Positive Attitudes: How to Survive Toxic Leaders
Your initial reaction to this title might be that if they’re toxic, they are not leaders.
Most people would probably agree with you. BUT you still have to deal with these toxic leaders unless or until you choose to leave.
Positive Attitudes: Mind Over (What Doesn’t) Matter
Positive attitudes give you the power to cope and even transform very difficult moments. The question is: Can you get your mind to overcome what doesn’t matter?
First and foremost, know what matters to you. For me, it’s my health. I can’t live without it. I’ve learned what conditions zap my health. In those toxic moments — if I can’t change them — I move on.
In other toxic moments I use positive attitudes to survive and even thrive!
- Realize it’s a feeling not a fact. You can feel conquered by toxic leaders when you believe that what you are feeling is an unchangeable fact. You can change your outlook and your feelings. You have choices. You’re not trapped!
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” ~Wayne Dyer
- Know and focus on your long term goals. This is a pleasant detour from the rough road of toxic leaders. It gets you to your destination without getting lost in their toxic behavior. Your positive attitudes set the path of that detour; don’t take theirs!
- Find sanctuary in your own energy. Success takes energy. Channel it into your happy journey not a toxic dump. Positive attitudes lift you up!
- Be an amused spectator. See the dysfunction of toxic leaders as a reality TV show. Enjoy the humor in the absurd behavior from the safe distance of mental objectivity. Take great pleasure in seeing through, behind, and beyond the toxic behavior.
- Escape to positive attitudes. During work, mentally escape to positive attitudes that spur you on. I often think of how much I am learning. It gives me great comfort. After work, engage in activities that you love. Your happiness is your choice.
- Compare what worse you have already faced. As galling as toxic leader behavior is, it pales in comparison to serious, even life threatening events. I will always remember a client telling me that toxic leaders don’t bother him.
Before that, he was in the U.S. Coast Guard on a patrol boat looking for drug runners. He told me, “This is way better than getting my ass shot off in the Gulf of Mexico. I’m happy to have a job, contribute, and yes, even deal with my crazy boss.” Ask yourself, what is your current job better than?
From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™
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Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.
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