KateNasser.com

For decades, leaders have heard the same outcry from customer service, call center, and technical support teams: “We have to treat the customers well even when they are yelling at us. Why do they get treated better than they treat us?”

Service and support leaders, managers, and team leads ask me: “Kate, how do we counter that?  Beyond our efforts to treat team members well, what’s the answer to this endless outcry?”

It depends on what you think the team members seek. If you hear it as an outcry for equality and fairness, you might be tempted to say “because they are the customers” or the old standard “the customer is always right.” Your reply affirms that it is not an equal relationship.

Well fairness and equality may be part of what customer service and tech support teams want. Everyone deserves to be treated with basic human respect and most organizations do not tolerate true verbal abuse on either side.

Customer Service & Tech Support Leaders: Do You Hear the Envy?

It’s understandable how agents, reps, analysts, and associates could envy the customers’ privilege of:

1. Showing anger and dissatisfaction; they can’t.
2. Receiving help; they give it and often don’t get help from other teams.
3. Participating in industry conferences; they rarely see the light of day.
4. Attending training for professional growth; they have limited access.
5. Having time to work projects completely; they are expected to perform well while simultaneously clearing the queue.
6. Working a regular schedule with holidays and weekends off; they often work shifts or are on-call.
7. Being respected and valued; few top leaders recognize service and support as vital to the organization.

Leaders, The Impact of Envy in Customer Service
The risk and impact of this envy is worthy of your attention.

• It stops teams from consistently delivering the ultimate in customer service. If their heads and hearts don’t love being in service, they won’t.
• Unchecked envy emphasizes the feelings of unworthiness and diverts valuable focus from service to the imbalance.
• It impacts the teamwork critical to delivering outstanding service.
• Unaddressed envy can fuel high staff turnover. Some turnover is healthy for service teams. High levels are a warning sign of a service organization in trouble.

Understanding this has given many leaders and me the chance to cultivate a non-envy culture that inspires and delivers service greatness.

Through workshops, we have helped the front line managers, supervisors, team leads, and staff to replace envy of customers’ privileges with pride in:

• Breath of knowledge
• Continuous learning through experience
• Great ease and style in working with people — not everyone has this prowess
• Multi-tasking and ability to work under pressure
• Professional skill of being empathetic and objective — many doctors don’t even have this
• Inspiring yourself and others to excellence

To build and sustain a non-envy service culture, it is necessary to help service team members discover a sense of fulfillment. I rarely hear the cry of envy from service team members who are fulfilled in other ways.

Fulfillment squelches envy whether it comes from their family life, years of work experience, inner peace, gratitude for having a job, comparison to previous jobs, or a tremendous high from reaching results in the face of adversity.

Leaders, showing appreciation and recognition for service team’s work and helping them build a positive service team identity feeds fulfillment. Working with your peer leaders of non-customer facing teams to build the cross teamwork necessary for mutual success feeds fulfillment.

Declare your vision to your teams and ask them for their insight on how to achieve it. Telling does not engage excellence; asking does.

Offer training to develop their professional skills. Budget for temps to cover service demands while service team members present a case study of their achievements at an industry conference.


Face team problems, like envy, stress, and morale, and your teams will achieve success.

I look forward to helping you take your customer service and tech support teams from inspiration to action.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leaders, 12 Worthy Kudos to Spark Employee Engagement
The Ultimate Customer Experience – Challenge of Excellence (video with sound)

©2012 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please first email info@katenasser.com for terms of use. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Delivering a super customer service experience is all about the choices. Simply great choices can create it! Poor choices can destroy it.

Frustration with the customer is often at the heart of those poor choices. In fact, frustration with customer behavior can make poor choices very tempting.

The best in customer service find something else even more tempting — the strength and skill to resist temptation and choose greatness!

Deliver Super Customer Experience With Simple Choices Image by:Shannonnnnnnn

Frustration, Temptation & Simply Great Choices

The strength to choose service greatness rests within your professional identity.

How do you want to be known? What do you picture as greatness? If service is not in that picture, your attitude and behavior will yield to frustration.

If you want to create super customer experience, here are 7 common frustrations, temptations and the simply great choices!

1. Your Frustration: The customer wants to speak before you or more than you.
   Temptation: Seize control of the conversation and talk over the customer. Poor choice.
   Great Choice: Let them talk! Your response will be far more accurate the more you understand.




2. Your Frustration: The customer wants something non-standard. This takes time, thought, effort, and takes you out of your normal pace.
   Temptation: Show your exasperation and label the customer as difficult. Poor choice.
   Great Choice: Show your interest — even excitement — in doing and learning something different. This is the chance to WOW ‘em.




3. Your Frustration: You want the customer to completely populate your contact database before you help them and they want some information without being locked in your detailed procedure.
   Temptation: Ignore their preference and continue on with your questions. Poor choice.
   Great Choice: Get basic identifying information like name, account # and then focus on what they need! Once you have the solution underway, validate or get other personal information for your database. Focusing on the customer delivers a super customer experience. Focusing on your database doesn’t.




4. Your Frustration: The customer is upset and venting their anger.
   Temptation: Lecture to them (i.e. There is no reason to raise your voice, I am trying to help you). Poor choice.
   Great Choice: Let them vent. When they are done, empathize and take action. Fix the situation, not the customer! If you don’t, your competitor will.




5. Your Frustration: The customer waits until the last minute for help and has an urgent need.
   Temptation: Tell the customer they should have called you sooner. Poor choice. Criticizing them for poor planning leaves an emotional scar on them that will burden you next time — if they come back.
   Great Choice: Determine whether or not you can meet this urgent need. If yes, do it. Being the customer’s hero is a super customer experience! If you truly can’t, let them know that and refer to other resources that might be able to help them. Expressions of good will and effort build future trust.




6. Your Frustration: Customer doesn’t follow an important procedure and it causes the customer, and you, repeated problems.
   Temptation: Patronize the customer with an insipid rhetorical question like do you remember I said to enter your account id not your phone number? Poor choice. Patronizing the customer is professionally immature and disrespectful.
   Great Choice: Simply give the customer the answer again. Courteous honest answers help and don’t hurt. After you have helped them, ask if there is anything you can do to make it easier for them next time. You might also review any written instructions or online design to see how to make it clearer.




7. Your Frustration: The customer wants to ask questions along the way and you want to go through your whole presentation or explanation first.
   Temptation: Tell the customer to wait until you are done. Poor choice. You are telling the customer that you are more important than they are.
   Great Choice: Dialogue with the customer; put their needs first. You will meet your needs through theirs and deliver a super customer experience.

When you choose great listening, adaptability, patience, reasonableness, competence, and agility for sudden needs, you deliver truly memorable and super customer experiences.

Question
What other frustrations do you have with customers? Add them in the comments section below and I will help you deliver a super customer experience. I deliver the antidotes to your frustration!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Post: Be Plentiful & Ready to Deliver Super Customer Experience

©2012 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please first email info@katenasser.com for terms of use. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Six months ago, a leader described this dilemma to me:

A team member who produced results with the other team members had fallen very ill. Let’s call this team member “Reach”.

When the leader approached the team members for a show of empathy, cards, flowers, and other help for “Reach”, many team members quietly avoided the subject and some clearly declined the outreach. The leader was shocked to learn that the team members saw Reach as a self-serving opportunist.

Leaders Dilemma: Self-Serving High Performing Team Member Image by: ErickGonzalez50

I agreed and asked the leader to think about his definition of teamwork in the interim.

Inside the Team Members’ Perspective

1. Reach was well-known for saying things like: “Always associate with people better than you to achieve success.” The team members wondered who Reach was referring to? Meanwhile, they perceived Reach overlooking them while always (metaphorically) looking up.




2. Reach helped himself grow — he didn’t help others to grow. He was also well-known for saying, “people give and help because they want to. They shouldn’t expect anything in return.”




3. Did they ever speak to the leader about Reach’s attitude? Two team members reported they had separately spoken to the leader who refocused the discussion on Reach’s work contribution and results. As they compared notes of the leader’s outlook — which they shared with the rest of the team — they felt is was futile to mention it again.




4. How had they been able to produce results with Reach while having these negative feelings? Interestingly, they had completely shut out personal feelings for Reach and focused purely on work results.




5. When the leader approached them for empathy, cards, flowers and other help for Reach, they were shocked. They had accepted the leader’s results only focus and said they felt both confused and betrayed by his call for personal help for Reach — when neither Reach nor the leader had cared about them. They asked me: What is the leader’s definition of teamwork? Getting the job done or caring for and helping each other to get the job done?

I reported my findings to the leader (without identifying who said what). He was stunned. I asked him for his definition of teamwork?

He told me he always believed that teamwork included caring and helping each other to grow.

When I asked him about his results focus with Reach, he confessed he didn’t know what else to do when the team members came to him about Reach’s attitude.

He didn’t see himself as a psychologist and quickly fell back on a traditional results only focus.


People-Skills & Leadership Lessons Learned?

Results only focus has at least one benefit and one risk. The short term benefit is clear. The risk is blindness to plummeting morale that can affect future work results.

Fear can mesmerize and stop a leader from growing. The team members had courageously approached the leader; the leader panicked in fear and took the easy way out.

Awareness and listening are critical leadership skills. Reach was well-known for saying things that this leader never caught. Even if Reach hadn’t said them in front of the leader, team members reported it to him.

It isn’t enough for a leader to let the team define teamwork. The leader must contribute to the definition. The leader is part of the team. The leader’s expectations of teamwork are critical in difficult times.

If you truly believe in a results only focus, be clear and consistent about it. You will attract team members who believe in it and work well with it. You may lose others who believe attitude impacts morale yet they wouldn’t likely last on your team anyway.

What Do You Think?

-What other lessons do you glean from this dilemma filled story?

-What does it leave you wondering? What other leadership questions does it raise?

-Are you concerned that you will lose high performing team members if you include more than just results in the definition of teamwork?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Post: Leaders, 10 Essential Thoughts to Proficient People Skills

©2012 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish this post, please first email info@katenasser.com for terms of use. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

The Customer Experience ViewMaster!

Leaders, if your teams were to read this caption — Leaders, Foresee & Reduce the Burden of Needy Customers — whose burden would they think of? Theirs or the customers?

The answer will show you the state of your current customer experience culture. If they think of the customers’ burden, you are in a good zone. If they think of their own burden first, you have miles to go in building a super customer experience culture.

Foreseeing & Reducing The Burden of Needy Customers

Image by: AndyMiah via Creative Commons License

Customer Experience Culture

Needy customers are the only type of customers!

Un-needy prospects are of little value to our organization.

If they don’t need our products and services, they don’t need us.

It’s time to build your team’s desire to foresee and reduce the customers’ burden.

Help them to see the burden of uncertainty that every customer bears and how they can reduce it!


The 21 Customer Burdens (of Uncertainty)

1. Can I trust this company with my needs?
2. Will they fully understand my needs?
3. Do they care about my needs?
4. How well do they work together or will I have to run between them to get what I want?
5. Will I understand them and how to easily use their product/service?
6. How well will they deliver on my needs?
7. Will they treat me well — even when it doesn’t serve their profits?
8. How much will their mistakes cost me? In time, money, reputation, lost revenue?
9. What positive effect will they have on my life or business?
10. How easy will it be to use their product or service?
11. What if we disagree? How will they handle it?
12. Will the interaction be stressful or positive?
13. Are they capable of giving me a super customer experience?
14. What assumptions are they making? What do the expect of me?
15. What don’t they care about — despite their promises?
16. How will they treat me after the sale?
17. Will I regret picking their product or service?
18. What happens to me if I do regret picking them?
19. How will a bad decision impact my career, my life, my business, my customers?
20. Will I like their product, service, and dealing with them?
21. Should I trust this company?

The customers’ burden of uncertainty takes them away from you.

Take the burden of uncertainty away from them and build your success with their trust in you.

When I go into companies to build a super customer experience culture, I often see that the leaders are aware of these customer burdens – the teams aren’t.

Teach every team in your company to foresee these burdens and reduce them through product and service design, positive selling and trust-based customer service.

It delivers a super customer experience with great success and best results for your business.

From professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Post: Super Customer Experience: Be Plentiful & Ready

©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please first email info@katenasser.com for terms of use. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Businesses, large and small, both want to deliver super customer experience. Two steps can take customer experience from good to great — be plentiful and ready. And it’s the best PR.

Super Customer Experience - Be Plentiful & Ready, The Best PR!

The trigger reaction of many leaders to the idea of being plentiful to the customers — “that costs money!” Well, it doesn’t have to be free to customers or expensive for your business.


Being plentiful and ready gives customers:

For Super Customer Experience Today

Be Plentiful in:

1. Positive, can do, make it work attitudes.
2. Low cost welcoming gifts.
3. Experience.
4. Information and knowledge.
5. Advertised products.
6. Last minute alternatives and solutions.
7. Communication and behind the scenes teamwork.

Be Ready With:

1. Courtesy and care.
2. Culture that considers customer experience as a business driver.
3. Information rich well designed websites.
4. Inter-cultural knowledge.
5. Easy to use self-serve portals that address complete needs.
6. Mechanisms that enable you to quickly adapt to change.
7. Proactive listening, follow-through, and follow-up.
8. Thank yous and gratitude.

Be (P)lentiful today and (R)eady for tomorrow — the best PR for your business!

In what other ways should we be plentiful and ready? What would you add to this list from your experience?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish this post, please first email info@katenasser.com for terms of use. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Related Post: Super Customer Experience: Customers & Us in Harmony

Brilliant Minds & Teamwork Image by:Chechi Pe

Build more respect and teamwork between the most brilliant legal minds in the law practice and the support staff.

And not just any brilliant minds. These were the elite attorneys in cutting edge and high powered niches, all with double (some triple) degrees.

Support staff felt demoralized. Some had left. Turnover was on the rise. The HR director quipped in exasperation:

Do brilliant minds breed bad teamwork?!

She gave me examples of the interaction between the super educated brilliant attorneys and the support staff. I also spoke with support staff.

There was good news. The hurdles were from different levels of drive for achievement — not from a deeply rooted disrespect for support staff.

Now for the solution. The HR director noted that access to the attorneys’ time was very limited. So we first held workshops with the support staff to rebuild morale and build skill in supporting high achievers.

It was remarkable to see the support staff zealously embrace these basic beliefs of brilliant minds:

1. Commitment turns intelligence into brilliance. “I am always learning — please do the same.”
2. Facilitate and sustain my achievement or get out of the way.
3. The organization expects me to hit the high bar. Please jump higher with me!
4. Shine at what you do so I can continue to shine at what I do.
5. Come at me with solutions to problems — not just the problem! Otherwise, get out of the way.

---

Support staff remarked that this picture was one of continuous striving and learning not a desire to demean. They had never perceived it that way.

From this awareness, we re-mapped how to speak and behave in support of these high achievers.

Some say it is unfair to ask the support staff to learn new support skills instead of asking high achieving attorneys to change their ways.

Yet, high achieving revenue producing professionals respond, “If you ask me to put the feelings of teamwork ahead of results, the organization will achieve less. Why can’t we all step it up and achieve more?”

Success lies in both. Put limits on the demeaning behaviors, like verbal abuse, and train support staff, as we did, to work from the high achiever’s view. It transformed attitudes, performance, respect, and teamwork!

So to answer the initial question — Do brilliant minds breed bad teamwork? No. A difference in expectations, drive, and goals, does.


From professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please first email info@katenasser.com for terms of use. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Working on the front lines of customer service can be wonderful or terrible. It depends on your mindset – on what you picture — not on the customer. Surprised?

It’s actually good news. What happens when you interact with others is not completely random. Success is within your grasp because what you picture, you create!

It’s not voodoo. It simply that what you picture or think about, you focus on, say, and do.

Customer Service: If you picture it, you create it.

Customer service starts with picturing that you can make a positive difference.

If instead you picture difficulty or conflict, you will focus on being right, being heard, and being in control. All of this creates the difficulty you pictured at the start.


The Story

When I reached the service rep, he handled my problem with empathy, accuracy, and calm confidence. Before I left the room, I said to him: “I teach customer service to large corporations and reps tell me how stressed out they are. How do you stay so positive with so many people in here complaining?”

He replied: “Kate, if they’re smiling when they come in here … they’re in the wrong room!”

He understood what people would naturally feel and he became the picture of a man making a difference.

Picture the positive and you reduce your fear. Result: Increased listening that guides the interaction to success.

Picture the positive and you feel influential with no need to control others. Result: A collaborative success instead of a target shoot.

Picture the positive and you project empathy and connect sincerely. Result: You make a difference and that is great customer service.

One informed rep with a positive attitude and one customer-friendly policy of delivering luggage created a positive customer experience instead of a social media rant.

What will you and your teams picture before you all start work tomorrow? I hope that it’s caring for customers and making a difference.

Yours in service,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach


Related post: Customer Service, Key Link in the Chain not Life in Chains

©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

A positive attitude and enthusiasm are essential tools for sales and customer service. A recent study at the Wharton School of Business showed how mood affects customer service performance.

Customer service representatives (also known as a CSRs) who start the day with enthusiasm and a positive mood deliver better service throughout the day. Most would agree that the same applies to sales teams’ success.

So the more enthusiasm in sales and service the better, right? As a mindset or mood, yes.

As a communication style, über enthusiasm can overwhelm and turn off the customer. In other words, there are ups & downs to enthusiasm.

Enthusiasm's Ups & Downs Image by: tk_yeoh

Enthusiasm’s Ups & Downs

1. Enthusiasm for customer service shows the customer you care. When it drives you to do all the talking, it tells them you don’t care enough to listen.
2. Enthusiasm in technical support drives you to solve even the toughest problems for customers. When you show the customer enthusiasm for broken technology, they think you care more about technology than you do about them.
3. Enthusiasm for the products and services you sell, captures the customer’s attention. When you spew it like a geyser, you stop the development of great customer relationships.
4. Enthusiasm sustains your objectivity and commitment when facing an irate customer.  When you ooze enthusiasm on an irate customer, you come across as insensitive. Your actions lack empathy.

Sales and service tip: Before you take off on an exciting ride, make sure that you and the customer are together!

Business success — be it corporate, mid-size enterprises, innovative start-ups, or small businesses - depends on the positive can do attitude. It is also weakened and destabilized by a bad attitude.

For business success, leaders, inspire people to choose a positive attitude but don’t coach a bad attitude. The latter is a waste of time and money. The team members who bring a positive can do attitude use your inspiration to deliver success. An employee with a bad attitude just uses you.

Are you surprised to hear me, The People-Skills Coach, say don’t coach a bad attitude?  Well, I am not speaking about an employee who offers a different view, contributes alternate solutions, or is having a bad day.  I am referring to an employee who under performs, is under-motivated, constantly negative, analyzes but doesn’t deliver, or refuses to work with necessary constraints.

One leader recently asked me, how long do you work on the bad morale of a negative employee? I replied, never!  You cannot work on someone’s morale.  People choose and own their individual attitudes.

Coaching a bad attitude means you are spending time on their mission instead of the mission of the organization.

Inspire Positive Attitudes; Don't Coach a Bad Attitude!

Positive can do team members …

• Offer realistic solutions to fix frustrating/difficult situations they don’t like.
• Own their occasional bad day.  When they ask for assistance, they try the suggestions you offer vs. negating your ideas and continuing to complain.
• Learn from many situations – the good and the bad – instead of complaining about them.
• Initiate actions to deliver success.

If you are thinking or saying the following about a constantly negative team member, you are enabling a bad attitude:

“But this employee …”

• “Just needs more time to develop a positive attitude.”
• “Will come around eventually.”
• “Is still recovering from the previous bad boss.”
• “Is having a rough year.”
• “Is young/immature.”
• “Is good in a crisis.”

Would upper management be swayed by these reasons when trying to assess the value of your organization? Or would they ask you to calculate the cost of having employees who don’t use positive attitudes to fuel outstanding results?

What can you expect instead? A positive attitude to create business success now; someone who is capable of choosing a positive attitude doesn’t need more time.  An employee who had a dictatorial boss before could be thrilled by a chance to work with a better leader now.  Young employees can be positive about the possibilities that lie ahead. Team members who are good in a crisis have the mental strength to choose a can do attitude daily.

Leaders, if you struggle with the idea of expecting a positive attitude, ask yourself why?

Do you:

• Want to be liked more than you want to achieve success
• Fear the necessary conversation about a bad attitude
• Believe you have the power to change people
• Believe that expecting and requiring a positive attitude means you are a tyrant/ogre
• Feel bad about yourself if an employee has a bad attitude toward the job
• Believe that positive employees won’t want to work in your organization

I see this trend among: certain personality types, managers who are leading their former peers, and leaders who replaced a rough demoralizing micro-manager.  Yet coaching a bad attitude doesn’t change the bad attitude.

It can also demoralize the committed team members who endure the bad attitude while you try — in vain — to coach. It takes you all off course.

Get back on track. Expect a positive attitude and inspire the possibilities that come from it!

Feature team successes and lessons learned.  Recognize innovative thought, outstanding effort, commitment, and action.  Express your appreciation at the end of the week for tough situations handled well.  Let no complainer disillusion or distract you and the team from the true mission.

Positive attitudes are not denial of the difficulties the team faces.  They are the very fuel for overcoming obstacles to reach business success.

Create an environment for a positive can do attitude and then expect it from everyone.

What other actions do you recommend to create an environment for a can do attitude? I welcome your comments below.

Whether you are a customer service leader or a customer, you have most likely witnessed great customer service reps (CSRs) or technical support reps. dealing easily with difficult situations. What makes the best CSRs successful is that they define the moments as difficult situations not as difficult customers.

CSRs can change tough situations into successful outcomes with listening, empathy, knowledge, and action. They can’t change people and the best CSRs know this.

Beat Attribution Error

Attribution error is the tendency to over value personality-based explanations for the observed behaviors of others while under-valuing situational explanations for those behaviors. (Source: Wikipedia).

Stated simply, we think it’s something inside of the people that makes them act badly. Meanwhile when it is our own behavior, we are more likely to attribute it to external conditions.

Since the best CSRs free themselves from the grip of attribution error, they shine and succeed at:

1. Empathy. They walk easily in the customers’ shoes because they believe external conditions have caused the customers’ behavior. If instead you attribute the behavior to something evil or sinister inside of the customers, how or why would you empathize?




2. Empowerment. They believe that they can fix external conditions and this fuels their desire to work through the details and with the customers.




3. Listening. The best CSRs value listening as critically as surgeons value their instruments. It is through listening that they find the external conditions they must fix.




4. Knowledge. They also use the knowledge of previous customers’ behaviors to prevent future attribution error. The best CSRs have proven to themselves that external conditions cause many of the difficult situations — not malicious customers intending harm.




5. Well-timed Action. CSRs caught in the grip of attribution error, often try to push irate or upset customers to calm down. The best CSRs know that listening and well-timed communication calm the customers and unearth the external conditions leading to action.

The implication for training CSRs is quite clear. Have them do a simple exercise like using another company’s website. As they encounter challenges, do they blame themselves for the difficulty or do they blame external conditions like website design, or internet connection speed etc…? Then raise the issue of attribution error.

The next time upset or irate customers call, the CSRs’ attitudes will be far more empathetic. If you have empowered them to take action, you will also see fewer call escalations to team leaders and supervisors.

BONUS: Lower stress. CSRs who view tough moments as difficult situations that they can fix, experience less stress and greater fulfillment. Now that’s motivation!

Yours in service,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach
M.A. Organizational Psychology

©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. For permission to re-post or republish, please email info@katenasser.com.

Related post: Hiring, a Natural Call to Customer Serivce

Handling frustrating people in your personal and professional life is not the same thing. In your personal life, handling those that truly frustrate you, in other words your nudges, can be as simple as walking away from them.

In a professional setting, it requires people skills (also known as soft skills). In truth, you could use these skills in your personal life too.

Handling Frustrating People Image by:JohnBell

In your professional life, the people skills for handling frustrating nudges also:

1. Preserve your professional image
2. Address the work issues and accomplish a goal
3. Foster teamwork and good relations

The professional people skills approach begins not with a skill; it begins with an attitude.  The frustrating feeling often comes from a deeper feeling — loss of control.   Identify the deeper feeling to change your attitude. The professional people skills flow easily from there.

A Short Story. I was scoping a project and it was the third meeting. Another consultant was involved.  She is a wonderful at innovation and creative problem solving — loads of big ideas.  Yet she never lands.  She dreams yet struggles with delivery. My frustration started to mount.  I could feel my body tensing.  I wanted to scream out “more ideas?” and of course couldn’t, wouldn’t and didn’t.

The New Attitude. I took a slow breath (which relaxed my body and composed my mind) and told myself that success was still within my grasp: Self-Empowerment! With the deeper feeling addressed, I said to the clients and the other consultant: “Given the deadline for completion, shall we move ahead with finalizing our approach — or shall we continue to brainstorm new ideas and change the deadline?”

Summary.
Identify why you are frustrated, address that feeling internally to change your attitude, and the professional thing to say will be on your lips.

Who is your frustrating nudge? What type frustrates you? I welcome your stories and techniques in the comments field below.

The challenge of excellence is consistency. One of the biggest risks to excellence is habit and repetition.

Excellence is not a repetitious reproduction of the result from last time.  To be consistently great — to create excellence each time – you must start with a fresh attitude each time.  As a result you have the chance to deliver a better result each time.

The goal of excellence unleashes energy, innovation, and commitment.  The results of repetition are often boredom, assumptions, bad listening and a contrived result that fails.  The key lesson is to never confuse repetition for consistency.  In the workplace the implications are far and wide.

Leadership Implications. What message are you sending to your organization? What attitude are you projecting? Ask your teams, “How do we produce excellent results?” If the answers focus primarily on executing a fixed plan, they may believe that excellence is achieved through repetition. The goal is to be consistently great not repetitiously stuck in one plan.

Sales Implications. Great sales professionals know from experience that a rote repetitious script rarely seals the deal. Assumptions — even with a customer you know well — can lose you the deal as well as the customer relationship. Use the current knowledge about the customer and sharp listening to create appropriate questions, ongoing learning, customized solutions, and an excellent sale each time.

Customer Service & Care Implications. As with sales, customer service and customer care take a fatal turn for the worst when delivered with bad listening and robotic actions. Customers want and respond well to care that seems truly focused on their needs. Consistently great service requires customer service reps (CSRs) to re-initiate listening and caring on each interaction from the moment they start work until they go home. A fresh new positive attitude with each chat consistently delivers excellent service.

Consistently Great - Not Through Repetition Image by:NWLens

Here are several ways. Add your ideas to this list!!

1. Before each meeting or interaction, think “Another opening, another show”.
2. Ask “What has changed and how do we still deliver excellence?”
3. Use knowledge, data, listening, and communication to take informed risks.
4. Learn with each fresh new start. The safety of repetition is an illusion.

©2010 Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ.

If you would like to re-post or re-publish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission.

“Finding fault stops progress; finding solutions ignites success.” I recently wrote and posted that thought on Twitter. Many re-tweeted it and sent various replies. This particular reply caught my eye:

What  do  you  do  when  those  around  you  want  to  find fault  instead  of  finding  solutions?

A great question. Dealing with chronic naysayers can demoralize a team. Dan Rockwell, The LeadershipFreak, notes “Negative people always work to solidify the status quo.” He offers an except from Dr. Robert Sutton’s new book Good Boss, Bad Boss: “Teams with downers produce 40 to 60% less than teams without whiners and complainers.” That rang true to me. When I am around chronic naysayers, I feel like I am pushing a truck up a hill without a motor.

Conversely, when I am around people who focus on finding solutions, they ignite other innovative thoughts that can lead to success. When you watch teams of inventors, they actually highlight failures as steps toward success. They don’t wallow in finding fault with the ideas. They highlight the faulty ideas as a pathway for success!

Finding Solutions Ignites Success Image by:ANDI

So what professional people skills would you use with a peer who always finds fault and complains rather than offers solutions to problems?

Awareness, Attitude, & Personality Type

1. Are they aware that they come across as negative vs. positive? You might think this is a ridiculous question yet many people never think about how they come across. One safe yet effective way of showing this to a peer is to ask them a “how to” question when they are simply complaining. If they reply “I don’t know how to fix it but this won’t work”, let them know that you would value their ideas and solutions. Continue on to say that you “respect their right to focus on what won’t work yet you find that it demoralizes you. Perhaps they could share those thoughts with someone else.” If someone is going to change their attitude, they must first be aware of how their attitude is impacting others and the bottom line.
2. If the complaining continues, say “I may be wrong about this yet I perceive your remarks as an attempt to slow the change. Is that correct?” I did this one day and the complainer said “yes”! Once his attitude was out on the table, the leader addressed the change resistance with the complainer in private.
3. What personality type are they?  Driver types are so focused on the end result they assume that others are too. They often skip telling you the positive aspects of your idea and jump to the faults with the intention of reaching success more quickly. If you are not a driver personality type, you may likely see this as negativity or a personal slight to your value. Drivers are not the classic naysayer type. Nonetheless, their abrupt approach can demoralize and slow a team’s progress just like a chronic naysayer. Tell the driver type that you also are focusing on the end result. Yet you need to hear the positives as well as the faults to innovate and reach success.

Achieving success requires a great attitude, communication, awareness, and action.

Attitudes of fear and selfishness breed pure fault finding that can derail success. Awareness of those attitudes is the first step to return you all to the success track. Communicating only the negatives when you see the positives robs some teammates of the inspiration to continue innovating. If you are a driver type, don’t mistake the need to hear the positives as a lack of action. It spurs many non-drivers on to the finish line!

What else would you say or do with a peer who is always finding fault instead of solutions? I welcome your ideas in the comment section below.

The best customer service representative (CSR) training on dealing with and handling an irate customer tells you to not take it personally and suggests appropriate things to say to calm the customer. Yet in the 20 years I have been teaching how to handle an irate customer, the most frequent question CSRs and technical support reps ask me is how to stay objective and not take it personally.

Message to Each CSR: Choose either mindset that makes the most sense to you. Use it and you will stay objective. You can use both. I use #1 every time and add more of #2 when I feel my objectivity slipping.

1. Don’t seize control! A car stops when the driver applies the brakes, or hits an obstacle, or runs out of gas. You are not driving the car. The customer is driving. If you reach over and try to apply the brakes, the customer will most likely fight back. It’s hard to stay objective when you are in a fight. If you start talking right away, you become the obstacle and the crash leaves dents/scars on you and them. Again, it will be tough to stay objective when you are scarred. If you let the driver and the car run out of gas, you stay objective and ready to help. The driver asks for help when the car can no longer run. Caution: This is not a comic moment. Do not say, “I’ll just wait for you to run out of gas and then you will listen to me.” This is a mindset not something you say.




2. Yours is to Heal! The next time a customer is yelling, picture this: You see a stranger in a restaurant fall and get hurt. S/he is lying on the floor right next to your table yelling in pain. Would you think they were yelling about you and get upset with them? Probably not. It’s the same with your customer. Like a medical professional or a para-medic — yours is to heal.

A Broken Trust. Irate customers feel they have been wronged. Your company has lost their trust. They want you to know that they have a right to be upset. If you speak too soon, they think you are telling them they are wrong.  Let them have their say. As much as you do not like to hear irate customers, it is a sign that they are still interested in your company. Else they would simply walk away forever and tell everyone they know!

When they are done with the emotion, your empathy and action will resolve the issue. When you do this service recovery well, you may actually turn this irate customer into a loyal customer. It’s possible!

Take a look this footage on adapting to personality types for a little taste of the fun: Spot and Adapt to Each Customer’s Personality Type.

Yours in service,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach

©2010-2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Flickr: HugoVK

Is your positive attitude helping yourself and others?  Or are you so extremely positive that you drive others crazy?  Science Daily (July 3, 2009) published an article on the research of Dr. Joanne Wood and Dr. John Lee with interesting results about positive self-affirmations.   The results showed that some people do better when they are allowed to verbalize both the negative and the positive.    (See link below.)

I have a positive view of life and see life’s challenges straight ahead of me.  I take action to create a good life and learn from my experiences — both good and bad   However, I meet others who see the negatives more than the positives.  They live differently and I respect their choices.  Some have told me they were inspired by my positive outlook and actions.  Others go their own way.  I have also met people who try to convert me to their positivism before seeing how positive I already am!  This turns me off to what they have to offer.

So here are three steps to prevent positivism from being patronizing, controlling, and insensitive in everyday life.  [NOTE: In organizations and teams, positive can-do attitudes and positive disagreements are essential to meeting goals.  Too much negativity can slow momentum and derail end results.]

1.Coach only when asked.  In everyday life, don’t elect yourself someone else’s life coach.  Even positive words like “I would like to encourage you to …” are somewhat arrogant if the person didn’t ask for your help.   Live and enjoy your own positivism but don’t declare yourself Prince of PositiveLand and issue decrees.  You may become known as a royal pain in the a_ _.

2. Listen in the moment and understand others’ perspectives.  Listening builds trust through respect.  Extremely positive people are sometimes so busy encouraging others to be positive they don’t stop and listen to the moment others are in.  Everyone in this life is on a journey and they travel at different speeds.   Some get to positivism faster than others.  Some don’t even want to go there.  Exception: If you are a leading an organization through change and a true resistor is slowing the pace with mega-negativity, you will need to address that very clearly to ensure the momentum of change.

3.Disagree honestly and with respect. Become comfortable with honest respectful disagreement.  People disagree in life.  Working through disagreements often delivers great results.  Yet sometimes extremely positive people patronize during a disagreement because they seek immediate harmony.  Disagreement can be a positive if it is respectful.

Live positively and let others see your positive outlook and actions.  Be careful of pushing them to be positive — you could create the opposite effect.

I welcome your additions to this list and your other relevant comments below.  Here is the link to the Science Daily article mentioned above: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/07/090702110503.htm

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach

MA Organizational Psychology