communication

Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: Risk Free Success!


Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: Image is person breaking through and emerging through a wall.

Listening Beyond Our Boundaries. Image licensed from Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com


We succeed in leadership, teamwork, employee engagement, customer service and relationships in general when we listen beyond our boundaries.

Listening beyond our boundaries solves problems and prevents problems. It turns perceived gaps into understanding. It magically draws people together to do the impossible. There is nothing to stop us.


All we need to do is get started!


Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: 2 Minute Quick Start Video















When has listening beyond your boundaries created surprising results?

How can we help others to listen beyond their boundaries?

Or must everyone do it on their own?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Listening Responsibility: Listen While We Speak!

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Listening Responsibility: Listen While We Speak!


Do you get annoyed when people try to interact with you while you are speaking to them? Do you see it as an interruption?

You may be defining listening as complete silence until you are done. If so, you may also be overlooking your listening responsibility.


Listening Responsibility: Image is olive oil pouring through funnel strainer.

Listening Responsibility: Listen for Input While You Speak!

Image courtesy of Williams-Sonoma product catalog.


Unless our purpose is to preach or make a speech, great communication requires that we listen for input while we speak. This is our listening responsibility for true connection.


What kind of input?

  • Non-verbal cues like negative facial expressions, a hand up, heads turning away, people walking away. If we overlook these and keep on talking, our message to others is one of power not care and connection.

  • Polite requests to jump in. Phrases like — excuse me or pardon me or sorry I have to go — signal a need. If we show annoyance at being interrupted, we communicate a desire to dominate and please ourselves rather than connect with others.

  • Input that keeps everyone connected. If people aren’t with us, who are we communicating with? Speaking without allowing input, disengages and disconnects.





Listening Responsibility: 5 Reasons People Interrupt Us

When we speak, people may jump in for various reasons.

  1. They are confused. People who tell me they hate interruptions believe that if people would just let them finish speaking, the confusion would disappear. However, they discount how people feel when they are confused. Waiting prolongs and intensifies the pain of confusion. To communicate and connect, allow people to jump in to clarify and eliminate their confusion.

  2. We are confused. Picture yourself speaking with a customer. They ask a question and we begin to answer it. They jump in when they realize we misunderstood their question. Our listening responsibility is to hear what we misunderstood as soon as possible. Great service comes through dialogue not monologue.

  3. They are seeing disaster that we don’t see. The purpose for speaking can create tunnel vision. As others hear what we are saying, they may jump in to prevent our feet from being stuck in our mouths. Instead of being annoyed at the interruption, consider the helpful input they offer.

  4. We don’t know how they think. Picture presenting to decision makers you don’t know. You start your presentation and they quickly jump in and ask questions. Listen to this input. They are telling you how they think and how they decide. Turn their gift into your success! Don’t resist their input as an interruption. Project your desire to serve not your need for power.

  5. Something has changed. Things can change from the moment we start to speak to the moment people jump in. Perhaps they need to leave suddenly. Maybe we’ve said something that completely changes the topic and view. While we speak, our listening responsibility is to be aware of what is changing and adapt to close the gap.






Speaking is not output. It is output in response to input that is flowing at you. Embrace this input. Connect with others by listening while you speak. Reach ‘em, don’t preach ‘em!


Your turn: When have you embraced input instead of being annoyed at it?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership: Are You Communicating w/ Honesty & Civility?
People Skills: The Secret Within Every Great Communicator
Career Success: Are You Rocking w/ These 13 People Skills?

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership: Do You See a Generation Gap or an Intersection?


Every day  I hear leaders talk about the generation gap in the workplace.  I read about it blogs.  My reaction is, it’s an intersection — not a gap!


When the leadership in an organization see and focus on the differences, they widen the gap.  When the leadership see the possibilities at the intersection of talents, the gap narrows and even disappears.



Leadership: Find the Generation Intersections!

Gaps among diverse people are temporary not permanent. Consider how many times gaps have faded into sudden connection and teamwork in everyday life …

  • Disparate groups — even mistrustful factions — who pull together in a major crisis to save lives
  • Prospects who don’t want to talk to a sales person — until the sales rep finds the common ground
  • Private venture capitalists who embrace very young entrepreneurs when high potential and profit is staring them in the face
  • Very young entrepreneurs who truly welcome older experienced investors and advisers to increase success



Everyone Has a Story
We’ve all seen grandparents captivate their grandchildren with stories of the past. My young niece, when hearing me tell funny stories about relatives she never knew, blurted out “tell more stories!” This was after a long holiday meal where she was the only child at the table. You would think she would have been bored. No! She wanted to connect/intersect with generations she never knew.

What common elements turn the generation gap into an intersection?

  1. Positive, fun, upbeat, hopeful moments
  2. Possibilities and abundance for everyone not exclusions and shortage of opportunities
  3. Mutual gain from respecting diverse talents and views
  4. Higher calling or need as in a crisis

Leadership Generations Intersection: Image is intersecting circles.

Leadership Generations Intersection Not Gap via Istock.com.




What can leadership do to create these intersections?

  1. Create positive opportunities for the generations to intersect.
  2. Highlight the abundance of success that awaits instead of the tough times and narrowing opportunities.
  3. Team build with employees’ stories. The generations intersect as they see common human needs and responses emerge and merge.






Images licensed from Istock.com

Why bother? Because …






Leaders, help the generations to intersect. The time is now. I have many team building programs to make this happen. Let’s do it!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Teamwork Posts:
Leadership: 5 Essentials to Build 21st Century Teams
Leadership People Skills: 5 Ways to Spark Team Agility

©2013-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Manage Your Boss is our people skills chat topic this Sunday.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Aug. 24, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



Manage Your Boss! Image is People skills logo

How to Manage Your Boss. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

How to Manage Your Boss

Is this something you do or did at one point in your career? Is it worth the time?

Those who manage their boss say — absolutely. Others say absolutely not because they see it as flattery and manipulation. With these different definitions and views, we will have a very interesting people skills Twitter chat (#peopleskills).

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • What meaning do you attach to the phrase ‘manage your boss’?
  • When have you found it valuable, if at all?
  • Exactly what does managing your boss entail?
  • How do flattering and managing differ?
  • How can you learn/understand what your boss expects?
  • What have you done when you disagreed with your boss?
  • How do you influence your bosses without looking like a threat to them?
  • When you manage your boss, what is the impact on your peers?
  • What can bosses do to make interaction easy and productive?
  • Are emotional intelligence & people skills essential to managing your boss? How or why not?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday Aug. 24, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills chat on how to manage your boss.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to people skills community and generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Aug. 24, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on how to manage your boss.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. Aug. 24, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Twitter Chat on how to manage your boss.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Volumes are written on key steps to leading change. When we sort through it all, one blatant truth emerges:

Leading change requires networking our inspiration!

Leading Change: Image is fish jumping from one glass to the next.

Leading Change: Network Our Inspiration

Image licensed via Istock.com.


From this we might focus on communicating the change, the reasons why, what’s in it for everyone, what it will take etc….


Are you inspired by that? Probably not. No one else will be either. Admittedly communication is critical to leading change. Yet communicating about the change is NOT the same as inspiring others to make it happen.


Networking our inspiration with those we lead includes:

  • Starting with mutual respect
  • Developing trust through the heart not just the head
  • Engaging their talents and their spirit
  • Building their change-ability to prepare for major shifts



Networking inspiration must start early — the day we become positional leaders. Not the day we need to lead change.

    Highly directive leaders who rarely engage their teams will seem fake when suddenly networking inspiration to spur a major change. It seems manipulative. People resist being changed.
    Leaders who focus mostly on being liked also struggle with leading change. They have built personal connections based on neediness and their fear is palpable. There is little for others to trust in order to overcome the comfort of the status quo.



We can effectively lead change when we have healthy connections to team members and the mission of the organization. This healthy balance of head and heart is the inspiration!





Earning Trust With Our Heads and Hearts

Long before major changes inch onto the horizon, team members are looking to see how we as leaders handle difficult situations. Some situations may be very mission related while still others will relate to team dynamics and morale.

Examples

  • Showing them our clear heads in a crisis is a start. Developing their clear heads for change through coaching and empowerment is networking our inspiration!
  • Reviewing data with them before a decision develops valuable critical thinking. Using our intuition and tapping theirs builds their change-ability!

    Change involves dealing with the unknown. Using intuition gives everyone practice in grappling with grey areas and moving ahead with less than a full picture. With this practice, we network our inspiration and develop their change-ability long before a major change is needed.

  • When we handle individual performance issues, we act appropriately. When we also address team morale issues resulting from performance issues, we celebrate the value of morale in leading change. “Work it our yourselves” is abdicating our inspirational role. “Let’s work this out and create a model for maintaining great morale”, is networking our inspiration.


We lead change with inspiration; we succeed when we network the inspiration and build change-ability throughout the organization.


Why do many leaders avoid the inspirational approach when it is so critical to leading change?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2012-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Related Posts:
Leading Change: Is the Beloved Bully Stopping You?
Leaders, Engage Employees Change-Ability Through Entrepreneurial Spirit
Leaders, Develop Your Intuition


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Being Process Driven Squeezes People Out & Away


Being Process Driven: Image is a pastry bag creating identical cookies.

Being Process Driven May Squeeze People Out Image by: Mike Bierschenk

Image by Mike Bierschenk via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Processes are filters that funnel what is acceptable and reject what isn’t. Many leaders and managers tout the benefits of being process driven. It facilitates metrics and reduces errors. It prevents chaos and increases consistency.

The Dark Side and Downside of Being Process Driven

But being process driven often makes process more important than people. It blocks engagement and the input of those who are creative, results driven, or relationship focused — i.e. not process driven.

This downside may be the downfall of your employee engagement efforts, customer satisfaction, and your business growth.


This downside is more likely to occur when …

  • Your personality type craves order and consistency
  • The organization’s culture is hierarchical, un-empowered and highly risk averse
  • You lead from metrics
  • Proving results is more important to you than engaging and improving



Prevent this downside from becoming your downfall!





  • Build emotionally intelligent processes. Being process driven can honor people’s input and diverse perspectives.
  • Moderate your need for control. Processes aren’t rigid; some people are. They rigidly enforce processes. Ease up on your need for control and you won’t squeeze others out.
  • Make process a flow rather than a constrictive funnel. As rivers flow they make twists and turns and the water still reaches the mouth.
  • Remember, that proving results need not stop change, growth, and improvement.



Being process driven can be deceptively comfortable. Consistency often feels better than change.

Yet being rigidly process driven is based on the risky assumption that nothing is changing around you. New business opportunities, evolving customer expectations, available talent, and cultural differences are just some of the changes that processes often shut out. Don’t let this happen to you.


Replace the comfort of “the process is” with the intelligence of “how does the process apply here?”






Follow Nordstrom’s Rule: Use best judgment in all situations!



What else must leaders & teams do to stay agile and inclusive?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Persistence vs. Resistance to Change

Leaders, 5 Times When Logic Will Fail You

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Career Communication: Do Others Take You Seriously?


Career Communication: Image is man seriously studying a game.

Career Communication: Playing Can Be Hazardous. Image via Will Vanlue.

Image by Will Vanlue via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Career Communication: Just Playing Can Be Hazardous

Occasionally I write a short post on a word or phrase that can bring you unexpected trouble. Today I raise the flag on a trendy phrase that’s becoming popular at work and in networking.


“I’m just playing at this.”



Despite the findings about the value of play at work, using this phrase can create mistrust, worry, and even indignation.

It causes trouble in career communication when …

  • You are interacting with professionals who take their work quite seriously
  • People are looking to you for help and guidance
  • You are new to the field and others are trying to bond with you



Enjoying your work is necessary for long term success. Having a sense of humor is a valuable trait.

Yet appearing whimsical in your career communication can sidetrack your success. Too many jokes, excessive ha ha’s and the phrase, I’m just playing at this, may create distance between you and others. Create bonds not distance!




Sense the attitude and mood of others. Your career communication is not about you. It’s about you connecting with others. Let others see your social intelligence, emotional intelligence, your intuition, and your serious talents and skills. It builds trust and bonds of success.


What other phrases unknowingly create distance between people?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Replace These 5 Emotionally Triggered Statements Especially at Work
People Skills: Change ONE Unfortunate Word for Great Career Communication

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Making Aggression Unacceptable is our people skills chat topic this Sunday.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday July 27, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



Making Aggression Unacceptable: Is It Possible With People Skills?

Aggression is all around us in the world right now. Politics aside, we wonder how can we make aggression unacceptable? How can we overcome the tendency for aggression and focus on productive peace?

Joining me as co-host for this discussion on making aggression unacceptable will be Dave Moore, founder of the The Moore Consortium. Dave hails from UK and reaches around the globe with his human potential transformation workshops (#HPTTransformation).


Making Aggression Unacceptable. Image is People skills logo

Making Aggression Unacceptable. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Making Aggression Unacceptable: Is It Desirable & Possible?

Dave Moore and I had several discussions as we wondered if the topic was viable and desirable for a people skills chat.

Although it took us longer than usual to formulate it, we never swayed from the importance of the topic of making aggression unacceptable. So we turn this Sunday to all the people skills chat participants to add their voice and dig deeper into this vision.

We can explore, from many aspects, making aggression unacceptable. We invite you to lend your perspective without politics to this topic that touches all of humanity. Some questions to get us thinking in advance of Sunday’s #Peopleskills Twitter chat:

  • What is your definition of aggression? Violence?
  • How does it differ from a competitive spirit?
  • Do you see life as individual existence or connectedness? Competition or collaboration?
  • How does that affect views about aggression, if at all?
  • Why do you think aggression is so common in the world today?
  • If trust doesn’t exist, is aggression inevitable?
  • What does harmony represent to you: Success, happiness, or sacrifice/loss?
  • How can we as humans bring a powerful voice of peace to everyday life?
  • Destruction/violence: What can we do in the face of it?
  • How can we make people skills the preferred choice over aggression?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday July 27, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills chat about making aggression unacceptable.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to this week’s co-host Dave Moore and the people skills community. Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday July 27, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on making aggression unacceptable. This will not be about politics. Our focus is about humanity and peace.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. July 27, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Twitter Chat about making aggression unacceptable.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Making Great First Impressions is our people skills chat topic this Sunday.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday July 13, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



Making Great First Impressions: What Does It Truly Take?

The old saying: “You never get a second chance to make a good first impression” has stood the test of time. Although it’s origin remains in question being attributed to such diverse people as Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, and Will rogers, the message lives on. Let’s probe what making great first impressions really takes?

Joining me as co-host for this discussion in our global #Peopleskills Twitter chat will be Dave Moore, founder of the The Moore Consortium. Dave hails from UK and reaches around the globe with his human potential transformation workshops (#HPTTransformation) for business and sales success.


Making Great First Impressions: Image is People skills logo

Making Great First Impressions. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Making Great First Impressions At Work and In Life!

Dave Moore suggested this people skills chat topic of making great first impressions because image can build or break down barriers. Yet, this topic is often overlooked as people prepare for their careers or start their businesses.

As Dave puts it, “Being seen as someone who is confident, calm, friendly, and approachable is the key to building, rather than burning, bridges. It is about energy, how you say what you need to say, how you treat people, how you speak to people and how you behave.”

This is a great people skills chat topic with so much to probe and ponder. Some questions to get us thinking in advance of Sunday’s #Peopleskills Twitter chat:

  • How do you see yourself? What first impression do you make? Do others agree?
  • What memories do you create when meeting others for the first time?
  • How can we project confidence without arrogance?
  • Making great first impressions: Is it a partnership or individual responsibility?
  • How can we overcome assumptions and stereotypes in making great first impressions?
  • When/how do goals and beliefs impact making great first impressions?
  • How do we ensure that the lasting impression is worth lasting?
  • How do we show we are worthy of other people’s trust and build trust that will last?
  • How do we get a connection that will remain for a long time?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday July 13, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills chat about making great first impressions.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to this week’s co-host Dave Moore and the people skills community. Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday July 13, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on making great first impressions.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. July 13, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Twitter Chat about making great first impressions.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

The word leader used to mean strong, directive, and unemotional. That picture has shifted to less directive and more in touch with employees’ needs.


Yet where is the balance between results-focused and people-focused? In tough moments …

Are you too nice to lead?



Are You Too Nice to Lead, Effectively?

Image by: SeanbJack via Creative Commons License.


There are team members who want, welcome, and will only work for a nice leader — until they see that the nice leader won’t address poor performance and cannot negotiate tough issues with other teams and management.

They feel unprotected and at the mercy of slacking team members and other teams. So much for leaders being nice!

When Might You Be Too Nice to Lead?


  1. With Fear of Conflict. If you tend to avoid conflict and want people to just work things out for themselves, you may be seen as too nice to lead.

    Alternative: Get a coach to help you develop your conflict resolution skills. Great leaders move past their fear. They know when to step in and even teach others how to work together.


  2. In Times of Great Change. In everyday work, your teams think of you as a very effective leader. Then the organization announces a major change and you must lead your teams through it. The tension rises and your teams resist. In this moment of truth, do you lead them forward? If you cave in to their objections and resistance, your boss may see you as too nice to lead.

    Alternative: Have the courage to draw on the good will you have with your team. Show them you believe in them and in the change. If you don’t believe it, why should they?


  3. When You Require Emotional Support. Being humble and less directive can be good for your team as respects and taps their talent and commitment. Showing no confidence and needing constant emotional support can scare the bejeebers out of them and earn you the label of too nice or weak to lead.

    Alternative: Learn and understand the interplay between being confident and being humble. Confidence is strength for your team. Humbleness opens the door to growth. Both are valuable leadership traits. Lack of confidence isn’t.


  4. If You Must Be Liked. Needing to be liked can steer you to many poor leadership behaviors. It can drive you to sacrifice results for the virtual hug. This can earn you the label of too nice to lead.

    Alternative: Be like-able without seeking to be liked.


  5. When You Get Promoted. Picture yourself leading your former peers and even being a peer of your former boss. Guilt or feelings of unworthiness can make you seem timid or too solicitous. This can earn you the label of too nice to lead.

    Alternative: Your boss or another leader put their faith in you. You were promoted for a reason. The team you lead needs your courage and talent. Even if some team members grouse in jealousy, the team’s success depends on your willingness to do the job. Embrace the responsibility you were given; don’t trigger the decision maker’s doubt and regret. Believe in yourself, the purpose, and the team. Lead.


  6. If You Own Their Behavior. When you mistakenly believe that you are responsible for a team member’s behavior, you are at risk of giving an errant employee too many chances. You may take their behavior as your failure. If you are coaching one of your team members and they are not making progress, would you be able to tell them they are no longer on the team? If not, you may earn the label of too nice to lead.

    Alternative: Afford your team members the adult responsibility of owning their own behavior. Coach, teach, guide, and lead them. But let them own their own behavior!


  7. When Your Career is Paramount. When you care about your career growth more than the current position, you may inappropriately say yes to other teams or management requests. You are busy pleasing everyone else and your current team’s success may suffer. If you are lucky, this may earn you the label of too nice to lead. If you are not lucky, it may earn you a different label that isn’t fit for print. Either way, it’s not what a great leader does.

    Alternative: Let current successes, appropriate interactions, and great negotiation pave your career path.




As the definition of leadership has shifted from rough directive behavior to engaging employees, some leaders veer off course and focus only on happiness.


Rediscover the balance and you foster success for all!













You can be liked and fail as a leader; you can be disliked and fail as a leader.

Seek and practice balance and you will succeed!


From professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2011-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Related Posts:
Leadership: Can You Be Friends With Those You Lead? Yes If …
6 Steps to Lead With Honesty & Civility
10 Ways to Ignite Greatness Without Leaving Scars


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Customer Effort: Does Your Invoice Ruin the Customer Experience?


If your gut reaction to this question is, of course, pause for a moment. I’m not speaking about customers wishing your product/service was free or less expensive. This story is about an alarming trend of companies sending out confusing bills.


Customer Effort: Image is a confusing list of numbers.

Customer Effort: Paying the Bill Should Be Easy Not Confusing! Image by Eliazar Parra Cardenas via Flickr.

Image by Eliazar Parra Cardenas via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Customer Effort: Punctuate a Great Experience With an Easy Bill

The Story
I damaged a tire on my brand new car. It was a side puncture so the tire did not go flat. Yet I suspected I would need a new tire.

I called a place I had bought tires before. Mike was very nice. He asked me what type of tire and asked me to come in and he would look at it. When I arrived Mike wasn’t there yet Dave knew about it and told me they ordered my type of tire just in case I needed it — which I did.

This was a great customer experience. They were proactive and helpful. They even said they could do it in time for me to leave for my next appointment and they did it. THEN suddenly the experience soured. I looked at the bill. There were multiple columns of numbers and fees for extra services I had turned down. I said to Dave, “Why is this so complicated? I have bachelor’s degree in Mathematics and I can’t even understand this bill.”



Dave tried to explain the bill yet you could see he was struggling to make it clear. I expected three numbers in a straight column — the cost of the tire, labor and service charges, and sales tax — that would add up to the total.


Customer Effort: Other Difficult Examples

  • Telephone bills with unrecognizable taxes strewn over multiple pages. How much customer effort does it take to understand a telephone bill?
  • Hotel bills that display as double entry accounting — how many customers understand double entry accounting? Extra customer effort to understand a hotel bill leaves a bad lasting memory.
  • Banking statements with transactions in the order of when they cleared — most people write their check ledger in check#/date order. Why do banks ask customers to extend this extra customer effort just to balance their checkbooks? Make it easy!



Confusing bills are such an unnecessary ding against a wonderful customer experience. Don’t mar the great customer service experience you give with a confusing invoice. Raising doubt and mistrust at the moment you’re asking for money is risky and foolish!


Customer Effort Tip



Invoice — should be “in” the customer’s “voice”, — not yours!



You’ll get paid more easily with fewer questions.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Business Leadership: Who Are Your Customers’ Advocates? You?
Create a Generous Customer Experience Vibe – It’s Irresistible!

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership and Friendship: Is it possible?

WHEN/WHERE: Join us and share your view Sunday June 29, 2014 in Twitter chat at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



Leadership and Friendship: Possible? Tricky? Easy?

Leadership and friendship has been labelled a touchy subject for a long time. Some claim it shouldn’t be a goal. Others say it is ill-advised. Still others say it is the key to employee engagement and deep commitment.

We take on this highly charged topic in our upcoming global Twitter #Peopleskills chat June 29th 10am EDT.


Leadership and Friendship: Image is People skills logo

Leadership and Friendship. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Leadership and Friendship: Would you like it?

I recently wrote a blog post on the leadership and friendship quandary and the comments were quite diverse. I even received private emails about the risks and public remarks about the benefits. From that I realized it would be a very interesting and valuable topic for our people skills community!

I am so looking forward to hearing your views. Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • How do you define friendship?
  • How do you define the essentials of leadership?
  • Where is the overlap between leadership and friendship?
  • Why is there such concern and even distress about combining leadership and friendship?
  • Would you want to be friends with your leader? Why/why not?
  • What could leaders and teams achieve or lose if they were friends? Pls. explain.
  • What are some of the specific difficulties of combining leadership and friendship?
  • When you get promoted to lead your former teammates, can you be friends too? Why/why not?
  • How do culture and generational differences play into this issue if at all?
  • How would people skills help/hinder leadership and friendship?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday June 29, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills chat on leadership and friendship.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to the community chat moderators who generously donate their time week after week: Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday June 29, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on leadership and friendship.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. June 29, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Twitter Chat to explore leadership and friendship.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Many leaders assert that passion is essential to leadership success. If they aren’t passionate, how will employees be inspired to the vision?


As I work with leaders, I pose a key question about that passion.



As you inspire teams with the fire of your passion, do you scar them or ignite their greatness?
 


Let Your Passion Ignite Greatness Without Leaving Scars. Image by: fsamuels via Flickr Creative Commons License.



Passion that burns others undermines the goal.

Passion that ignites others fuels success.

 

Leadership: 10 Ways to Ignite Greatness Without Leaving Scars


  1. Keep your mind open. Leaders, when your mind is open to different ways of reaching the end goal, your passion ignites team ideas and greatness. If you close your mind, you scar team spirit and douse passion.

  2. Establish the limits of freedom. That might seem like an oxymoron yet it is true. If there are boundaries, state them and then let innovation, creativity, and great talent surface and develop. If you pretend there are no boundaries and inflict them later, you scar team rhythm and trust. When boundaries legitimately change, communicate them clearly.

  3. Become a geyser of goodwill. The more times you genuinely communicate the positives, the more trust and goodwill you build with the team. This goodwill builds team strength to hear the negatives with objectivity. The sum ignites greatness.

  4. Be honest not blunt. Honesty that doesn’t insult catapults all to greatness. Bluntness leaves emotional scars that toughen future interactions. Classic wisdom says: Attack the idea not the I. I add, “Disagree without being disagreeable.”

  5. Question before feedback. Your passion for the vision or goal, will scar others if you give negative feedback before understanding their actions. You also scar your credibility and their trust in you.

  6. Refine your message to critical points. Passion has the power to confuse. It causes you to leave out critical information that can ignite the team’s greatness. Exercise: Write your message as a headline and then the bullet points to support it. Ask yourself, is it clear? Clear communication focuses the fire and ignites the team’s greatness.

  7. Show you are listening. Ever work for leaders who are so passionate that they keep blazing new trails without showing you they heard your ideas and concerns? Don’t be a leader who appears deaf. Listen. Dialogue ignites greatness.

  8. See talent in mistakes. Team greatness is harnessed through individual contributions to the same goal. Differences in talent and perspective often produce unexpected outcomes that you might see as mistakes. Can you also see the talent in unexpected outcomes?

  9. Recognize initiative and celebrate learning. One uncomfortable truth about igniting greatness is that not all team members want to be great. Some leaders and managers address this discrepancy by sacrificing greatness in the quest for team harmony. There’s a better way. If you recognize those who are showing initiative and greatness AND celebrate all who are learning, you preserve team harmony without sacrificing greatness.

  10. What is your #10?



Leaders, what else are you doing to ignite greatness without leaving scars?



From my experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2011-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

People Skills Spring Cleaning – JOIN Us to Polish ‘Em Up!

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday June 15, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



People Skills Spring Cleaning

Keeping our people skills fresh and alive keeps our relationships sparkling with energy. Whether it’s at work or at home, we maintain great interactions when we regularly clean up our attitudes and behaviors with others.



People Skills Spring Cleaning. Image is People skills logo

People Skills Spring Cleaning. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

People Skills Spring Cleaning – Refresh Your Spirit!

Let’s dust off the cob webs and chase away the dust bunnies from our people skills. As we meet new people and face new situations with existing connections, our polished up people skills impress and foster great interactions.


Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • What people skills have you recently polished up?
  • How does it help to do a people skills spring cleaning checkup on your annual goals?
  • When has a leader’s people skills spring cleaning helped you?
  • Which leadership people skills should we keep polished? Why?
  • How have people skills helped you create a clean slate?
  • What dust bunnies of old ideas about people should we sweep away from our lives?
  • How can we find the cobwebs that trap our people skills in the past?
  • What events have spurred you to clean up your people skills?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday June 15, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills spring cleaning.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to to the community and chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday June 15, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience in our first people skills spring cleaning.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. June 15, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Chat on Twitter as we do our first people skills spring cleaning.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership Quandary: Are friendship and leadership compatible?

 

Leadership Quandary: Image is circle of humans holding hands.

Leadership Quandary: Can You Be Friends w/ Those You Lead? Image licensed from Istockphoto.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com.

For years the answer to this question was no. Leadership training programs cautioned against it.

Even today, many leaders believe that it isn’t wise or even possible. I recently read this in an article on the isolation of leadership. I read another that said friends gossip about the boss so leaders and employees can’t be friends.


Yet, many leaders found in hindsight the answer to this leadership quandary had changed from no to yes. They didn’t plan friendship. They didn’t have it as a goal. They found over time they had become friends with those they lead.


Leadership Quandary: Are friendship and leadership compatible?

Yes if …

  • Leaders earn the employees’ respect through honesty and integrity not fear. When leaders lead through hierarchy and commands, friendship is not likely. Distance, fear, blame, and punishment are the vibe. Conversely if you lead through integrity, engagement, and the respect it earns you, friendship is very possible.

  • Everyone defines friendship the same way. Mature friendships go far beyond just make me feel good and have better things to do than gossip. They are based in mutual support, frank conversations, and subsisting together. They evolve. The leadership quandary over friendship fades as leaders and team members become pillars for each other.

  • Leaders see themselves as servants to the teams. Servant leadership may be the easiest example of how leadership and friendship can co-exist. Servant leaders don’t see themselves as judges. The leadership quandary never confuses them. They lead as a guide, a teacher, a resource, a voice of truth. All traits of a good friend.






Resolving the Leadership Quandary: Friendship & Leadership


  1. Let it evolve. If it’s meant to be it will happen. Don’t declare it. Don’t block it.

  2. As the opportunity arises, discuss what friendship is. What will you do when personal needs and organizational needs conflict? Will friendship be a help or a hindrance?

    There are many generations in the workplace with different views. These conversations can be valuable in building positive interactions even if they don’t produce friendships.





  3. Honor the challenges of transition. If you are the new leader, declaring you are a friend may seem fake. It doesn’t happen in a second. It grows and evolves through actions and interactions. Declaring it can also seem presumptuous, pushy, and insensitive. Team members may feel disappointed that the former leader is gone. Declaring your friendship may be its very death knell.

  4. Determine how to lead your former teammates. One of the toughest challenges of leadership and friendship comes when leading your former teammates. With very mature friendships, the transition can be quite easy. Other times, everyone struggles while adjusting to new roles. Be open. Discuss expectations. Discuss friendship. From this openness you will know how to lead well in your new role. Friendships may re-emerge through the struggle.

  5. Take steps to actively include new teammates/employees. If you have strong friendship with those you’ve been leading, new team members can often feel left out. They often imagine and fear the worst. They might wonder if there is favoritism because of the closeness they see among you.

    You needn’t stop being friends with long time employees. Reach out to new team members and help them feel a part of the team. Have lunch with them or SKYPE with them. Get to know them and give them a chance to get to know you. Respect the evolution of these relationships.


  6. Accept if employees don’t want friendship with you. Some feel uncomfortable with it. They feel more secure separating leadership and friendship.






There are many advantages to letting friendship evolve between you and those you lead. Mature bonds of friendship sustain everyone through difficult times. Friendship’s warmth sustains morale. Friendship’s eyes see and prevent disasters. Friendship feels good and makes work enjoyable.

Leadership Quandary: Image says Don't fear it. Discuss it.

Leadership Quandary: Leaders and team members as friends?





What other risks, challenges, or benefits should we consider?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership Sincerity: Are You Leading w/ Honesty & Civility?
Leadership: Breed Accountability Not Blame
5 Steps to Develop Emotional Intelligence
Leadership, Are You a Boring Tiresome Leader?

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

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