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Rude customers in customer service work do not have to wear to you down. Rude customers can actually be the best people-skills learning experience you will ever have. Think these 5 things when working with rude customers for best results and to avoid getting upset. I have been teaching people-skills, teamwork, and customer service for 20+ years. The right thoughts and mindset affect everything.

THINK these 5 things and let the people-skills learning begin!! Do it daily as a mantra and your outlook toward rude customers (and rude people in general) will change.

Thoughts for Rude Customers By:Yogendra174

1. Thorns don’t attack you; they protect them.
   Plants have thorns to protect them. So do people. When you hear a person’s thorns, recognize their fear and weakness. The thorns are not attacking you. They are protecting them. Do not attack out of your fear and you will not get pricked by their thorns.




2. Easy doesn’t sharpen a thorn. One of the most common questions I receive is “Aren’t we teaching them to be rude next time if we are nice to rude customers this time?” No! Your positive responses do not teach them to be thornier! Thorny customers are adults who make their own decisions.




3. De-thorning them will hurt you! If a stranger tried to kick down your defense mechanisms (like your front door), how would you react? The customers do not have a family relationships or close friendships with you. To them you are a stranger. If you try to clip their thorns directly, they will prick you back.




4. Empathize Emotion; Don’t Analyze the Thorns! Trying to analyze a customer’s thorns in the few minutes you have to deliver service is not feasible or logical. It takes therapists years to analyze a client’s emotions. Yours is to deliver service, not to change the customer. Show empathy for their emotion; don’t analyze their thorns.




5. Positivity Beats Equality; Don’t be a Thorn! During a recent workshop a technical support rep asked me “Why does a rude customer acting badly deserved to be treated well?”. I replied, “You treat the customer well because it works. It gets you to the end goal.” Treating the customer badly will not get the customer to treat you well. More importantly, it will veer you off course from business success. Positivity beats equality as a winning strategy in customer service.

Be the sun, not the thorn. You can’t change people yet you can influence the situation!

©2010-2011 Kate Nasser, The People-SKills Coach, Somerville, NJ.
If you with to reprint or republish this article or any portion of it, please email info@katenasser.com for permission. Thank you for honoring intellectual capital.

A current online article, 10 Things You Would Like to Say to a Rude Customer claims that the world is becoming more uncivil and that rude customers are wearing down customer service reps (CSRs).

The first half of the claim may be true. The second need not be. You and your entire team can start each customer service day with 5 emotionally intelligent thoughts to deliver the best customer service. If you choose the 10 thoughts in the article noted above, then you are choosing to become part of the uncivil world.

My passion and work for 20+ years has been emotionally intelligent (EI) people-skills for the best customer service and teamwork. Trust me, great people-skills emerge from the right mindset. What you are thinking when you are with the customer will become your customer service persona and affect your daily happiness. If right now, you want to say to me “they ruin my daily happiness”, then you are embracing their mindset and living their life.

Customer Service Thoughts By:Marine*B

Choose Your Mindset – Not Theirs.
Before you start each customer service day, choose and fill your mind with the 5 best emotionally intelligent (EI) customer service thoughts. It will also transmit to every customer — the “rude” ones and the civil ones. So just as a satellite receives and sends signals, your mindset can do the same.

1. Put Your Mindset on the Right Channel to Get a Clear Picture
   If you set your mind purely on the emotion coming at you, you will most likely view the transmission emotionally. I hear the emotion so that I can empathize. Yet my mind is tuned to what the customer needs not to the emotion.




2. Empathize Emotion; Don’t Analyze It! Trying to analyze or justify a customer’s emotion in the few minutes you have to deliver service is not feasible or logical. It takes therapists years to analyze a client’s emotions. Yours is to deliver service, not to change the customer.




3. Don’t Trade a Shiny Heirloom Coin for a Slug. Why trade your positive mindset for the negative one coming at you? If you had a valuable heirloom coin and someone walked up and offered you a slug coin, would you trade it? Hardly. Hold on to your positive outlook. It will give you and your loved ones a lifetime of happiness.




4. Positivity Beats Equality! During a recent workshop a technical support rep asked me “Why does a customer acting badly deserved to be treated well?”. I replied, “Because it works. Treating the customer well gets you to the end goal. Positivity beats equality as a winning strategy in customer service. Treating the customer badly will not get the customer to treat you well and it will veer you off course from business success.




5. Recharge Your Battery. It takes energy to speak positively and energy can drain. Did you ever notice that you get less patient as you get tired? Most people do. So make sure you recharge your battery after work and throughout the day. Heck even cell phones lose their strength and we plug them in and give them juice. Do the same for yourself. You deserve it!

Remember, inner strength is its own billboard. When you find yourself thinking the 10 thoughts in the article noted at the beginning of this post, you are spraying graffiti on your own billboard — your precious mindset and happiness. The customer has not ruined your day. You have chosen to live their emotion. Live your life, not theirs.

©2010-2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Ways Leaders Address Conflict By:TarikB

Some leaders see conflict as active teamwork that produces the best ideas. Other leaders see conflict as non-teamwork. It is likely that conflict will occur on teams. The key question is: What are the best ways for leaders to address conflict for the best teamwork results?

I asked leaders: How do you address conflict on and between teams to get great teamwork results regardless of the situation?

The responses I received:

1. The best way to address conflict to ensure teamwork results is: “Select individual team members for their great attitude and for their ability to work on diverse teams in difficult situations.”
   
2. “We deal with each conflict as it arises. I first ask the people to work it out. If they can’t, I step in and resolve the conflict.”
3. “I tell everyone to stay focused on the team goals and overlook the rest.”
   
4. “I am not a baby sitter. Team members are adults. I tell them to work it out between them.”
   
5. “I don’t like conflict.  I try to make peace as quickly as possible when I am confronted. I am not sure how to arbitrate disputes when it is between two other people.”

Try My Proven Practices to Address Team Conflict

By:CountryGirlAtHeart

Have each person present the other person’s view. This helps turn the conflict into a productive exchange of ideas. Teach this technique and moderate while they are learning.

By:StewF

Ask yourself, what conditions are leading to this conflict? As a leader, have you been unclear about goals? Have you fallen short in handling organizational politics and put teams at odds with each other? Do you hide from conflict and hope it will just go away?

Instead, show everyone how to communicate honestly with respect and without brutality. Read more at … 4 Spring Training Exercises for Best Teamwork Results

A recent MSN CareerBuilder article What They Should Have Taught You in School offers insightful practical advice to all GEN Y (aka Millenials). The writer, Anthony Balderrama, did a great job of amassing lessons learned and best advice on the professional people-skills you will need to succeed at work. I contributed three tips for that article.

Yet the topic is so valuable to GEN Y and to all those changing careers, that I include here more of the best professional people-skills to learn before work.

Six of the Best Professional People-Skills to Learn for Work:

Kudos and a heartfelt thank you to Verizon Wireless CSR Lori-El.

Best CSRs Do This! Photo by:Photophonic

Customer service rep (CSR) Lori-El worked through confusing issues on my account with an inquisitive intelligent approach while taking care (and I do mean care) of me. I would definitely rate her as one of the best call center CSRs I have had in recent times.

In the last blog post I focused on The 25 Worst Customer Service Stories to Train the Best CSRs.

Today I am very pleased to outline how the best CSRs act in delivering customer service. Please add your best actions in the comments field below.

Best CSRs Action Checklist

Verizon Wireless CSR Lori-El did this well in delivering customer service.

1. Sincere conversation not a scripted recitation.
2. Listens for the customer’s personality and demeanor and then maps actions to it.
3. Listens to every piece of information the customer offers without jumping over words.
4. Shares control of the call with the customer instead of driving it through a predetermined path.
5. Listens to the customer’s level of knowledge and speaks to that level (not above or below).
6. Thanks the customer for input during the call not just at the end.
7. Apologizes once for the length of time it is taking to resolve it and keeps moving on resolving it!
8. Asks permission to access the customer’s records and then uses the information to go the extra mile.
9. Continues to listen to related questions and answers them clearly.
10. Uses confusing moments to learn and then teach the customer instead of saying. “I don’t know.”
11. Is honest about current obstacles to resolution and then finds a work-around!
12. Sounds happy to be at work even when doing overtime or having a tough day.
13. Streamlines future contact by giving an updated phone number to call.
14. Uses positive forward focused language instead of negative phrases.
15. The conversation shows responsibility and initiative in resolving the problems. Never blames the customer.
16. Resolves the current issues and then considers the customer’s future needs and forecasts solutions. (e.g. If you switch to a Blackberry or SmartPhone you might encounter this problem and we can fix that as well.)
17. Tone of voice throughout the call is sincere, focused, and action-oriented.  Closing remark reflects that as well.

Please feel free to add your best actions to this list in the comments field below.

The 25 Worst CS Stories. Photo By:mlibrarianus

As The People-Skills Coach and a professional customer service trainer, I use both positive and negative real life stories to train Help Desk analysts, Customer Care teams, Customer Service Reps (CSRs), and Call Center agents. The positive stories define the model of great service behavior. The negative stories address the emotional intelligence team members need to deliver memorable service.

The 25 Worst Customer Service Stories

1. The foul language is clearly wrong. Will your CSRs quickly identify the other critical error in this exchange? Here’s the story: I had a problem with a new piece of electronic equipment and called for assistance. The first technician I talked with insisted that there was nothing wrong with his company’s equipment, that it must be my fault. When I explained that everything in the network had worked perfectly until I powered the new item up, he laughed at me. When I asked to talk to his supervisor, he responded with the infamous two letter expletive and hung up. I called back and spoke with a different tech who was able to resolve the problem in a matter of minutes and who then asked his supervisor to join us on the line. When I told the supervisor of my earlier experience, she asked me to give her one day so she could resolve the problem. She called back in less than fifteen minutes to tell me that she and the call center manager had reviewed the tape of the call, fired the original technician, and promoted the second one to a customer service training position. It went from being the worst customer service experience ever to one of the best in less than half an hour.
   –Submitted by: Ron B.
   
   
2. The story: I was trying to get some information from the local cable company, Comcast, about my bill. I couldn’t understand the different groupings of channels which had no explanation just names like Extended Package. She couldn’t explain it and kept getting the same channels in different groupings. I said, very politely, “I don’t understand your explanation, is there someone else who can explain it to me so I will understand it.” She replied: “You’re stupid.” Then she hung up.
   –Submitted by: Elaine B.
   
   
3. “You’re not following our process.” Sadly, this was said to a customer by one of my own CSRs.  This was a wake-up call for sure.
   –Submitted by: Drew J.
   
   
4. “I’m sorry, but that’s our Policy and I’m not connecting you with my supervisor.”
   This reply is anathema to the reason for customer service — to serve the customer (the person with the $$$ they want).  I could care less about their policies.  My policy is that I don’t do business with companies that don’t treat me with respect and give me value for my money.  If something doesn’t work, then just fix it.  If you don’t know – then say “I don’t know, but let me find out for you.”  Companies are run by humans and humans make mistakes.  I don’t judge them badly because they make a mistake.  It’s how they resolve the mistake that matters.
   –Submitted by: David G.
   
   
5. Can you believe this interaction? Here’s the story: In our large grocery store, I asked about the cinnamon buns that were in the sample dome. The employee I asked said that they were very fattening and I could do with losing some weight!
   –Submitted by: Andrew F.
   
   
6. I explained to a DELL rep that I had 12 new laptops that would not power on no matter what I did.  His answer to me was “What do you want me to do about it?”  I said excuse me?  He clarified by saying “if they don’t power on I can’t trouble shoot them and if they aren’t powering on it has to be something you did to them that made them not work.” I still have nightmares.
   –Submitted by: Liz M.
   
   
7. “You will have to go online to and fix this.” I replied “Seriously? I am talking to customer service – a real live human being and you can’t do a thing for me? “Yes ma’am, you need to go online to do this.”  So I asked her, “What, exactly, do you do?”  Silence.
   –Submitted by: Shelly S.
   
   
8. It’s not our fault that you have this problem – it’s yours.” (Big Insurance Company in the UK)
   –Submitted by: Ian T.
   
   
9. I’m still fuming from my experience with Travelocity/ABC Airline this morning. Woke up sick as a dog, needing to catch a flight at 7:00. I’ve probably booked one hundred flights with Travelocity and I have always paid the $20.00 insurance if changes ever come up, including unexpected illness. I have never actually used this insurance but was happy to have it until I was told from ABC Airline: “I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do for you.”  And, then again from Travelocity, “I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do for you.” Lesson learned. Don’t buy Travelocity’s insurance. Or, better yet, avoid Travelocity.
   –Submitted by: Anonymous
   
   
10. Is this stupidity or lack of caring? The story: A pharmacy CSR refused to authorize one of my meds. When I told her I had been waiting 2 weeks and explained the effects of not having them,  she said ”maybe you should see a doctor about these new symptoms.”
    –Submitted by: Denise C.
    
    
11. Are your CSRs so busy following scripts that they don’t listen? Here’s the story:  My father passed away.  I called a credit card company to cancel his account.  I said, “My name is Debra. My father Pat passed away and I am the Executor of the Estate. I am calling to cancel his account.”
    The CSR replied, “Well, I need to talk to Pat.” I said, “Listen very carefully. He’s DEAD – now if you want to talk to him, you’ll have to figure out how to. GIVE ME YOUR SUPERVISOR!”   The Supervisor got on the phone and I said, “Do you have a connection with God?”  She cracked up laughing – she had heard about the conversation.
    – Submitted by: Deborah B.
    
    
12. I called HP customer service about a new HP printer that wouldn’t interface with my Mac (even though the company swore it would easily work).  After hours of being on hold and being told that I had obviously done something wrong or just couldn’t understand, the rep told me “Yeah, really not my problem, lady.” So I went to Apple. They figured out the problem – and were nice.
    –Submitted by: Julie G.
    
    
13. My favorite bad customer service response was “it is working as designed” after the support agent was able to duplicate (and agree with) an obvious bug/error in a popular word processing program.
    –Submitted by: Tom M.
    
    
14. “You should buy one of those bust reducing bras from Marks & Spencers.” This was in a clothing store said by one of the stick thin pre-pubescent staff.  This is customer service? I don’t think so!
    –Submitted by: Emma C.
    
    
15. Is this the new version of customer self-service ? The story: I was checking out at WalMart, with my elderly Mom and small kids in tow.  A pair of $8 shoes I was buying rang up for $10. I questioned the clerk on the price at which time she said “No they rang up for $10. “You can go back there and check it yourself”. I wasn’t about to do that, so I just settled up for the $10. grrrr.  Got home and pulled the shoes out of the box and guess what. The actual price tag on the shoes said $8! Next day I went back to customer service and happened to be waited on by the same clerk at which time she said, ”That wasn’t my fault; it was the cash register. I can’t help you”.  I had to find the store manager to get the issue resolved.  He not only gave me all my money back, but he let me keep the shoes.
    –Submitted by: Amanda K.
    
    
16. I had spent well over 3 hours on the phone with customer service/tech. support, having been repeatedly put on hold, transferred, and disconnected. I called back after yet another disconnection after being on hold for several minutes. The person who answered started to go into their script, asking me for irrelevant information. I told the person that I just needed to be connected to XYZ because I had been disconnected after being on the phone with them for over three hours. The CSR went to a very long speech about how he’d be happy to transfer me. I didn’t need a speech. I just needed him to transfer me. I told him this. He repeated the speech. His scripted, inhuman “courteousness” just made me angry and hate the company.
    –Submitted by: Joe S.
    
    
17. Have your CSRs ever said this? “There is nothing I can do for you.”  I asked for a supervisor they told me that the supervisor will tell me the same thing!
    –Submitted by: Sahar A.
    
    
18. This one is beyond belief — yet true. Here’s the story: I was hosting a party for 150 people and needed catering prices 7 weeks prior to party to review bids, select caterer, or determine another venue. I had a drop-dead due date and explained that.  When I contacted the caterer for prices because they hadn’t contacted me by the morning of the due date, my main contact was on vacation and left no information. I was fuming. Obviously, they did not get my business.  When I finally reached the caterer to determine how they could have made such an error, he said “I decided you didn’t need it by your due date.” I was appalled.  How could they decide my due date? I did contact the management office and heads did roll. This was not lost business from this one event, but there were 5 hosts involved (their friends) and word of mouth travels fast.  While management appreciated my comments, they were foolish in not throwing me some type of bone to offset the situation. In a world where it’s tough to get business, this is not acceptable.
    –Submitted by: Lisa R.
    
    
19. “ya wesd rufj dimn uklod doodop” In other words, the worst customer service ever was delivered by someone who spoke no comprehensible English. I’ve heard it hundreds of times to lesser degrees, but in one case it was entirely incomprehensible. When will these companies learn that customer service agents need to actually be comprehensible in the language they are supposedly supporting?
    –Submitted by: John B.
    
    
20. How would your CSRs reply to this request? Here’s the story: I lost my cable service for 3 days. Apparently, it was a system wide failure and thousands of customers were affected. During the course of my conversation, I said something like “Please just credit me for 3 days worth of service.” The rep said, “We can’t do that. Do you know how much it would cost us if we credited everyone for the past three days?”
    –Submitted by: Phil F.
    
    
21. “I am sorry but that’s our policy”. Even if the CSR says it politely, this is a statement that can tick anybody off. Such a statement exudes rigidity and inflexibility, which is the last thing a customer wants to hear when he/she calls customer service with a genuine problem.  This statement, if used too many times by a customer service agent during a call would generally lead to an escalation or loss of a customer, which indicates the poor performance of the agent.
    –Submitted by: Om D.
    
    
22. Have you taught your CSRs the difference between professional and personal behavior? Here’s the story: I was speaking with a customer service representative about a problem I was having.  I said, “I know it’s not your fault.” She said, “That’s right.  It’s not my fault.” She is the representative of a company. She should accept responsibility even if it’s not her personal fault!
    –Submitted by: Randi B.
    
    
23. Here’s one of the recent nightmares I lived through. There was a charge on my Citibank Mastercard from a vendor who renewed my $400 membership without asking me.  I spoke with the vendor and he agreed to send a credit into the credit card company for the charge.  Since the credit card bill was due in 15 days, I called the credit card company to ensure that I wouldn’t have to pay $400 up front only to have it credited back later.  The CSR who answered the phone went into his long drawn out scripted answer. I asked to speak with a supervisor and after waiting on hold, the supervisor started another scripted answer.  I said “I am a busy person and I just need a simple direct answer.” He replied: “I am sorry you called when you were busy.  We are open 24 hours a day.” I stopped using that card.  I will not give my money to a company whose representatives communicate sarcastically and blame me for their slow scripted service.
    –Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach
    
    
24. I had a credit card and somehow after a year the bank changed my zip code and I didn’t get the bill. When they called I explained I never got a bill.  After we found the issue I asked for a refund of the late fee. Though I got it eventually I was initially told,  “You are responsible for your bill, we only send the statement as a convenience to you.”
    –Submitted by: Shawn D.
    
    
25. What would your CSRs say if they had difficulty communicating with a customer? Would they sound like this CSR who acted as if she was the sergeant in charge.  Here’s the story: A CSR at a big box cable company in the Midwest said to me:  “You’re not listening to me. “
    –Submitted by: Linda L.
    
    

The key training topics from this list include emotional intelligence, customer care outlook, listening skills, the perilous effects of procedur-itis, ownership, and clear communication.

I am ready to inspire and train any and all of your employees who work with internal or external customers — your business’ most valuable resource! Just give me a call and we will discuss the training to deliver memorable customer service for the greatest return on your investment.

Please feel free to leave your comments or customer service stories and insights in the field below. If customer service is your passion, take a look at a related post on this blog “Ace Your Next Customer Service Moment.”

©2010 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.