Leadership People Skills: Achieve Vision With Values vs Ultimatums

Leadership People Skills: Vision & Values Not Ultimatums

Leadership People Skills: Image is 3 Gold Rings Connected

Leadership People Skills: Respect, Honor, Engage. Image via Istock.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com

We applaud leaders with strong clear vision. We applaud them if they can communicate it in a way that respects, engages, and influences others vs. browbeating them.

We disengage from leaders with poor leadership people skills no matter how incredible the vision. The vision then slows, fades, or dies altogether.


Leadership people skills aren’t fluff!

They are the expression of values vs. ultimatums.

They respect, honor, and engage people to realize the vision.

Leadership People Skills: What Threatens Their Greatness?

Today’s leaders have embraced leadership people skills as critical to success. Many realize the importance of emotional intelligence and social acumen to engage others. They are working to find the balance between their commitment for their vision AND engaging others to commit.

Here’s what can trip up great leadership people skills:

  1. Unshared Values.
  2. Without shared values, what connects people? Sometimes dire need and life/death situations bind people together. Yet beyond true crises, absence of shared values is a huge void that disengages. A common goal is not enough!

    Leaders, what values do you and your employees or constituents share? If you can’t easily answer that, make this a priority. Else it will plague every interaction and slow results.

  3. Feeling Trapped.
  4. When leaders feel trapped in tough moments, they often resort to combative negative replies. It’s a common human response. When Governor Chris Christie of NJ was making reforms to the public schools, one unhappy constituent asked him “Where do your kids go to school?” His reply: None of your business where they go to school. (His children go to parochial schools.) His reply was most likely driven by the “uh oh” moment. Trapped in a possible contradiction.

    Avoid the trap by using a basic tenet, empathize before you analyze. It stops the negative response. In this example, his response would be something like: “I can see that these reforms are tough right now. I know they will lead to better education through a sound financial base. As a Catholic, I choose to send my kids to parochial school. As governor, I work toward better education for everyone.” Leadership people skills allow you to overcome the trap of anger by giving empathy. Clear thinking flows from there.

  5. High Need for Control.
  6. The stronger the need for control, the greater the chance your leadership people skills will suffer. Fear of sharing power stops listening and that disengages others. It brings leaders to mistake listening for capitulation. Listening is the pathway to engaging others. Basic logic: With listening you see how others think. With this information, you can inspire, influence, and increase commitment to your vision.

    Leaders, replace the need to be right with the success of influence!

Take some time and answer these two questions:

  • When do my leadership people skills naturally shine?
  • When do they fail me, the people I lead, and the vision?

Note how you respond in the good times. You can apply your natural pattern to most situations. You need only be aware of what triggers your outbursts and ultimatums. Replace those responses with empathy for those involved and insight to influence them.

Outstanding leadership people skills are not fluff! They respect, honor, and engage everyone to reach the vision.

What examples of outstanding leadership people skills would you like to share here?

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Leaders, 10 Essential Thoughts to Proficient People Skills
12 Most Beneficial People Skills to Succeed When You Have Little Power

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

5 Responses to “Leadership People Skills: Achieve Vision With Values vs Ultimatums”

  1. Greg Marcus says:

    Kate – great post. It is values that often drive our behavior. I think the best way to understand someone’s values is to see how they act. I love the Christie example. Clearly empathizing with people is not important to him – he needs to be in charge and in control all the time.

    I see a differentiation between different types of values. I see here what I call “people-first values.” Think of it as a combination of the Golden Rule with the right to defend yourself. I cringe when I hear a leader say “you need to do what is best for the company.” I call that kind of attitude “corporate idolatry.” Best for the company is not the same as what is best for people. A leader should always strive to do what is best for people – customers, employees. In the long run, that will indeed be what is best for the company.

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