collaboration

Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: Risk Free Success!


Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: Image is person breaking through and emerging through a wall.

Listening Beyond Our Boundaries. Image licensed from Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com


We succeed in leadership, teamwork, employee engagement, customer service and relationships in general when we listen beyond our boundaries.

Listening beyond our boundaries solves problems and prevents problems. It turns perceived gaps into understanding. It magically draws people together to do the impossible. There is nothing to stop us.


All we need to do is get started!


Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: 2 Minute Quick Start Video















When has listening beyond your boundaries created surprising results?

How can we help others to listen beyond their boundaries?

Or must everyone do it on their own?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Listening Responsibility: Listen While We Speak!

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership: Do You See a Generation Gap or an Intersection?


Every day  I hear leaders talk about the generation gap in the workplace.  I read about it blogs.  My reaction is, it’s an intersection — not a gap!


When the leadership in an organization see and focus on the differences, they widen the gap.  When the leadership see the possibilities at the intersection of talents, the gap narrows and even disappears.



Leadership: Find the Generation Intersections!

Gaps among diverse people are temporary not permanent. Consider how many times gaps have faded into sudden connection and teamwork in everyday life …

  • Disparate groups — even mistrustful factions — who pull together in a major crisis to save lives
  • Prospects who don’t want to talk to a sales person — until the sales rep finds the common ground
  • Private venture capitalists who embrace very young entrepreneurs when high potential and profit is staring them in the face
  • Very young entrepreneurs who truly welcome older experienced investors and advisers to increase success



Everyone Has a Story
We’ve all seen grandparents captivate their grandchildren with stories of the past. My young niece, when hearing me tell funny stories about relatives she never knew, blurted out “tell more stories!” This was after a long holiday meal where she was the only child at the table. You would think she would have been bored. No! She wanted to connect/intersect with generations she never knew.

What common elements turn the generation gap into an intersection?

  1. Positive, fun, upbeat, hopeful moments
  2. Possibilities and abundance for everyone not exclusions and shortage of opportunities
  3. Mutual gain from respecting diverse talents and views
  4. Higher calling or need as in a crisis

Leadership Generations Intersection: Image is intersecting circles.

Leadership Generations Intersection Not Gap via Istock.com.




What can leadership do to create these intersections?

  1. Create positive opportunities for the generations to intersect.
  2. Highlight the abundance of success that awaits instead of the tough times and narrowing opportunities.
  3. Team build with employees’ stories. The generations intersect as they see common human needs and responses emerge and merge.






Images licensed from Istock.com

Why bother? Because …






Leaders, help the generations to intersect. The time is now. I have many team building programs to make this happen. Let’s do it!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Teamwork Posts:
Leadership: 5 Essentials to Build 21st Century Teams
Leadership People Skills: 5 Ways to Spark Team Agility

©2013-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Exceptional Empowerment: Do Employees Think They Can’t Ask You?

Empower your employees! This has become the leadership mantra of the decade. It develops new talent. It prevents the horror of micro-managing BUT …


Do empowered employees believe they must go it alone?


Leaders, if you want the results of exceptional empowerment, make it clear that it’s OK to tap expertise.






Exceptional Empowerment: Image is flying statues.

Exceptional Empowerment: Includes Mentoring & Collaboration Image by Martin Pettitt via Flickr.

Grateful for image by Martin Pettitt via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Exceptional Empowerment: Include Input & Collaboration

When leaders first try empowering employees, they often go astray. They mistakenly communicate to employees to go it alone.


“Don’t ask me. You’re empowered!”


That statement undermines empowerment. Avoid this risk. Finish the statement.


“Don’t ask me for permission. You’re empowered.”

 

Those two extra words, for permission, make a big difference. Empowered employees don’t ask for permission. They ask for input, knowledge, and perspective.




Leadership Steps to Exceptional Empowerment

  • Mentor. Empower with knowledge and experience. Don’t go from micro-managing to abandonment. Share your knowledge. Mentor through questions instead of leading with commands.

  • Distinguish exploring from struggling. Throwing someone into the deep end unprepared creates struggle. Sharing knowledge empowers exploration. The former can leave unproductive scars. The latter fuels greatness. Training wheels on a bicycle don’t stop the learning. Riders still have to peddle and steer around obstacles.

  • Define empowerment as development and sharing power — not delegation. Development suggests learning and growth. It shares power through knowledge and collaboration.

    Delegation doesn’t empower. It assigns responsibility. The delegators still have the power. Those delegated to represent those doing the delegating. This is not empowerment.





Make a smart start to exceptional empowerment. Don’t go from a hierarchical, solo work culture, directly to empowerment. Shift to a collaborative culture first. It makes sharing knowledge the norm. Exceptional empowerment in the organization develops easily from there.


Your turn: Do you empower people to collaborate or to go it alone?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Teamwork Collaboration: Leadership Beliefs That Kill It
The True Cost of Fake Empowerment

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Teamwork Collaboration: Leaders, Is Your Competitive Spirit Killing It?


Teamwork Collaboration Killers: Image is large foot stepping on a person.

Teamwork Collaboration: Leadership Beliefs That Kill It! Image via Istock.com.

Image licensed via Istock.com


Business owners and leaders hold a competitive spirit in high regard. They often have it and hire for it. They say, “without a competitive spirit how would a business succeed, right? Not necessarily.


Today’s business environment also requires tremendous teamwork collaboration. Innovation needs it. Sales needs it. Superior customer experience needs it. Project completion needs it. In truth, teamwork collaboration is absolutely essential for business success.





It doesn’t have to.



Teamwork Collaboration: Check Your Competitive Beliefs!

Leaders, what are your competitive beliefs doing to your teams’ interaction and collaboration? It’s an important question. Attitude and beliefs drive your behavior and the culture of your organization.

  1. Do you equate collaboration with weakness, laziness, even failure? Your initial answer may be no! Do your actions prove that out? Do you truly value, respect, and elevate high collaborators?

    Do you see collaborators as leaders who can build that culture? Or do you place them under competitive employees? Whom do you promote to a higher position? Great collaborators or individualists with a competitive spirit?


  2. Do you believe collaborators need coddling? In a recent chat, one leader proclaimed he doesn’t have time to coddle people. He prefers competitive types. Coddle?

    True collaborators are not super sensitive people who demand constant support. They are talented employees who know how to initiate ideas and work with others to reach a collective result. If you believe you must coddle collaborators, you may kill teamwork collaboration.


  3. Do you believe that progress stagnates without rivalry and competition? Some people need rivalry to work hard. Yet, natural collaborators find it a huge turnoff. To them it’s distracting. They are already motivated to work hard with others. Rivalry is the antithesis of this.

  4. Do you think that competition builds strength, confidence and backbones? Not in everyone. Many collaborators are motivated through synergy of talents not contests of conquering. Moreover, natural collaborators are not spineless weak adults who lack confidence. They are strong enough to have their own voice and honor others’ as well.

    Leaders, how are your team members motivated? Through competition or collaboration? If you are leading with a competitive philosophy because it’s comfortable for you, you may be killing teamwork collaboration.




How well do you understand the collaborative mind?



Leaders inspire teamwork collaboration when they …

  • Know their teams members and what inspires them. “Celebrate those who compete, celebrate those who collaborate. An ocean refuses no river.” ~@AJManik

  • Recognize when competition is creating a deadlock and help team members see why it’s happening. This is important when you have competitors and collaborators on the same team.

  • Overcome the myth that collaboration is everyone thinking the same thing. It isn’t. It’s diverse views without the mindset of who’s right/wrong and who’s going to win. Help team members learn to disagree with respect, to reach collaborative results.

  • Remember that initiative is different from competition. Initiative and a can-do attitude are always valuable. They keep the business moving toward success. Yet, competition sometimes kills much needed teamwork collaboration.

  • Address domineering non-collaborators even if they are great individual performers. If you justify their behavior with their results you undermine teamwork collaboration.








What progress truly requires is initiative, can-do attitudes, critical thinking, innovation, and great execution. You can find this in both natural competitors AND collaborators. Know who you are leading and inspire them to great heights!


Competitor or collaborator – Which do you think makes a better leader?

Which do you prefer as a leader?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Book Keynotes:
GPS Your Brain to Work w/ Any Personality Type
Leaders, Be a Buoy of Inspiration & Balance


More Blog Posts on Related Topics:
Are You an Annoying Maverick or a Welcome Initiator?
Teamwork Collaboration: Do You Welcome People In or Push Them Out?

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Is Leadership a Contest? Tell us what you think in Sunday’s People Skills Chat.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Aug. 3, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
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Is Leadership a Contest?

Is everything a competition? Is that what leadership is in its core? Some say yes and others say no.

Greg Richardson weighed in with his post Leadership is Not a Contest. It gave us much to ponder and inspired our upcoming people skills chat.


Is Leadership a Contest? Image is People skills logo

Is Leadership a Contest? Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Is Leadership a Contest? If Not, What Is It?

Do we lead to conquer and win? Do we lead to collaborate and create win/win? It’s an interesting subject that impacts people and results.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance of Sunday’s #Peopleskills Twitter chat:

  • “Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.” ~David Sarnoff founder of RCA Agree/Disagree?
  • What attitudes in leaders make leadership a contest?
  • If you don’t see life as a contest, can you be successful as a leader? Pls. explain.
  • What are the advantages and disadvantages of seeing leadership as a competition/contest?
  • How do competition and motivation relate?
  • Do you see yourself as more competitive or collaborative? Why?
  • What do competition and collaboration have in common?
  • How can very collaborative people work for/with competitive types?
  • For competitive leaders to be successful, what attitudes must they hire in others?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday Aug. 3, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills chat on Is Leadership a Contest?


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to this week’s inspiration for this post Greg Richardson and the people skills community. Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Aug. 3, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights and perspective on Is Leadership a Contest?

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. Aug. 3rd, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Twitter Chat “Is Leadership a Contest?”



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Making Aggression Unacceptable is our people skills chat topic this Sunday.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday July 27, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



Making Aggression Unacceptable: Is It Possible With People Skills?

Aggression is all around us in the world right now. Politics aside, we wonder how can we make aggression unacceptable? How can we overcome the tendency for aggression and focus on productive peace?

Joining me as co-host for this discussion on making aggression unacceptable will be Dave Moore, founder of the The Moore Consortium. Dave hails from UK and reaches around the globe with his human potential transformation workshops (#HPTTransformation).


Making Aggression Unacceptable. Image is People skills logo

Making Aggression Unacceptable. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Making Aggression Unacceptable: Is It Desirable & Possible?

Dave Moore and I had several discussions as we wondered if the topic was viable and desirable for a people skills chat.

Although it took us longer than usual to formulate it, we never swayed from the importance of the topic of making aggression unacceptable. So we turn this Sunday to all the people skills chat participants to add their voice and dig deeper into this vision.

We can explore, from many aspects, making aggression unacceptable. We invite you to lend your perspective without politics to this topic that touches all of humanity. Some questions to get us thinking in advance of Sunday’s #Peopleskills Twitter chat:

  • What is your definition of aggression? Violence?
  • How does it differ from a competitive spirit?
  • Do you see life as individual existence or connectedness? Competition or collaboration?
  • How does that affect views about aggression, if at all?
  • Why do you think aggression is so common in the world today?
  • If trust doesn’t exist, is aggression inevitable?
  • What does harmony represent to you: Success, happiness, or sacrifice/loss?
  • How can we as humans bring a powerful voice of peace to everyday life?
  • Destruction/violence: What can we do in the face of it?
  • How can we make people skills the preferred choice over aggression?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday July 27, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills chat about making aggression unacceptable.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to this week’s co-host Dave Moore and the people skills community. Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday July 27, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on making aggression unacceptable. This will not be about politics. Our focus is about humanity and peace.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. July 27, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Twitter Chat about making aggression unacceptable.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Emotional Intelligence Impulse Control – Sunday’s People Skills Twitter Chat Topic

WHEN: Join us Sunday April 6, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



Background on Emotional Intelligence Impulse Control

Balance is very important in developing relationships both at work and in everyday life. When we act purely on our own impulses, others may see us self-absorbed, insensitive, and in extreme cases, socially misfit. Yet the key question is, where is the balance point? How can we each control our impulses to respect others and still be authentically ourselves?

Join us Sunday April 6, 2014, 10am EDT in #peopleskills Twitter chat to explore emotional intelligence and impulse control. My co-hosts will be Ed Hennessy (@Leadershipcall) and Chris Hennessy (@EIInspired).



Emotional Intelligence Impulse Control Twitter Chat: People skills logo

Emotional Intelligence Impulse Control Twitter Chat. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


People Skills Twitter Chat: Emotional Intelligence Impulse Control

Work interactions — especially collaboration and teamwork — require both self-restraint and giving. When team members act purely on impulse, their actions impact others. When they mostly overlook others’ needs to play out their view, the results can be disastrous.

Join us in global people skills Twitter chat (#Peopleskills) this Sunday April 6th at 10am EDT to explore the delicate balance of emotional intelligence impulse control. Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • How do you define impulsive behavior?
  • What emotions trigger impulsive behaviors?
  • How do you typically deal with an impulse to act?
  • In what situations is reacting impulsively a positive?
  • How does someone’s low impulse control impact you?
  • How might your impulsive behavior impact others & relationships?
  • What are some ways we can improve our impulse control?



These are just some questions to get us thinking before we begin. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join me and the people skills global chat community this Sunday April 6, 2014, 10am EDT on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to explore People Skills: Emotional Intelligence Impulse Control.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights. Special thanks to the community and chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tom Rhodes, and Tracy Shroyer. and this week’s co-hosts Ed & Chris Hennessy.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Twitter Chat (#peopleskills) this Sunday April 6, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to explore People Skills: Emotional Intelligence Impulse Control.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. April 6, 2014, 10am EDT in people skills global Twitter chat to explore People Skills: Emotional Intelligence Impulse Control


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Business People Skills: Can You See Your Ins & Outs? Others Can!


Business People Skills: Image is multi-color sign words are connection openness.

Business People Skills: Welcome In or Stay Out? Image by PSD via Flickr.

Grateful for image by PSD via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Business People Skills: People Can See If You Are Letting Them In

Many actions tell people if you truly want to connect with them or keep them at a distance. It matters in leadership and teamwork. It very much matters with customers. What signals are you sending? “Yes, let’s work together?” or “I’m not so interested.”


Have any of the following behaviors hurt your business people skills? They are easy to check and to keep in check. The effort is well worth it. Success comes with others — not alone.



  1. Mentioned in 2 minute video above.
  2. Mentioned in video above.
  3. Mentioned in video above.

  4. The need to be right. When people must have last word on everything, they come across as insecure, even arrogant. They are also sending the message — stay out! Closed-minded portrays as closed off. How do your business people skills portray you?

  5. Too much talking or too much silence. When people talk and talk and talk, it paints them as self-absorbed. It also communicates “stay out”. Too much silence can paint the same picture and send the same message. Many mistakenly believe that silence shows incredible interest and welcomes others in. Yet, silence isn’t always golden. It can also seem like disinterest. Seek balance. Engage in dialogue.

  6. Lots of absolutes and generalizations. Absolutes are rarely true. They often discourage discussion and connection. Generalizations about people also shut out connection and learning. Treat each person as the unique individual they are. Learn about them. It says “Let’s engage.” That portrays great business people skills.

  7. Being distracted & multitasking. When people don’t give their full attention, the message is partially — stay out. No matter how great the claim about their ability to multitask, the message they are sending is far from welcome. If you give partial attention, you are communicating a “stay out” message. Apologize for being distracted and refocus. That says “I welcome you in.”

  8. Immediately redirecting people to written material. I’ve seen this frequently in online networking. I receive a LinkedIn invitation to join someone’s network. I initially look at the person’s profile to learn more about them. If I accept the invitation, I send a thank you message highlighting something from their profile and asking them some questions to learn more. More than once, I got this reply: “The best way to learn more about me is to go to my website.”

    Really? Instead of interacting and learning about each other? The business people skills message was: “I don’t want to interact.” Then why invite people to join your network? Do you want to welcome people in or keep them out? Engage in discussion to network and uncover new business opportunities!



When a situation calls for extreme caution, it’s wise to be slow to trust. Yet closed off with no trust can’t reveal whom you can trust. Business people skills can light the way and do just that!






Do your business people skills more often welcome people in or keep them out?



What tips will you add to the list from your world of connections?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Avoid These 8 Common Causes of Business People Skills Mistakes
Career Success: Are You Rockin’ w/ These 13 People Skills
12 Signs You Have to Be Right! on Alli Polin’s Break The Frame blog.

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Courtesy Checklist: 10 Superior Ways to Lead, Serve, & Collaborate

Courtesy Checklist: Image is Jar of Honey w/ a honey twister.

Courtesy Checklist: Superior Ways to Lead, Serve, Collaborate. Image licensed from Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com

Courtesy Checklist: Do you do these every day?


  1. Greet politely and/or warmly. Welcome new teammates on their first day and you set teamwork in motion. Greet potential and current customers with courtesy and enthusiasm. You give them a picture of many positive experiences ahead. Engage employees at the beginning of a meeting. You overcome the typical meeting apathy.

  2. Start a request with please. It was everywhere in decades past. Has it slipped away? Grab hold of it and put it back in every request. This one small word communicates respect that prevents requests from being misconstrued as disguised orders. In leadership, teamwork, and customer service, this one is an essential on your courtesy checklist!

  3. Give sincere and abundant thank yous. The gift of gratitude is free yet far from cheap. People hold gratitude in high regard. It is quite dear. Leaders’ appreciation goes far beyond the instance of thanks. It creates a culture of gratitude that sustains customer relationships and employee morale. Leaders, help get this one on everyone’s courtesy checklist!

  4. Interact with an open mind. Many don’t think of open-mindedness as a part of courtesy. It is! Any behavior that considers others and eases interaction is courtesy. When working with customers, teammates, or employees very different from you, your open mind welcomes them in. Solutions and success come from openness!

  5. Eliminate common rudeness. There are habits that most people consider rude: talking too loud, slurping drinks, smacking lips when eating, clinking utensils, eating while you’re on the phone, going through a door and not holding it behind you for the next person, and the list goes on. Beyond these habits, learn cultural norms when working with people around the globe. It is the essence of courtesy in global business.

  6. Adapt to personality types. Most people think of the driver personality type when they read this on the courtesy checklist. Yet it is applies to all types. Amiables, analytics, and expressives, can be just as extreme in their behavior as the driver type. Extreme behavior tips toward discourteous. Seek balance. Consider others’ needs and flex. You can’t change your type yet you can adapt your behavior. This is courtesy!

  7. Show interest but don’t pry. Showing interest in customers is a courtesy that warms the relationship. Prying into their lives with intrusive questions will slam the door shut. Asking teammates about their weekend can start the week off well. Grilling them with personal questions builds walls that stop success. An important distinction on the courtesy checklist.

  8. Share information. Don’t gossip. Every time a customer service rep tells a customer how much trouble another customer was, it mars the professional image. Even if the customer you are telling agrees with you, they wonder what you will say about them to someone else. This is a perilous detour from positive customer relationships. Stay on the road of courtesy and professional behavior.

  9. Smile don’t sneer, snicker, or smirk. Non-verbal communication is on the courtesy checklist. Derisive gestures and looks, demean others. In their mildest form they are rude. In their extreme form, they can constitute bullying. Treating people badly — discourtesy — pushes people away. Simple, respectful behavior keeps everyone engaged. Once again courtesy is always a winner in business.

  10. Guard generalizations. Generalizations about people will almost always disrespect someone. One day, I heard an employee state that people who work in government are lazy. He didn’t consider that his co-workers had friends and family who worked in the public sector. Besides painting himself in a bad light, his discourteous remark marred work relationships and teamwork. Honor individuality and diversity. That’s on the courtesy checklist!

 
Courtesy never goes out of fashion. It feels great to receive it. In business, it’s not just a nicety. It’s a necessity for leadership, teamwork, sales, and customer service.

Far more than a pleasantry, courtesy opens doors, impresses in first meetings, shows respect, expresses care, smooths rough moments, defuses tension, bridges gaps, and feeds business relationships.


Courtesy — considering others’ needs and easing the way — gives you superior ways to succeed.


What other items are on your courtesy checklist?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
GPS Your Brain to Work w/ Any Personality Type
Avoid 8 Common Causes of People Skills Mistakes
The 25 Worst Customer Service Stories to Train the Best CSRs

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Interview Tips for Leadership Jobs: Reveal and Relieve!

Collaborative types going for leadership job interviews often stumble in their comfort zone. I’ve seen great collaborative leaders who deserve to move up lose out because they never said “I” in the interview. Only “we”.


They believe that using “I” is arrogant and boastful. I’ve had coaching clients tell me “Kate, I’m just not the type to focus on myself. Nothing is ever achieved completely alone. It’s always a team effort.” Sure.


Yet here’s one of many important interview tips. That’s not the only thing the interviewers need to know!

Why do interviewers need to hear the word “I” from leadership job candidates?


Interview Tips: Image is blank humanoid figure shrugging.

Interview Tips for Leadership Jobs: I vs We? Image via Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com

Because they need you to reduce their risk of picking the wrong person as leader.



Interview Tips: Reveal Who You Are & Relieve Their Fears

You are a blank canvas. A paper resume doesn’t reveal who you are. If it did nobody would hold interviews. Even if you are interviewing for a leadership position in your current company, they don’t know how you will be in the new role.

Interviewers want to know …

  • As a leader, will you be accountable?

    Organizations still equate accountability with one person. If you talk only about “we” and never “I”, you leave them wondering about your accountability. Interview Tips: Don’t leave them in the dark. Give them the gift of getting to know you.


  • Are you strong enough to handle tough moments?

    There is much evidence that collaborative leaders ignite the organization’s strength. Yet the definition of leader also includes individual strength. If you only use the word “we”, what are you telling the interviewers? That you are only strong with a team?

    Interview tips: Don’t view the word “I” as self-promotional. See it as collaborating toward the interviewers’ goal — getting to know you!


  • Do you just want to be liked?

    Even in evolved companies, leadership is about far more than just being liked. When you use only the word we and never I, interviewers wonder are you too nice to lead? Will you care about the organization’s success or just your own need to be liked?

    Interview tips: If the interviewers are more confused about you at the end of the interview than before it, you won’t get the job. This is the time to focus on interviewers’ needs not yours. Step out of your comfort zone. Reveal who you are!


  • Do you know the difference between selfless and faceless?

    You believe that using the term we instead of I shows that you are a selfless giver and collaborative leader. It does to people who know you. To those who don’t know you, it can say you believe collaboration must be faceless.

    Will you impose that standard on employees who want appreciation and recognition of their individual efforts? Younger generations are inspired to teamwork through recognition of their individual talents. Will you see them as selfish or talented?

    Interview tips: Come out of the shadows. Selfless is not faceless. Show interviewers your true face and all your facets. They need to hear how you will balance being directive with engaging employees and spurring collaboration. The leadership position requires all of it. Show them you can be out front, in back, or amidst the team depending on the need. Let them see the “I” and the “we”.


Interview Tips Summary

    Picture yourself as the interviewer trying to select the best person for this leadership position. You don’t know you. Now, what do you need to know about you? Would your purely “we” focus convince you if you were the interviewer?

    Confusion is not a success strategy. Don’t create it. Clear it up.

    Self-confidence is not arrogance. It is the gift you give to those who must decide on the right leader. Be generous. Show both your confidence and competence.





Speaking about yourself in an interview is one of your obligations.

Else, why are you there?


Reveal your strengths to relieve their fears!





Question: What is the biggest lesson you ever learned from an interview?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Career Success: Rock It w/These 13 Key People Skills Tips
Employee Engagement: 4 No Cost Steps to Acknowledgement
Capture the Magic of the “I’s” in Team
5 Psychologically Uncomfortable Career Shaping Opportunities

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Conflict Resolution: You Can Stay Calm in Conflict.


As The People Skills Coach™, I am often asked for conflict resolution tips. Most especially — how to stay calm in the midst of verbal conflict.


Although taking a break can be very helpful, sometimes after the break the calm evaporates and the conflict remains. Then what?


There are also times at work when you can’t take a break. Customer service agents, sales account reps, team members working to solve a crisis are often under fixed time demands. How can they stay calm and work toward conflict resolution?

 

Conflict Resolution: Image is the word Rejuvenate.

Conflict Resolution: How to Stay Calm? Image by SweetDreamzDesign via Flickr.

Image by SweetDreamzDesign via Flickr Creative Commons License.

 

Staying Calm for Conflict Resolution

If you find yourself getting anxious in the midst of verbal conflict, these 3 steps will help you.

  1. Hear the fear and need vs. the anger and biting accusation. Behind other people’s anger and accusations, there is always a fear and/or need. Let your mind focus on finding the real issue. Hear other people’s fear to get out of fight/flight mode and into conflict resolution.
  2. When I first hear other people’s anger, I quietly ask myself …

    • Where is their fear or pain? How can I resolve this?
    • Is it that they’ve lost trust?
    • Do they believe worse things are going to follow?
    • Are they under pressure to please someone else?


  3. Know and believe your excellence is in the resolution. Other people’s anger tells your ego you are inferior. You tense up to defend it. The fact is you are not inferior. In truth, your excellence is in your ability to work it out!

  4. Learn more about your natural conflict resolution style. Self-awareness develops the mind’s ability to filter emotion. Knowing your conflict resolution style highlights the triggers you need to manage in order to stay calm. Take the Thomas-Killman Conflict Mode Instrument to learn your style.



Success soars when you can hear the fear and need behind people’s anger, outbursts, and accusations. You will solve the problems and defuse the emotion.

Your potential to turn obstacles into fixes will show everyone that your infinite career potential. You can care for customers. You can collaborate with colleagues. You can break logjams on difficult projects. You can lead others through difficult moments.


No matter how much you fear verbal conflict, you can develop the ability to stay calm. My skills have grown with practice, time, and commitment.


(Of course if you feel the person is going to physically attack, get out. It’s the wise thing to do. I speak in this post about non-physical conflict.)


What growth and success have you had in staying calm? Will you share your story here?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


What’s next? I invite you to connect with me on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. I am happy to answer your people skills questions for great customer service, employee engagement, teamwork and leading change!

 

Other Posts to Help You:
13 People Skills Tips to Rock w/ Career Success
5 Thoughts to Keep You Calm w/ Angry Customers

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

Cooperation: Why Do We Make It Needlessly Tough?

As The People Skills Coach™, I hear many leaders ask, “Why can’t everyone just get along?”

In these cases, the leaders aren’t referring to substantive differences of opinion. They are frustrated by people’s unwillingness to work through differences. It begs the question:


Why do people make cooperation so tough?


Well I have written much about the challenges of personality type, cultural, and generational differences.  Yet, none of these differences actually stop people from working through differences. So what blocks cooperation? 



Seeing it as surrender … giving in.


Cooperation: This image is paper man with hands up.

Do You See Cooperation As Surrender? Image via Istock.com.



Instead of joining in …

Cooperation: This image is paper cutouts with hands joined.

Cooperation: Is Not Surrender. Image via Istock.com.

Both images licensed from Istock.com

 

Cooperation: Joining In or Giving In?

For people who see life as a competition, cooperation seems like surrender. It is giving in not joining in.

In their mind there is winning and losing. There is conquer or be conquered. These all feel like failure and quite possibly, humiliation.

If you want people to work together, show them that there are more than two choices. There is …

  1. Exploring options and discovering common ground
  2. Mutual success through collaboration
  3. Listening to show respect and communicating to move forward
  4. Honor and dignity in the give and take of ideas



“We must reprogram ourselves to understand that cooperation is a higher principle than competition.”  ~Bryant McGill


For as long as people see cooperation as surrender and loss, they will stick to their guns. They will quibble over the littlest details as they resist being conquered. It is a struggle to feel good.


Redefine cooperation as a worthy honorable pursuit. The psyche wants to live with honor not in humiliating defeat. Give yourself and those you lead chances to experience positive cooperation in fun moments and everyday ways.


When we stop trying to be THE winner, we can truly win.

What cooperative moments have changed your view and transformed your life?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Harmony: What Does It Take to Truly Hear Each Other?
Teamwork People Skills: Are You Making It Hard?
Cooperation: Keys to Initiating Not Dominating

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

Harmony: What Does It Take to Really Hear Each Other?

Harmony: Image is balanced rocks.

Harmony: What Does It Take to Really Listen? Image licensed from Istock.com

Image licenced from Istock.com

 

In business, in life, and in world affairs, we seek the power of true harmony — without surrender.  How do we achieve this? Through great listening.  The question is:

 

What does it take to really hear each other?

 

I posed this question on social media to connections around the world and received these answers!


    To me listening takes having the willingness and ability to understand what is being said. ~@TomJ_Rhodes
    Great listeners give their undivided attention instead of being just physically present. They listen for facts as well as ideas. ~@FSonnenberg
    When we are listening to someone, we need to be honest both with ourselves and with them. If there is something we don’t understand, we need to get it clarified. ~@RoyAtkinson
    To truly hear someone, you should be able to reiterate what you’ve heard and understood, back to to the person you are having a conversation with. To be able to emphatically connect with their needs and respond accordingly. ~@gdiver62





    Pay more attention to what’s being told instead of waiting for the other person to stop talking and you thinking what you’re gonna say next. ~Rene Ferret
    Don’t fill the spaces with empty words. It is in silence I hear the most, for it is then I listen with my heart. ~@Cybuhr
    It’s hard to grasp what they are saying if focused on your own speaking and it’s much more powerful to be interested than interesting. ~@jolewitz
    Don’t listen to hear; listen to understand. ~@mooreconsortium





    Open your mind as well as your ears by discarding comebacks, prejudices, and preconceptions. ~@stratlearner
    Prevent the temptation of concluding what the speaker wants to say before finishing his or her words. ~@Khalid_Tweet





    While I agree with all the having an open mind etc… I also believe that the burden of listening falls on the communicator. Meaning, the person talking has to have the ability to frame information in a way that the listener can hear it. Conversations, especially difficult ones, go much smoother when the talker frames information in a way that the other person can hear it. ~@SabrinaLBaker





    For me listening is loving the “other” and forgetting about the “self” for that little moment. ~@MaaHoda
    Truly hearing each other requires a willingness to travel to the intersection of curiosity, respect, and transcending yourself. ~@TheHRGoddess
    In order to truly hear and take in another, there needs to be space inside. Practice getting to know, setting aside and emptying out your personal chatter and agenda. ~@BlairGlaser
    I can’t listen till I clear the clutter in my mind be it with what took place till then or planning or thinking about what is going on next. ~@rlalita
    What it takes to truly listen is to stop listening to yourself! It allows us to hear when words and emotions are in discord and ask questions to get to the heart of the matter. When both people listen on that other-focused level, it creates the space for bridges to be built where before there were only walls. ~@AlliPolin







    Being able to put yourself aside, all your own worries, thoughts, things you also would like to share with the person speaking to you — to be open enough to allow the words, feelings and thoughts of someone else to come into you. ~@AlaskaChickBlog


Harmony: Finding It Within

As I read through the answers and saw the pattern of willingness, openness, de-cluttering, and loving the other, I once again pondered — how? What stops people from listening to achieve harmony? Worries and fears of what?

  • Losing. When people see every situation as having only two options — winning/losing — it stops listening and chances for harmony. Believe in win/win!
  • Shortage. A close kin to fearing loss, is the myth that there is a shortage and one must compete for limited possibilities. It blocks the belief that harmony is success for everyone. It blocks great listening.
  • Weakness. There are people who believe any show of openness will be seen as weakness and invite abuse. Harmony is cast with this same shadow. Yet, the truth is that openness breeds understanding and respect. Influence follows!
  • Conflict. People often stay closed because they confuse disagreement with conflict. Ironic isn’t it? You can’t achieve harmony if you fear disharmony! However, communication can turn disagreement into understanding and reduce the chance of conflict.


Harmony: Surmounting Fears and Walls

Creating space for harmony does not mean being naive to those who would selfishly take without giving. So open up and listen vibrantly. You will spot inauthentic one-sided demands and request more openness for harmony. You can also suspend communication if, in the end, others do not want harmony without your surrender.

Strengthened with this self-confidence, open the gates to harmony.
 

    Remind yourself of those times in your own life when you have felt that you were genuinely heard. Many say that such an experience leaves them feeling respected and recognized as a person. That can’t be guaranteed but does seem to reflect that listening has a deep interest in who is being heard and respect for that person’s feelings and perspectives, not just in the content of what is being said. ~@DanOestreich


    Try “I hear you”. It may be a bigger gift than even “I love you”. See which works better for you. ~@AJManik




What ONE step toward harmony will you take in the year ahead?
.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Replace 5 Emotionally Triggered Statements
People Skills: Bursting Every Assumption
12 Essential Thoughts to Proficient People Skills

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

Leader Engagement: How to Engage Your Leader!


Consultants like myself write a great deal about how leaders can better engage employees. Most leaders know it’s critical to tapping the talent that they have hired.

As I read William Powell’s wonderful post on Leadership Adviser blog Employee Engagement is a Result of Leader Engagement, I also thought about the other side of this equation.


How can you better engage your leader?


Complement and complete your boss.


After all, success is a cooperative effort!


No one can do it all alone.









3 Essentials for Leader Engagement

To engage your leader, you need three very important things:

  1. Desire. It is the single greatest determinant of success. Do you want to engage and help your boss? Or do you believe that it’s your boss’s job to engage and help you?
  2. Emotional Intelligence. Understanding what someone else needs is the mechanism to successful engagement.
  3. Initiative and Self-Regulation. Knowing when to initiate, when to mediate, and when to wait prevents your enthusiasm from running over your boss.


The Confusion That Blocks Leader Engagement

  • Confusing leader engagement with schmoozing (or worse). Leader engagement is not about complimenting your boss. It’s about complementing — completing — your boss.

    What are you good at that your boss isn’t? What do you like doing that your boss doesn’t like to do? This is where leader engagement comes to life and contributes the most to the organization. You engage your boss with uplifting substantive contributions not shallow praise and empty compliments.


  • Believing that leader engagement is quid pro quo. You don’t engage leaders only if they promote you. Can you picture yourself saying to your boss, “I can take on many of the things you don’t like to do if you promote me?” That attitude is anything but promotable. Contribute your passion, talents, and strengths. The proof is in the doing. The leader’s trust and gratitude grows and so does your portfolio and opportunities.

  • Confusing contribution with imposition. Contributing your special talents to engage your leader doesn’t mean you do all your boss’s work. People who engage others well are not people pleasing doormats. They simply spot others’ needs quickly and fill the void with will and skill.


Leader Engagement: Image is puzzle piece filling in void.

Leader Engagement: Complete Your Boss. Image: Licensed from Istock.


Getting Started

  1. Inventory your attitudes. What do you think of others who don’t have your specific talents? If your attitude is negative — impatience or derision — you won’t engage well. If you believe that combining different talents is exciting and positive, you’re on your way.

  2. Inventory your leader’s attitudes. Work with those attitudes. Don’t try to change them. For example, if your boss is a driver personality type and you’re an analytic, don’t deliver slow paced presentations because it feels good to you. Offer to pour over the details in advance — something drivers don’t like to do — and then summarize and present the key points. BAM – you engage by removing the pain and delivering possible gain.

  3. Scope out all your talents. Many people have a vague sense of what they do well. To engage your leader, dig deeper inside yourself and inventory all the things you do well. Here’s a list to get you started, 25 Incredibly Valuable Talents to Share At Work. Create the list that uniquely describes you.

    Think this is a silly exercise? It isn’t! When you bring this into focus, it actually triggers your ability to spot others needs for those talents. Else it’s human nature to assume that everyone has those same abilities.



People engagement skills turn occupational skills into winning connections. Spot what others need and generously contribute. Just remember to respect them; don’t try to change them.

Build your career using your talents for your leader, your teammates, and your customers too. It’s a great feeling for you. It’s the thrill of just-in-time help for them. It’s the magic of diversity in action.


Here’s your chance to make a difference. What will you do next?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post: 5 Psychologically Uncomfortable Career Sharping Opportunities!

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

People Skills Chat on Twitter TOPIC: Do People Prefer to Work w/ Those Similar or Opposite to Them?

WHEN: Sunday Dec. 8, 2013 10AM ET. Hashtag: #peopleskills

Here’s a time converter to assist all of you around the globe in converting 10am ET to your local time.

Background on This People Skills Chat Topic

When it comes to romantic relationships, we often hear that opposites attract. Yet in non-romantic relationships — especially in work relationships — people seem to prefer those who are like them! Why?


People Skills Chat Logo

People Skills Chat on Twitter Dec. 8, 2013 TOPIC: Do Opposites Attract or Repel at Work?

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Join People Skills Chat on Twitter Sun. Dec. 8, 2013 10am ET.

If people like to work with those who are like them, it has great implications on fair hiring practices, inclusion at work, opportunities for advancement. Thus in this Sunday’s people skills chat, we will explore diverse views on whether opposites attract or repel at work.

  • Do we seek opposites in our personal life but our clones at work?
  • What if anything about human nature seeks similarity?
  • Do we handle opposite points of view differently at home and at work?
  • When do we psychologically seek differences?
  • Do people who crave change accept differences more easily?
  • What suggestions would you offer to people who are uncomfortable with differences?
  • Where does fear play a role in all this?
  • Do homogeneous teams produce better results than teams of diverse people?



These are just some questions to get us thinking before we begin the people skills chat this Sunday. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join us from around the globe this Sunday in people skills chat on Twitter — Dec. 8, 2013 10am ET — to explore People Skills: Do Opposites Attract or Repel Especially at Work?


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7.



Shout Out of Gratitude

Many thanks to all who suggest people skills chat topics, participate with their wisdom and perspective, and invite others to join this community.






Hope you will all join #PeopleSkills Twitter chat this Sunday Dec. 8, 2013 10am ET/7am PT to explore People Skills: Do Opposites Attract or Repel?

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sunday Dec. 8, 2013 10am ET in #PeopleSkills Twitter Chat — People Skills: Do Opposites Attract or Repel?.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

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