communication

Bluntness Bombs Out: Here’s Why!

As The People Skills Coach™, I often coach leaders, managers, and technical professionals on steps to move from bluntness to helpful honesty. For people who are inspired by logic to change their behavior, here are 6 smart logical reasons why bluntness bombs out.


Bluntness: Image is sign that says Logic Lane.

Bluntness Bombs Out for 6 Logical People Skills Reasons Image by:Rupert Brun

Image by Rupert Brun via Flickr Creative Commons License.


6 Logical People Skills Reasons Bluntness Bombs Out


  1. No Warm-Up. Picture your bluntness as very cold water. If you push someone into a cold swimming pool, they remember the shock. If you let them wade in, they adjust to the temperature and function well. If you want people to hear and embrace your message, don’t shock them with bluntness.

  2. Punching Dulls the Brain. Punching bags are not known for their performance. They hang and swing. If you are blunt to effect a change, those you verbally punch may swing away from you. They are not likely to understand your message or change behavior.

  3. Bluntness builds barriers. Communication is for connection. Bluntness can create a busy signal — a barrier — between communicator and listener. If someone isn’t listening, your message essentially bombs out.

  4. Bluntness undermines respect and credibility. The strength of the message is weakened by the rudeness of the approach. Who is going to respect and believe the message delivered by a blunt oaf?

  5. Bluntness breaks bonds. Most people aren’t hermits. They interact and build bonds with others to survive and thrive. Bluntness may get your words out but it bombs out by breaking important bonds. It may even create vengeful feelings and start a verbal war.

  6. Bluntness focuses on your needs and overlooks others. It screams selfishness. It lacks emotional intelligence. It’s no wonder that bluntness turns others off.



Many leaders resort to bluntness out of frustration. When diplomatic honesty doesn’t seem to be working, they swing over to bluntness. Others resort to bluntness when they lose patience with those who don’t seem to understand their message or won’t listen.

Yet when you reach the end of your rope, why cut it with bluntness? Unless you need to use bluntness to save a life or prevent death, hold on to the rope!

Take a moment and tap your intellect, logic, and people skills to find a way to communicate with honesty and respect. It’s far more effective than bluntness.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Reduce Conflict: Hear the Urgency Before the Yell
6 Key Reasons Executives Get Annoyed w/ You

©2011-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

People Skills for Trust is Sunday’s #Peopleskills Twitter Chat.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Nov. 2, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EST. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EST to your local time.



People Skills for Trust

Trust is a deep and complex subject. It is in every relationship from business to personal. For this reason, we will explore people skills for trust in this Sunday’s #peopleskills global Twitter chat at 10am EST.



People Skills for Trust. Image is People skills logo

People Skills for Trust: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

People Skills for Trust

JOIN us Sunday 10am EST in #peopleskills Twitter chat to help dig into and unravel the complexities of trust. My co-host for this topic is Andrea Sanchez. Andrea is a writer/editor with 16 years of communications experience. Her passion is leadership and emotional intelligence. She is the host of the new leadership Twitter chat #DareToBe.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • What is your definition of trust and what does it mean to you?
  • How do you know if you can trust someone?
  • Does it take courage to trust others or only to “re-trust” them?
  • How do empathy and trust relate?
  • What increases and what destroys our ability to trust?
  • How does confidence impact trust?
  • How can leaders build trust with their teams?
  • When is trust most important to you?
  • How does the propensity to trust change as we mature?
  • How do #peopleskills impact trust?

These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday Nov. 2, 10am EST in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your experience, insight, and perspective on people skills for trust.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Thank you to my co-host for this topic Andrea Sanchez. Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Nov. 2, 2014, 10am EST/7am PST to share your insights, perspective, and experience on people skills for trust.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. Nov. 2, 2014, 10am EST for people skills for trust in our #Peopleskills Global Twitter Chat.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

 

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Prevent the Negative Effects of Being Too Positive!


Is your positive attitude helping yourself and others? It often can. Yet, have you ever met someone who overlooks empathy and drives their positive attitude on others?

When extremely positive people don’t account for others’ needs, their positive outlook can backfire.  They can come across as patronizing, controlling, and oddly enough, insensitive.


Negative Effects of Being Positive image is Smiley Face Cube Glowing

Negative Effects of Being Positive Image by Kristin Resurreccion via Flickr.


Grateful to Kristin Resurreccion for the image via Flickr Creative Commons License.

5 Ways to Prevent the Negative Effects of Being Positive

I have a very positive attitude about life and deliver inspirational keynotes to lift others up. I have also met people who try to convert me to their version of optimism before seeing how positive I already am!  This turns me off to what they have to offer.


To prevent this misstep …

  1. Listen in the moment and understand others’ perspectives.  Listening builds trust through respect of others’ needs.  Sometimes people are so busy encouraging others to be positive they don’t stop and detect what others need at that moment.  Everyone is on a journey and they travel at different speeds.   Some get to a positive attitude faster than others.  Some don’t even want to go there.  

    Exception: If you are a leading an organization through change and a true resistor is slowing the pace with negativity, you will need to address that very clearly to ensure the momentum of change.


  2. Acknowledge and empathize.  Empathy doesn’t mean you agree. It means you matter, we matter this matters. Connect with empathy to build the trust needed to influence others.

  3. Coach only when asked.  In everyday life, don’t elect yourself someone else’s life coach.  Even positive words like “I would like to encourage you to …” are somewhat arrogant if the person didn’t ask for your help.   Live and enjoy your own positive attitude but don’t declare yourself Ruler of PositiveLand and issue decrees.  You may become known as a royal pain in the tail.

  4. Blend optimism with realism. It opens the door to empathy and builds credibility. It is much easier to connect and trust someone who has their feet on the ground as they reach for the stars.

  5. Disagree honestly and with respect. Become comfortable with honest respectful disagreement.  People disagree in life.  Working through disagreements often delivers great results.  Yet sometimes extremely positive people patronize during a disagreement because they seek immediate harmony.  Disagreement can be a positive if it is done respectfully.






Live positively and let others see your optimism and positive choices. Blend it with empathy and realism and you ascend to trust, respect, and the long reach of influence.


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership Optimism: Keeping It Real
When Strong Leaders Use Empathy

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

People Skills Focus on Respect in Sunday’s Twitter Chat.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday October 26, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



People Skills Focus on Respect

Respect is a human need. It has the power to inspire greatness and soothe pain. It brings humanity together with a sense of equality and acceptance. For this reason, we put our people skills focus on respect in this Sunday’s #peopleskills global Twitter chat at 10am ET.



People Skills Focus on Respect. Image is People skills logo

People Skills Focus on Respect: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

People Skills Focus on Respect

JOIN us Sunday 10am ET in #peopleskills Twitter chat for our people skills focus on respect.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • What does respect mean to you?
  • Does everyone deserve respect or is it something we each must earn? Pls. explain.
  • Must you give respect to get it? What if you don’t get it?
  • How do empathy and respect relate? Can you respect someone you don’t understand?
  • Honesty and respect: Can you give both at the same time?
  • What is the true power of respect?
  • What are the small everyday ways we can show respect to each other?
  • How do you respond to disrespect? What do you say?
  • How do great leaders build respect?
  • What influences children/teens the most to show respect or disrespect to others?
  • Respect vs courtesy — is there a difference?
  • Is respect difficult to find and maintain in social media? Pls. explain.
  • How do people skills develop and maintain respect in society?

These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday October 26, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your experience, insight, and perspective in our people skills focus on respect.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday October 26, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on people skills focus on respect.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. October 26, 2014, 10am EDT for people skills focus on respect in our #Peopleskills Global Twitter Chat.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership Calls: Are You Ready to Answer?


Leadership calls. Are you ready to lead others? Do you have the people skills to handle the tough moments?

Do you have the emotional intelligence to spot difficulties early on? Do you have the initiative and courage to step up in order to prevent difficulties from becoming major trouble?


Leadership Calls: Image is paper weight on desk w/ pens sticking out of it.

Leadership Calls: Are You Truly Ready? Image by Arlo_ via Flickr.

Grateful for image by Arlo_ via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Leadership Calls: How Will You Answer?

In the 25 years I’ve been consulting to mid-level leaders, I’ve seen an unfortunate trend. They are managing functions not leading people. Leadership calls, they get promoted, and then feel stumped on how to lead others.

The good news is, you can develop your leadership people skills. Whether new to leadership or not, when leadership calls you can be ready.






Prepare your people skills for these tough situations …

  1. Someone comes to you and says a co-worker is bullying or harassing them. What would you do? There is much evidence to show many leaders minimize the person’s claim, blame the victim, or tell the victim to work it out with the co-worker. BIG mistake. Your response comes across to the victim as abandonment and mistrust. Co-worker bullying thrives on leaders who live in denial. Leadership calls and the leaders don’t lead. They deny and blame.

    Leadership people skills approach: Don’t abandon your employees. Get closer. Talk to them. Ask non-judgmental questions! Explore and listen. In this way, you communicate that you care. You also learn important information and understand the issue. You can then decide on appropriate next steps.

  2. One employee is slacking off. No one is formally complaining to you but they complain to each other. What would you do? If you are thinking, “how would I know if an employee is slacking off,” you are not leading. Leading is pro-active emotional intelligence in action. It senses and sees what’s going on before the virus spreads.

    Leadership people skills approach: Stay connected to the pulse of the workplace. With the teams’ input, set the bar high and then call everyone to reach it with skills, attitude, and great teamwork. If some are slacking off, speak with them. Find out if it’s a skills issue or an attitude issue. If it’s a skills issue, address development or reassignment. If it’s an attitude issue, be clear and frank. Leadership calls and you must call everyone to high levels of performance. If you hide your head on this one, the quicksand will pull you all under.

  3. There’s an organizational change announced and you must lead your teams through it. Upper leadership has announced it. You and your teams aren’t thrilled about it. How do you act? If you commiserate with your teams, you enable their resistance.

    Leadership people skills approach: Embrace the change and lead them to do the same. Empathize and acknowledge their feelings but don’t commiserate and encourage mutiny. Deepen your commitment to the change and get closer to your teams to buoy them. If you don’t believe in the change, why should they?









To get closer and deeper when leadership calls, remember …

  • Being objective and fair doesn’t mean being neutral. Lead them. Don’t abandon them.
  • Leadership requires performance of your duties. Hiding and denying are a form of malpractice. Overlooking symptoms, avoiding necessary conversations, blaming instead of resolving are leadership negligence. Leadership calls. Lead with your eyes wide open.
  • Bonds are not the same thing as bondage. Bonds don’t handcuff and block success. Closer and deeper bonds build trust — the pathway to success. Leadership calls. Be more connected to your people not just the results.



Show your readiness. When leadership calls, get closer and deeper to take everyone farther!



What has been your greatest leadership challenge & how did you handle it?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
The Biggest Leadership Surprises of New Leaders
Leaders, 10 Ways to Ignite Greatness Without Leaving Scars
Exceptional Empowerment: Keep Your Expertise Involved
Leadership: 12 Essential Thoughts to Proficient People Skills

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Stop School Bullying is People Skills Twitter Chat Rally – Sunday Oct. 5th 10am ET.

Hashtag: #peopleskills

Here’s a time converter to assist all of you around the globe in converting 10am ET to your local time.

Background on People Skills Chat – Rally to Stop School Bullying

Once each quarter we dedicate our #Peopleskills global Twitter chat hour to the Stop Bullying cause. Last time, we focused on workplace bullying.

In this rally, we use our intellect, hearts, and voices to stop school bullying in its tracks. Please spread the word and invite others to join us on Twitter Sunday Oct 5th 10am ET using Hashtag: #peopleskills.


My wonderful co-host for this event is Tom Rhodes, father of four children, working to create a better social environment. Tom has written a new blog post: Stop Bullying: Choose to Make a Difference! Read and share his touching post with your schools, families, educators, and friends and of course, join us for this rally.


Stop School Bullying. Image is People skills logo

Stop School Bullying. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


People Skills Twitter Chat – Rally to Stop School Bullying

Bullying continues to plague everyday life and it is fitting that our people skills community continue its efforts to stop bullying. This time we turn our focus, hearts, and minds to stop school bullying.



Here are some questions to get us thinking in advance …

  • What is your definition of bullying?
  • Where does school bullying get its roots? What are the causes?
  • Why does this issue persist?
  • Aggressive and passive aggressive bullying: What is the effect of each?
  • What are some key ways to prevent school bullying?
  • How do you handle a situation where kids/teens are being bullied?
  • How can we get kids and teens to let others know if they are being bullied? Why do they not tell adults?
  • How can kids/teens stop school bullies? Or is it purely an adult role to do this?
  • What role do educational and societal values play in fueling or stopping school bullying?
  • How can people skills stop school bullying? What skills are most important?


Final versions of these questions will post live during the chat. If you cannot attend this Sunday at 10am ET and want to schedule some responses to these questions, please use hashtag #peopleskills so the tweets will show up in the chat room. Feel free to add other relevant hashtags as you see fit.


We have one rule in People Skills Chat: Respect even when we disagree.


So bring your caring heart, your focus, and your favorite beverage, and join us from around the globe this Sunday in people skills global Twitter chat — Oct. 5th, 2014 10am ET (Hashtag: #peopleskills) — our online rally to stop school bullying.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining our Google+ People Skills Community, our Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and our LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to contribute and learn 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Outs of Gratitude

Continued thanks to generous people skills community moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time, generosity, insight, and contributions.




Thanks to all committed community members who participate in our people skills global Twitter chats (#peopleskills) and online groups. Last, but not least, a warm welcome to newcomers who continue to join our community.






Hope you will all join People Skills global Twitter chat #peopleskills this Sunday Oct. 5th, 2014 10am ET/7am PT for our online rally to stop school bullying!







How to Participate
If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tchat.io, Tweetchat.com or Twubs.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. Oct. 5th, 2014 10am ET in People Skills global Twitter Chat (#peopleskills), for our online rally to stop school bullying.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Millennials Success: 5 Ways to Be Included Not Just Recognized!


Millennials Success: Image is Gold puzzle pieces fitting together.

Millennials Success: Be Included Not Just Recognized Image via Istock.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com


I keep reading articles about what millennials want at work. For millennials success, my advice is …





Being recognized says, “We see you.” Being included says, “We need you and we trust you.” Millennials success, just like anyone’s, depends on being needed and trusted.

Millennials Success: 5 Ways to Be Included Not Just Recognized

Being different can get you recognized yet it won’t necessarily get you included or trusted. Differences create gaps that subconsciously trigger mistrust.

Flex and adapt to others and they will recognize AND include you. As you close the gaps, mistrust fades into comfort and eventually trust.

  1. Dress with some individual expression yet not too much. How you dress tells others whether you want to connect with them. Too different says, “Look how different I am.” Somewhat similar to others says, “Yes I want to connect.” As the saying goes, when in Rome, do as the Romans.

  2. Show your endurance and forbearance. Being needed and trusted grows from your ability to endure and tolerate situations (and people) you don’t like. Everyone faces a difficult road. Show emotional intelligence and willingness to work through others’ flaws.


  3. DifficultRoadsOftenLeadtoBeautifulDestinations


  4. Bring your exuberance and curiosity. Moderate your exuberance with curiosity about others. Too much of “here’s my view” without enough “what’s your view” will get you recognized but not needed, trusted, and included. Show true interest in others and you build empathy based trust.

  5. Offer your talents and technology know-how but don’t expect immediate acceptance. Millennials success comes from offering the new while valuing the status quo. Otherwise others may see you as a narrow-minded naive know-it-all.

  6. Act empowered not entitled. Empowerment gives; entitlement takes. Whom would you trust more? Someone who walks in asking others to do for them or someone who walks in contributing? Contributors become needed and trusted.



To do these things without resentment, remember that inclusion doesn’t mean assimilation. You can be included — needed and trusted — without being completely assimilated and fading into the background.


Inclusion doesn’t mean you lose you. It’s not …



Inclusion is not assimilation. You can still be you!

Inclusion is not assimilation. You can still be you!

Image via Robin Hood from Loxley




Whether starting a career or changing jobs, most people hope to be acknowledged. It’s wonderful to be recognized at work.


Yet being recognized is not enough. Being included signals that you are needed and also trusted for respecting and accommodating others. Eccentrics, celebrities, and upstarts are recognized yet not always trusted and seen as necessary.


For millennials success at work, be included. It’s far better than just being recognized!


Your turn: What else breeds career success?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Career Communication: Too Much Playing Can Be Hazardous
The 8 Ins and Outs of Business People Skills
Courtesy Checklist: 10 Superior Ways to Lead, Serve, & Collaborate
Accountability: People Skills Secrets Revealed

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Handling Conflict is our people skills chat topic this Sunday.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Sept. 28, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



Handling Conflict: The People Skills Way

Handling conflict is a one of the most valuable people skills. It is essential for working and living together. It respects all views and and discovers win-win solutions. So we gather for this chat to explore handling conflict the people skills way.


My co-host for this chat is Michael Cortes, education & presentation coach. Michael suggested this topic and is looking forward to engaging with everyone this Sunday.


Handling Conflict. Image is People skills logo

Handling Conflict. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Handling Conflict With Great People Skills

JOIN us Sunday at 10am ET in #peopleskills Twitter chat to share your views and experience on handling conflict.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • How do you define conflict?
  • What is the difference between disagreement and conflict? Is there a difference?
  • Would you rather be around a constant peacemaker, a person who sticks to their views, or __________?
  • “Ideas and not battles mark the forward progress of mankind.” ~L. Ron Hubbard Ag/Disagree?
  • How do you feel when you sense a conflict is developing?
  • Fear of conflict – where does it come from? How can people overcome it?
  • What factors make conflict difficult to handle?
  • How do interactions turn into conflict?
  • What types of conflicts can develop when people work together and why?
  • How do people skills resolve conflict?
  • What skills do leaders need to handle conflict among team members?

These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday Sept 28, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills chat on handling conflict.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to my co-host this week Michael Cortes, and to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Sept. 28, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on handling conflict.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. Sept. 28, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Twitter Chat about handling conflict.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Reduce Conflict: 5 Places to Hear the Urgency Before the Yell

As The People Skills Coach™, I often teach others how to deal with people’s anger in the workplace and reduce conflict. Does your boss yell? Has a team member suddenly become edgy with you? Has a customer surprised you with a yell?

Reduce Conflict: Image is bee w/ magnifying glass.

Reduce Conflict: Hear the Urgency Before the Yell Image: Istock.

Image licensed from Istock.com


If you don’t like to be yelled at, develop one of the most valuable people skills to reduce conflict:

Hear the urgency before the yell!



Often when the boss, a teammate, or a customer yells, you have missed the urgency they were communicating before the yell. It’s not your fault and this is not about blame. Yet hearing the urgency before the yell can give you what you want — less conflict!

In the face of urgency and a listener who doesn’t hear it, someone may resort to a yell. I am not speaking about people who yell all the time. I am referring to people who suddenly start to yell.

Reduce Conflict: 5 Places to Hear Urgency Before the Yell!

  1. Hear urgency in repetition. When they calmly say the same thing twice, hear their urgency and acknowledge it — before the yell. If you remain silent because you are pondering what they said, the next thing you hear may be a yell. To them silence means you don’t care. Tell them you are thinking not ignoring them.


  2. Hear urgency in their lack of knowledge. Your expertise blinds you to their urgency. As they speak, your knowledge is calmly telling you that you can handle it. Speak up. Nicely reassure them that you can handle it. Communicate solutions sooner to reduce conflict and prevent the yell.

  3. Hear urgency in the painful past or impending future. Many times people’s urgency comes from previous negative experiences that caused them pain or something they are anticipating. Ask great questions while people are calm to uncover their concerns — before the yell. When you uncover the fear, you find the urgency and reduce conflict.

  4. Hear urgency in the need to be acknowledged. Urgency is not always a deadline for action. Often people’s urgency resides in their need to be heard. Tell them that you hear what they are saying. Paraphrase (not parrot) what they have said. Acknowledging people can prevent the yell and reduce conflict.

  5. Hear urgency in the bigger picture. Example: I was teaching a public class. The banquet room was to be setup by 7:30am so I could prepare before greeting the students. I walked in to see a room configured incorrectly and no flip charts.

    I calmly spoke with the hotel rep about re-configuring room and the time frame needed. Ten minutes later there was still no change. I then said, “Fix this now!”. He replied, “that’s good, you woke me up” and quickly fixed the problem. To him, my calm voice at the beginning meant it wasn’t urgent. Had he looked at the bigger picture of my need to prepare before people arrived, he would have heard the urgency in the calm — before the yell.



Bonus Tip: The more you know about people, the easier it is to reduce conflict and prevent the yell. Learn what annoys them (pet peeves), their personality types, their fears and goals, their frustrations, and how best to respond before the yell.





You can create positive, proactive, productive interactions in business.





What have surprising outbursts taught you about reducing conflict in business?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Related Posts:
6 Key Reasons Executive Leaders Get Annoyed w/ You
Reduce Conflict: Listen While You Speak

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

A World Gone Social: Interview of Authors Ted Coiné & Mark Babbitt

A World Gone Social: Image is the book cover.

A World Gone Social by Ted Coiné & Mark Babbitt




After years of research, Ted Coiné and Mark Babbitt have penned a substantive leadership book, A World Gone Social.  This book could easily be subtitled, The Accountability Age – Leadership in a World Gone Social. It digs into leadership, employee engagement, customer experience, and innovation. 

The book goes beneath meaningless numbers like total followers to the true influences and influencers in business today.  It reveals social media’s impact on leadership and management and guides leaders on how to make the shift. 

As The People Skills Coach™, I was intrigued and attracted to the book’s title, A World Gone Social.  I wondered what impact it’s truly having on businesses and employees.



I caught up with authors Ted Coiné and Mark Babbitt to learn more about what their research uncovered.

Q: Ted & Mark, as you researched A World Gone Social, what surprises did you uncover?

Mark: Since my business, YouTern, is social all the way, I was surprised that many companies are not living it. Especially at the Csuite level, many haven’t embraced it and aren’t leading from it or with it.

Ted: I was surprised that many companies don’t yet realize that social media is a tool creating a holistic change in how we think, act, and lead. It’s not just a technology trend.  It’s empowering small, little known businesses in garages to truly challenge big businesses.

Kate: Ted, I can almost hear the shark music from Jaws playing in the background as you say that!


Q: Why aren’t leaders, especially at the highest levels, leading from and with social media?

Mark & Ted: They don’t know how to measure it. What’s the ROI of using social media for x amount per day or week?  That is why we included a whole section in the book to meaningful social media metrics and how to calculate them.


Q: How is social media truly changing the work lives of the workers?

Mark & Ted: Well the standard workday is dead. For employees with managers who are emailing them very early and very late, this can lead to overwork, burnout, etc… For employees with managers who believe in flexibility as long as you deliver results, mobile and social media are transforming the workplace in a positive way.


Q: In your opinion, has social media caused more harm than good OR more good than harm?

Ted: I like that question. Best one I’ve been asked yet.  Social media is good. It connects people to a world of new possibilities. And it’s here. You don’t really get a vote. You can choose not to use it yet it affects you anyway.

Mark: It’s all in how you use it. It’s great to celebrate wins and meet that human need for connection in business and in life. However, people who use it to tell the world about their sore feet are missing the true purpose of social media.


Q: Mark & Ted, what are the key messages in your book, A World Gone Social?

  • Death of the large! Small companies are now truly empowered to tell the world about their innovative products and services. This type of communication was formerly only the territory of big players. So for large companies to not  truly embrace social media is a huge strategic mistake.
  • Metrics are still possible! You can measure social media ROI. We show you in this book the approaches to take. 
  • Ordinary is now extraordinary. An ordinary person with an extraordinary network can be hugely successful.  Whether you are a budding entrepreneur or just out of school looking for your first job, branding with social media IS the pathway to success.



Q: What do you intend and hope this book will do for everyone in the business world?

Mark: Help people realize it’s important to re-energize people in the workplace and social media is the pathway to doing it!

Ted: Being social, not just industrial or digital, makes sense because it plays to human nature and basic human needs.

Kate: So it’s not just small talk or useless chatter. It doesn’t distract from business success.  It is the pathway to success.

Mark & Ted: Yes!




Author: Ted Coiné

Chairman, Switch and Shift: Ted Coiné

CEO & Founder YouTern: Mark S. Babbitt

Author: Mark S. Babbitt





Listen to more of the interview about A World Gone Social with Ted Coiné and Mark Babbitt.







Thank you, Mark & Ted, for writing A World Gone Social.  In my opinion it’s a must read for every leader and manager wanting to move past the trend and into the truth about social media’s purpose, influence, and outcomes. Congratulations!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Additional Leadership Posts
Leadership: 5 Essentials for Building 21st Century Teams
People Skills: The Secret Within Every Great Communicator


©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Empowered Not Entitled: Communicating for Success

Team members, picture yourselves as leaders or managers. Would you want to lead and manage empowered employees or entitled ones?

The responses overwhelmingly come back, empowered not entitled. Leaders and managers agree too. The question is why?





Empowered Not Entitled: Image is 3 hands.

Communicate You Are Empowered Not Entitled. Image licensed from Istock.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com


Empowered Not Entitled: When Everyone Serves, Everyone Wins!

Empowered team members engage and contribute for maximum success. They step up; they don’t sit back. They give to everyone; they don’t wait to receive. When everyone serves, everyone wins.


Communicate You Are Empowered Not Entitled

  1. Give more than you request.
  2. Correct your mistakes and help others to mend theirs.
  3. Offer sincere apologies when you impact others badly.
  4. Focus on everyone succeeding not getting what others have.
  5. Create your rewards by contributing your talents and effort vs. demanding rewards now.



Bold Illustration
One team member emailed his manager, “I would like to work from home three days a week. How can you make this happen for me?” The language he used communicated he felt entitled. He expected others to do for him. This attitude is a dead weight against success. It burdens and weighs down leaders, managers, and teams.


The manager explained that she wasn’t his concierge. If he wanted to explore new ideas, he should first ask if it’s possible, offer what he would do to make it happen, and outline the benefits to the organization. This is how you communicate you are empowered not entitled!






If a team were comprised of all entitled team members, what would it accomplish? Conversely empowered team members engage and contribute for all to win. Are you a welcome contributor or an annoying maverick?





Empowered not entitled: Show your team & company what you can do for them!



“Never stand begging for that which you have the power to earn.” ~Miguel de Cervantes



Leaders, do your part. Reward contribution not just bold requests for promotion.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Accountability Legacy: People Skills Secrets Revealed
Teamwork: Are You a Welcome Contributor or an Annoying Maverick?
Teamwork Collaboration: Leadership Beliefs That Kill It

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

The Rewards of Courtesy is our people skills chat topic this Sunday.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Sept. 14, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



The Rewards of Courtesy

September is National Courtesy Month and in honor of it, we will explore the rewards of courtesy. So often courtesy is either taken for granted or thought of as soft and less important. So we will gather to explore courtesy and its deeper value.


The Rewards of Courtesy. Image is People skills logo

The Rewards of Courtesy. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

What Are the True Rewards of Courtesy?

From customer service, to teamwork, leadership, and global business, courtesy delivers far more than we often acknowledge. It’s more than a smile to make someone feel good.

Courtesy Awards: Image is a heart with the banner saying "courteous".

People Skills Community Courtesy Awards! Image designed by Vizwerx for People Skills Community.

When we picture business interactions without courtesy, the image and outcomes change dramatically.

JOIN us in this chat as we discuss the rewards of courtesy and its true value in work and life.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • Are courtesy and authenticity at odds? Pls. explain.
  • What can courtesy do that lack of courtesy can’t?
  • Is courtesy in the eye of the beholder? Or are there some common elements of value to all?
  • Do leaders have to choose between strength/effectiveness and courtesy?
  • When in your work or life have you been most grateful for courtesy?
  • In the age of social media, is courtesy passé? Or must we recommit to it?
  • How does courtesy affect people? Results?
  • How are courtesy and emotional intelligence related? Or are they at odds?
  • How is courtesy different around the globe?
  • In your opinion, what are the greatest rewards of courtesy?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday Sept 14, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills chat about the rewards of courtesy.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Sept. 14, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on the rewards of courtesy.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. Sept. 14, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Twitter Chat about the rewards of courtesy.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Why & When Do Executives Get Annoyed & Impatient With You?


If you feel shaky when executives seem annoyed and impatient with you, knowing why they act this way can help you prevent this.

It will reduce your fear by preventing theirs!

Whether you have frequent interactions with these top leaders or the occasional presentation to them, insight about what executives fear can help you modify your approach with them. The results are amazing.


6 Reasons Top Leaders Get Annoyed w/ You. Image is swirling vortex.

6 Reasons Executives Get Impatient & Annoyed w/ You. Image by: Onkel_Wart via Flickr.

Image courtesy of Onkel Wart via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Don’t Trigger Executive Leaders’ Fears

I often teach managers how to make effective presentations to executives. The most important thing to understand is the executive’s mindset.

Most of what executives do depends on others. They do not accomplish tasks purely with their own skill and experience. They must rely on you yet they are accountable for the success of the organization. All of this can induce their fear.

Don’t activate their fear — prevent it!

  1. Executives are pressured to perform broadly. Everyone wants some of their time. To succeed, they funnel info to hit the mark. When you blabber on with details before the main point, you scare the bejeebers out of them.

    Tip: Know your purpose and get to the point. Focus prevents organizational failure.


  2. Executives must care about the organization, not just about you. When executives feel that your need for validation and personal expression is more important to you than the business, you scare the bejeebers out of them.

    Tip: Capture their attention with the main focus first. Their comprehension goes up and their fear goes down.


  3. Executives are aware of conditions and risks that you don’t know. When they ask for one thing and you give them everything but that, they feel trapped in your lack of knowledge. You scare the bejeebers out of them.

    Tip: Give them what they want. If you cannot deliver it, tell them how close you can get with next best option.


  4. Executives need to know the ship can survive a storm. When you tell them the problem without offering a feasible solution, they feel they are steering a ship with no crew. You scare the bejeebers out of them.

    Tip: Do your job; don’t ask them to do it!


  5. Executives are there to move the organization forward. When you hesitate, waffle, freeze in a fumble instead of recover, executives see stagnation. You scare the bejeebers out of them.

    Tip: Anticipate what questions the executives will ask you and prepare how you will handle it.


  6. Executives are responsible for the overall health of the organization. When you ask for the sun and the moon when the organization is on shaky ground, executives witness mania instead of sanity. You scare the bejeebers out of them.

    Tip: Show them up front how your request/solution makes the ground firmer and the organization healthier.



As Bruce Gabrielle notes in his post 9 Tips to Nail Your Next Executive Presentation, “Don’t be afraid of executives, be afraid for them.”


Do not add to their fear. Reduce it with preparation, insight, and focused communication. Show them they can truly rely on you!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Career Success: 13 Important People Skills Tips
Professional People Skills to Show Your Change-Ability

©2011-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: Risk Free Success!


Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: Image is person breaking through and emerging through a wall.

Listening Beyond Our Boundaries. Image licensed from Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com


We succeed in leadership, teamwork, employee engagement, customer service and relationships in general when we listen beyond our boundaries.

Listening beyond our boundaries solves problems and prevents problems. It turns perceived gaps into understanding. It magically draws people together to do the impossible. There is nothing to stop us.


All we need to do is get started!


Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: 2 Minute Quick Start Video















When has listening beyond your boundaries created surprising results?

How can we help others to listen beyond their boundaries?

Or must everyone do it on their own?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Listening Responsibility: Listen While We Speak!

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Listening Responsibility: Listen While We Speak!


Do you get annoyed when people try to interact with you while you are speaking to them? Do you see it as an interruption?

You may be defining listening as complete silence until you are done. If so, you may also be overlooking your listening responsibility.


Listening Responsibility: Image is olive oil pouring through funnel strainer.

Listening Responsibility: Listen for Input While You Speak!

Image courtesy of Williams-Sonoma product catalog.


Unless our purpose is to preach or make a speech, great communication requires that we listen for input while we speak. This is our listening responsibility for true connection.


What kind of input?

  • Non-verbal cues like negative facial expressions, a hand up, heads turning away, people walking away. If we overlook these and keep on talking, our message to others is one of power not care and connection.

  • Polite requests to jump in. Phrases like — excuse me or pardon me or sorry I have to go — signal a need. If we show annoyance at being interrupted, we communicate a desire to dominate and please ourselves rather than connect with others.

  • Input that keeps everyone connected. If people aren’t with us, who are we communicating with? Speaking without allowing input, disengages and disconnects.





Listening Responsibility: 5 Reasons People Interrupt Us

When we speak, people may jump in for various reasons.

  1. They are confused. People who tell me they hate interruptions believe that if people would just let them finish speaking, the confusion would disappear. However, they discount how people feel when they are confused. Waiting prolongs and intensifies the pain of confusion. To communicate and connect, allow people to jump in to clarify and eliminate their confusion.

  2. We are confused. Picture yourself speaking with a customer. They ask a question and we begin to answer it. They jump in when they realize we misunderstood their question. Our listening responsibility is to hear what we misunderstood as soon as possible. Great service comes through dialogue not monologue.

  3. They are seeing disaster that we don’t see. The purpose for speaking can create tunnel vision. As others hear what we are saying, they may jump in to prevent our feet from being stuck in our mouths. Instead of being annoyed at the interruption, consider the helpful input they offer.

  4. We don’t know how they think. Picture presenting to decision makers you don’t know. You start your presentation and they quickly jump in and ask questions. Listen to this input. They are telling you how they think and how they decide. Turn their gift into your success! Don’t resist their input as an interruption. Project your desire to serve not your need for power.

  5. Something has changed. Things can change from the moment we start to speak to the moment people jump in. Perhaps they need to leave suddenly. Maybe we’ve said something that completely changes the topic and view. While we speak, our listening responsibility is to be aware of what is changing and adapt to close the gap.






Speaking is not output. It is output in response to input that is flowing at you. Embrace this input. Connect with others by listening while you speak. Reach ‘em, don’t preach ‘em!


Your turn: When have you embraced input instead of being annoyed at it?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership: Are You Communicating w/ Honesty & Civility?
People Skills: The Secret Within Every Great Communicator
Career Success: Are You Rocking w/ These 13 People Skills?

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

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