KateNasser.com

A recent post at http://resumebear.com emphasizes once again that people-skills (also known as soft skills) top employers’ lists of desired qualities. [http://resumebear.com/blog/index.php/2009/12/06/five-character-qualities/]

People-skills or soft skills also top the list of top skills that employers want and new graduates (GEN Y) lack. [http://www.resumebear.com/blog/index.php/2009/05/21/top-skills-employers-want-and-new-graduates-lack/]

As a 20 year veteran entrepreneur, I can also attest that outstanding people-skills or soft skills top the list for business success.  So whether you are a new graduate (GEN Y) or among the many people changing careers or industries, improving your people-skills (soft skills) is a winning step. What skills specifically? Verbal and written communication, listening, and teamwork.

I will be posting a series of content rich articles with tangible soft skills improvement steps.

In this post, 3 solid steps that improve communication with customers, teammates, suppliers, and definitely with leaders.

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Speak current and future not past. Our communication is often riddled with references to the past.  Don’t believe me? Spend five to ten minutes being aware of what you say.  You will be very surprised at how often you reference the past.

Now rethink what you truly want to say and reword it to be focused on the present or future.  Focusing on the present and future minimizes the risk of digging up old problems between people, gets you active on solutions, and increases your value to employers and customers. It changes your image, your relationships, and your career/business success.  Simply put: In business, don’t take people back to the past.

True story to illustrate: I found a blog article on soft skills and posted it on Twitter.  I liked the main points the author made.  One of my Twitter followers read it and thought the author’s writing skills were poor.  She sent me the following message.  “Did you read it before you posted it?”  Her focus on the past made this a very poor communication. It can cause problems in interpersonal relationships.  After I wrote back to her, she made it clear that her main point was “I don’t like the author’s writing style”.  Her original message communicated something else.

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Speak honestly and positively. Honesty is important in business.  How you deliver the honesty determines how the listener will hear and react to your message. Even during conflict, you can speak with positive tones to speed the healing after the conflict.
Simple Rules: State facts as facts and opinion as opinion. State what needs to change and what is currently good.

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Skip the sarcasm. Sarcasm can often be misunderstood. It is more a form of anger than a form of humor. Keep it for moments with a close friend who loves your sarcasm or leave it to the stand-up comedians and bloggers whose brand is sarcasm. Customers, teammates, leaders and even suppliers respond much better to positive action oriented messages.

I hope you will share these tips with others. I ask only that you credit this site http://katenasser.com.

Check back frequently for more soft skills tips that strengthen your career and your business success. I welcome your tips, comments, and questions below.
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach

When I was a senior in high school, my father told me to take typing “because all girls should know how to type.”  WHAT, I screamed.  As I raged on about this remark and swore never to take typing, my mother offered another view. “You are going to college next year right?” Yes, I shot back.  “Well how will you do your papers if you can’t type?  It has nothing to do with being a girl.”

Despite my father’s attitude which made me scream, I did take typing as a graduating senior and my fingers still scream the keyboard at 90 words a minute.  I typed all my papers quickly in college while many pulled all-nighters. Moreover, I made money typing others’ papers from their handwritten drafts. 

After college I took a job as a computer programmer. My fingers screamed the keyboard at 90 words a minute.  As other programmers hunted and pecked their code, I took a longer lunch.  After my IT jobs, I started my own training/consulting practice where once again my fingers screamed the keyboard typing reports, email, and now for tweets on Twitter and discussions on LinkedIn.

Thankfully, I had seen the wisdom in my mother’s perspective.  Moreover, I learned something far more important than typing.  On your life’s journey, what sounds like bad advice isn’t always bad.  How you hear it makes the difference. You owe it to yourself to consider ideas before you make a choice.  This will affect your personal relationships, your team efforts at work, the customer experiences you deliver, the sales you make, and most importantly your life choices.

What colors your ability to listen, assess, and find a hidden pearl of wisdom?

• Dislike for the messenger’s attitude and other views
• Your map that doesn’t allow for a detour
• Internal noise – your thoughts saying no instead of hmm … what if
• Baggage and bad memories
• Fear
• Short-sighted view of life

How many people (older than Gen Y) imagined this online life at the keyboard?  How many including Gen Y imagined this terrible economic crisis?  Yet can you remember your grandparents saying save for a rainy day?  Did you dismiss it as old-fashioned and irrelevant?

Have you ever heard the expression: It’s amazing how wise your parents become as you get older?  That isn’t to say you should cling to the past.  Rather as you live in the present, improving how you hear things can open your life to new horizons.  You may discover an idea that will change your life.  

When I was unhappy with my IT jobs and struggling to create a happy life, a career counselor assessed my picture and told me that I wanted to be self-employed.  I was baffled and thought she’s crazy.  Then I thought, hmm …what if? 

I explored it, researched it, planned it and did it!  That was 20 years ago and I never looked back. She was right and it changed my life.  Thank you, Paulette Zimmerman, for that pearl of wisdom and I thank myself for thinking hmm… what if?

What advice would you give graduating seniors from high school, tech. school, and college?

I’ll start the list and ask that you add your advice below in the comments field.

• Learn as much as you can — everywhere you can. You never know what will become a pearl!
• Build fun and responsibility into your life starting today.
• Associate with people of all ages – your age, older, and younger. Pearls of wisdom are hidden in others’ experiences.
• Create your life with vision, persistence, patience, and the disciplined action to get there.

Now it’s on to my next hmm… what if? 

Update on this post: A couple of days after I wrote this article, I found an article in USA Today by Alan Webber, entitled “Hey, Grads, It’s Time to Write New Rules”.   He straight out says never stop learning.   He has published a book with many more rules called Rules of Thumb: 52 Truths for Winning at Business Without Losing Yourself. 

Parents, the book might be a great family read and discussion to mentor your teens and college grads into adult life! 

If you wish to share this info on other blogs and websites, please credit this URL.  I welcome your additions to the advice list in the comments field below and welcome your tweets at http://twitter.com/KateNasser.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom.

Many thanks for your pearls,

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach