attitude

Mental Toughness: Starts w/ Emotional Intelligence!


Mental Toughness: Image is Book Cover

Mental Toughness: 52 Tips fr LaRae Quy




What do you think is the key to surmounting tough obstacles?

  1. Emotional Intelligence
  2. Relationships
  3. Positive thinking
  4. Mental toughness


The obvious answer is mental toughness.  Yet the truth is all of the above — because mental toughness actually requires emotional intelligence, honest relationships, and positive thinking.   So says former FBI agent LaRae Quy and author of Mental Toughness: 52 Tips to Recognizing & Utilizing Your Greatest Strengths.

As The People Skills Coach™, what struck me about LaRae’s new book was that the first section is all about emotional intelligence.  It’s not what most people consider when they think of mental toughness.



It makes sense explained LaRae in my recent interview and discussion with her.  She coaches many people to become self-aware.  “Know your hot buttons and how not to react.”  This has great implications for individual achievement AND people skills of interaction. Leading teams, engaging employees, productive collaboration, selling and serving customers, etc…

“You can master the majority of tough human interactions better with emotional intelligence than with a hammer and tough approach.  There are moments and exigent circumstances that require the gruff exterior yet it is not the norm.”


LaRae also highlights the difference between mastery versus success.  She stresses: “An attitude of success actually leads to mediocrity. We see it as a fixed arrival point that we never want to leave.  We RIP – retire in place or rest in peace depending on how you look at it. On the other hand, mastery is a growth mindset.  We focus on mastering that moment and then asking what’s next? Experimenting and learning brings clarity!”

SURPRISE: If you want to develop mental toughness, don’t think about success.  Focus on experimenting and mastery!


Q: So what are the specific benefits to developing mental toughness?

LaRae Quy: “Breakthroughs! The grit and resilience to know that you will prevail over the challenge instead of waiting for the circumstances to change.”

Whether it is workplace interaction issues, a project team facing seemingly insurmountable obstacles, a leader trying to reignite employees’ passion and commitment, start with La Rae’s top 3 tips for mental toughness:

  1. Become self-aware
  2. Develop healthy honest relationships to support each other
  3. Practice positive thinking. Neuroscience research shows that it takes five positive thoughts to overcome one negative.

This speaks to how important leaders’ inspiring words and positive attitudes matter to morale, engagement and performance.  Mental toughness is not about acting and talking tough.  It is rooted in understanding yourself and others to overcome obstacles and achieve some mastery.


Mental Toughness: Getting Started

To get started in developing your mental toughness, La Rae advises you to learn what mental toughness is and is not. Become self-aware, understand others, bring clarity to any challenge, and practice positive thinking.

I can’t think of a better way for you to do this than to buy and read La Rae’s refreshing and wonderfully written book Mental Toughness: 52 Tips to Recognize & Utilize Your Greatest Strengths.  I chose the Kindle version and digested it as quickly as my finger could swipe each page.

You can also connect with LaRae on her blog, on Twitter, and LinkedIn to engage her insights and gritty experience.



Thanks LaRae for this great book and the interview!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
5 Steps to Develop Emotional Intelligence
10 Steps to Emotionally Intelligent Teamwork

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Irresistible Customer Experience Loyalty – Do’s & Don’ts Part II

In part one of delivering irresistible customer experience, we focused on what every customer wants. The next step, irresistible customer experience loyalty comes with consistency in being irresistible! And yes, it is doable. Apple, Ritz Carleton, Nordstroms, Zappos, all deliver it through relationships!

Irresistible Customer Experience Loyalty: Image is a Magnet drawing things inward.

Irresistible Customer Experience Loyalty: Do’s & Don’s Part II



Do’s and Don’ts of Irresistible Customer Experience Loyalty – Part II

An irresistible customer experience:

  • Is pleasurable.
  • Makes customers feel wanted.
  • Gives customers something they really want.
  • Surprises customers with something positive that they didn’t even know we wanted.
  • Gets better and better each time.
  • Reawakens pleasant feelings they had before.
  • Prevents or relieves difficulty or pain.
  • Elevates customers in some way and puts them in a positive light.




DOs/Don’ts:

  1. Greet customers w/ zeal and focus. Don’t use robotic greetings that seem disinterested.
  2. Show individual interest in them. Don’t queue them up like transactions.
  3. Design online and mobile interaction from the customer perspective. Get their feedback and make changes! Give your employees access to the same views to easily assist customers who call. Don’t let the silos in your company sour the customer experience.
  4. Embrace negative feedback w/ empathy and resolutions. Don’t defend with explanations and excuses. Tell the customer why the experience doesn’t make it better and repels them.
  5. Trust each customer until you have data that says otherwise. Don’t use procedures that treat every customer as a potential criminal. Irresistible customer experience loyalty comes from a trusting relationship!!
  6. Train your employees on how to build relationships & empower them to do it. Don’t reserve this training for just the sales folks. No matter what employee your customer interacts with, that interaction must draw the customer in again and again. It must virtually say “we want you not just your money.”
  7. Be flexible and adaptive. This doesn’t mean offering 100 different options. It means adjusting what you do offer to make the experience irresistible to customers. Don’t allow your metrics to become the culture. Metric-focused organizations slide into a rigid approach in service to the metrics. Serve the customer not the metric. Serve the customer and you’ll meet the metric.




Let’s do a workshop to train, empower, and inspire your employees very soon.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
25 Worst Customer Experiences to Avoid Making the Same Mistakes w/ Your Customers
Customer Experience Superstars: Their Celebratory Give & Take!
11 Surefire Beliefs for Superior Customer Experience

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.



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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Cultivating Positive Emotions: JOIN Us in People Skills Global Twitter Chat!

WHEN: Sunday May 10, 2015 at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Background on This Chat Topic: Cultivating Positive Emotions

Negativity often dominates the news, our thoughts, and our lives. Yet there are positive emotions that are just as present and powerful. JOIN us this Sunday May 10th, 2015 as we explore cultivating positive emotions.

My co-host is Dr. Hoda Maalouf She is a university chairperson, professor, mother, and co-author of Energize Your Leadership. You can also tap her insights through her blog.



Cultivating Positive Emotions: Image is People skills logo

Cultivating Positive Emotions: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Cultivating Positive Emotions

Some questions to get us thinking in advance. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

  • Positive emotions – what picture does it bring to your mind?
  • What are some examples of positive emotions that we don’t always consider?
  • Positive emotions in difficult times: Naiveté or Strength of Attitude?
  • How have other people’s positive emotions affected you?
  • What is the relationship between positive emotions and trust?
  • “Children live what they learn.” How can parents teach positive attitude?
  • What role do negative emotions play in our lives? Anything positive?
  • We hear so much about attitude of gratitude. What is its true power for a positive life?
  • How can we cultivate positive emotions?
  • What effects do leaders’ positive emotions have on employee engagement and performance?
  • How can leaders and managers cultivate positive emotions in the workplace?
  • How can you stay positive in the face of highly negative people?
  • What role do people skills play in developing and sustaining positive emotions and a positive life?


So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join the people skills global chat community this Sunday May 10th , 2015 10am EDT on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to discuss cultivating positive emotions.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, and LinkedIn. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your individual insights.

Special thanks this week to Dr. Hoda Maalouf for co-hosting with me and continued thanks to generous chat moderators Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer, Jandis Price, Chantal Bechervaise and Tom Rhodes for their time and insightful contributions.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Chat on Twitter #peopleskills this Sunday May 10th, 2015 10am EDT/7am PDT to explore cultivating positive emotions.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. May 10th, 2015 10am EDT in People Skills Global Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) TOPIC: Cultivating Positive Emotions.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Restarting Success: Replace Regret With 7 Certainties


Restarting Success: Image is small hot air balloon next off from large one.

Restarting Success: 7 Certainties to Turn Regret Into Success Image by: chicadecasa via Flickr.

Image by chicadecasa via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Restarting Success: 7 Certainties About Beginning Again

Whether restarting with a new relationship, more schooling, a career path, a new business, relocation, or healthier living, soar with the certainties of success.

  1. Restarting success is always an option — if we choose it.
  2. Past regrets are only permanent if we choose to live them again. Change behavior.
  3. The bigger pattern of woulda, shoulda, coulda shows the true success to go after now. See the pattern and the lesson — instead of obsessing over each event.
  4. There are infinite paths to create success. Be hungry and curious! Then pick one that makes sense now.
  5. Restarting success is easier than starting — because of the lessons learned!
  6. Habit can be a bully that stops us from changing. Cast off old habits and create new ones! Begin again with new behaviors. “Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters.” ~Nathaniel Emmons.
  7. As long as we are alive, restarting success is an option. Don’t let fear say it isn’t!





Woulda, shoulda, coulda is a useless lament that keeps us stuck. Life is rich and full of opportunities if we begin again with a new mindset.

I travelled three career paths before starting my own business. Not easy but very achievable — without regrets.


When have you restarted success & where did it take you?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Want Success? Don’t Let Fear Be the Gum on Your Shoe
Give Rise to Your Success w/ These People Skills Traits

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.




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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Difficult Customer Moments: Free Your Mind!


With more than twenty years of teaching how to handle difficult customer moments, I can attest to one eternal truth:

Both the obstacle and the pathway to handing difficult moments with customers are in the mind — our minds, not theirs.



Difficult Customer Moments: Image is sign that says free your mind now!

Free Your Mind to Deliver Superior Service in Difficult Customer Moments Image by: EnvironmentBlog

Image by: Environmentblog via Creative Commons License


In Difficult Customer Moments: Free Our Minds!

First and most importantly, let’s free our minds of the disdainful phrase — difficult customer — and replace it with the empowering phrase, difficult moment. This changes our outlook from one of resentment and disregard to empowered action. We don’t resent customers and who they are. We work to remedy the difficulty.

Secondly replace our desperate lament “Why Me”, with the mind freeing phrase “What If”.



What If …

  1. The customer has goals we don’t understand yet?
  2. The customer’s personality is different from ours?
  3. There’s an urgency we are not aware of?
  4. The customer has insight beyond ours?
  5. There are cultural differences causing stress?
  6. The customer simply feels confused and worried?
  7. The customer is pressed for time?
  8. Trust is still lacking?



And What If …

  1. We listen carefully to hear what the customer is saying and not saying?
  2. We adapt to the customer’s personality type to build the bond?
  3. We explore to detect the urgent pressure?
  4. We hear the need instead of an attack to learn the bigger picture?
  5. We let the customer set the cultural bent?
  6. We clear confusion to relieve the worry?
  7. We empathize and then get to resolving the issue?
  8. We do everything we can to rebuild trust?



The phrase “What if” lights up the creative parts of our brain freeing us from the emotional trap of defensiveness. When we free our minds of labels and blame, we see and hear invaluable information, alternate views, and previously undetected possibilities.

Open-mindedness transforms the difficult customer moment from heavy burden to superior customer service. Our adaptability and new thinking show the customer our professional care and that echoes throughout the customer’s community.



Action Summary
In difficult customer moments, silently ask yourself these what ifs. This mind freeing approach will:

  • Keep you calm and caring.
  • Stop you from telling the customer “calm down.” (Don’t ever say this!)
  • Tool you with great questions to ask the customer.
  • Improve your listening.
  • Fuel you with ideas on how to resolve the problem.
  • Lift your spirit and sustain your morale.
  • Wow the customer with care and great service recovery.



When have you received great care as a customer when you were upset?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
5 Powerful Beliefs & Actions to Win Over Rude or Angry Customers
24 Customer Service Tips to Make it Easy for Customers

©2012-2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Giant Communication Blunder & One Very Easy Fix

You feel strongly about something. You want others to care about it. As you communicate with them, you hit a brick wall! What’s the problem? You built the wall!

Giant Communication Blunder: Image is brick wall w/ a one way sign on it.

Giant Communication Blunder. Image by Great Beyond via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Grateful for image by Great Beyond via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Ask yourself, have you slipped into stating questions instead of asking questions? When people feel strongly about something they often slip into stating a question that tells instead of asks.


Don’t you think? Wouldn’t it be better?


What answers do you expect? You are in tell and sell mode and pretending it is conversation and listening.

Instead of stating their true opinions, they either say “no”, say nothing, or walk away. You suddenly face the brick wall you built.


Can’t people disagree regardless of how you pose the question? Yes, some can. Will they want to bother? Very likely no.

Questions like “don’t you think” …

  • Treat others as subordinate
  • Suggest others’ views are not important
  • Demand agreement while pretending to be open-minded


This is a giant communication blunder. Who wants to scale a brick wall of pretense and arrogance — especially when they don’t care as much about your cause as you do.


One Easy Fix to This Giant Communication Blunder

State your opinion as opinion and ask open-ended questions to engage others. “What do you think?” vs. “Don’t you think?” Ask and listen.

Influence honors others with generous restraint and gentle honesty. It invites people to express their views and make their own decision.




What else do you think contributes to influential communication?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Potent Communication: 9 Easy People Skills Tips
Silence: When Is It Golden and When Not?

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Vigilance and Optimism – People Skills global Twitter chat topic.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Feb 1st, 2015 on Twitter at 10AM ET. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am ET to your local time.



Vigilance and Optimism – Opposites or Valuable Partners?

Join us Sunday Feb. 1st 10am ET to explore the balance of vigilance and optimism. Vigilance about impending trouble is sometimes seen as the enemy of optimism — hopefulness about the future. When this happens, people often frizzle in disagreement, resist each others’ views, or even avoid each other. As a human interaction consultant, I’ve seen it over and over.

That led me to to putting vigilance and optimism on the people skills chat schedule. Joining me as co-host is Dr. Hoda Maalouf, university professor with an incredible passion for human development, learning, and a peaceful world.


Vigilance and optimism: Image is People skills logo

Vigilance and optimism: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Vigilance and Optimism – Where’s the Balance?

If you keep your ears, eyes, and mind alert for trouble, does that mean you are a negative naysayer? Or is it a sign of wisdom — the way to make an optimistic view come to fruition? There are many different views on this. Thus we will explore vigilance and optimism in #Peopleskills global Twitter chat. JOIN us!

Here are some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • In your view, what is optimism? What is vigilance?
  • Can optimism and vigilance co-exist? Y/N Why?
  • What are the benefits of each?
  • Optimistic people live more satisfying lives. Agree/Disagree Why?
  • “Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.” Agree/Disagree. Impact?
  • What object/image comes to your mind that represents vigilance and optimism in harmony?
  • How can we balance vigilance and optimism if at all?
  • If you had to choose, would you rather work for a highly vigilant leader or a very optimistic leader? Why?
  • Are you vigilant, optimistic, or ________________________?
  • How does foresight and hindsight affect your view of vigilance and optimism?
  • How do great leaders use optimism and/or vigilance to lead well?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.


Bring your experience, curiosity, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday Feb. 1st 10am ET to offer your views on vigilance and optimism.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

Special thanks to Dr. Hoda Maalouf for co-hosting this topic with me!

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer, Jandis Price and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join people skills global Twitter chat (#peopleskills) this Sunday Feb. 1st 2015, 10am ET/7am PT on vigilance and optimism.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. Feb. 1st, 2015, in #peopleskills global Twitter chat 10am ET on vigilance and optimism.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships: Our People Skills Chat Topic Jan. 11th

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Jan. 11, 2015 on Twitter at 10AM ET. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am ET to your local time.



People Skills Chat Topic: Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships

Join us Sunday Jan. 11th 10am ET to discuss ending toxic interactions & relationships. In or outside of work, our interactions can be positive and productive if we create them. Our co-host for this great topic is Sonia Harris @harrisonia, owner/CEO of Harris Commerce, enhancing brands through events and creative digital imaging. Thanks Sonia for suggesting this valuable topic.


Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships: Image is People skills logo

Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

People Skills Chat: Ending Toxic Interactions & Relationships

When we think about how many interactions we have each day, the healthier the better! Toxic interactions — left too long — can become toxic relationships. As we start a new year of people skills chat, we are exploring choices that make for a healthy year.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • What exactly are toxic interactions and relationships?
  • What attitudes and behaviors characterize toxic interactions and relationships?
  • How do toxic relationships affect people and the future?
  • “Turn the other cheek.” Does it apply to dealing with toxic interactions and relationships?
  • How can you avoid and/or escape toxic interactions at work?
  • Toxic interactions among team members: How do they stay alive and how do you cure them?
  • How can you be patient with people yet not tolerate toxic behaviors?
  • What leadership behaviors do you find toxic?
  • How do you deal with a toxic leader/manager?
  • How do great leaders create non-toxic environments and relationships?
  • People Skills: How do they fix toxic interactions and create positive ones?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.


Bring your experience, curiosity, a beverage, and join the global #peopleskills Twitter chat Sun. Jan 11th, 10am ET to explore ending toxic interactions and relationships.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to this week’s co-host Sonia Harris @harrisonia. Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Jan. 11th, 10am ET/7am PT to share your insights and perspective ending toxic interactions and relationships.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sunday Jan. 11, 2015, in global #peopleskills Twitter chat 10am ET to discuss ending toxic interactions and relationships.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Toxic People: How to Stay Calm When Interacting w/ Them


I remember a colleague from years ago who remained incredibly calm in the face of toxic people. Despite the storm of frustration, she moved forward unscathed, with a positive attitude.

I asked her one day, “What’s your secret when dealing with toxic people?” She replied, “Find pleasure in frustration.”

She told me she found people infinitely intriguing and took great pleasure in seeing through, behind, and beyond the frustrating behavior.


Toxic People: Image is a Rainbow

Pleasures That Calm When Dealing With Toxic People Image by:NomadicLass

Image via Nomadic Lass via Flickr Creative Commons License.

7 Pleasures That Calm When Dealing With Toxic People

  1. Find a pleasant detour to your frustration by seeing your goal beyond the moment.

    A detour gets you to your destination if you don’t get lost in their toxic behavior. Find your own detour; don’t take theirs.


  2. Find pleasure in learning about yourself.

    As their toxic behavior peeks out, ask “what can I possibly discover from this?” Perhaps your insecurities and fears, your ethos and values, your strength to speak up, your control to hold back, your intuition, your career destiny, or your personal leadership skills.


  3. Find sanctuary in owning your energy.

    Success takes energy; channel it into your happy journey not into a toxic dump.


  4. Find pleasure as a spectator.

    See the dysfunction as a comedy or reality TV show. Enjoy the humor in the absurd behavior from the safe distance of your objectivity.


  5. Give yourself permission to escape to a more pleasant place.

    Whether you mentally escape to happier thoughts or physically move to a better place, your happiness is a choice. Whether it’s a toxic boss, a frustrating coworker, a pesky neighbor, or grating acquaintance at a hobby you enjoy, your communication choices with each can be your escape shoot to happiness.

    “If your world doesn’t allow you to dream, move to one where you can.” ~ Billy Idol


  6. Separate the behavior from the person.

    Most of us know that we can’t change others. However we can influence others’ behavior with our behavior. Instead of seeing them as toxic people, see the toxic behaviors. It calms and empowers you.


  7. Extricate your mindset when you can’t escape the moment.

    If you must be around someone who irks you, simply highlight the difference between the two of you: “We see things differently.” It states your calm acceptance of the difference and doesn’t trap you in the toxic behavior.






Find pleasure in frustration and get your calm on. Well worth the effort for a fabulous life!




Dealing with toxic people: What success have you had & how can I help you?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Reduce Conflict: Hear the Urgency Before the Yell!
Positive Attitudes for Dealing w/ a Toxic Boss

©2012-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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This Week’s #Peopleskills Chat Topic – Moving From Conflict to Collaboration

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Dec. 7, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM ET. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EST to your local time.



Conflict to Collaboration: The Journey to a Better Place

Join us Sunday Dec. 7th 10am ET to discuss conflict vs. collaboration.

Conflict to Collaboration: Image is People skills logo

Conflict to Collaboration: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

How Can People Move From Conflict to Collaboration Sooner?

Throughout the world, conflict rages on. It makes me wonder, what does it take to either prevent conflict or move from conflict to collaboration sooner?

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • Conflict – how do you define it?
  • Why does conflict erupt? How does it happen?
  • Collaboration – what image does it bring to your mind?
  • Opinion: Is it possible to accomplish the same things w/ collaboration that we could w/ conflict?
  • “Conflict is a good thing. It toughens people up.” Ag/ Disagree? Why is this such a popular belief?
  • Does society today promote bullying by saying conflict is good? Pls. explain.
  • Why do some people see collaborators as weak?
  • “Speak (walk) softly and carry a big stick.” ~Theodore Roosevelt Why/why not?
  • What role does humility play (if at all) in conflict and/or collaboration?
  • What does it take to move from conflict to collaboration?
  • What will it take to make collaboration and care more desirable than conflict?
  • How can people skills move people from conflict to collaboration sooner?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.


Bring your experience, curiosity, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday Dec. 7, 10am ET in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). We will discuss moving from conflict to collaboration.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Dec. 7, 2014, 10am ET/7am PT to share your insights and perspective moving from conflict to collaboration.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. Dec. 7, 2014, in global #peopleskills Twitter chat 10am ET to explore moving from conflict to collaboration.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Professional People Skills: Find Solutions, Not Fault


Professional People Skills: Image is a poem about listing positives.

Professional People Skills: How to Deal w/ Fault Finders Image by:ANDI

Image by ANDI via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Finding fault stops progress; finding solutions ignites success. I posted that on Twitter and many re-tweeted it. Some sent replies and this one caught my eye:


How  do  you deal with chronic fault finders?

A great question.



Dealing with chronic fault finders can demoralize a team. In Dr. Robert Sutton’s book Good Boss, Bad Boss he notes: “Teams with downers produce 40-60% less than teams without them.”

That rang true to me. When I am around chronic fault finders, I feel like I am pushing a truck up a hill without a motor.

Conversely, when I am around people who focus on finding solutions, their professional people skills, energy, and ideas are uplifting. It’s a heavenly duo of optimism and realism.

Professional People Skills: Dealing w/ Chronic Fault Finders

So what professional people skills approach would you use to deal with chronic fault finders?

  1. Are they aware that they come across as negative? You might think this is a ridiculous question yet many people never think about how they appear to others. Ask them for their ideas and solutions. If someone is going to change their behavior, first they must see their behavior for what it is to others.

  2. Use the power of the written “what if”. Ask them: “What if we each write down some possible solutions and then share them?” By going to the written form, you create a spotlight for the positive. The chronic fault finders will see their behavior more clearly if they have suddenly have nothing to share.

  3. If the fault finding continues, ask them “What does fault finding mean to you or do for you?” It asks without accusing. If they are finding fault with ideas without offering new ones, they are resisting change. If they are finding fault with people, it generally shows their fear or insecurity. In either case, communication about finding fault can get them to move past it.

  4. Spot their personality type. Driver types are so focused on the end result they assume that others are too. They skip telling you the positive aspects of your idea to reach success more quickly. If you are not a driver personality type, you may see this as negativity and finding fault. Let the driver personality type know that looking at the positives and negatives helps you reach the end result.

  5. Take what is valuable. Set limits on the rest. If they are highlighting the risks or flaws in an idea, use their comments to make things better. If they are attacking you personally, set limits appropriately. “I treat people with respect. I ask the same in return.” This is a professional people skills response to inappropriate behavior.

  6. Leave it behind. There are times in your personal and work life where you may choose to walk (not run) away from a chronic fault finder. It is a viable choice when done with prior thought and awareness. Being around positive people can change your life.



Picture a team of inventors. They look at each failed attempt as a positive step toward creating a great result. They don’t point fingers at who suggested it and spend time blaming. They are alive with energy and ideas to reach a solution.


Chronic fault finding comes from fear, selfishness, and low emotional intelligence. When you face that negativity, your self-confidence, optimism, and emotional intelligence rise about it and enable a professional people skills response.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Customer Experience Beliefs: 11 to Win Over Customers


If we want our customers to have a superior customer experience, we need to examine our customer experience beliefs. What we think affects what we do. This is true in every aspect of business. With customers, it’s even more important.


Customer Experience Beliefs: Image is the neon sign "belief".

11 Winning Customer Experience Beliefs. Image by Steve Rhodes via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Image by: Steve Rhodes via Flicker Creative Commons License.

11 Surefire Customer Experience Beliefs

  1. Customers cannot observe our intentions. Treat them well.

  2. The customer’s voice echoes forever. Of course they talk about us. What they say is actually up to us.

  3. Persist when you sense potential; shift and innovate when you see futility. Never let frustration with a customer stop you from giving great care and finding a solution!

  4. Make customer experience easy! Count the number of hoops you ask customers to jump through & you’ll find the places they may jump ship! Leave the hoops for basketball.

  5. Courtesy and civility do not undo our authenticity. They allow the customers to easily embrace it. Authenticity is not an excuse for being blunt or rude to customers. A smile can change everything.

  6. A customer’s trust is an invitation for a human bond. Our actions RSVP the truth about our integrity and foretell the customer’s next choice.


  7. There is a difference between service and servitude. The first you choose; the second you don’t. What choice will you make to deliver superior customer experience?

  8. A sincere apology is the quickest way to repave the road of customer trust. Waffling, defending, and delay leaves a trail of mistrust.

  9. Our future is behind every customer. The customer is the heart of our success. Their pulse is our vital sign. It beats for our future. Maintain heart health!

  10. When we hold resentment in our hearts, we deliver far below our capabilities. Learn objective caring to prevent taking customers’ criticisms personally.

  11. Choose to trust until there’s proof to mistrust. Check all your processes, procedures, and touch points. Do they communicate trust or mistrust of the customer? Then ask yourselves, if you were the customers, would you feel welcome?



Are your customer experience beliefs serving or sabotaging superior customer experience? Leaders, do you know what your teams think? Sit with them and ask “What are our customer experience beliefs?” You may be pleasantly surprised or jolted by the silence. In either case, this review is a no cost high return step to superior customer experience!


What winning customer experience beliefs would you add to this list?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
5 Powerful Beliefs to Win Over Rude or Angry Customers
Irresistible Customer Experience: What Every Customer Wants

©2012-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Empathy & Humility: The Powerful Response to Bias


Empathy and Humility: Image is gold ball balancing many silver balls

Empathy and Humility: The Perfect Response to Bias

Image licensed from Istock.com.

When others’ bias threatens to block you, you can tell them off, walk away, or use empathy and humility to overcome their narrow mindedness. Empathy and humility is the place to start. You can always walk away later if you find people’s minds are sealed shut.



Empathy and humility can …

  • Reduce the fears that create the bias
  • Open the mind to a new view of the issue
  • Chip away at the comfort of the status quo and spur learning
  • Give you possibilities that outbursts or walking away can’t or won’t



Empathy and Humility: 3 Responses to Overcome Bias

As I reflected on moments when people were biased against me, I realized that I instinctively used empathy and humility. I was rewarded with positive results.

  1. Can a woman do this job? I was doing subcontracts for other consulting firms. One submitted my name to their client — a Fortune 500 corporation — to teach the new workshop on sales and consulting skills. At that point all the instructors were men. The corporate contact replied: A woman? The owner of the consulting firm relayed that reply to me and then asked me how he should reply. In fact he said to me, “I figured you faced this all the time and have some special way of replying.”

    I could have ripped all of them apart for their chauvinistic bias. Instead, I heard their fear of change. I put myself in their shoes and in the shoes of the women who would be taking the workshop. I replied: “If there will be women taking the workshop, they will benefit from knowing and seeing a woman do the sales and consulting job the corporation wants them to do.” Empathy and humility hit the mark. They immediately said yes.


  2. Why do we need someone from the USA to do this? The first time I went to Canada to teach customer service, the customs officer at the airport asked me why I was there. When I told him why, he forcefully said: “Will you please tell me why we need someone from the USA to teach customer service instead of an expert right here in Canada?”

    This was not the time to sing my own praises. It would have simply intensified his resistance. I replied: “90% of their customers are Americans. Who better to teach them how to deal with Americans, than an American?” He smiled, wished me well, and allowed me to pass. Empathy and humility opened the door to his comfort and my success.


  3. We don’t need you or this change. When leaders bring in consultants to foster change, team members sometimes resist the change by mislabeling us as uninformed outsiders. In these moments, empathy and humility overcome the bias by fostering learning and understanding.

    I ask them questions to understand their perspective. I offer examples of how things can be better. This empathy doesn’t stop the change; it helps team members to move it forward. The humility removes the power struggle and powers up the change.



Could a greater miracle take place than to look through each other’s eyes for an instant. ~Thoreau


When the deck seems stacked against you, remember the power of empathy and humility. As you step out of your own feelings of outrage and see into others’ minds, you may well find the connection to overcome their bias. As empathy makes the connection that reduces fear, humility elevates a shared purpose above their personal misgivings.



When has empathy and humility helped you overcome bias?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
When Tough Leaders Show Empathy
Leadership: Never Confuse Humility w/ Humiliation
What’s So Hot About Humility Anyway?

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Prevent the Negative Effects of Being Too Positive!


Is your positive attitude helping yourself and others? It often can. Yet, have you ever met someone who overlooks empathy and drives their positive attitude on others?

When extremely positive people don’t account for others’ needs, their positive outlook can backfire.  They can come across as patronizing, controlling, and oddly enough, insensitive.


Negative Effects of Being Positive image is Smiley Face Cube Glowing

Negative Effects of Being Positive Image by Kristin Resurreccion via Flickr.


Grateful to Kristin Resurreccion for the image via Flickr Creative Commons License.

5 Ways to Prevent the Negative Effects of Being Positive

I have a very positive attitude about life and deliver inspirational keynotes to lift others up. I have also met people who try to convert me to their version of optimism before seeing how positive I already am!  This turns me off to what they have to offer.


To prevent this misstep …

  1. Listen in the moment and understand others’ perspectives.  Listening builds trust through respect of others’ needs.  Sometimes people are so busy encouraging others to be positive they don’t stop and detect what others need at that moment.  Everyone is on a journey and they travel at different speeds.   Some get to a positive attitude faster than others.  Some don’t even want to go there.  

    Exception: If you are a leading an organization through change and a true resistor is slowing the pace with negativity, you will need to address that very clearly to ensure the momentum of change.


  2. Acknowledge and empathize.  Empathy doesn’t mean you agree. It means you matter, we matter this matters. Connect with empathy to build the trust needed to influence others.

  3. Coach only when asked.  In everyday life, don’t elect yourself someone else’s life coach.  Even positive words like “I would like to encourage you to …” are somewhat arrogant if the person didn’t ask for your help.   Live and enjoy your own positive attitude but don’t declare yourself Ruler of PositiveLand and issue decrees.  You may become known as a royal pain in the tail.

  4. Blend optimism with realism. It opens the door to empathy and builds credibility. It is much easier to connect and trust someone who has their feet on the ground as they reach for the stars.

  5. Disagree honestly and with respect. Become comfortable with honest respectful disagreement.  People disagree in life.  Working through disagreements often delivers great results.  Yet sometimes extremely positive people patronize during a disagreement because they seek immediate harmony.  Disagreement can be a positive if it is done respectfully.




Live positively and let others see your optimism and positive choices. Blend it with empathy and realism and you ascend to trust, respect, and the long reach of influence.


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership Optimism: Keeping It Real
When Strong Leaders Use Empathy

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership Calls: Are You Ready to Answer?


Leadership calls. Are you ready to lead others? Do you have the people skills to handle the tough moments?

Do you have the emotional intelligence to spot difficulties early on? Do you have the initiative and courage to step up in order to prevent difficulties from becoming major trouble?


Leadership Calls: Image is paper weight on desk w/ pens sticking out of it.

Leadership Calls: Are You Truly Ready? Image by Arlo_ via Flickr.

Grateful for image by Arlo_ via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Leadership Calls: How Will You Answer?

In the 25 years I’ve been consulting to mid-level leaders, I’ve seen an unfortunate trend. They are managing functions not leading people. Leadership calls, they get promoted, and then feel stumped on how to lead others.

The good news is, you can develop your leadership people skills. Whether new to leadership or not, when leadership calls you can be ready.






Prepare your people skills for these tough situations …

  1. Someone comes to you and says a co-worker is bullying or harassing them. What would you do? There is much evidence to show many leaders minimize the person’s claim, blame the victim, or tell the victim to work it out with the co-worker. BIG mistake. Your response comes across to the victim as abandonment and mistrust. Co-worker bullying thrives on leaders who live in denial. Leadership calls and the leaders don’t lead. They deny and blame.

    Leadership people skills approach: Don’t abandon your employees. Get closer. Talk to them. Ask non-judgmental questions! Explore and listen. In this way, you communicate that you care. You also learn important information and understand the issue. You can then decide on appropriate next steps.

  2. One employee is slacking off. No one is formally complaining to you but they complain to each other. What would you do? If you are thinking, “how would I know if an employee is slacking off,” you are not leading. Leading is pro-active emotional intelligence in action. It senses and sees what’s going on before the virus spreads.

    Leadership people skills approach: Stay connected to the pulse of the workplace. With the teams’ input, set the bar high and then call everyone to reach it with skills, attitude, and great teamwork. If some are slacking off, speak with them. Find out if it’s a skills issue or an attitude issue. If it’s a skills issue, address development or reassignment. If it’s an attitude issue, be clear and frank. Leadership calls and you must call everyone to high levels of performance. If you hide your head on this one, the quicksand will pull you all under.

  3. There’s an organizational change announced and you must lead your teams through it. Upper leadership has announced it. You and your teams aren’t thrilled about it. How do you act? If you commiserate with your teams, you enable their resistance.

    Leadership people skills approach: Embrace the change and lead them to do the same. Empathize and acknowledge their feelings but don’t commiserate and encourage mutiny. Deepen your commitment to the change and get closer to your teams to buoy them. If you don’t believe in the change, why should they?







To get closer and deeper when leadership calls, remember …

  • Being objective and fair doesn’t mean being neutral. Lead them. Don’t abandon them.
  • Leadership requires performance of your duties. Hiding and denying are a form of malpractice. Overlooking symptoms, avoiding necessary conversations, blaming instead of resolving are leadership negligence. Leadership calls. Lead with your eyes wide open.
  • Bonds are not the same thing as bondage. Bonds don’t handcuff and block success. Closer and deeper bonds build trust — the pathway to success. Leadership calls. Be more connected to your people not just the results.



Show your readiness. When leadership calls, get closer and deeper to take everyone farther!



What has been your greatest leadership challenge & how did you handle it?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
The Biggest Leadership Surprises of New Leaders
Leaders, 10 Ways to Ignite Greatness Without Leaving Scars
Exceptional Empowerment: Keep Your Expertise Involved
Leadership: 12 Essential Thoughts to Proficient People Skills

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

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