb and flow. Great communicators communicate consistently. Their communication and people skills are always present.

  • Strong need to connect. Sounds plausible. Yet many people have the strong human need to connect with others and don’t focus on great communication.

  • Great need to help others. Could well be true. Still many people with the “helper’s high” motivation — also known as high altruism — are not great communicators.

  • There is no need. They were just born that way. Hmmm. I do believe in inborn traits. Yet most people focus and further develop the behaviors that give them what they like, want, and need.


So what is it that great communicators want that great communication gives them?


Security!




Great communicators find security, comfort, and protection in communication. To them it is the one light on a very dark road. The key to an unknown future. The way to minimize risk and mitigate danger.


Great communicators not only give great communication, they want it in return. Refuse to communicate with great communicators and you will see their frustration spike. Withhold information from great communicators and they will forge ahead and go around you to get what they need.


Ask great communicators to complete this sentence: “I communicate because it _________________________.” You may get different answers yet underneath all the replies will be the connection between security and communication.



What People Skills Lessons to Learn From This Need for Security?

All humans have some need for security. How much varies and how they meet that need varies. Some fill it more through introspection and less expression. Others meet it through great communication.

Alas the ever present people skills struggle between introverts and extroverts, between analytics and expressives, and between amiables and drivers. The good news is the differences are not permanent blocks!

  1. Be very self-aware of how you fill your need for security. Whether it’s through deep introspection or great communication, the need can also make you inflexible. The awareness can counteract that and make you adaptable. Every relationship — at work and home — requires flexibility and adaptation to others’ needs.

  2. Leaders, be aware of the security needs of those you lead. Great leadership communication anticipates and meets the diverse needs of many to engage everyone. If you expect everyone to be just like you, it will limit the reach and effectiveness of your leadership. There are leaders who meet their own security needs through introspection and lose patience with employees who need a high level of communication. Likewise, leaders who find security in communication often dismiss employees who are more introspective. Neither results in great leadership.

  3. Teammates, understand the security needs of each other. Your collaboration will soar when you understand what makes each person feel secure enough to takes necessary risks.



People so rarely speak about their need for security yet underneath it is affecting every interaction. Be aware of the need and you limit how much it can limit you!

What gives you a sense of security? Communication, introspection, or ____________?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
People Skills Secret Revealed for Introverts and Extroverts
Avoid 8 Common Causes of People Skills Mistakes

©2013-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels.

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

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