People Skills: The Secret Within Every Great Communicator! #peopleskills
by Kate Nasser |
People Skills: What motivates great communicators?
Much is written on what great communicators do. Much is written about how they benefit others. Yet not much is written on why great communicators focus on great expression.
What motivates them? Does communication meet some inner need? Perhaps knowing this can help everyone interact and work better together.
People Skills: The Secret Motivation of Great Communicators
What is it that great communicators get out of great communication? What inner need does it meet? Some say …
- Need to influence others. Possibly. Yet that desire would ebb and flow. Great communicators communicate consistently. Their communication and people skills are always present.
- Strong need to connect. Sounds plausible. Yet many people have the strong human need to connect with others and don’t focus on great communication.
- Great need to help others. Could well be true. Still many people with the “helper’s high” motivation — also known as high altruism — are not great communicators.
- There is no need. They were just born that way. Hmmm. I do believe in inborn traits. Yet most people focus and further develop the behaviors that give them what they like, want, and need.
So what is it that great communicators want that great communication gives them?
Great communicators find security, comfort, and protection in communication. To them it is the one light on a very dark road. The key to an unknown future. The way to minimize risk and mitigate danger.
Great communicators not only give great communication, they want it in return. Refuse to communicate with great communicators and you will see their frustration spike. Withhold information from great communicators and they will forge ahead and go around you to get what they need.
Ask great communicators to complete this sentence: “I communicate because it _________________________.” You may get different answers yet underneath all the replies will be the connection between security and communication.
What People Skills Lessons to Learn From This Need for Security?
All humans have some need for security. How much varies and how they meet that need varies. Some fill it more through introspection and less expression. Others meet it through great communication.
Alas the ever present people skills struggle between introverts and extroverts, between analytics and expressives, and between amiables and drivers. The good news is the differences are not permanent blocks!
- Be very self-aware of how you fill your need for security. Whether it’s through deep introspection or great communication, the need can also make you inflexible. The awareness can counteract that and make you adaptable. Every relationship — at work and home — requires flexibility and adaptation to others’ needs.
- Leaders, be aware of the security needs of those you lead. Great leadership communication anticipates and meets the diverse needs of many to engage everyone. If you expect everyone to be just like you, it will limit the reach and effectiveness of your leadership. There are leaders who meet their own security needs through introspection and lose patience with employees who need a high level of communication. Likewise, leaders who find security in communication often dismiss employees who are more introspective. Neither results in great leadership.
- Teammates, understand the security needs of each other. Your collaboration will soar when you understand what makes each person feel secure enough to takes necessary risks.
People so rarely speak about their need for security yet underneath it is affecting every interaction. Be aware of the need and you limit how much it can limit you!
What gives you a sense of security? Communication, introspection, or ____________?
From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™
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Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.
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