communication

Reduce Conflict: 5 Places to Hear the Urgency Before the Yell

As The People Skills Coach™, I often teach others how to deal with people’s anger in the workplace and reduce conflict. Does your boss yell? Has a team member suddenly become edgy with you? Has a customer surprised you with a yell?

Reduce Conflict: Image is bee w/ magnifying glass.

Reduce Conflict: Hear the Urgency Before the Yell Image: Istock.

Image licensed from Istock.com


If you don’t like to be yelled at, develop one of the most valuable people skills to reduce conflict:

Hear the urgency before the yell!



Often when the boss, a teammate, or a customer yells, you have missed the urgency they were communicating before the yell. It’s not your fault and this is not about blame. Yet hearing the urgency before the yell can give you what you want — less conflict!

In the face of urgency and a listener who doesn’t hear it, someone may resort to a yell. I am not speaking about people who yell all the time. I am referring to people who suddenly start to yell.

Reduce Conflict: 5 Places to Hear Urgency Before the Yell!

  1. Hear urgency in repetition. When they calmly say the same thing twice, hear their urgency and acknowledge it — before the yell. If you remain silent because you are pondering what they said, the next thing you hear may be a yell. To them silence means you don’t care. Tell them you are thinking not ignoring them.


  2. Hear urgency in their lack of knowledge. Your expertise blinds you to their urgency. As they speak, your knowledge is calmly telling you that you can handle it. Speak up. Nicely reassure them that you can handle it. Communicate solutions sooner to reduce conflict and prevent the yell.

  3. Hear urgency in the painful past or impending future. Many times people’s urgency comes from previous negative experiences that caused them pain or something they are anticipating. Ask great questions while people are calm to uncover their concerns — before the yell. When you uncover the fear, you find the urgency and reduce conflict.

  4. Hear urgency in the need to be acknowledged. Urgency is not always a deadline for action. Often people’s urgency resides in their need to be heard. Tell them that you hear what they are saying. Paraphrase (not parrot) what they have said. Acknowledging people can prevent the yell and reduce conflict.

  5. Hear urgency in the bigger picture. Example: I was teaching a public class. The banquet room was to be setup by 7:30am so I could prepare before greeting the students. I walked in to see a room configured incorrectly and no flip charts.

    I calmly spoke with the hotel rep about re-configuring room and the time frame needed. Ten minutes later there was still no change. I then said, “Fix this now!”. He replied, “that’s good, you woke me up” and quickly fixed the problem. To him, my calm voice at the beginning meant it wasn’t urgent. Had he looked at the bigger picture of my need to prepare before people arrived, he would have heard the urgency in the calm — before the yell.



Bonus Tip: The more you know about people, the easier it is to reduce conflict and prevent the yell. Learn what annoys them (pet peeves), their personality types, their fears and goals, their frustrations, and how best to respond before the yell.





You can create positive, proactive, productive interactions in business.





What have surprising outbursts taught you about reducing conflict in business?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Related Posts:
6 Key Reasons Executive Leaders Get Annoyed w/ You
Reduce Conflict: Listen While You Speak

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

A World Gone Social: Interview of Authors Ted Coiné & Mark Babbitt

A World Gone Social: Image is the book cover.

A World Gone Social by Ted Coiné & Mark Babbitt




After years of research, Ted Coiné and Mark Babbitt have penned a substantive leadership book, A World Gone Social.  This book could easily be subtitled, The Accountability Age – Leadership in a World Gone Social. It digs into leadership, employee engagement, customer experience, and innovation. 

The book goes beneath meaningless numbers like total followers to the true influences and influencers in business today.  It reveals social media’s impact on leadership and management and guides leaders on how to make the shift. 

As The People Skills Coach™, I was intrigued and attracted to the book’s title, A World Gone Social.  I wondered what impact it’s truly having on businesses and employees.



I caught up with authors Ted Coiné and Mark Babbitt to learn more about what their research uncovered.

Q: Ted & Mark, as you researched A World Gone Social, what surprises did you uncover?

Mark: Since my business, YouTern, is social all the way, I was surprised that many companies are not living it. Especially at the Csuite level, many haven’t embraced it and aren’t leading from it or with it.

Ted: I was surprised that many companies don’t yet realize that social media is a tool creating a holistic change in how we think, act, and lead. It’s not just a technology trend.  It’s empowering small, little known businesses in garages to truly challenge big businesses.

Kate: Ted, I can almost hear the shark music from Jaws playing in the background as you say that!


Q: Why aren’t leaders, especially at the highest levels, leading from and with social media?

Mark & Ted: They don’t know how to measure it. What’s the ROI of using social media for x amount per day or week?  That is why we included a whole section in the book to meaningful social media metrics and how to calculate them.


Q: How is social media truly changing the work lives of the workers?

Mark & Ted: Well the standard workday is dead. For employees with managers who are emailing them very early and very late, this can lead to overwork, burnout, etc… For employees with managers who believe in flexibility as long as you deliver results, mobile and social media are transforming the workplace in a positive way.


Q: In your opinion, has social media caused more harm than good OR more good than harm?

Ted: I like that question. Best one I’ve been asked yet.  Social media is good. It connects people to a world of new possibilities. And it’s here. You don’t really get a vote. You can choose not to use it yet it affects you anyway.

Mark: It’s all in how you use it. It’s great to celebrate wins and meet that human need for connection in business and in life. However, people who use it to tell the world about their sore feet are missing the true purpose of social media.


Q: Mark & Ted, what are the key messages in your book, A World Gone Social?

  • Death of the large! Small companies are now truly empowered to tell the world about their innovative products and services. This type of communication was formerly only the territory of big players. So for large companies to not  truly embrace social media is a huge strategic mistake.
  • Metrics are still possible! You can measure social media ROI. We show you in this book the approaches to take. 
  • Ordinary is now extraordinary. An ordinary person with an extraordinary network can be hugely successful.  Whether you are a budding entrepreneur or just out of school looking for your first job, branding with social media IS the pathway to success.



Q: What do you intend and hope this book will do for everyone in the business world?

Mark: Help people realize it’s important to re-energize people in the workplace and social media is the pathway to doing it!

Ted: Being social, not just industrial or digital, makes sense because it plays to human nature and basic human needs.

Kate: So it’s not just small talk or useless chatter. It doesn’t distract from business success.  It is the pathway to success.

Mark & Ted: Yes!




Author: Ted Coiné

Chairman, Switch and Shift: Ted Coiné

CEO & Founder YouTern: Mark S. Babbitt

Author: Mark S. Babbitt





Listen to more of the interview about A World Gone Social with Ted Coiné and Mark Babbitt.







Thank you, Mark & Ted, for writing A World Gone Social.  In my opinion it’s a must read for every leader and manager wanting to move past the trend and into the truth about social media’s purpose, influence, and outcomes. Congratulations!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Additional Leadership Posts
Leadership: 5 Essentials for Building 21st Century Teams
People Skills: The Secret Within Every Great Communicator


©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Empowered Not Entitled: Communicating for Success

Team members, picture yourselves as leaders or managers. Would you want to lead and manage empowered employees or entitled ones?

The responses overwhelmingly come back, empowered not entitled. Leaders and managers agree too. The question is why?





Empowered Not Entitled: Image is 3 hands.

Communicate You Are Empowered Not Entitled. Image licensed from Istock.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com


Empowered Not Entitled: When Everyone Serves, Everyone Wins!

Empowered team members engage and contribute for maximum success. They step up; they don’t sit back. They give to everyone; they don’t wait to receive. When everyone serves, everyone wins.


Communicate You Are Empowered Not Entitled

  1. Give more than you request.
  2. Correct your mistakes and help others to mend theirs.
  3. Offer sincere apologies when you impact others badly.
  4. Focus on everyone succeeding not getting what others have.
  5. Create your rewards by contributing your talents and effort vs. demanding rewards now.



Bold Illustration
One team member emailed his manager, “I would like to work from home three days a week. How can you make this happen for me?” The language he used communicated he felt entitled. He expected others to do for him. This attitude is a dead weight against success. It burdens and weighs down leaders, managers, and teams.


The manager explained that she wasn’t his concierge. If he wanted to explore new ideas, he should first ask if it’s possible, offer what he would do to make it happen, and outline the benefits to the organization. This is how you communicate you are empowered not entitled!






If a team were comprised of all entitled team members, what would it accomplish? Conversely empowered team members engage and contribute for all to win. Are you a welcome contributor or an annoying maverick?





Empowered not entitled: Show your team & company what you can do for them!



“Never stand begging for that which you have the power to earn.” ~Miguel de Cervantes



Leaders, do your part. Reward contribution not just bold requests for promotion.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Accountability Legacy: People Skills Secrets Revealed
Teamwork: Are You a Welcome Contributor or an Annoying Maverick?
Teamwork Collaboration: Leadership Beliefs That Kill It

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

The Rewards of Courtesy is our people skills chat topic this Sunday.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Sept. 14, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
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The Rewards of Courtesy

September is National Courtesy Month and in honor of it, we will explore the rewards of courtesy. So often courtesy is either taken for granted or thought of as soft and less important. So we will gather to explore courtesy and its deeper value.


The Rewards of Courtesy. Image is People skills logo

The Rewards of Courtesy. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

What Are the True Rewards of Courtesy?

From customer service, to teamwork, leadership, and global business, courtesy delivers far more than we often acknowledge. It’s more than a smile to make someone feel good.

Courtesy Awards: Image is a heart with the banner saying "courteous".

People Skills Community Courtesy Awards! Image designed by Vizwerx for People Skills Community.

When we picture business interactions without courtesy, the image and outcomes change dramatically.

JOIN us in this chat as we discuss the rewards of courtesy and its true value in work and life.

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • Are courtesy and authenticity at odds? Pls. explain.
  • What can courtesy do that lack of courtesy can’t?
  • Is courtesy in the eye of the beholder? Or are there some common elements of value to all?
  • Do leaders have to choose between strength/effectiveness and courtesy?
  • When in your work or life have you been most grateful for courtesy?
  • In the age of social media, is courtesy passé? Or must we recommit to it?
  • How does courtesy affect people? Results?
  • How are courtesy and emotional intelligence related? Or are they at odds?
  • How is courtesy different around the globe?
  • In your opinion, what are the greatest rewards of courtesy?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday Sept 14, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills chat about the rewards of courtesy.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Sept. 14, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on the rewards of courtesy.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. Sept. 14, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Twitter Chat about the rewards of courtesy.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

 

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Why & When Do Executives Get Annoyed & Impatient With You?


If you feel shaky when executives seem annoyed and impatient with you, knowing why they act this way can help you prevent this.

It will reduce your fear by preventing theirs!

Whether you have frequent interactions with these top leaders or the occasional presentation to them, insight about what executives fear can help you modify your approach with them. The results are amazing.


6 Reasons Top Leaders Get Annoyed w/ You. Image is swirling vortex.

6 Reasons Executives Get Impatient & Annoyed w/ You. Image by: Onkel_Wart via Flickr.

Image courtesy of Onkel Wart via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Don’t Trigger Executive Leaders’ Fears

I often teach managers how to make effective presentations to executives. The most important thing to understand is the executive’s mindset.

Most of what executives do depends on others. They do not accomplish tasks purely with their own skill and experience. They must rely on you yet they are accountable for the success of the organization. All of this can induce their fear.

Don’t activate their fear — prevent it!

  1. Executives are pressured to perform broadly. Everyone wants some of their time. To succeed, they funnel info to hit the mark. When you blabber on with details before the main point, you scare the bejeebers out of them.

    Tip: Know your purpose and get to the point. Focus prevents organizational failure.


  2. Executives must care about the organization, not just about you. When executives feel that your need for validation and personal expression is more important to you than the business, you scare the bejeebers out of them.

    Tip: Capture their attention with the main focus first. Their comprehension goes up and their fear goes down.


  3. Executives are aware of conditions and risks that you don’t know. When they ask for one thing and you give them everything but that, they feel trapped in your lack of knowledge. You scare the bejeebers out of them.

    Tip: Give them what they want. If you cannot deliver it, tell them how close you can get with next best option.


  4. Executives need to know the ship can survive a storm. When you tell them the problem without offering a feasible solution, they feel they are steering a ship with no crew. You scare the bejeebers out of them.

    Tip: Do your job; don’t ask them to do it!


  5. Executives are there to move the organization forward. When you hesitate, waffle, freeze in a fumble instead of recover, executives see stagnation. You scare the bejeebers out of them.

    Tip: Anticipate what questions the executives will ask you and prepare how you will handle it.


  6. Executives are responsible for the overall health of the organization. When you ask for the sun and the moon when the organization is on shaky ground, executives witness mania instead of sanity. You scare the bejeebers out of them.

    Tip: Show them up front how your request/solution makes the ground firmer and the organization healthier.



As Bruce Gabrielle notes in his post 9 Tips to Nail Your Next Executive Presentation, “Don’t be afraid of executives, be afraid for them.”


Do not add to their fear. Reduce it with preparation, insight, and focused communication. Show them they can truly rely on you!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Career Success: 13 Important People Skills Tips
Professional People Skills to Show Your Change-Ability

©2011-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: Risk Free Success!


Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: Image is person breaking through and emerging through a wall.

Listening Beyond Our Boundaries. Image licensed from Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com


We succeed in leadership, teamwork, employee engagement, customer service and relationships in general when we listen beyond our boundaries.

Listening beyond our boundaries solves problems and prevents problems. It turns perceived gaps into understanding. It magically draws people together to do the impossible. There is nothing to stop us.


All we need to do is get started!


Listening Beyond Our Boundaries: 2 Minute Quick Start Video















When has listening beyond your boundaries created surprising results?

How can we help others to listen beyond their boundaries?

Or must everyone do it on their own?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Listening Responsibility: Listen While We Speak!

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Listening Responsibility: Listen While We Speak!


Do you get annoyed when people try to interact with you while you are speaking to them? Do you see it as an interruption?

You may be defining listening as complete silence until you are done. If so, you may also be overlooking your listening responsibility.


Listening Responsibility: Image is olive oil pouring through funnel strainer.

Listening Responsibility: Listen for Input While You Speak!

Image courtesy of Williams-Sonoma product catalog.


Unless our purpose is to preach or make a speech, great communication requires that we listen for input while we speak. This is our listening responsibility for true connection.


What kind of input?

  • Non-verbal cues like negative facial expressions, a hand up, heads turning away, people walking away. If we overlook these and keep on talking, our message to others is one of power not care and connection.

  • Polite requests to jump in. Phrases like — excuse me or pardon me or sorry I have to go — signal a need. If we show annoyance at being interrupted, we communicate a desire to dominate and please ourselves rather than connect with others.

  • Input that keeps everyone connected. If people aren’t with us, who are we communicating with? Speaking without allowing input, disengages and disconnects.





Listening Responsibility: 5 Reasons People Interrupt Us

When we speak, people may jump in for various reasons.

  1. They are confused. People who tell me they hate interruptions believe that if people would just let them finish speaking, the confusion would disappear. However, they discount how people feel when they are confused. Waiting prolongs and intensifies the pain of confusion. To communicate and connect, allow people to jump in to clarify and eliminate their confusion.

  2. We are confused. Picture yourself speaking with a customer. They ask a question and we begin to answer it. They jump in when they realize we misunderstood their question. Our listening responsibility is to hear what we misunderstood as soon as possible. Great service comes through dialogue not monologue.

  3. They are seeing disaster that we don’t see. The purpose for speaking can create tunnel vision. As others hear what we are saying, they may jump in to prevent our feet from being stuck in our mouths. Instead of being annoyed at the interruption, consider the helpful input they offer.

  4. We don’t know how they think. Picture presenting to decision makers you don’t know. You start your presentation and they quickly jump in and ask questions. Listen to this input. They are telling you how they think and how they decide. Turn their gift into your success! Don’t resist their input as an interruption. Project your desire to serve not your need for power.

  5. Something has changed. Things can change from the moment we start to speak to the moment people jump in. Perhaps they need to leave suddenly. Maybe we’ve said something that completely changes the topic and view. While we speak, our listening responsibility is to be aware of what is changing and adapt to close the gap.






Speaking is not output. It is output in response to input that is flowing at you. Embrace this input. Connect with others by listening while you speak. Reach ‘em, don’t preach ‘em!


Your turn: When have you embraced input instead of being annoyed at it?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership: Are You Communicating w/ Honesty & Civility?
People Skills: The Secret Within Every Great Communicator
Career Success: Are You Rocking w/ These 13 People Skills?

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership: Do You See a Generation Gap or an Intersection?


Every day  I hear leaders talk about the generation gap in the workplace.  I read about it blogs.  My reaction is, it’s an intersection — not a gap!


When the leadership in an organization see and focus on the differences, they widen the gap.  When the leadership see the possibilities at the intersection of talents, the gap narrows and even disappears.



Leadership: Find the Generation Intersections!

Gaps among diverse people are temporary not permanent. Consider how many times gaps have faded into sudden connection and teamwork in everyday life …

  • Disparate groups — even mistrustful factions — who pull together in a major crisis to save lives
  • Prospects who don’t want to talk to a sales person — until the sales rep finds the common ground
  • Private venture capitalists who embrace very young entrepreneurs when high potential and profit is staring them in the face
  • Very young entrepreneurs who truly welcome older experienced investors and advisers to increase success



Everyone Has a Story
We’ve all seen grandparents captivate their grandchildren with stories of the past. My young niece, when hearing me tell funny stories about relatives she never knew, blurted out “tell more stories!” This was after a long holiday meal where she was the only child at the table. You would think she would have been bored. No! She wanted to connect/intersect with generations she never knew.

What common elements turn the generation gap into an intersection?

  1. Positive, fun, upbeat, hopeful moments
  2. Possibilities and abundance for everyone not exclusions and shortage of opportunities
  3. Mutual gain from respecting diverse talents and views
  4. Higher calling or need as in a crisis

Leadership Generations Intersection: Image is intersecting circles.

Leadership Generations Intersection Not Gap via Istock.com.




What can leadership do to create these intersections?

  1. Create positive opportunities for the generations to intersect.
  2. Highlight the abundance of success that awaits instead of the tough times and narrowing opportunities.
  3. Team build with employees’ stories. The generations intersect as they see common human needs and responses emerge and merge.






Images licensed from Istock.com

Why bother? Because …






Leaders, help the generations to intersect. The time is now. I have many team building programs to make this happen. Let’s do it!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Teamwork Posts:
Leadership: 5 Essentials to Build 21st Century Teams
Leadership People Skills: 5 Ways to Spark Team Agility

©2013-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Manage Your Boss is our people skills chat topic this Sunday.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Aug. 24, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



Manage Your Boss! Image is People skills logo

How to Manage Your Boss. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

How to Manage Your Boss

Is this something you do or did at one point in your career? Is it worth the time?

Those who manage their boss say — absolutely. Others say absolutely not because they see it as flattery and manipulation. With these different definitions and views, we will have a very interesting people skills Twitter chat (#peopleskills).

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • What meaning do you attach to the phrase ‘manage your boss’?
  • When have you found it valuable, if at all?
  • Exactly what does managing your boss entail?
  • How do flattering and managing differ?
  • How can you learn/understand what your boss expects?
  • What have you done when you disagreed with your boss?
  • How do you influence your bosses without looking like a threat to them?
  • When you manage your boss, what is the impact on your peers?
  • What can bosses do to make interaction easy and productive?
  • Are emotional intelligence & people skills essential to managing your boss? How or why not?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday Aug. 24, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills chat on how to manage your boss.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to people skills community and generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Aug. 24, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on how to manage your boss.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. Aug. 24, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Twitter Chat on how to manage your boss.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Volumes are written on key steps to leading change. When we sort through it all, one blatant truth emerges:

Leading change requires networking our inspiration!

Leading Change: Image is fish jumping from one glass to the next.

Leading Change: Network Our Inspiration

Image licensed via Istock.com.


From this we might focus on communicating the change, the reasons why, what’s in it for everyone, what it will take etc….


Are you inspired by that? Probably not. No one else will be either. Admittedly communication is critical to leading change. Yet communicating about the change is NOT the same as inspiring others to make it happen.


Networking our inspiration with those we lead includes:

  • Starting with mutual respect
  • Developing trust through the heart not just the head
  • Engaging their talents and their spirit
  • Building their change-ability to prepare for major shifts



Networking inspiration must start early — the day we become positional leaders. Not the day we need to lead change.

    Highly directive leaders who rarely engage their teams will seem fake when suddenly networking inspiration to spur a major change. It seems manipulative. People resist being changed.
    Leaders who focus mostly on being liked also struggle with leading change. They have built personal connections based on neediness and their fear is palpable. There is little for others to trust in order to overcome the comfort of the status quo.



We can effectively lead change when we have healthy connections to team members and the mission of the organization. This healthy balance of head and heart is the inspiration!





Earning Trust With Our Heads and Hearts

Long before major changes inch onto the horizon, team members are looking to see how we as leaders handle difficult situations. Some situations may be very mission related while still others will relate to team dynamics and morale.

Examples

  • Showing them our clear heads in a crisis is a start. Developing their clear heads for change through coaching and empowerment is networking our inspiration!
  • Reviewing data with them before a decision develops valuable critical thinking. Using our intuition and tapping theirs builds their change-ability!

    Change involves dealing with the unknown. Using intuition gives everyone practice in grappling with grey areas and moving ahead with less than a full picture. With this practice, we network our inspiration and develop their change-ability long before a major change is needed.

  • When we handle individual performance issues, we act appropriately. When we also address team morale issues resulting from performance issues, we celebrate the value of morale in leading change. “Work it our yourselves” is abdicating our inspirational role. “Let’s work this out and create a model for maintaining great morale”, is networking our inspiration.


We lead change with inspiration; we succeed when we network the inspiration and build change-ability throughout the organization.


Why do many leaders avoid the inspirational approach when it is so critical to leading change?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2012-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Related Posts:
Leading Change: Is the Beloved Bully Stopping You?
Leaders, Engage Employees Change-Ability Through Entrepreneurial Spirit
Leaders, Develop Your Intuition


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Being Process Driven Squeezes People Out & Away


Being Process Driven: Image is a pastry bag creating identical cookies.

Being Process Driven May Squeeze People Out Image by: Mike Bierschenk

Image by Mike Bierschenk via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Processes are filters that funnel what is acceptable and reject what isn’t. Many leaders and managers tout the benefits of being process driven. It facilitates metrics and reduces errors. It prevents chaos and increases consistency.

The Dark Side and Downside of Being Process Driven

But being process driven often makes process more important than people. It blocks engagement and the input of those who are creative, results driven, or relationship focused — i.e. not process driven.

This downside may be the downfall of your employee engagement efforts, customer satisfaction, and your business growth.


This downside is more likely to occur when …

  • Your personality type craves order and consistency
  • The organization’s culture is hierarchical, un-empowered and highly risk averse
  • You lead from metrics
  • Proving results is more important to you than engaging and improving



Prevent this downside from becoming your downfall!





  • Build emotionally intelligent processes. Being process driven can honor people’s input and diverse perspectives.
  • Moderate your need for control. Processes aren’t rigid; some people are. They rigidly enforce processes. Ease up on your need for control and you won’t squeeze others out.
  • Make process a flow rather than a constrictive funnel. As rivers flow they make twists and turns and the water still reaches the mouth.
  • Remember, that proving results need not stop change, growth, and improvement.



Being process driven can be deceptively comfortable. Consistency often feels better than change.

Yet being rigidly process driven is based on the risky assumption that nothing is changing around you. New business opportunities, evolving customer expectations, available talent, and cultural differences are just some of the changes that processes often shut out. Don’t let this happen to you.


Replace the comfort of “the process is” with the intelligence of “how does the process apply here?”






Follow Nordstrom’s Rule: Use best judgment in all situations!



What else must leaders & teams do to stay agile and inclusive?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Persistence vs. Resistance to Change

Leaders, 5 Times When Logic Will Fail You

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Career Communication: Do Others Take You Seriously?


Career Communication: Image is man seriously studying a game.

Career Communication: Playing Can Be Hazardous. Image via Will Vanlue.

Image by Will Vanlue via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Career Communication: Just Playing Can Be Hazardous

Occasionally I write a short post on a word or phrase that can bring you unexpected trouble. Today I raise the flag on a trendy phrase that’s becoming popular at work and in networking.


“I’m just playing at this.”



Despite the findings about the value of play at work, using this phrase can create mistrust, worry, and even indignation.

It causes trouble in career communication when …

  • You are interacting with professionals who take their work quite seriously
  • People are looking to you for help and guidance
  • You are new to the field and others are trying to bond with you



Enjoying your work is necessary for long term success. Having a sense of humor is a valuable trait.

Yet appearing whimsical in your career communication can sidetrack your success. Too many jokes, excessive ha ha’s and the phrase, I’m just playing at this, may create distance between you and others. Create bonds not distance!




Sense the attitude and mood of others. Your career communication is not about you. It’s about you connecting with others. Let others see your social intelligence, emotional intelligence, your intuition, and your serious talents and skills. It builds trust and bonds of success.


What other phrases unknowingly create distance between people?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Replace These 5 Emotionally Triggered Statements Especially at Work
People Skills: Change ONE Unfortunate Word for Great Career Communication

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Making Aggression Unacceptable is our people skills chat topic this Sunday.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday July 27, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



Making Aggression Unacceptable: Is It Possible With People Skills?

Aggression is all around us in the world right now. Politics aside, we wonder how can we make aggression unacceptable? How can we overcome the tendency for aggression and focus on productive peace?

Joining me as co-host for this discussion on making aggression unacceptable will be Dave Moore, founder of the The Moore Consortium. Dave hails from UK and reaches around the globe with his human potential transformation workshops (#HPTTransformation).


Making Aggression Unacceptable. Image is People skills logo

Making Aggression Unacceptable. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Making Aggression Unacceptable: Is It Desirable & Possible?

Dave Moore and I had several discussions as we wondered if the topic was viable and desirable for a people skills chat.

Although it took us longer than usual to formulate it, we never swayed from the importance of the topic of making aggression unacceptable. So we turn this Sunday to all the people skills chat participants to add their voice and dig deeper into this vision.

We can explore, from many aspects, making aggression unacceptable. We invite you to lend your perspective without politics to this topic that touches all of humanity. Some questions to get us thinking in advance of Sunday’s #Peopleskills Twitter chat:

  • What is your definition of aggression? Violence?
  • How does it differ from a competitive spirit?
  • Do you see life as individual existence or connectedness? Competition or collaboration?
  • How does that affect views about aggression, if at all?
  • Why do you think aggression is so common in the world today?
  • If trust doesn’t exist, is aggression inevitable?
  • What does harmony represent to you: Success, happiness, or sacrifice/loss?
  • How can we as humans bring a powerful voice of peace to everyday life?
  • Destruction/violence: What can we do in the face of it?
  • How can we make people skills the preferred choice over aggression?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday July 27, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills chat about making aggression unacceptable.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to this week’s co-host Dave Moore and the people skills community. Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday July 27, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on making aggression unacceptable. This will not be about politics. Our focus is about humanity and peace.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. July 27, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Twitter Chat about making aggression unacceptable.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Making Great First Impressions is our people skills chat topic this Sunday.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday July 13, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



Making Great First Impressions: What Does It Truly Take?

The old saying: “You never get a second chance to make a good first impression” has stood the test of time. Although it’s origin remains in question being attributed to such diverse people as Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, and Will rogers, the message lives on. Let’s probe what making great first impressions really takes?

Joining me as co-host for this discussion in our global #Peopleskills Twitter chat will be Dave Moore, founder of the The Moore Consortium. Dave hails from UK and reaches around the globe with his human potential transformation workshops (#HPTTransformation) for business and sales success.


Making Great First Impressions: Image is People skills logo

Making Great First Impressions. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Making Great First Impressions At Work and In Life!

Dave Moore suggested this people skills chat topic of making great first impressions because image can build or break down barriers. Yet, this topic is often overlooked as people prepare for their careers or start their businesses.

As Dave puts it, “Being seen as someone who is confident, calm, friendly, and approachable is the key to building, rather than burning, bridges. It is about energy, how you say what you need to say, how you treat people, how you speak to people and how you behave.”

This is a great people skills chat topic with so much to probe and ponder. Some questions to get us thinking in advance of Sunday’s #Peopleskills Twitter chat:

  • How do you see yourself? What first impression do you make? Do others agree?
  • What memories do you create when meeting others for the first time?
  • How can we project confidence without arrogance?
  • Making great first impressions: Is it a partnership or individual responsibility?
  • How can we overcome assumptions and stereotypes in making great first impressions?
  • When/how do goals and beliefs impact making great first impressions?
  • How do we ensure that the lasting impression is worth lasting?
  • How do we show we are worthy of other people’s trust and build trust that will last?
  • How do we get a connection that will remain for a long time?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday July 13, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills chat about making great first impressions.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to this week’s co-host Dave Moore and the people skills community. Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday July 13, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on making great first impressions.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. July 13, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Twitter Chat about making great first impressions.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

The word leader used to mean strong, directive, and unemotional. That picture has shifted to less directive and more in touch with employees’ needs.


Yet where is the balance between results-focused and people-focused? In tough moments …

Are you too nice to lead?



Are You Too Nice to Lead, Effectively?

Image by: SeanbJack via Creative Commons License.


There are team members who want, welcome, and will only work for a nice leader — until they see that the nice leader won’t address poor performance and cannot negotiate tough issues with other teams and management.

They feel unprotected and at the mercy of slacking team members and other teams. So much for leaders being nice!

When Might You Be Too Nice to Lead?


  1. With Fear of Conflict. If you tend to avoid conflict and want people to just work things out for themselves, you may be seen as too nice to lead.

    Alternative: Get a coach to help you develop your conflict resolution skills. Great leaders move past their fear. They know when to step in and even teach others how to work together.


  2. In Times of Great Change. In everyday work, your teams think of you as a very effective leader. Then the organization announces a major change and you must lead your teams through it. The tension rises and your teams resist. In this moment of truth, do you lead them forward? If you cave in to their objections and resistance, your boss may see you as too nice to lead.

    Alternative: Have the courage to draw on the good will you have with your team. Show them you believe in them and in the change. If you don’t believe it, why should they?


  3. When You Require Emotional Support. Being humble and less directive can be good for your team as respects and taps their talent and commitment. Showing no confidence and needing constant emotional support can scare the bejeebers out of them and earn you the label of too nice or weak to lead.

    Alternative: Learn and understand the interplay between being confident and being humble. Confidence is strength for your team. Humbleness opens the door to growth. Both are valuable leadership traits. Lack of confidence isn’t.


  4. If You Must Be Liked. Needing to be liked can steer you to many poor leadership behaviors. It can drive you to sacrifice results for the virtual hug. This can earn you the label of too nice to lead.

    Alternative: Be like-able without seeking to be liked.


  5. When You Get Promoted. Picture yourself leading your former peers and even being a peer of your former boss. Guilt or feelings of unworthiness can make you seem timid or too solicitous. This can earn you the label of too nice to lead.

    Alternative: Your boss or another leader put their faith in you. You were promoted for a reason. The team you lead needs your courage and talent. Even if some team members grouse in jealousy, the team’s success depends on your willingness to do the job. Embrace the responsibility you were given; don’t trigger the decision maker’s doubt and regret. Believe in yourself, the purpose, and the team. Lead.


  6. If You Own Their Behavior. When you mistakenly believe that you are responsible for a team member’s behavior, you are at risk of giving an errant employee too many chances. You may take their behavior as your failure. If you are coaching one of your team members and they are not making progress, would you be able to tell them they are no longer on the team? If not, you may earn the label of too nice to lead.

    Alternative: Afford your team members the adult responsibility of owning their own behavior. Coach, teach, guide, and lead them. But let them own their own behavior!


  7. When Your Career is Paramount. When you care about your career growth more than the current position, you may inappropriately say yes to other teams or management requests. You are busy pleasing everyone else and your current team’s success may suffer. If you are lucky, this may earn you the label of too nice to lead. If you are not lucky, it may earn you a different label that isn’t fit for print. Either way, it’s not what a great leader does.

    Alternative: Let current successes, appropriate interactions, and great negotiation pave your career path.




As the definition of leadership has shifted from rough directive behavior to engaging employees, some leaders veer off course and focus only on happiness.


Rediscover the balance and you foster success for all!













You can be liked and fail as a leader; you can be disliked and fail as a leader.

Seek and practice balance and you will succeed!


From professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2011-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Related Posts:
Leadership: Can You Be Friends With Those You Lead? Yes If …
6 Steps to Lead With Honesty & Civility
10 Ways to Ignite Greatness Without Leaving Scars


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

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