Teamwork

People Skills Success Radar: 9 Hidden Places to Find Your Empathy

It takes great people skills to succeed in business and it takes empathy to have great people skills. Have you discovered the full extent of your empathy? Without empathy — understanding and feeling what others are feeling — you fail to build trust and true connection.



People Skills Success Discover Your Empathy: Image is a humanoid w/ binoculars

People Skills Success Radar: Discover Your Empathy. Image licensed from Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com.

People Skills Success Radar: 9 Hidden Places to Find Your Empathy

Find your empathy to lead and engage employees, work with teammates, collaborate on projects, and succeed with customers. Give it even in the toughest moments. Your people skills success radar will help you find it.



Here is where empathy often hides:

  1. In what you are afraid to be. When people want to be seen as tough and strong, empathy hides to protect that image. Release and give your empathy. It shows that you are truly secure in who you are and confident enough to care for others. Inner strength is your billboard not fake toughness.



  2. In what you never received. Your empathy hides behind your unconscious scar of not receiving any. Find your empathy there and give it to others. It is the best way to get empathy and remove your scar.


  3. In the fear of failure. When people are afraid they will fail, they sometimes focus too much on themselves. Their fear hides their empathy. Uncover your empathy to uncover people skills success in business.


  4. In the myth that empathy makes others weak. Feeling what others feel doesn’t make them weak. Connection lifts people up. Your empathy makes them stronger as you light another way to success.


  5. In a logical focus. People who find comfort in logic — and discomfort in feelings — bury their empathy underneath analysis. Dig it up. Empathize before you analyze. It doesn’t bury you in feelings. Empathy is the connection before the solution. It is the secret to people skills success.



  6. Behind a wall of mistrust. When people are stung by an emotional manipulator, they sometimes put up walls to future connection. They don’t want to empathize and be stung by anyone again. Don’t hide your pain behind the wall. Call the stingers what they are — stinkers! Then share your empathy with the rest of the wonderful caring people in your world. Otherwise, the stinkers hide your people skills success behind the wall forever.


  7. In the wrong definition of empathy. Empathy doesn’t mean you agree with others. It simply says: “You matter, we matter, this matters, let’s find a solution.” You can empathize with someone’s feelings and yet not agree with their reasoning, conclusion, or solution. Share your empathy first to help them see a different view.


  8. In a judgmental ego. “I told you so” and “Everything that happened to you is your own fault” scream out your weakness. Quite ironic since these statements attempt to focus on others’ weakness! Silence your judgmental ego w/ a more powerful force — empathy. Then watch the magical power of connection bring you success.



  9. In a vengeful spirit. If you live a get even life, your empathy and success have difficulty living there too. And few will want to be there with you. Employees, colleagues, teammates, and definitely customers will keep their distance. Replace vengeance with forgiveness and move forward. Your empathy — not vengeance — will bring you people skills success.


Work and live the most basic human truth, success comes through connection. Empathy brings the magical power of connection to life. Find and share your empathy for people skills success.



What would you add to the list above? Is there a #10?



Let’s explore empathy in workshops with your teams and boost teamwork and business success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
People Skills Philosophy 4 Keys to Agility & Success in Business
What Happens When Tough Leaders Show Empathy?

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Personality Types: Tapping the Profitable Secrets

Behind the labels of personality types lie the secrets to more profitable leadership and teamwork.

Workplace leaders often assess team member personality types — amiable, expressive, analytic, driver. If leaders stop there, these results become inactive labels of little value. As I work with leaders and their teams, I highlight the profitable secrets of personality types.


Personality Types: Image is a toy safe w/ door open and coins.

The Profitable Leadership & Team Secrets of Personality Types

Image licensed from Istock.com

Secrets of Personality Types

Personality types impact employee engagement and commitment, understanding and outcomes. In times of great change, personality types can block or feed success.



Personality Types & Employee Engagement

  1. Amiable personality types come alive through personal connection. If you want to tap the profit they can bring to the business, bond with them personally. You do not have to be their best friends yet if you skip the bonding you skip the profit. A just the facts approach makes them feel lonely and demoralized. In today’s world of virtual teams, remember to connect with amiable types face to face or video conference for a winning solution!

  2. Expressive personality types shine in and through communication. Two-way communication, a critical skill of any good leader, brings these people to full contribution. If you are fast paced and minimize communication, these expressive types feel shunned. You are leaving the profit they bring by the wayside.

  3. Analytic personality types work with ordered thought. They have much to contribute if you allow for some ordered discussion. If you are brainstorming, take a small pause to capture the analytic’s ideas. If you are a very creative leader, summarize your thoughts in an ordered manner after your creativity. If you skip the order, you leave analytic types frustrated and the value they can provide, untapped.

  4. Driver personality types crave end results and achievement. Give them the big picture, highlight critical milestones and risks, and then let them deliver the results. If you micro-manage them or demand they focus on every tiny detail, they feel trapped and annoyed. Although many people dislike micro-management, driver types resent it. You are keeping them from the brass ring! They may look for a new job that gives them a less obstructed run toward success.



If you are leading change and you are …

  1. Driver personality type intent on pushing through massive change, you will overwhelm other personality types. Don’t issue announcements. Hold all hands meetings. Don’t tell them to stop complaining. Find their concerns and have them develop solutions with you. If you want the employees to implement the change, engage who they are. Else you will not tap the profit of personality types. The change will die a slow death.

  2. Amiable personality type, you can get caught up in feelings and bonding instead of leading through the tough moments. Don’t get stuck. Use your incredible bonding skills to rally support for the change. Engage everyone’s talent to make it happen.

  3. Analytic personality type, you may demand too much information before making decisions. The change effort can falter. Trust the other personality types on the team and profit from their ability to move change along faster with a little less data.

  4. Expressive personality type, you can shine in organizational change because you love to communicate. Yet, you must remember to engage in two-way communication. Don’t deafen them with your constant talk. Profit from the analytic, amiable, and driver type ideas by remembering to let them communicate too!



Great leaders ignite the talents of the team members they have. To engage and lead employees, adapt to their personality types and reap the profits.


If instead you revel in the comfort of your own personality type, you will leave the profit for the next adaptable leader.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related post:
GPS Your Brain to Work With Any Personality Type
The 12 Most Absurd Debates Between Introverts & Extroverts
People Skills Insight Revealed for Introverts & Extroverts

©2011-2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships: Our People Skills Chat Topic Jan. 11th

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Jan. 11, 2015 on Twitter at 10AM ET. Hashtag: #peopleskills


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People Skills Chat Topic: Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships

Join us Sunday Jan. 11th 10am ET to discuss ending toxic interactions & relationships. In or outside of work, our interactions can be positive and productive if we create them. Our co-host for this great topic is Sonia Harris @harrisonia, owner/CEO of Harris Commerce, enhancing brands through events and creative digital imaging. Thanks Sonia for suggesting this valuable topic.


Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships: Image is People skills logo

Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

People Skills Chat: Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships

When we think about how many interactions we have each day, the healthier the better! Toxic interactions — left too long — can become toxic relationships. As we start a new year of people skills chat, we are exploring choices that make for a healthy year.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • What exactly are toxic interactions and relationships?
  • What attitudes and behaviors characterize toxic interactions and relationships?
  • How do toxic relationships affect people and the future?
  • “Turn the other cheek.” Does it apply to dealing with toxic interactions and relationships?
  • How can you avoid and/or escape toxic interactions at work?
  • Toxic interactions among team members: How do they stay alive and how do you cure them?
  • How can you be patient with people yet not tolerate toxic behaviors?
  • What leadership behaviors do you find toxic?
  • How do you deal with a toxic leader/manager?
  • How do great leaders create non-toxic environments and relationships?
  • People Skills: How do they fix toxic interactions and create positive ones?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.


Bring your experience, curiosity, a beverage, and join the global #peopleskills Twitter chat Sun. Jan 11th, 10am ET to explore ending toxic interactions and relationships.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to this week’s co-host Sonia Harris @harrisonia. Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Jan. 11th, 10am ET/7am PT to share your insights and perspective ending toxic interactions and relationships.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sunday Jan. 11, 2015, in global #peopleskills Twitter chat 10am ET to discuss ending toxic interactions and relationships.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Chronic Complainers: Great Leaders Ignite Their Contribution

If some of your employees are chronic complainers, don’t focus on the complaining. You get what you focus on. If you want them to contribute, focus on contribution.

Great leaders do not snap at chronic complainers with the disdainful phrase stop whining. They ignite contribution without silencing people or squashing morale.


Chronic Complainers: Image is sketched figure saying I complain therefore I am.

Chronic Complainers: 5 Ways Leaders Ignite Their Contribution. Image by Dushan Wegner.

Image by Dushan Wegner via Flickr Creative Commons License.

5 Ways Great Leaders Ignite Contributions from Chronic Complainers

Leaders, as you feel your frustration with chronic complainers rising, ask yourself why they bother you? Do you feel stuck? Do you wonder how you’ll succeed while they spend time complaining?

Great leaders have these feelings too. They respond by …

  • Replacing the shoulds with communication. Great leaders don’t get stuck in their own expectations. If you find yourself thinking, employees should stop complaining, get busy eliciting employees ideas. It takes out of your own anger and self-focus and into the influence of leadership.

  • Modeling the positive to override the negative. The best way to teach behavior is to show the actions. When chronic complainers dump doubts on everyone, ask them for one way to make the situation better. If they complain some more, politely interrupt them. “I heard what you don’t like. How can we fix it?” Consistently interrupt the complaint with a sincere request for ideas.

  • Sharing power and responsibility. I’ve seen great leaders repeatedly turn chronic complainers into star performers. The leaders empower them to be accountable for results. This goes to the heart of someone’s self-image. A new reality evokes new behavior and eventually a modified self-image.

    Conversely, if you are a micro-manager or a highly controlling leader, you breed complaints. Employees complain when they feel they have no power.



  • Applauding initiative. Great leaders honor people who contribute ideas and solutions. They give recognition to the person for the action. They highlight why initiative matters. This is not the same thing as rewarding success. If you want less complaining and more initiative, reward and appreciate initiative.

  • Correcting themselves when they complain. Anybody can lapse into a complaint. In fact, “stop complaining” and “stop whining” are themselves complaints and whines. They express frustration without offering solutions. When you slip into this, stop yourself. Illustrate how you turn around your own behavior and you model it for everyone.



Chronic complainers are driven by embarrassment, fear, insecurity, and feelings of powerlessness. Interrupt this behavior through awareness, communication, and empowerment.



Ignite contributions and breed accountability. Show everyone what it is. Replace demeaning stop whining decrees with behavior that inspires contribution and green lights success.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership: Breed Accountability Not Blame
Professional People Skills: 6 Ways to Respond to Constant Fault Finders

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

The 12 People Skills of Remarkable Collaboration & Teamwork

In my latest post on LinkedIn, I highlight the 12 people skills you need to succeed when you don’t have official authority.

These are essential for cross teamwork, collaboration, ad hoc team interaction, project completion, team leadership, and career success!


12 People Skills. Image is circle of humans holding hands.

The 12 People Skills of Remarkable Collaboration & Teamwork. Image via Istock.com.

Image licensed via Istock.com

Develop & Excel: The 12 People Skills of Collaboration!

Read my latest on LinkedIn The 12 People Skills to Succeed Without Authority and watch your collaboration, teamwork, and career success multiply.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Professional People Skills: Find Solutions, Not Fault


Professional People Skills: Image is a poem about listing positives.

Professional People Skills: How to Deal w/ Fault Finders Image by:ANDI

Image by ANDI via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Finding fault stops progress; finding solutions ignites success. I posted that on Twitter and many re-tweeted it. Some sent replies and this one caught my eye:


How  do  you deal with chronic fault finders?

A great question.



Dealing with chronic fault finders can demoralize a team. In Dr. Robert Sutton’s book Good Boss, Bad Boss he notes: “Teams with downers produce 40-60% less than teams without them.”

That rang true to me. When I am around chronic fault finders, I feel like I am pushing a truck up a hill without a motor.

Conversely, when I am around people who focus on finding solutions, their professional people skills, energy, and ideas are uplifting. It’s a heavenly duo of optimism and realism.

Professional People Skills: Dealing w/ Chronic Fault Finders

So what professional people skills approach would you use to deal with chronic fault finders?

  1. Are they aware that they come across as negative? You might think this is a ridiculous question yet many people never think about how they appear to others. Ask them for their ideas and solutions. If someone is going to change their behavior, first they must see their behavior for what it is to others.

  2. Use the power of the written “what if”. Ask them: “What if we each write down some possible solutions and then share them?” By going to the written form, you create a spotlight for the positive. The chronic fault finders will see their behavior more clearly if they have suddenly have nothing to share.

  3. If the fault finding continues, ask them “What does fault finding mean to you or do for you?” It asks without accusing. If they are finding fault with ideas without offering new ones, they are resisting change. If they are finding fault with people, it generally shows their fear or insecurity. In either case, communication about finding fault can get them to move past it.

  4. Spot their personality type. Driver types are so focused on the end result they assume that others are too. They skip telling you the positive aspects of your idea to reach success more quickly. If you are not a driver personality type, you may see this as negativity and finding fault. Let the driver personality type know that looking at the positives and negatives helps you reach the end result.

  5. Take what is valuable. Set limits on the rest. If they are highlighting the risks or flaws in an idea, use their comments to make things better. If they are attacking you personally, set limits appropriately. “I treat people with respect. I ask the same in return.” This is a professional people skills response to inappropriate behavior.

  6. Leave it behind. There are times in your personal and work life where you may choose to walk (not run) away from a chronic fault finder. It is a viable choice when done with prior thought and awareness. Being around positive people can change your life.



Picture a team of inventors. They look at each failed attempt as a positive step toward creating a great result. They don’t point fingers at who suggested it and spend time blaming. They are alive with energy and ideas to reach a solution.


Chronic fault finding comes from fear, selfishness, and low emotional intelligence. When you face that negativity, your self-confidence, optimism, and emotional intelligence rise about it and enable a professional people skills response.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Two Magical Words That Expand and Improve Interactions


Two Magical Words: Image is a magician's wand & hat.

Magical Words for Great Interactions and People Skills Source:Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com.

As you read the title of this post, you might immediately think of please and thank you as the two magical words for great people skills.  While they are critical for positive interactions, there are two magical words that supersede them by having an impact from just thinking them!

What do you think the two magical words are?


Click to reveal the two magical words their impact on teamwork, collaboration, and innovation.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Handling Immature Teammates, Bosses, and Family is this week’s chat topic.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Nov. 9, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EST. Hashtag: #peopleskills


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Handling Immature Teammates, Bosses, & Family

People develop different levels of emotional intelligence and maturity. What happens when you must interact with people less mature than you?



Handling Immature Teammates & Bosses: Image is People skills logo

Handling Immature Teammates & Bosses: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Handling Immature Teammates, Bosses, and Family!

Handling immature teammates and bosses — not to mention family — presents some special challenges. JOIN us Sunday 10am EST in #peopleskills global Twitter chat to share ideas and tips on this universal predicament.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • How do you define immaturity? Is it purely a matter of comparison?
  • What are some mature people skills behaviors and what does it feel like to be mature?
  • What emotions and conditions trigger immature behavior?
  • How is immaturity different from free spirited fun?
  • Is maturity a straight line path of growth or does it come and go?
  • Which immature behaviors undermine teamwork?
  • How would you respond to immature teammate behavior?
  • How do immature bosses/leaders behave & how do they impact those they lead?
  • What can employees do to help their boss/leader mature?
  • How do great people skills help you respond maturely to immature behavior?

These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday Nov. 9, 10am EST in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your experience, insight, and perspective on handling immature teammates, bosses and family.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Nov. 9, 2014, 10am EST/7am PST to share your insights, perspective, and experience on handling immature teammates, bosses, and family.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. Nov. 9, 2014, 10am EST to explore handling immature teammates in our #Peopleskills Global Twitter Chat.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Emotionally Intelligent Teamwork: 10 Ways to Work With Immature Teammates


Is it possible work well with immature teammates when you have developed your emotional intelligence? Yes.

It may not be as enjoyable as working with emotionally intelligent teammates. However, it’s very possible!


Emotionally Intelligent: Image of Marianne Williamson quote.

Emotionally Intelligent Teamwork w/ Emotionally Unintelligent Teammages Graphic via VeryBestQuotes.com

Image via VeryBestQuotes.Com

10 Steps for Emotionally Intelligent Teamwork w/ Less Intelligent Teammates

Most everyone agrees that emotionally intelligent teammates produce better than immature staff who squabble, waffle, and veer off course. It’s also true that teams often have some less emotionally unintelligent team members.

As the goals and deadlines loom, your emotional intelligence can help everyone reach success.



  1. Spot emotionally unintelligent teammates early on. Use your emotional intelligence to spot annoying behavior for what it is. With your positive energy, you will inspire productive teamwork instead of being trapped in annoyance.

  2. Step forward with calm confidence. With your calm confidence, you can accomplish much with immature teammates. They will be drawn to you as a pillar of support.

  3. Influence everyone with your emotionally intelligent humility. Respond to overactive egos with the strength of humility. It flows with quiet power to reach any goal. It smooths resistance. It cuts through immature egos without threatening them. Humility builds trust through its selfless giving. With that influence, you and the team can accomplish anything.

  4. Listen beyond your boundaries. Go beyond your reactions to teammates’ immaturity and listen to draw people magically together. Listening builds understanding. It reduces gaps to accomplish the impossible.

  5. Tune into human needs. Be aware of what immature teammates need to feel secure. Offer empathy, validation, and support. You free them from the emotional needs that trap them and then they contribute to the team. This is not the same thing as fake schmoozing. When your heart cares, your behavior is authentic.

  6. Let your leadership shine. As odd as it sounds, your immature teammates give you many chances to lead. Great leaders don’t drown around people who have less ability. They lead them. Do it happily.

  7. Be realistic. Expect the immaturity and celebrate the growth. Once you spot teammates’ weaknesses, don’t waste your time hoping they will change immediately. Live life as it is not as you think it should be. As they evolve, celebrate their growth.

  8. Be very grateful for your emotional intelligence. It gives you much success and happiness. When you meet immature teammates, be grateful for the maturity you’ve developed. Gratitude keeps your emotional intelligence alive and active. Share your gift!


  9. Set limits intelligently. For example, if a teammate’s immaturity shows you great disrespect, ask for basic human respect: “I would like simple respect. I give it to you and I would like it in return.” Respect is the basis for trust and teamwork. Bring the issue to the table. They may get defensive at first. Eventually, they will see the fairness in it and respond appropriately. By communicating your needs, you give them a chance to evolve.

  10. Buoy yourself. Associate with other emotionally intelligent people. Working with immature teammates can be taxing. Recharge your batteries, inside and outside of work, with others who are as capable as you. Refueling keeps everyone evolving, energized, and working at peak performance.






Let your emotional intelligence shine and elevate the team. Your generosity will come back to you tenfold.



How has your emotional intelligence helped your teammates?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:

5 Steps to Develop Emotional Intelligence
Positive Attitudes for Dealing With Toxic Leaders

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Millennials Success: 5 Ways to Be Included Not Just Recognized!


Millennials Success: Image is Gold puzzle pieces fitting together.

Millennials Success: Be Included Not Just Recognized Image via Istock.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com


I keep reading articles about what millennials want at work. For millennials success, my advice is …





Being recognized says, “We see you.” Being included says, “We need you and we trust you.” Millennials success, just like anyone’s, depends on being needed and trusted.

Millennials Success: 5 Ways to Be Included Not Just Recognized

Being different can get you recognized yet it won’t necessarily get you included or trusted. Differences create gaps that subconsciously trigger mistrust.

Flex and adapt to others and they will recognize AND include you. As you close the gaps, mistrust fades into comfort and eventually trust.

  1. Dress with some individual expression yet not too much. How you dress tells others whether you want to connect with them. Too different says, “Look how different I am.” Somewhat similar to others says, “Yes I want to connect.” As the saying goes, when in Rome, do as the Romans.

  2. Show your endurance and forbearance. Being needed and trusted grows from your ability to endure and tolerate situations (and people) you don’t like. Everyone faces a difficult road. Show emotional intelligence and willingness to work through others’ flaws.


  3. DifficultRoadsOftenLeadtoBeautifulDestinations


  4. Bring your exuberance and curiosity. Moderate your exuberance with curiosity about others. Too much of “here’s my view” without enough “what’s your view” will get you recognized but not needed, trusted, and included. Show true interest in others and you build empathy based trust.

  5. Offer your talents and technology know-how but don’t expect immediate acceptance. Millennials success comes from offering the new while valuing the status quo. Otherwise others may see you as a narrow-minded naive know-it-all.

  6. Act empowered not entitled. Empowerment gives; entitlement takes. Whom would you trust more? Someone who walks in asking others to do for them or someone who walks in contributing? Contributors become needed and trusted.



To do these things without resentment, remember that inclusion doesn’t mean assimilation. You can be included — needed and trusted — without being completely assimilated and fading into the background.


Inclusion doesn’t mean you lose you. It’s not …



Inclusion is not assimilation. You can still be you!

Inclusion is not assimilation. You can still be you!

Image via Robin Hood from Loxley




Whether starting a career or changing jobs, most people hope to be acknowledged. It’s wonderful to be recognized at work.


Yet being recognized is not enough. Being included signals that you are needed and also trusted for respecting and accommodating others. Eccentrics, celebrities, and upstarts are recognized yet not always trusted and seen as necessary.


For millennials success at work, be included. It’s far better than just being recognized!


Your turn: What else breeds career success?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Career Communication: Too Much Playing Can Be Hazardous
The 8 Ins and Outs of Business People Skills
Courtesy Checklist: 10 Superior Ways to Lead, Serve, & Collaborate
Accountability: People Skills Secrets Revealed

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Empowered Not Entitled: Communicating for Success

Team members, picture yourselves as leaders or managers. Would you want to lead and manage empowered employees or entitled ones?

The responses overwhelmingly come back, empowered not entitled. Leaders and managers agree too. The question is why?





Empowered Not Entitled: Image is 3 hands.

Communicate You Are Empowered Not Entitled. Image licensed from Istock.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com


Empowered Not Entitled: When Everyone Serves, Everyone Wins!

Empowered team members engage and contribute for maximum success. They step up; they don’t sit back. They give to everyone; they don’t wait to receive. When everyone serves, everyone wins.


Communicate You Are Empowered Not Entitled

  1. Give more than you request.
  2. Correct your mistakes and help others to mend theirs.
  3. Offer sincere apologies when you impact others badly.
  4. Focus on everyone succeeding not getting what others have.
  5. Create your rewards by contributing your talents and effort vs. demanding rewards now.



Bold Illustration
One team member emailed his manager, “I would like to work from home three days a week. How can you make this happen for me?” The language he used communicated he felt entitled. He expected others to do for him. This attitude is a dead weight against success. It burdens and weighs down leaders, managers, and teams.


The manager explained that she wasn’t his concierge. If he wanted to explore new ideas, he should first ask if it’s possible, offer what he would do to make it happen, and outline the benefits to the organization. This is how you communicate you are empowered not entitled!






If a team were comprised of all entitled team members, what would it accomplish? Conversely empowered team members engage and contribute for all to win. Are you a welcome contributor or an annoying maverick?





Empowered not entitled: Show your team & company what you can do for them!



“Never stand begging for that which you have the power to earn.” ~Miguel de Cervantes



Leaders, do your part. Reward contribution not just bold requests for promotion.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Accountability Legacy: People Skills Secrets Revealed
Teamwork: Are You a Welcome Contributor or an Annoying Maverick?
Teamwork Collaboration: Leadership Beliefs That Kill It

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: Risk Free Success!


Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: Image is person breaking through and emerging through a wall.

Listening Beyond Our Boundaries. Image licensed from Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com


We succeed in leadership, teamwork, employee engagement, customer service and relationships in general when we listen beyond our boundaries.

Listening beyond our boundaries solves problems and prevents problems. It turns perceived gaps into understanding. It magically draws people together to do the impossible. There is nothing to stop us.


All we need to do is get started!


Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: 2 Minute Quick Start Video









When has listening beyond your boundaries created surprising results?

How can we help others to listen beyond their boundaries?

Or must everyone do it on their own?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Listening Responsibility: Listen While We Speak!

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership: Do You See a Generation Gap or an Intersection?


Every day  I hear leaders talk about the generation gap in the workplace.  I read about it blogs.  My reaction is, it’s an intersection — not a gap!


When the leadership in an organization see and focus on the differences, they widen the gap.  When the leadership see the possibilities at the intersection of talents, the gap narrows and even disappears.



Leadership: Find the Generation Intersections!

Gaps among diverse people are temporary not permanent. Consider how many times gaps have faded into sudden connection and teamwork in everyday life …

  • Disparate groups — even mistrustful factions — who pull together in a major crisis to save lives
  • Prospects who don’t want to talk to a sales person — until the sales rep finds the common ground
  • Private venture capitalists who embrace very young entrepreneurs when high potential and profit is staring them in the face
  • Very young entrepreneurs who truly welcome older experienced investors and advisers to increase success



Everyone Has a Story
We’ve all seen grandparents captivate their grandchildren with stories of the past. My young niece, when hearing me tell funny stories about relatives she never knew, blurted out “tell more stories!” This was after a long holiday meal where she was the only child at the table. You would think she would have been bored. No! She wanted to connect/intersect with generations she never knew.

What common elements turn the generation gap into an intersection?

  1. Positive, fun, upbeat, hopeful moments
  2. Possibilities and abundance for everyone not exclusions and shortage of opportunities
  3. Mutual gain from respecting diverse talents and views
  4. Higher calling or need as in a crisis

Leadership Generations Intersection: Image is intersecting circles.

Leadership Generations Intersection Not Gap via Istock.com.




What can leadership do to create these intersections?

  1. Create positive opportunities for the generations to intersect.
  2. Highlight the abundance of success that awaits instead of the tough times and narrowing opportunities.
  3. Team build with employees’ stories. The generations intersect as they see common human needs and responses emerge and merge.




Images licensed from Istock.com

Why bother? Because …




Leaders, help the generations to intersect. The time is now. I have many team building programs to make this happen. Let’s do it!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Teamwork Posts:
Leadership: 5 Essentials to Build 21st Century Teams
Leadership People Skills: 5 Ways to Spark Team Agility

©2013-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Exceptional Empowerment: Do Employees Think They Can’t Ask You?

Empower your employees! This has become the leadership mantra of the decade. It develops new talent. It prevents the horror of micro-managing BUT …


Do empowered employees believe they must go it alone?


Leaders, if you want the results of exceptional empowerment, make it clear that it’s OK to tap expertise.






Exceptional Empowerment: Image is flying statues.

Exceptional Empowerment: Includes Mentoring & Collaboration Image by Martin Pettitt via Flickr.

Grateful for image by Martin Pettitt via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Exceptional Empowerment: Include Input & Collaboration

When leaders first try empowering employees, they often go astray. They mistakenly communicate to employees to go it alone.


“Don’t ask me. You’re empowered!”


That statement undermines empowerment. Avoid this risk. Finish the statement.


“Don’t ask me for permission. You’re empowered.”

 

Those two extra words, for permission, make a big difference. Empowered employees don’t ask for permission. They ask for input, knowledge, and perspective.


Leadership Steps to Exceptional Empowerment

  • Mentor. Empower with knowledge and experience. Don’t go from micro-managing to abandonment. Share your knowledge. Mentor through questions instead of leading with commands.

  • Distinguish exploring from struggling. Throwing someone into the deep end unprepared creates struggle. Sharing knowledge empowers exploration. The former can leave unproductive scars. The latter fuels greatness. Training wheels on a bicycle don’t stop the learning. Riders still have to peddle and steer around obstacles.

  • Define empowerment as development and sharing power — not delegation. Development suggests learning and growth. It shares power through knowledge and collaboration.

    Delegation doesn’t empower. It assigns responsibility. The delegators still have the power. Those delegated to represent those doing the delegating. This is not empowerment.





Make a smart start to exceptional empowerment. Don’t go from a hierarchical, solo work culture, directly to empowerment. Shift to a collaborative culture first. It makes sharing knowledge the norm. Exceptional empowerment in the organization develops easily from there.


Your turn: Do you empower people to collaborate or to go it alone?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Teamwork Collaboration: Leadership Beliefs That Kill It
The True Cost of Fake Empowerment

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Teamwork Collaboration: Leaders, Is Your Competitive Spirit Killing It?


Teamwork Collaboration Killers: Image is large foot stepping on a person.

Teamwork Collaboration: Leadership Beliefs That Kill It! Image via Istock.com.

Image licensed via Istock.com


Business owners and leaders hold a competitive spirit in high regard. They often have it and hire for it. They say, “without a competitive spirit how would a business succeed, right? Not necessarily.


Today’s business environment also requires tremendous teamwork collaboration. Innovation needs it. Sales needs it. Superior customer experience needs it. Project completion needs it. In truth, teamwork collaboration is absolutely essential for business success.





It doesn’t have to.



Teamwork Collaboration: Check Your Competitive Beliefs!

Leaders, what are your competitive beliefs doing to your teams’ interaction and collaboration? It’s an important question. Attitude and beliefs drive your behavior and the culture of your organization.

  1. Do you equate collaboration with weakness, laziness, even failure? Your initial answer may be no! Do your actions prove that out? Do you truly value, respect, and elevate high collaborators?

    Do you see collaborators as leaders who can build that culture? Or do you place them under competitive employees? Whom do you promote to a higher position? Great collaborators or individualists with a competitive spirit?


  2. Do you believe collaborators need coddling? In a recent chat, one leader proclaimed he doesn’t have time to coddle people. He prefers competitive types. Coddle?

    True collaborators are not super sensitive people who demand constant support. They are talented employees who know how to initiate ideas and work with others to reach a collective result. If you believe you must coddle collaborators, you may kill teamwork collaboration.


  3. Do you believe that progress stagnates without rivalry and competition? Some people need rivalry to work hard. Yet, natural collaborators find it a huge turnoff. To them it’s distracting. They are already motivated to work hard with others. Rivalry is the antithesis of this.

  4. Do you think that competition builds strength, confidence and backbones? Not in everyone. Many collaborators are motivated through synergy of talents not contests of conquering. Moreover, natural collaborators are not spineless weak adults who lack confidence. They are strong enough to have their own voice and honor others’ as well.

    Leaders, how are your team members motivated? Through competition or collaboration? If you are leading with a competitive philosophy because it’s comfortable for you, you may be killing teamwork collaboration.




How well do you understand the collaborative mind?


Leaders inspire teamwork collaboration when they …

  • Know their teams members and what inspires them. “Celebrate those who compete, celebrate those who collaborate. An ocean refuses no river.” ~@AJManik

  • Recognize when competition is creating a deadlock and help team members see why it’s happening. This is important when you have competitors and collaborators on the same team.

  • Overcome the myth that collaboration is everyone thinking the same thing. It isn’t. It’s diverse views without the mindset of who’s right/wrong and who’s going to win. Help team members learn to disagree with respect, to reach collaborative results.

  • Remember that initiative is different from competition. Initiative and a can-do attitude are always valuable. They keep the business moving toward success. Yet, competition sometimes kills much needed teamwork collaboration.

  • Address domineering non-collaborators even if they are great individual performers. If you justify their behavior with their results you undermine teamwork collaboration.








What progress truly requires is initiative, can-do attitudes, critical thinking, innovation, and great execution. You can find this in both natural competitors AND collaborators. Know who you are leading and inspire them to great heights!


Competitor or collaborator – Which do you think makes a better leader?

Which do you prefer as a leader?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Book Keynotes:
GPS Your Brain to Work w/ Any Personality Type
Leaders, Be a Buoy of Inspiration & Balance


More Blog Posts on Related Topics:
Are You an Annoying Maverick or a Welcome Initiator?
Teamwork Collaboration: Do You Welcome People In or Push Them Out?

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

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