Mental Toughness: Starts w/ Emotional Intelligence!
What do you think is the key to surmounting tough obstacles?
- Emotional Intelligence
- Positive thinking
- Mental toughness
The obvious answer is mental toughness. Yet the truth is all of the above — because mental toughness actually requires emotional intelligence, honest relationships, and positive thinking. So says former FBI agent LaRae Quy and author of Mental Toughness: 52 Tips to Recognizing & Utilizing Your Greatest Strengths.
As The People Skills Coach™, what struck me about LaRae’s new book was that the first section is all about emotional intelligence. It’s not what most people consider when they think of mental toughness.
It makes sense explained LaRae in my recent interview and discussion with her. She coaches many people to become self-aware. “Know your hot buttons and how not to react.” This has great implications for individual achievement AND people skills of interaction. Leading teams, engaging employees, productive collaboration, selling and serving customers, etc…
“You can master the majority of tough human interactions better with emotional intelligence than with a hammer and tough approach. There are moments and exigent circumstances that require the gruff exterior yet it is not the norm.”
LaRae also highlights the difference between mastery versus success. She stresses: “An attitude of success actually leads to mediocrity. We see it as a fixed arrival point that we never want to leave. We RIP – retire in place or rest in peace depending on how you look at it. On the other hand, mastery is a growth mindset. We focus on mastering that moment and then asking what’s next? Experimenting and learning brings clarity!”
SURPRISE: If you want to develop mental toughness, don’t think about success. Focus on experimenting and mastery!
Q: So what are the specific benefits to developing mental toughness?
LaRae Quy: “Breakthroughs! The grit and resilience to know that you will prevail over the challenge instead of waiting for the circumstances to change.”
Whether it is workplace interaction issues, a project team facing seemingly insurmountable obstacles, a leader trying to reignite employees’ passion and commitment, start with La Rae’s top 3 tips for mental toughness:
- Become self-aware
- Develop healthy honest relationships to support each other
- Practice positive thinking. Neuroscience research shows that it takes five positive thoughts to overcome one negative.
This speaks to how important leaders’ inspiring words and positive attitudes matter to morale, engagement and performance. Mental toughness is not about acting and talking tough. It is rooted in understanding yourself and others to overcome obstacles and achieve some mastery.
Mental Toughness: Getting Started
To get started in developing your mental toughness, La Rae advises you to learn what mental toughness is and is not. Become self-aware, understand others, bring clarity to any challenge, and practice positive thinking.
I can’t think of a better way for you to do this than to buy and read La Rae’s refreshing and wonderfully written book Mental Toughness: 52 Tips to Recognize & Utilize Your Greatest Strengths. I chose the Kindle version and digested it as quickly as my finger could swipe each page.
From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™
©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email firstname.lastname@example.org for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.
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~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™