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The impression you make on others impacts the outcome.  The impression others make on you impacts what you will achieve together.  This is the world of people-skills.  What impression do you make? Is it the one you want?

A recent first time face-to-face meeting with a contact left me surprisingly annoyed.  He was a visual communicator. He drew everything he said.  His focus was on the drawing.  He drew at me instead of communicating with me.

The impression he made was isolated and professorial.  Yet, we met to network and explore business possibilities.  The outcome? Very little since he stayed in his own world of visuals.

There is nothing inherently wrong with using visuals.  They clarify when words can’t.   They expand understanding beyond the details.

Yet if you surrender your impression (especially your first impression) to any one aspect of your natural style, the end result may not be what you want or need.

Extremes separate you from the rest.

They can get you noticed or isolated.

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This is the world of people-skills.
What’s your impression?

When you are online, do your short messages come across as marching orders or effectively concise human connections ? When you are on the phone, does your personality come through? Do you know what impression you make?

Driver personality types achieve results yet can turn people off because they sound like they are issuing orders.

Amiable personality types build connections yet can leave people confused about the message.

Expressives leave no doubt about the message but can strain people’s patience by talking too much.

Analytics draw people in with logic but can lose them by leaving the main point until the end.

Moderating extremes to better connect with others is the world of people-skills. What’s your impression? It’s yours to develop.

Want to learn more about how to adapt? Watch GPS Your People-Skills to Work with Any Personality Type (short video).

From my experience to your success,

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach

©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

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Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, delivers workshops, keynotes, and consultations that turn interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. Leaders have been booking Kate for 21 years to turn people-skills extremes into business success. See this site for customer results and book Kate now.

Obviously, in sales and customer service, listening is critical to success. Not so obvious is how to listen for customer cares when your mind is processing your own perspective.

What’s in it for you to work on this? Sales & service fail when you don’t address customer cares. Moreover, customers even select higher priced products and services when you show them you get what they care about.

Winning Ways to Listen for Customer Cares

1. Hear the story as well as the details. If you are highly analytic, you may naturally listen for details. You may miss important customer cares because they emerge as the sum of the details. Do you listen for the whole point of the story?
   Winning way: If this is your listening challenge, say to the customer “I hear these details (a. b. c. …). If we put this together, what does it say about your key interest or concern?” It shows the customer you listen & you care!




2. Accept the obvious. Often customers are clearly stating their preferences. When it represents a challenge to what you want or can deliver, do you respond with what’s on your mind?
   Winning way: Paraphrase the customer’s preference then respond. If you do this consistently, you will listen better, sell more, and serve well. You and the customers will connect with mutual success.




3. Be excellent instead of right. Working with others, especially with customers, is first about excellence in connecting. It is the nexus of trust. Successful results come from excellent connections not from you pressing your points at the start. Once you are connected to the customers’ cares, they are more capable of hearing your perspective and valuable ideas.
   Winning way: Respect the differences, learn to love the differences, find the fit. One key step: Spot and Adapt to Personality Types.

Success in sales & service is within your easy reach if you reach outside your own perspective. Staying inside your own zone of communication style, knowledge, and control keeps you comfortably disconnected — from success. Think about it …

Yours in service,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach

What is your best listening skills tip? Please share your people-skills experience in the comments field below.


©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. For permission to re-post or republish, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

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Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, has amassed 21 years of stellar results with corporate customers turning interpersonal obstacles into business success. Her energy is legendary, her insight objective, and her results tangible. See this site for info about her keynotes, workshops, and dvds.

On a recent Continental ExpressJet flight to  Louisville, KY (USA),  I watched a competent flight attendant service the entire plane of customers by herself.  This is common on these smaller jets and I have had good to superb service on various ExpressJet flights depending on the flight attendant.

This flight attendant’s demeanor during beverage service was cool, distant, and yes a bit impersonal.  After doing beverage service, the flight attendant sat down since the flight was only half-full.  She sat in an empty seat on the aisle across from me.

At one point she started to chat with me and her demeanor became very personable and warm.  The difference was striking.   Later in the flight she arose to do a second beverage service and her demeanor again was cool and distant.   I understood that she couldn’t chat with every customer during beverage service because of time restrictions.  Yet her smile was gone and her tone of voice was much cooler and quite different up in front of all the customers.

Because of my work, this intrigued me.  Had she been given training that told her to be cool and distant?  Or was she an introvert on the personality scale and only felt comfortable when she was speaking one-on-one?  Or is there some ‘behavioral effect’ that kicks in when people perform an official role?

Regardless of the reasons for her cool attitude during service, I offer all service professionals this simple advice:

1. Customers are loyal to great connections; cool and distant doesn’t connect.
2. Even in very formal settings, reserved is not cool and distant.  Know the difference.
3. In less formal settings, shine your warmth on the customers; the connection makes the difference.

Believe it — customers remember moments. What do you want them to remember?