leaders

Your Identity: #Peopleskills Twitter Chat on How You Impact Others

WHEN: Join us Sunday March 9, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time. Here in the USA, we switch to daylight savings time this weekend, March 9th. We move our clocks ahead one hour. So 10am EDT is the equivalent of 9am EST. Our chat begins at 10am EDT.



Background on This People Skills Twitter Chat

I’ve always loved Walt Whitman’s poem “O Me! O Life!” in which he asks basically what good are we in life.

His answer: “That you are here — that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.” What is your identity? What verse will you contribute to human interaction? How will the powerful play go on because of you?

Join us March 9, 2014, 10am EDT in #peopleskills Twitter chat to explore how identity contributes to the powerful play of human interaction.

Joining me as co-host is Dr. Hoda Maalouf, university professor with an incredible passion for human development, learning, and a peaceful world.



Your Identity: People skills logo

Impact of Identity: People Skills Chat March 9th, 2014. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


The Impact of Your Identity: Explore in People Skills Twitter Chat

What does each of us contribute to human interaction? Do we think about our identity and then live our actions from there? What verse do we want to contribute to life on this earth?

Join our global people skills Twitter chat (#Peopleskills) this Sunday March 9th at 10am EDT. Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • How is mindfulness involved in our people skills identity?
  • For what ONE people skills trait would you like to be known?
  • How do others see you?
  • Where has your identity and your people skills taken you in this life thus far?
  • How have your hopes, dreams, values fashioned your people skills identity and contribution to this life?
  • What song, saying, book title, poem, play, or movie best describes your identity?
  • What verse will you contribute to the ‘powerful play of life’?



These are just some questions to get us thinking before we begin. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join me, my co-host @MaaHoda, and the people skills global chat community this Sunday March 9th, 2014, 10am EDT on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to explore The Impact of Your Identity.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

Thank you Hoda Maalouf, for co-hosting this people skills chat on “Impact of Identity”.

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter, hashtag #peopleskills, Google+, and LinkedIn. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your individual insights.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Twitter Chat (#peopleskills) this Sunday March 9, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to explore the impact of your identity.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. March 9, 2014, 10am EDT in people skills global Twitter chat to explore “The Impact of Your Identity”.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership Sincerity: Sincerely Yours or Powerfully Yours?


Very few people want passive aggressive leaders. It’s frustrating, confusing, perhaps even maddening. We want them to, say what they mean and mean what they say! Right? Engage in leadership sincerity and authenticity.

Yet how can leaders say what they mean and mean what they say without the risk of being derisive, rude, and disrespectful? Anyone can authentically and selfishly blast out their candor. That’s weak-willed bullying. No one wants that.

The answer is simple. Leadership sincerity! It is honesty delivered with civility. It is courage, humility, and respect in magnetic balance. It draws everyone in. It energizes thought, engagement, and contribution. It is sincerely yours.


Leadership Sincerity: Image is stone w/ words sincerity humility courage.

Leadership Sincerity: Are You Leading w/ Honesty & Civility? Image by mstephens7 via Flickr.

Image by mstephens7 via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Leadership Sincerity: Sincerely Yours Not Powerfully Yours

Leaders, which message do you want your words and actions to communicate: sincerely yours or powerfully yours? What’s the difference? In either case, you can be honest and authentic. Well the effect is quite different. Sincerely yours sustains everyone’s morale and momentum. Powerfully yours, breeds power struggles and saps commitment.

Try sincerely yours to be authentic without being obnoxious…

  • Communicate with honesty and civility.

    Prepare with honesty. Deliver with civility. Honesty is what you are say and civility is how you say it. Civility doesn’t weaken the authenticity of the message. It helps everyone to hear it with less resistance. Since they don’t feel insulted or attacked, they listen to your message vs. detouring to escape it.


  • Be confident in your message and humble in delivering it.

    Humility and civility make even tough honesty palatable. Recently, I had to remind a people skills community member not to post messages on the community page selling her company’s products and services. I explained the guideline, the reason, and suggested she do as I do — place product information on her own social media page. Even though I started the community, I hold myself to the same standard.


  • Reach ‘em don’t preach ‘em.

    Before you speak, ask yourself if you are preaching to them or reaching them. Preaching has the sub-message, “I know more than you.” Reaching out respects others while communicating honestly. If you’re not sure which way you come across, ask for feedback. You can also watch how often you deliver negative messages vs. positive ones. If you communicate the negative far more often, your mindset may be in preach mode. Leadership sincerity is the big picture of truth not just what troubles you.


  • Separate facts from feelings.

    Sometimes leaders justify their candor as sincerity and authenticity. Yet candor has feelings masquerading as facts. As a result, it can insult and disrespect others. Honesty separates facts from feelings. For example, when an employee complains more than once, the response “stop whining” communicates your candid feelings. Yet it is not leadership sincerity. It is patronizing. Worse, it is derisive. Far better to find out what solutions the employee suggests to fix the situation. If those are not feasible, simply state the facts. It’s authentic not offensive.


  • Rise about your personal preferences.

    It lessens the mini-me syndrome and honors diversity. Become very self-aware. Know your personality type, your change orientation, and your learning style. Then ensure you don’t demand that everyone be like you. It prevents your authenticity from becoming domineering self-absorption.

    Consider the situation where someone you promoted to manager is creating terrible unrest. You initially think, change always creates dissatisfaction. Yet more than one employee comes to you with serious examples of this person’s incompetence. Do you authentically show them your anger? Do you tell them, “Enough. I promoted this person and that’s it!” It is powerfully yours.

    Yet, it isn’t great leadership sincerity. Take in the feedback. Ponder it. Move beyond your annoyance over their questioning your judgment. If you communicate from power be ready for a power failure. Seek the whole truth.


  • Be likeable without constantly seeking to be liked.

    Be likeable by delivering every message with civility. Don’t avoid conflict just to be liked. If you seek to be liked at every moment, you may avoid important conversations. It can anger employees who must endlessly tolerate bad situations you won’t address. For example, if there is an employee with a very bad attitude, speak honestly to this person. Leadership sincerity shows courage and respect.



Leadership sincerity is far more than, say what you mean and mean what you say. It is considering both what you say and how you say it. Use honesty with courage, humility, and respect. It far outshines just plain candor.


How has great leadership sincerity helped you?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
What’s So Hot About Humility, Anyway?
Leaders, Avoid These 8 People Skills Mistakes
Leaders, How Long Do You Coach a Bad Attitude?

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.



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Join me through these social channelsEngage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

The value of great people skills in business is well established. People skills are the language of connection for employee engagement, customer experience, leadership, and teamwork.

Whether you call it interpersonal skills, soft skills, emotional intelligence, or people skills — the singular goal is to transcend differences for a positive result.

People skills brilliance blooms from self-awareness and generosity. The blunders tumble out of moments of fear and short-sightedness. The happy news is that the 8 common causes of people skills mistakes are easily avoidable.


People Skills Mistakes: Image is Someone Falling

People Skills: Avoid Tumbling into Common Mistakes Image by:WorldOfOddy

Image by WOrld of Oddy via Flickr Creative Commons License.

The 8 Common Causes of People Skills Mistakes

As The People Skills Coach™, I see brilliance and blunders in the leaders and teams I coach and train. Here are the 8 common blunders you can replace with brilliance.

  • Thinking you must choose between civility and honesty. I continue to read blog posts and see leaders make this needless mistake. Civility is how you deliver your honesty. It’s not a choice between civility and honesty. Good manners do not stop success. Alternative: Deliver honesty with civility not bluntness with emotion.

  • Confusing good judgment and judgmentalism. Good judgment is born of different experiences. It can bring valuable debate, innovation, and success. Judging people (judgmentalism) degrades others and blocks opportunities for success. Alternative: See each person as a possibility for a team win.

  • Forgetting or denying that every conversation communicates and creates emotion. People skills blunders abound in those who focus purely on their own message and never on honoring other people. People skills brilliance lies in the awareness of how actions impact others and in the generosity to adapt. Stay on the right road: Speed success by honoring others. Avoid the detour to the land of disrespect.

  • Fear of losing. When people fear losing and focus only on winning, ironically they often lose. Fear widens the gap between people. People skills tumble as fear driven behavior comes across as selfish and inconsiderate. The chance for engagement, support, and mutual agreement is slim. Alternative: Become self-aware. Spot and stop fears from driving your behavior.

  • Mistaking listening and adapting for surrender. Picture a happy boorish clod who never listens or considers others’ needs. When I asked about the behavior, he replied, “The world belongs to those who don’t surrender.” Attention everyone, the world belongs to those who can interact, influence, and create a win for all.

  • Focusing on the stressful moment rather than a desirable outcome. Differences can cause stress. They don’t have to derail people skills and the favorable outcome. Focus tip: When the stressful feelings surface remember your options and choose wisely.

  • Believing that confidence and humility cannot co-exist. Regardless of personality type, a person can be both confident in their message and humble in delivering it. Key thought: Humility is flexible and open to learning and that delivers success.

  • Clinging to a comfort zone. The greater the craving for self-comfort, the greater the risk of people skills mistakes. The comfort zones of personality type, cultural background, educational level, and occupational focus, are ripe for people skills blunders. Gentle reminder: The comfort zone is full of sitting ducks — not as safe as it feels!



The Heart of the Matter: Adapt and close the gap to reap the benefits of exceptional people skills.



Question: What people skills brilliance or blunders have you experienced?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Pleasures That Calm When Dealing With Toxic People
Humility in Leadership: Myths, Fears, and Truths on Todd Nielsen blog.
7 Steps from Brutally Blunt to Helpfully Honest


©2012-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels.

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership Challenge: Coaching a Bad Employee Attitude


Business success in any size enterprise depends on positive can-do attitudes. It is also weakened and destabilized by just one bad attitude. The leadership challenge is how long do you coach a bad attitude?


Leadership Challenge: Words Good Best Best

Leadership Challenge: Coach a Bad Attitude?

Image licensed via Istock.com

Leadership Challenge: Does One Negative Attitude Mean You’re a Bad Leader?

Some leaders and managers make it their ultimate goal to transform the one employee with the bad attitude. They believe that their leadership challenge is to change that one employee’s attitude from negative to positive.

Once such manager recently asked me, “how long do you work on the bad morale of a negative employee?” This manager had been trying for six months with no change. I replied, never! You cannot work on someone else’s morale. People choose and own their individual attitudes.

The true leadership challenge is how to inspire employees with basically positive attitudes to reach the heights of success. It isn’t to coach a bad attitude.



The latter is a waste of time and money. The team members who bring a positive can-do attitude use your inspiration to magnify success. An employee with a bad attitude uses you and team members to live their negative life choice.


Coaching a bad attitude means you are spending time on their mission instead of the mission of the organization. It drains other team members’ morale. Often they leave to escape the stress. They blame the leader for not stopping the endless negativity of the one employee. Then the leadership challenge becomes the desperate attempt to keep the great talent in house!


Are you surprised to hear me, The People Skills Coach™, say don’t coach a bad attitude?



Well, what do I mean by a bad attitude? I am not speaking about an employee who offers a different view, contributes alternate solutions, or is having an occasional bad day. 


A employee with a bad attitude is consistently unmotivated, rarely offers to help, is constantly negative, analyzes but doesn’t deliver, and refuses to work with necessary constraints.


If you find yourself thinking, but this negative employee …

  • Just needs more time to develop a positive attitude
  • Will come around eventually
  • Is still recovering from the previous bad boss
  • Is having a rough year
  • Is young and immature
  • Is good in a crisis

you are not meeting your leadership challenge. You are experiencing denial and delay.

Positive attitudes do not develop over time. As long as you are exhibiting good leadership, the employee must choose to forget the last boss and give you a new chance. Youth and negativity are not inherently connected. Lastly, people who are good in a crisis do not bring everyone else down in normal situations.

Ask yourself, how does upper management define the leadership challenge? Would upper management be swayed by the above list when trying to assess the value of your organization? Or would they ask you to calculate the cost of having employees who don’t use positive attitudes to deliver great results?



Leaders, if you struggle with the idea of expecting a positive attitude, ask yourself why? Do you …

  • Want to be liked by each employee more than you want to inspire the whole team
  • Fear the necessary conversation about a bad attitude
  • Believe you have the power to change people
  • Believe that expecting and requiring a positive attitude means you are a tyrant
  • Feel bad about yourself if an employee has a bad attitude toward the job
  • Believe that positive employees won’t want to work in your organization

I see this trend among certain personality types, managers who are leading their former peers, and leaders who replaced a rough demoralizing micro-manager.

Break your own cycle. Consider what positive can-do team members do …

  • Offer realistic solutions to fix frustrating/difficult situations they don’t like.
  • Own their occasional bad day.  When they ask for help, they try the suggestions you offer vs. negating your ideas and continuing to complain.
  • Learn from many situations – the good and the bad – instead of complaining about them.
  • Take action and collaborate to deliver success.



Now picture what you will expect of everyone. A positive attitude to create business success now. Remember, someone who is capable of choosing a positive attitude can choose it now.  An employee who had a dictatorial boss before could be thrilled by a chance to work with a better leader now.  Young employees can be positive about the possibilities that lie ahead. Team members who are positive in a crisis have the mental strength to choose a positive attitude everyday.


Get back on track. Focus on the true leadership challenge of inspiring great results. Expect a positive attitude and inspire the possibilities that come from it!

  • Foster an active learning culture.
  • Feature team successes and lessons learned.
  • Ask for solutions; don’t just give them.
  • Recognize innovative thought, outstanding effort, commitment, and action.
  • Express your appreciation at the end of the week for tough situations handled well.
  • Let no one disillusion or distract you and the team from the leadership challenge and organization mission.



Positive attitudes don’t deny the difficulties the team faces. They are the very fuel for overcoming obstacles. Create an environment for a positive can-do attitude and then expect it from everyone!


What other actions do you recommend to create an environment for a can-do attitude?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Invitation:
I invite you to connect with me on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. I welcome your questions. I will respond with inspiration and practical tips!

Related Post:
Leaders, A Great Employee Attitude is Essential Not Negotiable

©2011-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

Career Success: Rock It w/These 13 Key People Skills Tips


Career Success: Image is a key w/ heart shaped at tend.

Career Success: 13 Keys to Rock It! Image licensed from Istock.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com

13 Key People Skills Tips for Your Career Success


  1. Give empathy freely. Empathy is not just for troublesome or sad moments. It is connection of understanding that starts it all! Empathy doesn’t mean you agree. It means “you matter, this matters, we matter, let’s work together to achieve.”

  2. Give more. Defend less. Engage. Don’t look for ins and outs. You become a leader’s go to person. You will be the customers’ preferred pick. Your attitude of ownership attracts co-workers and many career opportunities.

  3. Give before you take. Giving builds trust. It frames taking in a positive light.

  4. Show confidence not arrogance. Connect confidence with learning. When your confidence welcomes learning it stops you from seeming arrogant. Confident learning beats confidence.

  5. Provide and respect choices. “May I explain?” is far more respectful of others than “Let me explain something to you.” The first honors others’ choice to say no. The second traps and demeans them.

  6. Question without threatening. Everyone wants to feel respected. “Why aren’t you using social media?” sounds critical and puts others on the defense. “I see you aren’t using social media. I’m interested to hear why..” discovers with an open mind.

  7. Illustrate a thick skin and a warm heart. When you overlook people’s faux pas and reduce how many you make, you become the person everyone wants to work with. It is the people skills glue in career success.

  8. Hear the need not the accusation. Career success soars when you can hear the needs behind people’s anger, outbursts, and accusations. You will solve the problems that defuse the emotion. Your leadership potential shines.

  9. Be open-minded not indecisive. Considering many possibilities is a workplace talent. It can feed your career success as long as you don’t insist others spin endlessly and miss the mark.

  10. Get the whole story instead of editing the picture. It shows interest and prevents misunderstandings and bad decisions.

  11. Communicate with continuity. Continuity is connective and appealing. Sudden fits and starts are unsettling. When you communicate, provide others with some background. Reference a previous discussion. Avoid the helicopter syndrome where you take off and land and take off again while others wonder why you were there!

  12. Speak positively not negatively; forward not back. “You should have” is a killer phrase that will sink your relationships with others. “Next time” has far more potential. Of course what follows must not patronize.

  13. Think of teamwork as joining in not giving in. If you see cooperation and positive interaction as surrender, it will hinder your career success. The ability to work with others is one of the most desired workplace people skills. It is the path to career success.

People skills make your occupational skills valuable to others. As I work passionately with others to turn their interaction obstacles into business success, my learning continues. So tell me …


Where and when have people skills most helped you rock career success?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

I invite you to connect with me on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. I welcome your interaction and questions and am happy to offer you help and ideas!

Related Career Success Posts:
Professional People Skills to Show Your Change-Ability
25 Incredibly Valuable Things to Be at Work

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

Leadership: New Insights on Optimism and Pollyanna

 

Leadership: Image is cracked egg still smiling.

Leadership: Choose the Positive Pollyanna Image by Kat via Flickr.


Over the years several leaders have told me that they wouldn’t promote someone who had a Pollyanna  attitude.  It was one of those leadership labels that spoke volumes. Their disdain was clear. They were describing optimism as unrealistic and naive.


Because leadership today focuses on positive thinking, I decided to watch the movie Pollyanna to see how this supposedly optimistic label earned such disdain.


I expected Pollyanna to be a foolish character that was out of touch with reality. I pictured being bored and reaching for the stop button. 


Instead I saw a passionate change agent who spoke up to people regardless of their age, position. and disposition.  Pollyanna was very much in touch with reality!  


When someone told a lie, she called them on it. She also knew when to be polite yet summoned the courage to assert the positive to ardent pessimists. She alone turned around negative Mrs. Snow who spent hours picking out a coffin despite her good health.  

Pollyanna minced no words after one of Mrs. Snow’s long complaints …

    “You could be glad you’re not dying. You could be helping others. Forget about dying and be glad you’re living.”



Pollyanna’s father had used this glad game approach to sustain his daughter during tough times. They were poor and life was difficult. His leadership molded her view of everyday life. Now as an orphan she displayed his leadership principles.


So why is the Pollyanna character so often maligned?  

Is it because …

  • Leaders are afraid that too much focus on the positive will lead to denial and failure?
  • Traditional leaders define leadership as finding all the threats? Is it that they see little value in highlighting the positive?
  • Pessimists crave the negative so much that they’re driven to twist every positive into a negative?


Leadership: Why We Need the Real Pollyannas

  • They live gratitude in their core. It sustains their will and prevents complacency.
  • They model resilience. It breeds a self-sustaining culture.
  • They are both empathetic AND forthright. It nourishes morale and productivity.
  • They are motivated and inspired. It inspires others.
  • They initiate change and innovation. It overcomes the comfort of complaining.


Shall we look for the positive? After all, “when you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you most surely will.” ~Abraham Lincoln


My advice to leaders is, see the reality and lead with can-do optimism.

Go ahead, promote employees that can be forthright and polite. Applaud the resilient employees who raise both concerns and solutions instead of getting stuck in complaints. Foster courage to question the status quo and the insight to clearly assess the risks.

    Increase productivity through shared optimism.
    Develop a culture of creative innovation through can-do commitment.
    Lead change in the face of many pessimists and change resisters.
    Hire and promote true Pollyannas. They are grateful and hardy not apathetic and disillusioned. They improvise and overcome to reach success. They are the resilient workforce you dream of. They live in service to others and to the positive result.



There is no need to choose between reality and optimism. Optimism sees both the current reality and future possibilities. It’s a marriage of success.


How do you develop your employees’ ability to lead with optimism?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Connect with me on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. I welcome interaction and am glad to share insights and tips on your people skills challenges!

Related Posts:
Leadership Optimism: Dreaming, Denial, or Discovery
Leadership People Skills: Achieve Vision Through Values vs Ultimatums
Leaders, 10 Essential Thoughts to Proficient People Skills

Grateful for image by Kat via Flickr Creative Commons License.

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

Leadership People Skills: Consistent High Quality Outshines Uniformity

I teach that the challenge of excellence is consistency. It is very interesting to me that leaders sometimes interpret this as uniformity. There is a big difference!


Leadership People Skills: Image is multicolored molecule.

Leadership People Skills: Seek Consistency Not Uniformity

Gratitude for image by net_efekt via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Consistency for excellence requires adapting to people and situations. The goal is an excellent outcome each time. The path is far from uniform. Uniformity is sameness. It assumes that the same path will produce an excellent result regardless of the people and situations.

 

Great leadership seeks excellent results through outstanding interactions!

 

Great leadership people skills use diversity to achieve this.



Uniformity feels secure. It is quite risky!

  • It alienates personality types different from yours. This reduces collaboration, employee engagement, and the results you could achieve by diverse approaches.
  • It stops you from delivering superior customer experience. Customers expect ease and flexibility not your uniform rules and regulations they must follow.
  • When you must lead change in your organization, a culture of uniformity slows change. You might think if would speed change as everyone falls into line. People who work in and through diversity every day are practicing their change ability. This helps you lead change!



Leadership People Skills – 3 Temptations for Uniformity

In this 3 min leadership people skills video, I offer 3 reasons why leaders and managers are tempted to seek uniformity. This awareness provides you a better path. Add your thoughts in the comments section below!




Don’t let your leadership people skills be trapped by the comfort of uniformity. Seek consistently excellent results through diverse paths, people, and talents. Results through employee engagement and with customers will soar!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Leadership People Skills: Achieve Vision Through Values Not Ultimatums
Leadership, 5 Simple Moves to Engage Employees

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

Superior Customer Experience: Succeed Through Empathy.

 

Superior Customer Experience: Image is letter A+

Superior Customer Experience: Power of Empathy Image by SalFalco.

Gratitude for image by Sal Falco via Flickr Creative Commons License


When you think of superior customer experience, do you think of empathy?  Many people think of empathy mostly as something to relieve painful moments.

 

The truth is that empathy also prevents painful moments. It establishes and celebrates connections. It creates outstanding experiences.

 

You deliver superior customer experience through empathy!

 

Superior Customer Experience: The Power of Empathy

When we think and act from the customer’s perspective, we are using the power of empathy. We are building bonds for success.

  • Empathy opens listening. Stepping outside of our own perspective through empathy, puts us in listening mode. This triggers the customer’s listening as well. BAM! Bonds for superior customer experience.

  • Empathy allows us to make it easy for the customer. When we design websites with empathy for the customers’ perspectives, we make it easy for them to buy from us. BAM! Easy is a big part of superior customer experience.

  • Empathy is the messenger of care. Every time customers interact with us, our words and actions must say “we care about you”. Empathy is that messenger. BAM! Care brings customers back because it delivers superior customer experience.

  • Empathy engages employees to deliver the best. Empathetic leaders inspire team members to be empathetic with customers. These leaders build a culture of care and model it to engage everyone to superior customer experience!

  • Empathy strengthens teamwork. Superior customer experience requires great cross teamwork through the company. When teams engage in empathy and see each others’ views, they can deliver that wonderful seamless trouble free experience every customer wants.


What threatens empathy? The myth that empathy means agreement. It doesn’t! Empathy means: “You matter. We matter. This matters. Let’s collaborate.”


If we think that empathy means agreement, we block our empathy when we don’t agree with someone. We stop listening and so do they. We actually create difficult moments — the opposite of superior customer experience. When we block our empathy, we block our influence.


When we consider others’ views before responding, we are using the power of empathy. When we think of the impact of our actions before making decisions, we are using the power of empathy.


Empathy is the applause for shared interests. It draws people together for infinite possibilities and bonds for tremendous success. It opens two-way listening and the doors to great partnerships.


Empathy is the engine of superior customer experience!


Will you offer examples of how empathy delivered superior customer experience in your life?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Post:
People Skills: Empathize Before You Analyze

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

Superior Customer Experience: Fluency Requires 100% Listening


In part one of this series, I told a true story of how good customer experience turned bad because the business wasn’t listening to the customer. That large corporation missed out on valuable no-cost suggestions that would deliver superior customer experience.


There are none so stuck as those who will not hear. Don’t be one of them! Have your entire organization become and stay fluent in what the customer is saying.


Superior Customer Experience: Image is many ears.

Superior Customer Experience: Feedback Fluency Part II Image by KY_Olsen.

Gratitude for image to KY_Olsen via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Critical Listening Beliefs for Superior Customer Experience

It takes specific organizational beliefs to get all employees to listen to the customer.

  1. Customer feedback keeps the business alive. Although this may sound obvious, there are many businesses that don’t believe this. They write off suggested improvements as customer whimsy or a one-off opinion. Leaders must state and model that listening to the customer keeps the business alive. It delivers superior customer experience.

  2. All employees, regardless of title, can share customer feedback throughout the business. Silos, territories, politics stop employees from listening to the customer. They live within their job descriptions and the business loses out on no-cost opportunities for superior customer experience.

  3. Every employee is a customer advocate. If they aren’t, then your culture is not customer centric. It is company centric. How will you survive the new competitor who is listening to your customers?

  4. We aren’t here to maintain the present. We are here to create the future. Many employees who are not in the research and development part of your business don’t know this. Thus when the customer offers feedback for a superior customer experience, their minds tell them it’s not their job. We listen to whatever our minds tells us is important. Leaders must reinforce that it’s everyone’s job to listen to create the future.


Leadership Actions for Superior Customer Experience

As you develop the critical beliefs, take actions to support them. Else the beliefs simply become noise and blather that employees block out.

  • Engage employees opinions for improvements. Ask employees what the customers are saying. Actions speak louder than words and this action inspires employees to listen for customer feedback!

  • Have mechanisms for sharing feedback easily throughout the company. This is vital. Listening to the feedback is the first step. Sharing it facilitates superior customer feedback. Technology makes this sharing possible even in large organizations.

  • Encourage curiosity and teach all employees to ask great questions. What is the customer saying in a broader perspective? How can the feedback benefit our company and future customer experience? How can we reduce instances of the negative experience that spurred this feedback? How can we create superior customer experience from even the simplest suggestion?

    Be curious about how the feedback can be valuable! Customer feedback flops when employees are listening literally or defensively.


  • Stop reprisals on employees who highlight problems and solutions. If employees are punished for highlighting what needs to improve for superior customer experience, they won’t do it. Even when the top leaders model the critical beliefs noted above, managers sometimes take action against employees who highlight needed improvements. These managers mistake suggested improvements as an accusation of their managerial failure. Leaders, make sure you know what your managers are doing. Superior customer experience comes from inspired, engaged, empowered employees.



Get everyone listening to the customer. Break down the silos. Allow all to hear and use the free feedback for superior customer experience.

It’s a matter of today’s profitability and the company’s longevity. Companies go out of business when the customers’ needs and wants change and the company doesn’t!



What successes have you had getting real time customer feedback and using it to deliver superior customer experience?




From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Customer Experience Leaders, Remove the Never Ever Rules
6 People Skills Essentials to Seeing Others’ Views
Superior Customer Experience: Above & Beyond Question

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

Leaders, people skills are critical to success. Yet in a demanding business pace, people skills are often last on the learning list.

Luckily leaders and teams can build proficient people skills while attending to critical business. The proficiency starts with attitude and flows into people skills behavior!


People Skills: Image is Light Bulb

Leaders, 12 Essential Thoughts to Proficient People Skills Image by:Sean MacEntee

Image by: Sean MacEntee via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Proficient People Skills: Hold and Use These 12 Thoughts


  1. An open mind creates phenomenal results.

    Most people feel respected, honored, and uplifted by an open mind. Both in output and in morale, it produces positive results. There are some exceptions yet overall it is a winning thought. Build proficient people skills from an open mind.


  2. Cultural awareness strengthens people skills and results.

    We are global while local. Technology connects us yet we must be able to build upon that. Would you want to reconnect with people who showed no awareness of your world? Strengthen the proficiency of your people skills through learning about different cultures.


  3. Personal integrity gives you tremendous influence.

    When you own your mistakes, offer apologies with no excuses, and constantly improve your self-awareness, your people skills will naturally shine.


  4. Teams strengthen a leader’s reality.

    When we remember that our vision, understanding, and experience gains momentum with a team’s perspective, we are more likely to respect their input and collaboration. Build proficient people skills from this awareness.


  5. Understanding people leads to influence.

    Most leadership is actually influence in action. To effectively influence others — team members, customers, and even your boss — understand what they care about. Knowledge of others builds proficient people skills.


  6. Know when your people skills naturally shine.

    Complete this sentence: I am best at people skills when ____________________________. Identify when you usually interact well with others. Is it when you are happy? Confident? Relieved? Celebrating? Respected? In need? In difficulty? When is it? Capture what you do during these times and apply it across the board. Your natural pattern can build proficient people skills.


  7. People skills deliver in tough times.

    Contrary to popular belief, people skills are not a sign of weakness. In tough times you can draw on the good will you have built through people skills to deliver otherwise unachievable results. “Because of our long standing relationship, I’ll do it for you.” That’s an homage to your great people skills!


  8. People skills are not just for extroverts.

    If you are more introverted than extroverted, repaint the image you have about people skills. It is not about gregarious, outspoken, high energy behavior. People skills is stepping outside of your own perspective to understand and interact effectively with others. High extroverts have just as much adaptation to make as introverts. Both can succeed if they seek to understand.


  9. Bonds are not bondage.

    Many leaders having a driver personality crave end results not relationships. In fact, many believe that bonds with others are a detour to success and a trap that stops them just short of the finish line. Yet unless these leaders truly do everything themselves to reach success, bonds with others are the road to the finish line. Knowing the difference between bonds and bondage builds proficient people skills.


  10. Finding fault stops progress; finding solutions ignites success.

    One of the riskiest people skills moments for leaders is during a crisis or failure. That trigger voice that says: “Who’s at fault?” can bury future collaboration forever. Great people skills can guide the organization back to success and to a culture of accountability. A focus on success, not blame, can build proficient people skills.


  11. If you overlook team problems, success overlooks your teams.

    Morale matters. It impacts results. Team member people skills affect morale of the team and the results of the organization. “They are not children. Let them work it out themselves.” These beliefs cost the organization money and sacrifice success. Accept the truth about morale and you build proficient people skills.


  12. Get over being comfortable; get versatile.

    Global business success requires constant growth which means the discomfort of change. Focus on the versatility that people skills bring to your success and you will build proficient people skills!



Thoughts drive behavior and create a chain of reactions. Hold these thoughts about people skills and build valuable bonds that strengthen results.


Which of these thoughts rings strongest to you? Or would you add to or delete something from this list?



From professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Related Posts:
Leaders, 10 Ways to Ignite Greatness Without Leaving Scars
3 Moments When Your People Skills Can Fail & How to Avoid That

©2011-13 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please first email info@katenasser.com for terms of use. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, customer service, customer experience, and teamwork. She turns interaction obstacles into business success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

Leadership People Skills: Vision & Values Not Ultimatums
 

Leadership People Skills: Image is 3 Gold Rings Connected

Leadership People Skills: Respect, Honor, Engage. Image via Istock.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com


We applaud leaders with strong clear vision. We applaud them if they can communicate it in a way that respects, engages, and influences others vs. browbeating them.

We disengage from leaders with poor leadership people skills no matter how incredible the vision. The vision then slows, fades, or dies altogether.

 

Leadership people skills aren’t fluff!

They are the expression of values vs. ultimatums.

They respect, honor, and engage people to realize the vision.


Leadership People Skills: What Threatens Their Greatness?

Today’s leaders have embraced leadership people skills as critical to success. Many realize the importance of emotional intelligence and social acumen to engage others. They are working to find the balance between their commitment for their vision AND engaging others to commit.


Here’s what can trip up great leadership people skills:

  1. Unshared Values.
  2. Without shared values, what connects people? Sometimes dire need and life/death situations bind people together. Yet beyond true crises, absence of shared values is a huge void that disengages. A common goal is not enough!

    Leaders, what values do you and your employees or constituents share? If you can’t easily answer that, make this a priority. Else it will plague every interaction and slow results.


  3. Feeling Trapped.
  4. When leaders feel trapped in tough moments, they often resort to combative negative replies. It’s a common human response. When Governor Chris Christie of NJ was making reforms to the public schools, one unhappy constituent asked him “Where do your kids go to school?” His reply: None of your business where they go to school. (His children go to parochial schools.) His reply was most likely driven by the “uh oh” moment. Trapped in a possible contradiction.

    Avoid the trap by using a basic tenet, empathize before you analyze. It stops the negative response. In this example, his response would be something like: “I can see that these reforms are tough right now. I know they will lead to better education through a sound financial base. As a Catholic, I choose to send my kids to parochial school. As governor, I work toward better education for everyone.” Leadership people skills allow you to overcome the trap of anger by giving empathy. Clear thinking flows from there.


  5. High Need for Control.
  6. The stronger the need for control, the greater the chance your leadership people skills will suffer. Fear of sharing power stops listening and that disengages others. It brings leaders to mistake listening for capitulation. Listening is the pathway to engaging others. Basic logic: With listening you see how others think. With this information, you can inspire, influence, and increase commitment to your vision.

    Leaders, replace the need to be right with the success of influence!



Take some time and answer these two questions:

  • When do my leadership people skills naturally shine?
  • When do they fail me, the people I lead, and the vision?



Note how you respond in the good times. You can apply your natural pattern to most situations. You need only be aware of what triggers your outbursts and ultimatums. Replace those responses with empathy for those involved and insight to influence them.


Outstanding leadership people skills are not fluff! They respect, honor, and engage everyone to reach the vision.


What examples of outstanding leadership people skills would you like to share here?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Leaders, 10 Essential Thoughts to Proficient People Skills
12 Most Beneficial People Skills to Succeed When You Have Little Power

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

Customer Value: 6 Amazing Things Customers Do!

Customer Value: Image is Gold Gift Box

Customer Value Beyond the Dollar Image via Istock.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com


We often think of the value we provide to customers. Now as I celebrate my 25th year as an entrepreneur, I am reflecting on the value customers bring to my business. It is far beyond the dollar!


Leaders, it pays to both reflect on this AND develop this awareness with your employees. Many who are not directly generating revenue, think about their own hard work not the customers’ world. They often don’t see the customers’ contributions beyond the dollar and the true customer value.


Customer Value Beyond the Dollar

Employees often feel the strain of meeting customers’ expectations. This clouds the view of customer value. Let’s clear the fog and look at the amazing things customers do — so we can see the true customer value!

  1. They give trust.

    Customers have a need. They must reach out to fill it. They courageously overcome doubts and place their and confidence in a company. How valuable is trust? Amazingly valuable. Witness the companies who claim they are they are the most trusted brand in their industry, their country, or the world?


  2. They generate trust.

    The number one challenge is to earn a customer’s trust. The customers that get others to trust us are building the business. This is true customer value. Honor their trust.


  3. They spark innovation.

    Customers changing needs and high expectations spur development. They evolve a brand through their demands. They keep the business alive. This is true customer value! Feed them in return.


  4. They teach.

    Consumers are a wealth of knowledge about people and business customers teach suppliers about their industry. Knowledge is the gift that keeps on giving. This is true customer value. Thank them for the learning.


  5. They blow our horn.

    They proclaim our value. This is true customer value. Honor our trumpeters.


  6. They offer limitless potential.

    Customers are a gold mine of opportunities, connections, partnerships, and growth. This is true customer value. Mine for this gold.


What would you add to this customer value list?


It’s important. An understanding of true customer value inspires employees far better than the tired old adage: “The customer’s always right.” It replaces the one-sided picture with a dynamic partnership between customers and the company.

Thank you, my customers, for all the value you’ve given to my business over the past 25 years. I continue to serve you for many many years to come!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Customer Service 21 Tips: Customers Want it Easy & Valuable

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

People Skills Twitter Chat TOPIC: People Skills to Get Promoted at Work Hashtag: #peopleskills

WHEN: Sunday Oct. 13, 2013 10AM EDT.

Here’s a time converter to assist all of you around the globe in converting 10am EDT to your local time.

Background on This Chat Topic

After many decades of focus primarily on occupational skills, people skills are now considered vital at work. Most everyone values people skills in their peers and colleagues. It makes for easy interaction.

They key questions is: Do leaders value people skills when deciding whom they will promote?


People Skills Twitter Chat Logo

People Skills Twitter Chat Oct. 13, 2013 TOPIC: #Peopleskills to Get Promoted.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Join People Skills Twitter Chat Sun. Oct. 13, 2013 10am EDT.

This people skills chat topic was suggested by Hoda Maalouf, PhD, associate professor, lecturer, department chair, and student adviser.

I think Hoda has suggested a topic that everyone thinks about and it will make for a valuable and lively chat. As soon as she suggested it, my mind started to wonder …

  • Are the people skills for work promotion different in various cultures? Or has the global focus minimized differences?
  • What people skills do we most value in our peers? Do you want different people skills from our leaders?
  • How has the definition of leader changed over the years and what impact has that had on people skills required for leadership?
  • What people skills must we learn and use to get promoted at work?
  • What role does gender play in how we define great people skills needed to earn a promotion?



These are just a few questions to get us thinking before we begin the people skills chat this Sunday! Actual questions will post during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, all your experience, lots of curiosity, and your favorite beverage, and join us from around the globe this Sunday in the USA — Oct. 13, 2013 at 10am EDT — to explore: People Skills Needed to Get Promoted!


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community to be a part of all the people skills discussions not just on Sundays but everyday 24×7. If LinkedIn is your favorite social media platform, join us in our growing LinkedIn group: People Skills Succeed.



Shout Out of Gratitude

A huge thanks Hoda Maalouf for this week’s topic. I am also very grateful to all those who participate each week and expand our understanding and view of people skills. Finally, a warm thank you to all who have suggested topics and co-hosted. I welcome new topic ideas and co-hosts as well!






Hope you will all join in the #PeopleSkills Twitter chat to explore People Skills to Get Promoted, this Sunday Oct. 13, 2013 10am EDT/7am PDT.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Twitter Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. Twubs will insert the hashtag automatically for you and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, OneQube, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sunday Oct. 13, 2013 10am EDT in #PeopleSkills Twitter Chat: People Skills to Get Promoted.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate invites you to also connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

Leadership: 5 Easy Shifts to Engage Employees in Tough Times
 

Leadership behaviors affect morale and results. In tough times, they have an even greater effect. Employees may already feel disheartened by conditions.

How leaders behave can uplift and engage employees or demoralize them even further. Don’t downshift employees’ morale.


Make these 5 simple and powerful shifts to engage employees especially during tough times.


Leadership: Image is 5 speed gear shift

Leadership: 5 Simple Moves to Engage Employees. Image by Travelling_Artist.

Image by Travelling_Artist via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Leadership: 5 Easy Shifts to Ignite Employee Commitment

The behavior of leaders and managers at all levels, including supervisors, team leads, and project managers, shapes culture and outcomes. Leaders who see their own behavior clearly and shift to engage employees transform results.


  1. Shift from Dreaming to Optimistic Realism.

    The idea leader, aka the dreamer or inventor, is priceless in start-up mode. In do more with less times, uncontrolled dreaming can drive employees mad. They already feel overwhelmed and under-achieved. More ideas and dreams bury them.

    Shift to optimistic realism and give employees the light of day. It ignites their commitment to tangible results.


  2. Shift from No Risk Taking to Courageous Action.

    Risk averse leaders trap themselves and others in perfectionism. Their “prove it before you do it” demand, handcuffs employees’ ability to produce. It strangles morale. In tough times, it can crush an organization’s success.

    Leadership must show the courage to succeed. Shift from fear of risk taking to courageous action. Lift everyone up to success.


  3. Shift from Addicted to Procedure to Results Focused.

    Leaders and managers at the middle and front line areas, often intensify their focus on procedures in tough times. It gives them a sense of security. However, addiction to procedure dis-empowers employees. They disengage as leaders harp on procedure instead of inspiring on vision.

    Standard operating procedure keeps everyone in the trouble of the present. Shift employees forward. Highlight the vision, the innovative path, and the focus on results.


  4. Shift from Having to Be Right to Open-Minded Learning.

    Humility, the confident search for knowledge and respect for others’ views and contributions, lifts everyone up. A leader’s insecurity and having to be right drains the employees’ spirit and strength.

    Practice humility in leadership. Shift from know-it-all behavior to generous open-minded learning. Watch all your employees respect your emotional intelligence. See them engage even in the toughest times.


  5. Shift from Bullying to Respectful Strength.

    Believe it or not, good leaders can temporarily slip into bullying behavior when their own fear takes over. It can happen in tough moments. Emotion conquers insight and wham … leaders bully. Bullying silences employees and shuts down initiative and engagement.

    Shift from emotional reactions to emotional self-awareness. If you are strong enough to bully, you strong enough to show respect.

    Take time at the beginning of the day to write down your emotional triggers. Note what scares you and what annoys you? Have employees do the same thing. Discuss these openly. You will shift from a culture of bullying to one of emotionally intelligent leadership and engagement.





Emotionally self-aware leaders are good at adapting.



They shift to bring out the best in others.



They engage employees’ commitment.




How are you doing? What tough moments do you want to pose here in the comments section? I’m here to help. Let’s explore together!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership Optimism: Dreaming, Denial, or Discovery
Employee Engagement: 10 Ways to Ignite Greatness Without Leaving Scars
Leadership: True Employee Engagement – Appreciate & Recognize

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

Leadership Optimism: Are You Dreaming, Denying, or Discovering?


Leadership Optimism: Image is a sweet dreams sleep mask.

Leadership Optimism: Dreaming, Denial or Discovery Image licensed from Istock.com

Images licensed from Istock.com

Leadership optimism is popular today. Innovation, today’s business buzzword for success, is leadership optimism in action. Believe and conceive what is possible!

Yet, there are still many who see optimism as negative. As I read Optimism May Be Stifling Your Team in the Harvard Business Review, it struck me that the problem is not optimism. The problem is in the definition of leadership optimism!


Is Leadership Optimism:


Dreaming, Denial, or Discovery?



When optimism shuts out reality, it gets the label of dreaming and denial. When combined with reality it moves everyone forward with discovery. Sounds simple, right? Well it’s not so black and white. As a leader, how do you keep optimism real without it reverting to negative, pessimistic, hopeless thinking?

Leadership optimism: Image is eye chart w/ big E for explore.

Leadership Optimism: Discover and Explore. Image from Istock.com.

Leadership Optimism: Keeping it Real!

  1. Speak and Engage Feedback.

    In the Harvard Business Review article noted above, the leader kept saying to the team: “How hard can it be?” This is not actually an expression of optimism. It is a rhetorical question that indirectly tells the team to follow orders. It also denies the team members’ hard work and thus it not inspirational. Keep leadership optimism real by engaging the team’s ideas and honoring their efforts. “This goal is high. We’ve met remarkable challenges in the past. I believe we can do this. What will it take? What are the challenges. How will we meet them?”

  2. Encourage Healthy Skepticism not Pessimism.

    To prevent reality from turning into endless pessimism, illustrate the difference between healthy skepticism and pessimism. Health skepticism raises issues about tough challenges. It encourages diverse discussion and critical thinking. It helps to prevent groupthink. Pessimism is a negative expression of what isn’t possible. It comes across as complaining. It seeks to shut down healthy debate with rigid restatements of what isn’t possible.


  3. Separate Your Fears from the Vision.

    Are you afraid the teams will resist and not meet the vision? Do you feel pressure to meet financial goals or the expectations of your boss? All these fears can push you to block reality by dreaming and denying. Identify your fears and remind yourself “It’s a feeling not a fact.” This little statement has the power to keep you upbeat, inspirational, engaging discussion, and leading with true optimism.


  4. Communicate Vision and Listen to Reality.

    I witnessed one leader get the label “dreamy-eyed” because all he ever did was communicate new vision and ideas. He drove his leadership team crazy because he wouldn’t allow them time to follow through and implement. In truth, he was not practicing leadership optimism. He was actually indulging his personal preference for constant change. He even admitted to me that he loved change and hated status quo. Envision then listen so all can participate in success.



Optimism and realism nicely co-exist. They are powerful partners. They sustain each other by preventing the extreme of each.


Capture the power of both in communicating:

  • Discuss instead of mandate.
  • Engage to explore vs. declare to hide.
  • Practice patience in listening vs. frustration in fear.
  • Honor commitment, efforts, and achievements instead of denying the truth and proclaiming it’s easy.


What else harnesses the dual power of optimism and realism?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Leading Change: Are You Strong Enough Not to Leave Scars?
Optimism & Realism to Be the One to Succeed

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into business success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate invites you to also connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

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