leaders

Leaders claim objectivity is valuable in preventing emotionally skewed decisions. Yet if leaders detach to be objective or come across as indifferent, they disengage employees and results suffer.

Leaders, are you helpfully objective or actually indifferent?

Leaders, Are You Helpfully Objective or Actually Indifferent? Image by: HikingArtist.com

 

Helpfully Objectivity

  • Considers all perspectives to ensure accurate results
  • Researches what is behind emotion to unearth weighty factors
  • Gets close enough to find and see the truth
  • Respects passion’s lift more than it fears its drag
  • Boldly taps emotion to inspire and engage employees

 

Objectivity Turns Into or Seems Like Indifference

When leaders …

  • Glorify measurements over all other types of information
  • Distance themselves in the fear that getting close will limit their honesty and objectivity
  • Mislabel all passion as illogical
  • Act solo because they lack trust in those around them
  • Revel in the comfort and false security of their own views and personality type
  • Push aside diverse new views under the guise of tried-and-true ways
  • Hold their positional power and/or expertise as the ultimate factor in decision making





Objectivity requires a true and complete picture. It sees the value of emotion. It understands diverse factors and perspectives.

Meanwhile, fear, the comfort of habit, and love of data and procedures try to disguise indifference as objectivity. The disguise backfires and leads to a skewed view and poor decisions.

Identify what obstacles are keeping you from engaging with employees, from seeing diverse views, and from building closer relationships. Develop emotional intelligence to overcome those blocks! It is far easier than you think and the business rewards are great.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
5 Steps to Developing Emotional Intelligence
Leadership Engagement: How to Reach Employees Not Preach to Them
Want Engaged Employees: Don’t Confuse Contentment w/ Lack of Ambition

Grateful for the use of Image by: HikingArtist.com via Flickr Creative Commons License.

©2013-2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

As leaders strive to improve their leadership, they use their self-confidence to guide and sustain them through the learning. Those who believe they need no improvement suffer from egotism; those they lead suffer in it.

Recently one leader asked me: “How do you know if it’s self-confidence or egotism?”


Breakthrough Leadership: Prevent Egotism w/ Self-Confidence Image by:SweetDreamzDesign

Image by: Sweet Dreamz Design via Creative Commons License.

True self-confidence prevents egotism!

  • Self-confidence opens the ears to feedback.

    This provides a steady stream of learning for realignment. Conversely, egotism makes you deaf. It blocks learning and growth.

  • Self-confidence compels you to use your gifts to serve others.

    Egotism demands others applaud your gifts as a sign of your perfection.

  • Self-confidence fuels true humility.

    It propels all to learn from mistakes and equalizes all on human qualities. Meanwhile, egotism dislikes humility and mislabels it as weakness and humiliation.

  • Self-confidence grows out of understanding your purpose in life.

    In leadership, true self-confidence elevates purpose about the personal. Conversely, egotism flourishes in personal needs over purpose.

  • Self-confidence is keenly aware of the reality.

    It handles the surprise ups and downs of reality very well. On the other hand, egotism plants its roots firmly in denial.

  • Self-confidence embraces doubt as a pathway to learning the truth.

    Egotism squashes doubt in the fear it will reveal the truth.

  • Self-confidence finds greatness in differences.

    Self-confidence revels in elevating diverse talents. Egotism judges differences as unworthiness.

  • Self-confidence allows leaders to shine through their teams’ achievements.

    A leader’s egotism nullifies the team’s importance to protect his or her insecurity.



Self-confidence fuels breakthrough leadership. It allows you to overcome weaknesses and status quo for the good of all you lead.

For example, if you are afraid of conflict yet confident to learn how to overcome your anxiety, you mediate and facilitate with success. If your initial definition of leadership was mostly directive, your self-confidence enables you to engage others’ ideas to meet changing needs of global business.

Egotism, which grounds its power in the status quo, stifles leaders and those they lead. Egotism crushes others to survive the crush of its own insecurity.

Egotism blocks reversal of direction even when it’s clear that the direction is taking business to the cliff. When there is a crisis, egotists are more likely to deny or blame. Self-confident leaders look boldly at the crisis and all its possible causes (including themselves) to solve it and prevent recurrence.

If you are open to feedback, welcoming insights, and always assessing your blind spots, you are using your self-confidence for breakthrough leadership. Kudos!

YOUR TURN: What can leaders do to prevent sudden insecurity from becoming egotism?

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Other Valuable Leadership Posts
18 Things Respected Well-Liked Leaders Consistently Do
Leaders, Avoid These Common Causes of People Skills Mistakes

©2012-2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Leadership Engagement: Focus on Development Not Self-Sacrifice

Leaders, when you face employees who lack commitment resist the temptation to tell them how hard you work. You think you will inspire self-sacrifice and commitment. Guess again! Leadership engagement is about reaching them not preaching to them.

Leadership Engagement: Image is quote by Elizabeth Cady Stanton on self-development

Leadership Engagement: How to Reach Employees Not Preach to Them Image via DecentQuotes.com

Image via DecentQuotes.

Leadership Engagement: How to Reach Not Preach

Self-sacrifice is not an order you give. It’s an awakening within someone, an arrival.

Leaders who have arrived tell others to get there when those leaders:

  • Are new to leadership. They don’t know how to reach others so they preach.
  • Believe that leadership is about themselves.
  • Get frustrated when employees are not engaging at high level.

Leadership Engagement Sad Story

Leader named Carmen was addressing a young under-performing employee. The employee gave reasons (excuses) for often being late and asked for more interesting work. Carmen replied “Let me tell you what I have to do every morning. My wife leaves very early for her shift work. Her mother is an invalid and lives with us. I have to bathe my mother-in-law, walk the dog, pick up the elder-care worker from the bus stop, get her back to the house and then get myself to work. Are you saying your life is tougher than mine?

This did not change the employee’s performance. Carmen’s self-sacrifice doesn’t awaken the employee’s sense of duty nor commitment.

To awaken commitment in employees:

  • Unearth how they think and what they care about.
  • Discuss self-development instead of self-sacrifice. “What behaviors do you think you need to develop to meet your goals?”
  • Then guide the conversation to how self-development feeds the team and the team feeds each individual. e.g. “When you are late, you let the team down.”

Leadership engagement doesn’t yield to the outrage of a frequently tardy employee asking for more interesting work. It also doesn’t hand out more interesting work to get the employee to show up on time.

Step back from frustration, outrage and the temptation to preach. Reach the employee with what they care about and map it back to the organization’s goals and team support.

Is self-sacrifice relevant in today’s workplace? Or is that a bygone era?

My blog posts reflect scenarios I face in my consulting work (with names changed to respect privacy). I look forward to helping you turn interaction obstacles into mega teamwork and employee engagement.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts
Leadership Engagement: Are You Leading w/ Honesty & Civility?
5 Essentials to Building 21st Century Teams
25 Incredibly Valuable Team Member Talents to Acknowledge

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Courageous Employees: Essentials to Leading the Hesitant & Courageous

Leaders and managers, do you have some courageous employees and others who are more hesitant? What troubles arise when they try to collaborate and innovate? What if the employees are more courageous than you?

Courageous Employees: Image is a big ferris wheel.

Courageous Employees: Essentials to Leading & Managing Them

Image via Pexels.

5 Essentials to Leading Hesitant & Courageous Employees

Courageous employees tend to be natural change agents. They question the rules. Their solutions to problems push the limits. They innovate and stretch the boundaries. They are naturally engaged at work. However …

If leaders do nothing to address this, courageous employees often leave to work for startups, companies with high performance teams, innovative enterprises, or start their own businesses. Meanwhile, leaders and managers continue to work on inspiring courage in employees!

As the old saying goes, be careful what you wish for, you may get it. If you inspire courage, you have to lead and manage courageous employees.

Leaders and managers, here’s how …

  1. Develop your self-awareness. How comfortable are you with change? Write down some recent examples where courageous employees made you feel uncomfortable. Why? Note all the reasons.
  2. Define what you think is a change agent and what is a loose cannon? There’s a difference and it is essential to distinguish one from the other. Compare what you have written here to your self-awareness notes in step #1. How do they compare? If the business needs change and innovation, address your own fears of courageous employees and change.
  3. Now engage employees in this discussion. Beyond the basic vision you have, what key issues and questions about courage do they raise? This will uncover contradictions between your vision and your actions. It will also highlight interaction struggles between hesitant and courageous employees. This openness is essential to collaboration, innovation, and change.
  4. Clear the fog of misinterpretation. Courageous employees may mislabel step-by-step thinking as change resistance. Hesitant employees may label the change agent’s zeal as dominating and even pushy. Have everyone use examples of how words and behaviors come across. From there, they can adapt to each other for collaboration and change.
  5. Empower everyone to raise the essential change challenge. When collaboration gets stuck, everyone must be ready to ask: Are we resisting change OR are we actually working through details to move forward? This essential question replaces the frustration of getting stuck with communication, understanding, and action.

Above all, leaders and managers, remember that courageous employees don’t automatically lead others out of change resistance. They can have a positive influence. Yet, I’ve also witnessed stalemates that demoralized everyone and drove courageous employees out of the company. I’ve heard hesitant team members say to courageous employees, “We’re not strong like you.”

Replace these stalemates with vision and communication. Have everyone discuss what courage in your workplace is, how to develop it, and how to manage it!

What other team challenges arise from different levels of courage?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Are You a Maverick or a Courageous Change Agent?
5 Essentials to Building 21st Century Teams

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Lead Smartly: Reject Dumb Denials & Lead Change!

Successful leaders use courage, IQ, social intelligence, and emotional intelligence (EQ) to lead smartly. Their beliefs and actions are markedly different from others. Most especially, they seek the truth even when it is uncomfortable! They reject dumb denials that trap others in the status quo and inaction.

Lead Smartly: Image is May Angelou quote Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue consistently.

Lead Smartly: Dumb Denials Smart Leaders Reject. Image by Rachel via Flickr.

Grateful for image by Rachel via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Lead Smartly: 5 Dumb Denials Emotionally Intelligent Leaders Reject

Behind each of these mistaken beliefs, is a dumb denial that sink many leaders. Don’t get trapped. Reject these dumb denials and lead smartly!

  1. If you can’t measure it, it doesn’t exist. Truly absurd.

    It wipes out all sorts of experience, intuition, information etc… Overly cautious leaders deny the truth — that much exists even when we can’t measure it. Smart leaders live in the truth. They don’t deny it. They have the courage to lead smartly from many sources.

  2. No news is good news. Truly dangerous.

    It limits valuable communication to negative announcements and problem solving. Leaders who shy away from showing appreciation, from recognizing talents, and from communicating well, leave untapped potential and morale on the floor. When these leaders speak only the bad news, performance suffers. Smart leaders inspire and engage with communication. They build their influence through relationships.

  3. People skills are inborn. Truly short-sighted.

    When leaders live this belief, they are denying the diversity that challenges human interaction. It takes people skills training to have people stay productive with others. Engaging leaders make time for their teams’ people skills development, especially for team building and how to work through conflict.

  4. Arrogance is a sign of confidence. It inspires others and produces great results. Truly dumb.

    Arrogance is not confidence. It doesn’t inspire teammates. It annoys them and drives them away. It disrespects others and reduces collaboration. The truth is that confidence is rooted in continuous learning. It prevents arrogance from taking root. Smart leaders address the stifling behavior of arrogant employees even if it’s uncomfortable.

  5. Emotion is unproductive. Truly out-of-date.

    Smart leaders tap emotion to lead smartly, encourage innovation, and spearhead change. They don’t label it as unproductive. They tap employee passion — a form of emotion — to ignite the talents the company hired. They show appreciation — a form of emotion — to increase commitment and reduce complaints. They give empathy when teams are struggling and encouragement to help them over the obstacles. Conversely, leaders who deny the value of emotion look weak and antiquated.

Step out of the comfort of denial and lead smartly. Inspire people with your emotional intelligence, vision, and willingness to handle the tough moments. It shows just how much you believe in what you are leading. If you don’t, why should they?

What other dumb denials hold leaders & teams back?

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
18 Things Respected Well-Liked Leaders Consistently Do
13 Lies Weak Leaders Bequeath to Everyone
Modern Leadership & Teamwork: Be Selfless Not Faceless

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Leaders, Don’t Mislabel All Issues as Personality Conflict

Leaders who are averse to conflict, quickly mislabel interaction issues as — just a personality conflict.

It’s one of those feel good denial reactions that creates additional problems. Mislabelling it as a personality conflict ignites hidden resentments. It also fails miserably as it overlooks the true issues to be resolved. That’s not to say that a personality conflict can’t arise. It can.

Yet there are many other causes of interaction difficulty. People may have different definitions of team and teamwork. There may be low trust or little respect. It’s important to determine the true causes instead of writing it all off to just a personality conflict.

Mislabelled Personality Conflict: Image is cracked eggs.

Not all trouble is a personality conflict. Image by Quinn Dumbrowski

Image by: Quinn Dombrowski via Flickr Creative Commons License.


An Illustration

A new leader (Bill) joined the leadership team. He has 5 peers and each oversees a different department. They and their teams must interact to deliver a wow customer experience. During the first week, Bill makes many demands on the peer he interacts with the most (Pat). He ultimately says to Pat, “I always get my way.”

When Pat requests a more team based approach, Bill takes offense. The high level leader (Lee) meets with Bill and Pat and says, “you two are having a personality conflict.”

Lee made a big mistake. He lost Pat’s trust that day. Assuming that two people who are having a conflict are having a personality conflict solves nothing. It also makes the leader (Lee) look weak and illogical.

What to Do Instead?

  • Establish and Honor a Baseline. Leaders who engage everyone in developing effective baseline behaviors pave the road to success. In today’s culturally diverse workplace, discussions expand understanding and prevent lots of conflicts. Once people establish baseline behaviors, it’s much easier to see errant behavior from a personality conflict.

    Important baseline behaviors to discuss:

    1. Behaviors for shared spaces
    2. Rules on texting during important meetings
    3. Acceptable ways to disagree and discuss strong views
    4. Handling aggressive and passive aggressive behavior

  • Dig to Discover. If the interaction issues in question are not errant behaviors, then find out what’s happening. To do this well, leaders must promise those who speak up that they will not be punished or minimized for the information they offer.

    It works well to have everyone involved to say what they are experiencing and what they would like to experience instead. This prevents gripe fests and discovers workable solutions.

  • Follow-through. Even if you are using HR or outside consultants to help you through this, leaders must stay involved. It is your expectation of improvement and your follow-through that bolsters employees’ commitment. Interaction affects the bottom line.

    Don’t just delegate this to someone and turn away. Assess, inspire, and stay involved.

Risks to Mislabeling Issues as Personality Conflict



  • Divisiveness. When leaders skip over discovering the trouble, the trouble persists. Un-addressed issues fester and feed frustration. Resentment grows as the leaders replace the truth with their assumptions of a personality conflict.
  • Mistrust and disrespect. Employees tap leaders for their insight, objectivity, strength, and honesty. When leaders tap dance around the issue instead of thinking it through, people lose trust and respect for those leaders. The loss of trust lingers and impacts the organization’s results.
  • Self-protection. When someone raises an issue about interaction problems and the leaders quickly pass it off as personality conflict, people think they are being punished for speaking up. After that, those who raised the issues go into self-protection mode. They block the open mindset needed for resolution and organizational success.
  • Weakened Core Values. The modern workplace is sustained with core values of respect, honesty, truth, and accountability. When leaders twist any situation into something it isn’t, it undermines interaction that could otherwise keep the organization moving forward. Whether it’s leader to leader, employee to employee, or leader and employee, discovering the true issues and addressing them appropriately secures the core values of success.




Most everyone can see the value in positive workplace interaction. What some leaders don’t see is that they play a key role in sustaining it through their accurate assessment. This doesn’t mean you are babysitting — a metaphor often misapplied in these moments. You are leading!

There is even evidence to show that employees leave jobs because of mislabelled un-addressed interpersonal issues that have made work intolerable. In the end, leaders who invest in sustaining the core values of interaction inspire collaboration and fuel success.

What other workplace behaviors is it valuable to discuss?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
18 Things Respected Well-Liked Leaders Consistently Do
Leadership to Reverse a Hostile Workplace
Tapping the Profitable Secrets of Personality Types

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

QuickSpot-grahpicV2

Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Respected Well-Liked Leaders: The Things They Always Do

I continue to hear leaders say they must choose between being respected and being liked. The good news is it’s not true. Moreover, it is important not to trade one for the other. Respected well-liked leaders inspire, engage, and foster organizational success.



Respected Well-Liked Leaders: Plaque Says Humanity Love Respect

Respected Well-Liked Leaders: The Things They Consistently Do. Image by B.S. Wise via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Image by B.S. Wise via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Respected Well-Liked Leaders: 18 Things They Consistently Do!

  1. Respected well-liked leaders are like-able but they don’t seek to be liked at every moment. They don’t avoid situations just to be liked.

  2. They communicate with honesty and civility not bluntness and disdain.

  3. Respected well-liked leaders take time to get to know people. They don’t come on at the beginning like everyone’s best friend. They show comfort in leadership and over time in friendship.

  4. Respected well-liked leaders appreciate and recognize effort and talent as much as results and success. They understand and accept the human need for appreciation and encouragement. Leaders who think that praise weakens teams weaken their teams by skipping the praise.

  5. They are confident and humble. Respected well-liked leaders illustrate how to be self-assured while sharing the spotlight with others. They are selfless not faceless.

  6. They are open-minded not indecisive. They listen and consider many views and weigh in with their expertise. They know that empowerment is not abandonment. They know when to tell, when to ask; when to wait and when to take action.

  7. In difficult moments, they give empathy as well as possible solutions. Respected leaders use their expertise and vision to solve problems. Respected well-liked leaders attend to the human needs as well.

  8. Respected well-liked leaders rise above their own pet peeves. By focusing on others’ needs instead of their own personal preferences, leaders become respected as well as liked. Those who constantly expect everyone to cater to their personal preferences are disrespected and disliked.

  9. They improve their high emotional intelligence every day. Respected well-liked leaders develop their social skills to greet people warmly. They evolve their self-awareness to be the model of self-regulation.

  10. Respected well-liked leaders are optimistic and realistic. They have healthy skepticism without being pessimistic and jaded.

  11. They create an environment where it is safe to innovate and change. Change can be scary. Respected well-liked leaders don’t quarantine their courage. They make it contagious!

  12. They show up fully for themselves and others every day. They energize others and model true contribution.

  13. Respected well-liked leaders live and exhibit love of diversity. They don’t create clones; they spot and develop diverse talent. Who wouldn’t respect and like that!


  14. Respected well-liked leaders put the “we go” before the ego.

  15. They put themselves on the line with their teams. They address unfairness, bullying, cliques, chronic complainers, and slackers. You never hear them say, “just work it out yourselves.”

  16. Respected well-liked leaders seek and inspire excellence, not perfectionism. Their reasonableness has room for forgiveness that develops a valuable culture of learning and accountability.

  17. Respected well-liked leaders are a buoy (not the buoy) of inspiration and balance. Their energy and light guide everyone from the gray zone of confusion to the end zone of success. The team members then buoy each other.

  18. They communicate very well. Their words and tone inspire greatness without leaving scars. They reach others they don’t preach to others. They call everyone to change and grow while honoring who they are. This is why these leaders are respected and well-liked.



What is your fav on this list & what would you add to this list?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership Video (2.5 min): Be A Buoy of Inspiration & Balance
Leaders, 10 Ways to Ignite Greatness Without Leaving Scars
Leadership: People Skills to Reverse a Hostile Workplace

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning!

Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.

I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Modern Leadership & Teamwork: Selfless Giving Not Faceless Fortune

When you think of modern leadership, does the word selfless come to mind? So much is written about leaders doing more listening less speaking. Being more like a servant to the team and less like the supreme ruler.

As leaders face this definition of modern leadership, many start to wonder if selfless actually means faceless. Team members then face the same dilemma in defining teamwork.

Modern Leadership & Teamwork – This!

Modern Leadership & Teamwork: Image is diverse people working together.

Modern Leadership & Teamwork: Selfless Not Faceless Image by Doblin Monitor.

Grateful for image by: Doblin Monitor via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Not This!

Modern leadership & teamwork: Image is faceless mannequins.

Modern Leadership & Teamwork is Not Faceless. Image by Horla Varlan.

Grateful for image by: Horla Varlan via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Modern Leadership & Teamwork: Be Selfless Not Faceless

There are simple yet significant differences between selfless and faceless.

  1. Selfless leaders and teammates generously give their talents, ideas, and interest in others.

    Faceless believe their ideas aren’t worthy of consideration. Downside: What isn’t offered is unrealized success. Everyone matters for you never know who will contribute the winning detail.

  2. Selfless leaders and teammates share responsibility and accountability.

    Faceless hide from it all. Downside: Splintered organization and a culture of blame.

  3. Selfless leaders and teammates are confident and flexible.

    Modern leadership and teamwork is not about telling or asking. It’s knowing when to do each. Faceless lacks the confidence to do both.

  4. Selfless leaders and teammates seek first to understand then to be understood.

    Faceless seek only to understand. Downside: Groupthink. What isn’t discussed can be dangerous. This is far from modern leadership and teamwork.

  5. Selfless leaders and teammates express appreciation to each other.

    They realize there are many “I’s” in team. They honor and celebrate the diversity of talents. This encourages more contribution to the team. With new generations in the workplace, honoring individual contribution is critical. Faceless overlook the individuals. Downside: Missed opportunities to develop maximum contribution.

  6. Selfless leaders and teammates have tough conversations with respect and civility.

    They care about the outcome and each other. Faceless avoid the tough moments for their own comfort. Downside: Less successful organization.

Special Concerns for Leaders

If you are faceless …

  • you don’t inspire or engage team members.
  • team members can feel abandoned not empowered.
  • team members can believe they must act the same way you do.
  • team members can feel unappreciated and seek other employment.
  • teams members can feel like your organization is a dead end.
  • selfish team members can become the de facto leaders and unravel the culture of teamwork.

For modern leadership and teamwork, be selfless not faceless. Bring your generosity, talents, curiosity, courage, patience, and people skills to work every day. The result is a high performing organization that sustains success with inspiration, support, and stellar efforts.

Here’s a partner post w/ additional details: 12 Professional People Skills to Succeed Without Authority

What modern leadership & teamwork challenges have you met with selflessness?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
25 Team Member Talents to Celebrate & Appreciate
Leadership Interview Tips: I vs. We

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

NEW> Increase productivity and reduce conflict with the new QUICK SPOT & ADAPT™ workshop to adapt to personality types and work better together. Book your workshop today!


 

 

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Bluntness Checklist: 7 Steps From Brutally Blunt to Helpfully Honest

We all benefit when we communicate honestly and clearly. It minimizes confusion and speeds success. Yet there is a big difference between being brutally blunt vs. honest and clear.



Here’s a 7 step bluntness checklist to get you easily from blunt to honest.


Bluntness Checklist: Image is a square-headed comic figure

Bluntness Checklist:7 Steps from Brutally Blunt to Helpfully Honest

Image by: Nomadic Lass via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Bluntness Checklist: 7 Steps From Brutally Blunt to Helpfully Honest

How do you want people to feel when you are communicating? Bruised and battered? Clear and uplifted?

What image do they have of you when you are communicating? Do they see you as emotionally intelligent and honest or brutally blunt?

This bluntness checklist is an emotionally intelligent guide.



    #1 Honor people as well as your purpose and message.

      Much of the bluntness comes from focusing purely on the message you want to deliver. Oddly enough, it makes the message less clear because your emotion packed statement blocks listening.

      Before speaking, ask yourself what impact your words will have on others. Honesty without honoring the human comes out as blunt. This is why honor heads up the bluntness checklist. Be honest with care not blunt with emotion.

    #2 Openness to other possibilities makes you less blunt.

      What you say is rarely an absolute fact. There are perspective, conditions, opinions, other possibilities to consider. When you communicate from this belief, you are more likely to have an honest dialogue with people instead of a blunt monologue.

    #3 Never start a sentence with the word “you” in difficult situations.

      Imagine saying, “You aren’t doing your job” or “You are failing badly.” Starting with “you” comes across as a blunt attack and breeds a defensive reply.

      Instead, start with “We expect _______ and this is what you are doing _______. Let’s talk about changes _________.” Now the person can hear your message with specifics on what to change.

    #4 Emotion in negative situations will come out as brutally blunt.

      First say, “Let’s put aside my emotion for a moment” and then communicate. It shows the other person you want to speak honestly without insulting them. If some of it comes out blunt, at least they will know you are trying.

      However, do not use this intro as a justification for being blunt. It doesn’t work. More of your words must honor with honesty than bruise with bluntness.

    #5 Sense of proportion reduces the brutality.

      Bluntness, by definition, is the extreme of communication. Bluntness is emotion packed. Ask yourself, why must I use this extreme and inflict scars? What words, with better proportion, can clearly communicate my message?

    #6 Timing and tone of voice transform results.

      When some people read the word timing, they assume delay. Although you might choose to delay speaking, there are times you can’t or shouldn’t. Yet timing also means the pace of your speech.

      The faster you speak in tough moments, the more brutal it sounds. Meanwhile, speaking too slowly or softly can sound patronizing.

      A normal even pace of speech communicates honesty avoids bluntness. This is why timing is on the bluntness checklist.

    #7 Yes. Thinking “agreement” makes you less blunt.

      Insults rarely produce a yes. Helpful honesty does. If you want to influence, think yes. Replace negative emotion with positive desire — what you want vs. what you don’t want. It transforms your communication from hurtful and blunt to honest and positive.

      Even if agreement is not your goal, think “yes” and your words will be more helpfully honest not brutally blunt.





Respect is the key to being honest vs. blunt. It allows you to honor people as well as your own message. If you disagree, state your view with calmness and respect for others.

The question people often ask me: Are there people with whom you must be brutally blunt? No. I have met people who don’t understand subtle communication. In those moments, I was more direct not brutally blunt. I still respected them. I communicated honestly not bluntly.

This 7 step bluntness checklist will transform any blunt communication into helpful honesty. It’s worth it!

What extra steps are on your bluntness checklist?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
People Skills: 9 Hidden Places to Discover Your Empathy
Emotional Intelligence: 10 Ways to Work w/ Immature Teammates

©2011-2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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People Skills Success Radar: 9 Hidden Places to Find Your Empathy

It takes great people skills to succeed in business and it takes empathy to have great people skills. Have you discovered the full extent of your empathy? Without empathy — understanding and feeling what others are feeling — you fail to build trust and true connection.

People Skills Success Discover Your Empathy: Image is a humanoid w/ binoculars

People Skills Success Radar: Discover Your Empathy. Image licensed from Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com.

People Skills Success Radar: 9 Hidden Places to Find Your Empathy

Find your empathy to lead and engage employees, work with teammates, collaborate on projects, and succeed with customers. Give it even in the toughest moments. Your people skills success radar will help you find it.

Here is where empathy often hides:

  1. In what you are afraid to be. When people want to be seen as tough and strong, empathy hides to protect that image. Release and give your empathy. It shows that you are truly secure in who you are and confident enough to care for others. Inner strength is your billboard not fake toughness.

  2. In what you never received. Your empathy hides behind your unconscious scar of not receiving any. Find your empathy there and give it to others. It is the best way to get empathy and remove your scar.

  3. In the fear of failure. When people are afraid they will fail, they sometimes focus too much on themselves. Their fear hides their empathy. Uncover your empathy to uncover people skills success in business.

  4. In the myth that empathy makes others weak. Feeling what others feel doesn’t make them weak. Connection lifts people up. Your empathy makes them stronger as you light another way to success.

  5. In a logical focus. People who find comfort in logic — and discomfort in feelings — bury their empathy underneath analysis. Dig it up. Empathize before you analyze. It doesn’t bury you in feelings. Empathy is the connection before the solution. It is the secret to people skills success.

  6. Behind a wall of mistrust. When people are stung by an emotional manipulator, they sometimes put up walls to future connection. They don’t want to empathize and be stung by anyone again. Don’t hide your pain behind the wall. Call the stingers what they are — stinkers! Then share your empathy with the rest of the wonderful caring people in your world. Otherwise, the stinkers hide your people skills success behind the wall forever.

  7. In the wrong definition of empathy. Empathy doesn’t mean you agree with others. It simply says: “You matter, we matter, this matters, let’s find a solution.” You can empathize with someone’s feelings and yet not agree with their reasoning, conclusion, or solution. Share your empathy first to help them see a different view.

  8. In a judgmental ego. “I told you so” and “Everything that happened to you is your own fault” scream out your weakness. Quite ironic since these statements attempt to focus on others’ weakness! Silence your judgmental ego w/ a more powerful force — empathy. Then watch the magical power of connection bring you success.

  9. In a vengeful spirit. If you live a get even life, your empathy and success have difficulty living there too. And few will want to be there with you. Employees, colleagues, teammates, and definitely customers will keep their distance. Replace vengeance with forgiveness and move forward. Your empathy — not vengeance — will bring you people skills success.

Work and live the most basic human truth, success comes through connection. Empathy brings the magical power of connection to life. Find and share your empathy for people skills success.

What would you add to the list above? Is there a #10?


Let’s explore empathy in workshops with your teams and boost teamwork and business success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
People Skills Philosophy 4 Keys to Agility & Success in Business
What Happens When Tough Leaders Show Empathy?

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Chronic Complainers: Great Leaders Ignite Their Contribution

If some of your employees are chronic complainers, don’t focus on the complaining. You get what you focus on. If you want them to contribute, focus on contribution.

Great leaders do not snap at chronic complainers with the disdainful phrase stop whining. They ignite contribution without silencing people or squashing morale.

Chronic Complainers: Image is sketched figure saying I complain therefore I am.

Chronic Complainers: 5 Ways Leaders Ignite Their Contribution. Image by Dushan Wegner.

Image by Dushan Wegner via Flickr Creative Commons License.

5 Ways Great Leaders Ignite Contributions from Chronic Complainers

Leaders, as you feel your frustration with chronic complainers rising, ask yourself why they bother you? Do you feel stuck? Do you wonder how you’ll succeed while they spend time complaining?

Great leaders have these feelings too. They respond by …

  • Replacing the shoulds with communication. Great leaders don’t get stuck in their own expectations. If you find yourself thinking, employees should stop complaining, get busy eliciting employees ideas. It takes out of your own anger and self-focus and into the influence of leadership.
  • Modeling the positive to override the negative. The best way to teach behavior is to show the actions. When chronic complainers dump doubts on everyone, ask them for one way to make the situation better. If they complain some more, politely interrupt them. “I heard what you don’t like. How can we fix it?” Consistently interrupt the complaint with a sincere request for ideas.
  • Sharing power and responsibility. I’ve seen great leaders repeatedly turn chronic complainers into star performers. The leaders empower them to be accountable for results. This goes to the heart of someone’s self-image. A new reality evokes new behavior and eventually a modified self-image.

    Conversely, if you are a micro-manager or a highly controlling leader, you breed complaints. Employees complain when they feel they have no power.

  • Applauding initiative. Great leaders honor people who contribute ideas and solutions. They give recognition to the person for the action. They highlight why initiative matters. This is not the same thing as rewarding success. If you want less complaining and more initiative, reward and appreciate initiative.
  • Correcting themselves when they complain. Anybody can lapse into a complaint. In fact, “stop complaining” and “stop whining” are themselves complaints and whines. They express frustration without offering solutions. When you slip into this, stop yourself. Illustrate how you turn around your own behavior and you model it for everyone.

Chronic complainers are driven by embarrassment, fear, insecurity, and feelings of powerlessness. Interrupt this behavior through awareness, communication, and empowerment.

Ignite contributions and breed accountability. Show everyone what it is. Replace demeaning stop whining decrees with behavior that inspires contribution and green lights success.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership: Breed Accountability Not Blame
Professional People Skills: 6 Ways to Respond to Constant Fault Finders

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership Self-Awareness Clears the Fog!

Great leaders prevent their weaknesses from becoming paralyzing blind spots. This leadership self-awareness fosters employee self-awareness and creates a high performance culture.

Leadership Self-Awareness: Image is a bridge occluded with dense fog.

Leadership Self-Awareness: Lies Weak Leaders Bequeath to Everyone Image by Martin Fisch.

Grateful for image by Martin Fisch via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Leadership Self-Awareness: 13 Lies Weak Leaders Bequeath to Everyone

When leaders are not self-aware, they hold the organization back from its true potential. Let’s consider some of the common examples.

  1. I hired the arrogant overbearing candidate because I can be up front with them. With excellent people skills, you can be up front with all your employees. Why do you think you can’t be? Organizational success depends on respectful openness and conversations that move things forward. Develop some leadership self-awareness so you don’t bequeath your fear to the organization.
  2. I make all the decisions because my team is immature. Well then who is developing them? Immaturity doesn’t mean people can’t mature. Great leaders model and mentor. Show courage to be accountable even when you are not directly responsible. Otherwise you leave a legacy of un-empowered employees.
  3. I give people endless chances to develop a great attitude because I’m kind. Or is it that you want to be liked? You can be kind and firm in addressing a persistent bad attitude. Address the bad attitude so you don’t bequeath it to the entire team to endure.
  4. I won’t fire people because I have integrity. Firing people doesn’t mean you lack integrity. If you must let someone go, know and communicate the reasons. Running from your responsibilities while you still hold the position leaves a difficult void.
  5. Extroverts don’t think things through. This old myth reveals your unwillingness to appreciate and lead diverse people. It under utilizes the talent already hired and disengages employees. Respect the differences or you create a homogeneous culture of intolerance.
  6. Introverts slow team success. Introverts don’t work more slowly nor do they slow team success. Your discomfort with quiet thinking is the true issue here. Develop some leadership self-awareness to move past your limits. Otherwise you leave much talent untapped.
  7. There is no I in team. Of course there is. There are many “I’s” in team who contribute their talents to the whole. This old maxim shows a desire to command and control. Inspire and appreciate each team member or you leave the teams less engaged than they could be.
  8. Pessimism and negativity are healthy. Skepticism and critical thinking can be healthy. Pessimism and negativity are toxic. Are you mistaking one for the other or are you uncomfortable in highly positive environments. Develop more leadership self-awareness to address this culture issue!
  9. Collaboration is risky because everybody thinks the same thing. Collaboration is not mindless agreement. People explore many possibilities as they work together. Could it be that you are highly competitive and uncomfortable around collaborators? In truth, people don’t have to be competitive for the organization to win. Collaborators are stronger than you think.
  10. Teamwork is important BUT this employee produces. If you have fallen into this trap, you’ve declared that individual performance matters, teamwork doesn’t. This can be the death knell for teamwork. People will see that you recognize non-team playing mavericks and teamwork erodes.
  11. Emotional intelligence is a bunch of nonsense. Leaders who say this show their lack of emotional intelligence. Self-awareness and awareness of others’ needs impact results. Emotional intelligence is at the heart of great leadership. If you push your way around without it, talent leaves. You create a legacy of high turnover.
  12. I can’t lead change because you can’t change people. You are telling the world that you don’t know how to lead change. Leading change is about inspiring people under new conditions to create the next success. If you don’t lead it, you abandon everyone in the chaos of change. Step up, inspire, discover your influence, and lead change.
  13. My teams know I appreciate them. I don’t have to say it. Showing appreciation is not an update to communicate the unknown. It is the oxygen that keeps people going in good times and bad. Develop some leadership self-awareness around your attitude toward showing appreciation. Otherwise you bequeath a culture of under-appreciated employees and their less then stellar performance.





Denial is not a success strategy. Escape from the lies that keep your organization in the shadows.

Your turn. What lies would you add to this list?

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:

Leadership People Skills: 5 Essentials to Spark Team Agility
Are You An Annoying Maverick or Team Player?

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership Humility is This Week’s Chat Topic!

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Nov. 23, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM ET. Hashtag: #peopleskills

Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EST to your local time.


Leadership Humility: Strength or Weakness?

Picture humble leaders. What do you see? What are they doing? Would you want to work with them? Join us Sunday Nov. 23rd 10am ET to share your personal perspective and deeper view of leadership humility.

Leadership Humility: Image is People skills logo

Leadership Humility – A Deeper View: Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Leadership Humility: A Deeper View

Despite shifts in the definition of leadership, leadership humility is still widely debated. Does it come across as weak? Does it breed less or more business success? Do all people respect a humble leader?

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • Leadership Humility: Clear connection or oxymoron?
  • Can humble people show their greatness to get promoted?
  • What is the underlying logic of leadership humility?
  • Does humility evoke trust or suspicion from other people? Why?
  • Is humility a part of great leadership? Why don’t we see more of it?
  • How do humble leaders behave?
  • How does leadership humility affect employee engagement?
  • Who produces more leaders – humble leaders or non-humble leaders? Why?
  • Is leadership humility more common in some cultures than in others?
  • How can people skills show humility in a positive light?

These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your desire to help our youth, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday Nov. 23, 10am ET in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Let’s dig into leadership humility more deeply and see what we discover and learn from each other.

I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.

Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Continued thanks to generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.





Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Nov. 23, 2014, 10am ET/7am PT to share your insights and perspective on leadership humility.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.




TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.

Connect with you this Sun. Nov. 23, 2014, in global #peopleskills Twitter chat 10am EST to explore leadership humility.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Collaboration: It Can Be Strong or Fragile


Collaboration: Image are 5 Eggs in the Shells w/ Feather Over Them.

Collaboration: What Does It Really Take? Image by JeshuJohn.

Although this image does not require attribution, I compliment Jeshu John for this great photo.


Collaboration can expand everyone’s greatness when everyone seeks opportunities — not just opportunistic moments to meet their own needs. Whether an entrepreneur, a legislator, a corporate leader, a team member, an educator, a student, or a non-profit volunteer – we all reap the benefits of collaboration when we contribute at least as much we take.

Collaboration: What Does It Really Take?

Collaboration is powerful mechanism for success. It requires:

  • Respect for everyone
  • Building and honoring trust
  • Confidence in yourself and others
  • Belief that interdependence is better than total independence
  • Emotional intelligence – awareness of others’ needs
  • Giving as much or more than we take



Opportunists betray the trust through hidden agendas and manipulation. They build their own success while only seeming to help others. On the surface it appears to be collaboration. When we look deeper we see the superficiality.



Tune Up Your Radar to Spot Opportunists

It is the pattern of behavior that defines an opportunist — not any one moment.

Collaboration: Opportunity not Opportunists Image by:Peyri


Opportunists in a work setting or on social media …

  1. Give half-baked praise of others’ contributions.
  2. Compliment people personally while ignoring their professional work.
  3. Give partial answers to seem collaborative yet withhold knowledge.
  4. Sometimes take credit for others’ thoughts and ideas.
  5. Want people’s contributions with minimal investment of their own time.
  6. Treat others well when people are helping them and pull away when asked for their knowledge and experience.
  7. Accept help from authentic collaborators but contribute the minimum in return.


In social media networking, we can of course turn and walk away from opportunists. In a work setting, it’s not always possible. Opportunistic behavior then plants roots of mistrust. It changes the dynamic in sometimes unidentifiable ways. Those who collaborate and help others feel the foolish sting of being used. They sometimes become guarded and less collaborative.


Preserve the Purity of Collaboration

As a leader, you know that something has changed but you’re not sure what or why. Yet you see the loss of trust and its damaging effects on collaboration.

  • Start discussions on the expectations of collaboration. Shine a light on the topic with teams and ad hoc project teams.
  • Have everyone define the difference between a collaborator and an opportunist.  Of course make sure you are the former!  Build a culture of collaboration through initial discussions, modeling the behavior, monitoring progress, and making changes.
  • Give yourself and everyone the OK to be on the lookout for opportunistic behavior. It doesn’t mean you are a cynic. You can collaborate as an optimistic realist and keep your radar tuned for signals. Raise the warning flag and speak with those whose behaviors are opportunistic. What are their goals? Why are they acting this way? Reconfirm what is expected for collaboration.
  • Remove opportunists if they are unwilling to truly collaborate.  Some leaders find this difficult if the opportunists are very knowledgeable. Yet if you reward individuals who won’t collaborate, your message to collaborators is clear.








Life is learning so learn from it. Learn the signals to avoid being stung again. You will build inner strength to recover from bad times. Then go forward with renewed confidence and create success with authentic collaborators. There’s lots of them and you will find them!


How do you stay positive after being stung?

For me, it’s seeing & living an abundance mentality.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Teamwork Collaboration: Leadership Beliefs That Kill It
Leaders, Collaborators Are Stronger Than You Think
10 Mature Ways to Work w/ Immature Teammates

Image of selfishness by Peyri via Flickr Creative Commons License.

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Employee Appreciation: 3 Ways to Get It!

Do you feel unappreciated at work? That doesn’t mean people don’t appreciate you. It means they aren’t expressing appreciation to you.

It’s an important distinction. If you believe others don’t appreciate you, you can lose motivation. You can start to question your worth at work. You might even spiral into negativity that hurts other parts of your life. STOP!

Employee appreciation: Image is the word Resilience

Employee Appreciation: Be a Buoy to Be Appreciated. Image by Sweet Dreamz Design via Flickr.

Grateful for image by Sweet Dreamz Designs via Flickr Creative Commons License.

You can stay resilient. Simply learn these things about employee appreciation:

  • When people are most likely to express it
  • What stops them from expressing it
  • How to get more of it at work!

Employee Appreciation: When Do Leaders Express It

For many leaders, appreciation is an emotional response. They don’t show employee appreciation for tasks completed. They appreciate you when your actions fill their voids.

People express appreciation when you help them advance or ease their pain — when you are their buoy!

Leaders give appreciation when they have a need that you fill. Why? Because it is at that point they are aware of their vulnerability. They feel the need keenly enough to show employee appreciation. To get appreciation at work, be a buoy of resilience for others.

Employee Appreciation: 9 Reasons Leaders Don’t Show It

  1. Some people are very uncomfortable expressing positive emotion until your caring actions move them beyond their discomfort.
  2. Some leaders were mentored by leaders who thought emotion was unproductive. They live what they were taught.
  3. The organizational culture is not one of gratitude.
  4. Some leaders live by the old rule: No news is good news. They believe you are being paid to do a job.
  5. They believe that you know you are appreciated because you were hired.
  6. Your leader may be a high introvert who keeps much inside.
  7. Their leader doesn’t express appreciation to them and thus they have no motivation to show appreciation to you.
  8. Some people are intrinsically motivated and need little appreciation. They assume everyone is like them.
  9. Leaders who are high drivers focus on end results to the exclusion of everything else.

Employee Appreciation: 3 Ways to Get It!

Use your natural talents and interests to do for others what they can’t or don’t like to do.

  • Complete your boss. An executive admin reported to me that her boss hates to write. She loves to write. He gives her his key thoughts and she writes the document or presentation. He appreciates it and says so! She is his buoy!
  • Lift up your teammate. Teammates empathized with a teammate struggling with a serious personal life issue and filled the void when that teammate was not at work. They buoyed their teammate. The teammate expressed sincere appreciation.
  • Share your talents regardless of your title. One woman reported she is always good in a crisis. She’s a pressure player as the old saying goes. Now people turn to her at crunch time. She is a buoy! She receives appreciation at work for this even though she is not the official leader.

During a recent keynote, I said…

Instead of seeking appreciation for your job tasks, get appreciated for your natural talents.

Someone answered … That still means they don’t value our job function.

I replied: Job functions become extinct. Your talents don’t and won’t. Buoy people with your talents and you will get appreciation.

Appreciation at Work: Image is a quote value of working together.

Career Appreciation: Be a Buoy to Be More Appreciated at Work



It’s far better to rely on your talents to be appreciated than on a job function whose value changes with time.

Be a buoy. Support others. Make them resilient. Keep them afloat. Fill the void with your talents. This is how you will get appreciation at work.

Which talents do others appreciate in you?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
25 Incredible Talents That Get Appreciated at Work
Leaders, Employee Engagement is Uniquely Personal

©2013-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

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