KateNasser.com

The best teamwork in the workplace requires great people-skills. As a team member what you say and how you say it impacts productivity and teamwork today and tomorrow and down the road. Phrases that team members see as disrespectful (regardless of your intentions) can bury teamwork and your workplace relationship.

For all team members and leaders who like practical information for the best teamwork and people-skills, here’s a checklist of four phrases to bury and never use again!

Bury These Phrases for Best Teamwork

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1. “Whatever!” The current popularity of this phrase does not lessen its sting. You are basically saying to your team member: “your thoughts don’t matter to me”. This will leave scars that damage teamwork. It you disagree with a team member, then say I disagree. If you are frustrated because they are talking endlessly, then say “we are short on time today…”. Bury the phrase whatever and don’t ever dig it up!
   
   
2. “All you’ve done is ….” The culprit here is the word all. It packs whatever you are about to say with emotion — negative emotion. A colleague of mine was speaking with a networking contact who was a driver/driver personality type. The contact said to my colleague about her work “All you’ve done is invent a job for yourself.” The networking contact’s “all you’ve’ done is …” phrase is insulting and demeaning. On a team, this phrase could leave a scar between team members that never heals. Bury this phrase all you’ve done is … deep in the ground so it doesn’t ooze up during a flood!
   
   
3. “Don’t you think …?” Most of the time, people use this phrase to pressure someone into agreement. Much better to state what you believe (“I think”) and ask the team members what they think. “Don’t you think we should or …” is a passive aggressive way of expressing disagreement and often triggers resistance and emotion. To reach an end goal, put the issues on the table for the team members to directly discuss. Bury the phrase don’t you think … and replace it with what do you think?.
   
   
4. “I’m sorry you feel I have …”. This is one of the most common and is a most offensive phrase — whether you say it in the workplace or in your personal life. Said on a team, it is deadly. The culprit here are the words you feel. If someone has told you that you have offended, hurt, insulted … them, offer a simple direct apology I am sorry. If you want to go further, use and I am sorry for the impact this has had on you. Bury your fear of apologizing along with the phrase I’m sorry you feel I have …. You will be respected for your courage and your caring.
   
   

What other phrases would you bury?

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Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, delivers transformational team building and customer relations sessions to corporations across many industries. For 20 years, her energy and experience has activated teamwork and service improvements in the toughest situations. See testimonials on this site.
BS Mathematics, Masters in Organizational Psychology.

Much is said and written about developing trust to build great teams and teamwork. Yet a twist on trust (or perhaps a twisted view of trust) destroys the best teamwork. My team building article today is short in length yet big in impact. Here’s the story, the lesson, and the call to action for leaders.

The Story

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A team leader and one of this team members were working on a project together.  The team leader is both analytic and conceptual. He has a great ability to see how things will fit together even during the early stages. As he  was communicating the various pieces of the project, his team member asked for the order of how the pieces would fit together. The team leader’s response was trust me.

The team member listened a while longer but got more and more lost.  This time he said to the the team leader: “I am lost. But if we could go over the order of how this fits together, it will bring me back on track .”  Once again, the team leader’s response was “Trust me. I am here for you. You are too nervous.”

Hiding his frustration from the team leader, the team member explained that it wasn’t a matter of trust. It was about how people learn and absorb information. Just because the team leader understood what he himself was saying didn’t mean that others understood him.

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The Lesson Questions do not automatically mean a lack of trust. It could simply mean a lack of understanding. Questions are also a sign of interest and teamwork. Do you or your team members misjudge questions as a sign of mistrust or lack of teamwork?


Call to Action! In this story it was the team leader who twisted trust as a substitute for good communication. Another time it could be a team member. Is this occurring on your teams? Do you have anyone substituting a call for trust for clear communication?
This twist on trust can destroy the best teamwork because confused people disengage. When the communicator isn’t clear and won’t clarify, other members of a team lose trust, respect, and interest in the team goals. Look around your team. Observe and listen. If this is happening, coach the trust twisters to improve their communication. The individuals, the team, and the business will benefit in the end.

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, has been doing team building and improving teamwork in companies for over 20 years. Her intuition, insight, and practical solutions to teamwork issues deliver tangible bottom line improvements to your business.

A recent post at http://resumebear.com emphasizes once again that people-skills (also known as soft skills) top employers’ lists of desired qualities. [http://resumebear.com/blog/index.php/2009/12/06/five-character-qualities/]

People-skills or soft skills also top the list of top skills that employers want and new graduates (GEN Y) lack. [http://www.resumebear.com/blog/index.php/2009/05/21/top-skills-employers-want-and-new-graduates-lack/]

As a 20 year veteran entrepreneur, I can also attest that outstanding people-skills or soft skills top the list for business success.  So whether you are a new graduate (GEN Y) or among the many people changing careers or industries, improving your people-skills (soft skills) is a winning step. What skills specifically? Verbal and written communication, listening, and teamwork.

I will be posting a series of content rich articles with tangible soft skills improvement steps.

In this post, 3 solid steps that improve communication with customers, teammates, suppliers, and definitely with leaders.

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Speak current and future not past. Our communication is often riddled with references to the past.  Don’t believe me? Spend five to ten minutes being aware of what you say.  You will be very surprised at how often you reference the past.

Now rethink what you truly want to say and reword it to be focused on the present or future.  Focusing on the present and future minimizes the risk of digging up old problems between people, gets you active on solutions, and increases your value to employers and customers. It changes your image, your relationships, and your career/business success.  Simply put: In business, don’t take people back to the past.

True story to illustrate: I found a blog article on soft skills and posted it on Twitter.  I liked the main points the author made.  One of my Twitter followers read it and thought the author’s writing skills were poor.  She sent me the following message.  “Did you read it before you posted it?”  Her focus on the past made this a very poor communication. It can cause problems in interpersonal relationships.  After I wrote back to her, she made it clear that her main point was “I don’t like the author’s writing style”.  Her original message communicated something else.

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Speak honestly and positively. Honesty is important in business.  How you deliver the honesty determines how the listener will hear and react to your message. Even during conflict, you can speak with positive tones to speed the healing after the conflict.
Simple Rules: State facts as facts and opinion as opinion. State what needs to change and what is currently good.

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Skip the sarcasm. Sarcasm can often be misunderstood. It is more a form of anger than a form of humor. Keep it for moments with a close friend who loves your sarcasm or leave it to the stand-up comedians and bloggers whose brand is sarcasm. Customers, teammates, leaders and even suppliers respond much better to positive action oriented messages.

I hope you will share these tips with others. I ask only that you credit this site http://katenasser.com.

Check back frequently for more soft skills tips that strengthen your career and your business success. I welcome your tips, comments, and questions below.
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach

A recent experience brings me to this customer service reminder.  When interacting with the customer, use the customer’s jargon not yours.   Here’s a simple true story …

A financial professional switches from selling to financial advisory firms to giving financial advice to consumers — in this case us.  In his previous job, he was speaking to people who already spoke his financial jargon.  It was daily interaction on financial products under the same regulations.  They spoke with the same jargon using spreadsheets and pie charts.  They communicated in the same way.  A perfect fit.

Now, he is advising non-financial industry professionals on their lifetime savings.  The problem: he still uses financial industry jargon and assumes we understand.  He sends us pie charts, spreadsheets, and big thick books to read.  We ask him “How much did those transactions cost us?”  We want a simple $ amount.  He sends us a paragraph with no numbers in it.

The frustration is overwhelming.  We view him as non-customer focused.  He is making life difficult.   Can you envision what is about to happen? 

What do your customers think of you and your service?   Do you use the customers’ jargon or yours?

Remember:

1. Speak the language of the customer to build trust and loyalty!
2. Ask open-ended questions that unearth what they want to achieve.
3. Listen with their listening-style.
4. Ask creative follow-up questions.
5. Use their jargon — not yours!

You are welcome to quote and share any part of this blog post if you will list the URL http://katenasser.com.

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach

908.595.1515 (USA)