Social Media

Social Media Networking: What Impression Are You Leaving?

This post is not about social media. It’s about social media networking.

It doesn’t instruct you on infographics, tell you how to use the right tags, guide you on LinkedIn changes, reveal the secrets of Facebook, or construct a marketing blitz. It offers professional people skills tips to increase trust and boost business — once your social media gets people’s attention.



Social Media Networking: Image is Missing Puzzle Piece Says Trust

Social Media Networking: People Skills to Build Trust

Image by Sal Falco via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Social Media Networking: Professional People Skills Tips

Picture it. Social media has made others aware of your business. Now what? How do you interact to keep that positive buzz alive? Here’s how social media networking pros do it.

  1. Be prepared! Learn about others before you contact them.

    Example: Another customer service speaker saw my customer service social media posts. She emailed me about referring engagements to each other. Her email included her one sheet, link to her footage, and how much she charges. She wanted to know what kind of speaking I did and how much I charge. This was the first time I had heard from her. We had no pre-existing relationship.

    If she had viewed the footage on my website, as I did hers, she would have realized we have the same target audience. Her intention may have been to build a network for mutual referrals. However since she didn’t learn about me before contacting me, her actions contradicted her words. She left the impression that she was on a fishing expedition not a journey to mutual success.

  2. Do your research to learn about others. Then engage. While social media is about you, social media networking is about you and others.


  3. Engage before you need help. Give before you receive.

    Share others’ posts. Interview them. Give them great social media shout outs. Invest a little time to build their trust. Contacting people only when you want them to promote your book, attend your webinar, or buy your product says gimme gimme gimme. It’s a turn-off.

    Social media networking is about building relationships to reach your goals. Without the relationship, it’s self-absorbed selling.


  4. Communicate your purpose clearly.

    Example: A podcast host invited me via email to be a guest on his customer experience show. I replied with a few questions and he sent me an information packet. In the email he mentioned they do these as joint promotions and would work with me as time drew near. To me that meant that he and I would promote that podcast.

    When I opened the information packet, I found pages and pages of his speaking engagement credits. This was a different picture. What was his true purpose? To develop and promote a quality podcast on customer experience or mass market his speaking to other speakers? I passed on the offer. It was social media not social media networking.


  5. Reach out sincerely. If you don’t want to network, don’t reach out.

    Example: A customer service speaker whom I knew somewhat on social media also emailed me about mutual referrals. It was a well written email. He noted the engagements that he loves to take on if I didn’t want them. I asked if we could speak briefly sometime to get to know each other a bit more. He replied that a family member was ill and he was short on time. I can certainly understand that.

    But then he added: “Besides it was just a casual request.” He was using social media — transmitting information — not engaging in social media networking. Asking for referrals without a relationship says, “Give me help but don’t ask me for anything.” This doesn’t build trust. It doesn’t produce referrals. It doesn’t boost business.


  6. Engage on a blog before you ask to guest post.

    Once or twice a week I get emails from people I don’t know asking if they can guest post on my blog. They always provide links to the posts they’ve written elsewhere and tell me all about themselves. Once again they are using social media but not engaging in social media networking.

    If you want to guest post for a blog, read and leave comments on that blog. Show that you understand the blog’s purpose. Share the blog’s posts on social media. Interact with others that are leaving comments. The blog owner gets to know how you will promote the blog as well as how you write.

    Give before you asked to be featured. You build trust and gratitude. This is the value of social media networking.


  7. Expand your view. Think from the outside in.

    To interact well with people you don’t know, first learn how they think. Be very curious and explore their view of the issue that interests you both. This outside-in thinking makes bonding and building trust much easier. If you aren’t interested in their views, why would they be interested in helping you or boosting your business?





Social media gets you noticed.



Social media networking gets you relationships for results.



What people skills tips will you share here for great social media networking?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
9 People Skills Interaction Reminders for Great Social Media Networking
Harmony, What Does It Take to Really Listen

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Reveal Your Social Media People Skills Lessons Learned.

WHEN:Twitter Chat Sunday Feb. 9 2014 at 10AM ET. Hashtag: #peopleskills

Here’s a time converter to assist all of you around the globe in converting 10am ET to your local time.


Background: Reveal Social Media People Skills Lessons Learned

Online interaction on social media brings many people skills challenges. Whether you are new to social media or veteran of many years, the challenges of interacting with people you don’t know well are the same. We have all learned many people skills lessons online. Reveal your social media people skills lessons learned in chat this Sunday Feb. 9th at 10am ET.

Joining me as co-host is Kathryn Howell. She is an entrepreneurial mom who loves social media, marketing, and adventure. Kathryn is a deep believer in using social media to connect and grow personally and professionally. She chronicles her social media journey in Can You Build Meaningful Relationships in 140 Characters?



Reveal Your Social Media People Skills. Image is logo.

Reveal Your Social Media People Skills Lessons Learned.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Join Chat & Reveal Your Social Media #Peopleskills Lessons Learned

How we treat others makes a difference. It impacts the first impression we make, the possibilities we can explore, the results we can achieve. On social media, the challenges are even greater than in person. Our impression and impact is broadcast to the world instantly. Thus the lessons we learn and share can help others avoid missteps!

Some questions come to mind …

  • What positive people skills have you experienced on social media?
  • When do you find social media interaction most challenging?
  • What people skills lessons did you bring to social media that helped make a positive impression?
  • How does your social media purpose impact your people skills?
  • What advice will you offer others about positive interactions on social media?



These are just some questions to get us thinking before we begin. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join me, Kathryn Howell, and the people skills global chat community this Sunday Feb. 9, 2014 on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to Reveal Your Social Media People Skills Lessons Learned.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

Thank you Kathryn Howell @dogpaddling on Twitter for co-hosting this important topic.

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, and LinkedIn. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your individual insights.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Chat on Twitter #peopleskills this Sunday Feb. 9, 2014 10am ET/7am PT to reveal your social media people skills lessons learned.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. Feb. 9, 2014 in People Skills Global Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) TOPIC: Reveal Your Social Media #Peopleskills Lessons Learned.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

People Skills Chat on Twitter TOPIC: Value of Online Community

WHEN: Sunday Dec. 15, 2013 10AM ET. Hashtag: #peopleskills

Here’s a time converter to assist all of you around the globe in converting 10am ET to your local time.

Background on This People Skills Chat Topic

Many people today belong to one or more online communities. The question is why? What is behind this trend?


People Skills Chat Logo

People Skills Chat on Twitter Dec. 15, 2013. TOPIC: Value of Online Community?

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Join People Skills Chat on Twitter Sun. Dec. 15, 2013 10am ET.

Why do people log on to connect to people they don’t really know? Using our people skills community as a prototype, we will explore this 21st century phenomenon in this week’s people skills chat.

  • What do you expect from an online community?
  • How does it contribute to your work and or life differently from your other interactions?
  • When are you most likely to reach out to online community?
  • Do you prefer to be in online communities that require a certain level of participation or those where you come and go as you like?
  • Getting involved in running community: Volunteer or wait to be asked? Which is better?
  • What activities, behaviors, and rules do you like and dislike in online community?
  • How has being a member of online community impacted you?



These are just some questions to get us thinking before we begin the people skills chat this Sunday. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join us from around the globe this Sunday in people skills chat on Twitter — Dec. 15, 2013 10am ET — to explore People Skills Chat: Value of Online Community?


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

Special thanks to this week’s co-host, inspirational sales coach Dave Moore, to Twitter chat co-moderator Tom Rhodes, and to Google+ people skills community moderator Chantal Bechervise.

Continued gratitude to all who suggest people skills chat topics, participate with their wisdom and perspective, and invite others to join this community.






Hope you will all join #PeopleSkills Twitter chat this Sunday Dec. 15, 2013 10am ET/7am PT to explore Value of Online Community?

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sunday Dec. 15, 2013 10am ET in #PeopleSkills Twitter Chat — Value of Online Community.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

Modern People Skills: Great Tips for Social Media Communication


Social media presents many challenges in communication. Perhaps the greatest challenge is that we are communicating with millions of people who don’t know us.

As we express our opinion to strangers we run head on into the challenge of first — and lasting — impressions. A negative tweet never really disappears from people’s view of us. The good news is that modern people skills can easily handle these challenges.


Modern People Skills: Image is sign "Strangers Hall"

Modern People Skill for Social Media Greatness image by: ell brown on Flickr.

Grateful for image by ell brown via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Modern People Skills Reminders for Social Media Greatness

Modern people skills apply the value of traditional civility to modern day communication challenges.


Create and preserve a positive authentic image!

  1. If it sounds like an order, it can turn people off. When we add the word please, it becomes a request.

  2. If a connection’s general behavior is a bother, we have the choice to unfollow/unfriend them. This may be a better choice than issuing them an order that everyone sees. One Twitter connection tweeted at me, stop tweeting quotes about …! Everyone could see his command. What impression of him does it create and leave with all those who read it?

  3. Many people see sarcasm as a form of anger. The less they know us, the greater the chance they see it this way when it’s directed at them. This traditional belief applies to modern people skills: If we can’t say something in a civil way, don’t say it now.

  4. Questioning people’s motives — even with formality — can sound accusatory. “May I inquire as to why you are doing this?” sets a condescending tone requesting justification. A more relaxed question can get the same information while projecting a positive image, “I’d like to understand this better. Can we chat or email about it?” Easy does it! Modern people skills honor everyone’s need for care and consideration.

  5. Stating opinion as fact can leave a negative impression; stating opinion as opinion can invite a healthy positive exchange of opinions! Mutual respect is still a key part of modern people skills.

  6. We leave a positive impression by owning our own feelings instead of assigning them to others. Statements like, “You are trying to discredit my opinion” can come across as insecure and childish. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt: “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” If people are discussing and debating your opinion, engage in the discussion by creatively restating it and positively conversing with others.

  7. People see listening and discussing as a positive sign of strength and openness. Arguing, bashing, and condemning can leave scars on those bashed — and on our image — for a very long time.

  8. Take extra care in the early days of building relationships. Don’t assume that strangers will see complete frankness in a good light. It is actually a privilege others give us as we earn their trust.

    Relationships and the trust they build give interpersonal context to what is said. Without those preexisting relationships, raw authenticity can come across as rude, self-absorbed, boorish, rigid, disagreeable, and even bullying.


  9. Many would like to believe that authenticity — at any length — wins the day. Some go even further and claim that civility and authenticity are at odds. They aren’t. Modern people skills reminder: We can be authentic and civil at the same time!.


Civility provides a cushion of respect that enables listening and acceptance of an authentic honest message. Bluntness provides no cushion and our image can come crashing down! Modern people skills reminder: Words can woo or wound; create bonds, not scars.


What modern people skills reminder will you add to this list?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Related Post:
Honesty May Hurt but Blunt Burns Forever
7 Steps From Brutally Blunt to Helpfully Honest

©2012-2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

People skills Twitter Chat TOPIC: 21st Century Communication Choices Hashtag: #peopleskills

WHEN: Sunday August 4, 2013 10AM EDT.

Here’s a time converter to assist all of you around the globe in converting 10am EDT to your local time.

Background on This Chat Topic

Today’s many communications choices definitely give us more opportunities to communicate. Is that all positive? Or does it make it more difficult to communicate well? That is the question that we will explore in this Sunday’s people skills chat on Twitter.


My thanks to communication specialist, Panteli Tritchew for suggesting the topic, brainstorming questions, and co-hosting this Sunday.



People Skills Twitter Chat Logo

People Skills Twitter Chat: 21st Century Communication Choices

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Join People Skills Twitter Chat Sun. Aug. 4, 2013 10am EDT.

Take time to reflect, assess, and discuss the impact of so many communication choices?

  • How do you know which mechanism to use with someone else?
  • When does the mechanism you use affect the message and the result?
  • What are all the factors you consider when choosing a communication mechanism?
  • How does emotional intelligence affect your communication choice?
  • Face-to-face and voice-to-voice — do they still hold some special power?



These are just some questions to get us thinking before we begin the people skills chat this Sunday.

So bring your personal perspective, your coffee, tea, or other favorite beverage and join us around the globe this weekend in the USA — Sunday Aug. 4, 2013 at 10am ET — to explore the 21st Century Communication Choices & People Skills.


I also invite you continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community to be a part of all the people skills discussions not just on Sundays but everyday 24×7.



Shout Out of Gratitude

A big thank you to all the newcomers to this chat and to those who participate each week and expand our understanding and view of people skills.






Hope you will all join in the #PeopleSkills Twitter chat to explore 21st Century Communication Choices and People Skills, this Sunday Aug. 4, 2013 10am EDT/7am PDT.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Twitter Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. Twubs will insert the hashtag automatically for you and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are OneQube, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sunday Aug. 4, 2013 10am EDT in #PeopleSkills Twitter Chat: 21st Century Communication Choices and People Skills!


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

People skills give your occupational skills the power to succeed with others.  You can have tremendous expertise in any field and yet fall short of your goals if your behavior offends others. 


One of the worst people skills mistakes is to presume that bluntness is acceptable to others.  Bluntness must be invited.  It is based on trust.  When you assume it’s OK to be blunt, you are demanding trust instead of first building trust. 


Professionals with great people skills use caring honesty instead of bluntness.  Over time they build trusting relationships that may invite and allow bluntness (an emotion filled perspective).


Here is a recent true story. It illustrates what happens when you throw out all professional people skills and use uninvited bluntness.  What’s your view on the effectiveness of the email below?

People Skills: Image is the word TRUST

People Skills Secret to Success: Uninvited Bluntness Loses

Image by: Sweet Dreamz Design via Flickr Creative Commons License.

People Skills: Uninvited Bluntness – Wins or Loses?

Here’s what happened today to a very accomplished graphics designer.  She, by the way, has outstanding people skills as well as masterful graphics ability.  She is very successful, widely respected, and highly ranked in her field and on social media.  A PR pro approached her via email suggesting that some of her own clients might want to use the graphics designer’s services.  Here’s the email.



“Dear _____. I dropped by your site again tonight and noticed you did a little housekeeping. Brava! When I visited the other website you sponsor, it’s hardly professional, has extremely low traffic ranking, and is horribly designed.

For the high quality of work you do, I wouldn’t associate you with such a clearly amateur site.  And I’m not certain if I’d mentioned it previously but at least for the sake of page load time, it would benefit you greatly to redo your site into a WordPress CMS. It would load faster and lay out on multiple pages and increase your site page hits. You already have the graphics and while you’re the graphics specialist, I’m the web girl. Talk to me if you want to fast forward to much easier website management for yourself on the back end. It would also make for a better experience for your visitors.

I have clients that may want to use your services.

Thank you.”



People Skills Related Questions

  1. What would you think of the PR pro if you received this email?
  2. Does this PR pro sounds like a “pro” to you?
  3. What is this pro’s main message?
  4. How effectively does she deliver the message?
  5. Would you want to connect and work with this person?


People Skills Rewrite

What if the email were worded this way …



“I dropped by your main site tonight. Your graphics design work is outstanding. I see your graphics genius throughout your portfolio. I have great ideas for you on improving the performance of your websites regarding layout, viewing ease, and load time. Let’s combine your graphics expertise with my “web” know-how. I can also make the back-end website management easier and help you create an even better experience for your visitors.

I do have clients that may want your graphics design services and would love to talk to you soon. Is Monday a possibility?

Truly looking forward to it! Thank you.”



People Skills Principles That Win

  • Find out if someone wants your tough advice before you give it.
  • Speak the negative as positive improvements. This shows you to be helpful not critical.
  • Use confidence; it sustains others. Avoid arrogance; it burdens others.
  • Civility and tact don’t weaken a message; they help others embrace it.
  • Allow for differences of opinion. Stating opinion as fact makes you seem closed-minded and boorish.
  • Show basic respect to all. Patronizing adults weakens your influence.


The first email patronizes the graphics designer by applauding her website clean-up. That’s like saying to someone, “I see you cleaned your house. Bravo.” She calls the graphics designer’s second website amateurish and then offers help. This broadcasts a desire for power not the ability to collaborate.

People skills give your occupational skills the power to succeed with others. That’s far better than trying to seize power. Here’s to success through great people skills!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Post:
7 Steps from Brutally Blunt to Helpfully Honest

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

People skills Twitter Chat: March 10th, 2013. TOPIC: #Peopleskills in Social Media WHEN: Sunday, 10AM EDT/3pm GMT.


People Skills Twitter Chat Logo

People Skills Twitter Chat: Online #Peopleskills in Social Media

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser.


When you think about how much time we spend online today, people skills in social media are worth exploring. Emails, texts, and social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, Google hangouts, offer us many chances to successfully or unsuccessfully connect.

What makes the difference? People skills which include emotional intelligence, communication, manners, and etiquette.

Let’s gather this Sunday March 10th and explore online people skills.



People Skills Twitter Chat – Online & Social Media Do’s & Don’ts.

  • What online #peopleskills challenges have you seen or experienced?
  • How do your online goals affect your #peopleskills behaviors?
  • Where/when are #socialmedia #peopleskills extremely important?
  • What are main #peopleskills differences between face-to-face and online?
  • What online #peopleskills DO’s are high on your list?
  • How have great online #peopleskills impacted you?
  • What are your #peopleskills DON’Ts in #SocialMedia?
  • IF you could ban ONE online #peopleskills behavior, what would it be?
  • How have your offline #peopleskills helped you online?
  • What #peopleskills advice would you give our youth?
  • What online #peopleskills could our youth teach us?
  • … and much more.



Please join all of us in the People Skills Twitter chat to explore Online and Social Media Do’s and Don’ts!. Hashtag #PeopleSkills Sunday 10am EDT/3pm GMT.

REMINDER: Daylight Savings Time starts in the USA this Sunday March 10th at 2am. Set your clocks ahead one hour — maybe before you go to sleep Saturday night. For those in the UK, your clocks don’t change until the end of March.


We have only one rule in People Skills Twitter Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree. Everyone is welcome!


TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. Tweetchat will insert the hashtag automatically for you and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Hootsuite.com and TweetDeck.com.

I am the moderator of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sunday March 10, 2013 in People Skills Twitter Chat – #Peopleskills in Social Media & Online Communication!


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

People skills can be used for good or for evil. When we use people skills with integrity, we lift everyone to new heights of success and happiness. 


Those who use people skills for purely selfish gain, manipulate instead of influence.  They are egocentric chameleons.


I posed a question on social media: What do you think when you hear the phrase people skills? Answers varied. Yet enough people replied “manipulation, chameleon, fake” that I am inspired to write this post.


People skills are not a synonym for manipulation. The difference lies in:


Integrity & Authenticity


People Skills Integrity Shown as Mountain Spring

People Skills Integrity & Authenticity Image by: MattNJohnson

People Skills Integrity & Authenticity

It is important not to mislabel all people skills as fake. People skills filled with integrity can create possibilities that no other skill can achieve.

Being suspect of all people skills builds a culture of mistrust that demoralizes. The pessimism drains the spirit from life and the possibility out of business success.


People skills with integrity …

  • Are the bridge to understanding
  • Honor others’ ideas without surrendering ours
  • Turn divisive camps into high performing teams
  • Develop customer loyalty
  • Enable collaboration for innovation
  • Ease the pain of change & boost commitment
  • Enhance leadership results
  • Engage employees to maximum contribution


People Skills Authenticity

Authenticity in people skills seems to raise an even greater debate than integrity.

How can we be authentic and still adapt to others? Isn’t that the definition of a chameleon? Don’t you lose yourself in adapting to others?

Nope. Adapting doesn’t mean surrender nor a masquerade.

Adapting is …

  • A pause to understand, not a change in identity
  • A discovery of what is better together, than alone
  • A juncture of common ground not complete capitulation
  • An exploration of self growth not submission to a conqueror
  • A temporary accommodation to each others’ need for mutual gain

Image by: MattNJohnson via Creative Commons License.

When we adapt to customers’ needs, there is mutual gain.
When we accommodate differences in personality types, we live and work better together.
When we seek to understand team members, we lead and collaborate with greater success.
When we explore how others view the world, we grow beyond our existing limitations.



Certainly when we spot scam artists, selfish boors, and egotists that pound our spirit, we can choose not to adapt nor accommodate them. Once burned, twice learned. These folks operate without integrity. Healthy skepticism is warranted.


Yet we needn’t shut down our people skills to guard against these moments. We can combine our people skills with intellect, practical experience, and intuition for magnificent success in work and true happiness in life.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™


Related Posts:
People Skills – Showing True Empathy
12 Most Beneficial People Skills for Success When You Have Little Power
What’s So Hot About Humility Anyway?

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

There is a phrase becoming popular in the customer service world that threatens both the customers and all of us in the profession. It’s a phrase we need to decry and banish from our vocabulary especially in the powerful world of social media.

The phrase we need to remove is: “Fire the customer!”



Superior Customer Service: Remove Threat of One Phrase Image by:Quinn Dombrowski

This threatening phrase:

  • Diminishes our integrity instead of building trust
  • Undermines our caring purpose rather than succeeding through care
  • Broadcasts selfishness and greed vs. radiating greatness
  • Declares customer service to be a power struggle instead of a partnership
  • Makes all customers who read it more defensive instead of cooperative
  • Teaches a new generation of customer service professionals a skewed view
  • Projects a tug-of-war mindset rather than a winning collaboration




Are there times when we can’t meet a customer’s need or expectation? Sure.
Yet how we part company — and speak about — echoes our brand throughout the global reach of social media.

For those business owners proudly using the phrase “fire the customer” all over Twitter, Facebook, and beyond, it’s worth a moment to consider an alternative.

The times I have not been able to continue with a customer, I have said:

“Although I cannot meet your needs and must pass on this opportunity, I wish you success …”



I am not “firing the customer”, as the current threatening phrase likes to power tout. I am firing myself! How we say things in difficult moments affects the future of our brand.


Current customers and social media tell future customers what we believe; they wonder how we will treat them. Every tweet, every post, every statement tells the world what we think of customers as a whole.

Customers talk about us too; what they say is actually up to us!



I vote to give superior customer service — not to be superior over customers. What do you want customers to say about you and your brand?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Free Your Mind to Give Superior Customer Service in Difficult Situations
What Do We Want Customers to Feel, Experience, and Remember?

©2012 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

Every so often I write about specific words or phrases that can ruin an interaction or destroy your professional people-skills image in one quick moment. Most of them are subtly insulting, evasive, and/or manipulative.



Today’s deadly phrase is:

Don’t You Think?



It is a statement masquerading as a question.

It sneakily demands agreement while posing as an option.

It is high pressure with low integrity.

It blocks listening by starting with a negative.

It pretends to engage yet disengages.






Professional People Skills: Replace The Deadly Don't You Think Image by:Funny T-Shirts




“Don’t You Think”

  • Makes you look like the great pretender.
  • Suggests others’ views are unimportant or stupid.
  • Makes you seem narrow minded or bull headed.
  • Subordinates others to you.



A close cousin of “don’t you think” — “I’m sure you agree”– has the same passive aggressive vibe and negative effect on your professional people-skills image and on other people.




Better People-Skills Alternatives

  • I think … If you are going to express your opinion, state it clearly as your opinion. Transferring your opinion to others as “don’t you think”, is presumptuous, patronizing, and rude.
  • What do you think of … This simple question opens true respectful dialogue that can lead to new options, positive relationships, and true agreement. Feedback turns a monologue into dialogue and true communication.
  • What if we … In casual conversations where you might use “don’t you think”, this alternative has a positive tone and invites feedback instead of demanding agreement.



Whether you are a new graduate beginning your career, a seasoned team member establishing new relationships, or a leader building employee engagement, a “don’t you think” will keep you from the prize of positive interaction.

Instead, establish an authentic, respectful, open-minded reputation through every word you say.

Your professional people-skills prowess will open doors to opportunities you never dreamed possible.


Question: Is there another word or phrase that you would add to the deadly list?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Professional People-Skills: Change One Unfortunate Word
The Perfect Apology and the ONE Word That Destroys It

©2012 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

How long do you think customers will wait for information and answers? Well Google engineers have found that for people surfing the Web, even 400 milliseconds (the blink of an eye) is too long. Wow.

Now picture your typical customer, pressured for a solution. Double wow.

This age of instant information has increased customers’ expectations of front line customer service knowledge and of the CSRs, agents, and technical support reps (TSRs) that deliver it.

Super Customer Experience: In the Blink of an Eye. Ready? Image by:miuenski

Are Your Front Line Teams Tooled & Ready?

Super Customer Experience Info Checklist

  • Can your front line reps see what the customers see on the Web? Can they at least see your own company website? In my consulting work, I often here the incredible answer, no.

    I ask, why not? “Because we don’t want them to surf the net. Only the teams that monitor social media can see the Web.” Huh?

    Wake up call from customers: “If we can see it, we expect front line reps to be able to see it too!”


  • Do the front line agents and all other teams use the same tracking system software (without cumbersome interfaces that create errors)? For a super customer experience, customers expect that all involved in delivering service will be able to see what they need.

    Checkpoint: How many of your customers are dissatisfied because your service and support teams cannot access the same customer information? In today’s world of instant information, the customers don’t even think this could be happening. Instead, they just think you don’t care about them.


  • Do your front line technical support reps have remote control to the customers’ desktops? For customers with computer problems, remote control as an option has eliminated their stress, sped up problem solving, and increased their satisfaction. Many customers will grant permission for the rep to use remote control, yet many front line teams don’t have it.

    Advice: Give front line technical support reps remote control. Don’t let organizational politics, internal turf wars, and hierarchical structure keep this wonderful technology from the front line.

    Customers tolerance for front line technical support reps who can only route tickets to problem solvers continues to decrease. In today’s world of instant information, it seems antiquated and illogical and a far cry from a super customer experience!



It can be a big challenge in large companies to have seamless integration of systems and information. Yet the technology is available to make it happen and customers assume you will have shared information.

They expect it, in the blink of an eye, for super customer experience.

Will this challenge make it to the top of your 2012 goal list? They surely hope so!




Question:

As a customer, what other information would you want and expect the front line teams to have?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Customer Experience: Customers & Us in Harmony
Does Customer Service Fix Failure or Build Success

©2012 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please first email info@katenasser.com for terms of use. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on customer service experience, teamwork, and leading change. She turns interaction obstacles into business success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. BS Mathematics. Masters Organizational Psychology. Former techie!!

Customer experience surveys have been standard procedure for most businesses and corporations for many years. The delivery mechanism and the assessment of answers have gone high tech.

Yet there is one super opportunity to improve every customer experience survey and it requires a double vision.

We generally think of the customer experience survey as a way to understand our customers. Yet the survey itself also speaks volumes to our customers about our customer service and experience philosophy.

Customer Experience Survey: Biggest Opportunity to Improve Image by:noluck

We think about what our customers are telling us. That’s good! Yet what is our customer experience survey telling our customers about us?

The quick answer might be that we care enough to ask their opinions. OK, that’s a start.  Yet do we really ask their opinions?

Does the typical customer experience survey ask for true opinions for improvement or mostly for votes?  There are the comment sections yet do customers receive a timely response? Do comments turn into corrective action?

Social media has become the venue for customers to get a response.  It begs the question, why haven’t customer experience surveys played the same role? As a customer, I fill out many surveys with concrete suggestions. I never hear anything back nor see results from my survey energy.  What has been your experience as a customer?

Does the customer experience survey measure what we in business care about or what our customers care about?

Or do the primarily structured survey questions broadcast that we think we know what’s most important? When we don’t respond to suggestions, does it say we don’t care? Or worse, that customers have to complain in public via social media to get a timely response?


Super Opportunity for the Customer Experience Survey
Acknowledge that the survey markets our customer experience philosophy and make every survey a two-way street.

  1. Ask: What do you think of this customer experience survey?
  2. Ask: Does it reflect what’s important to you?
  3. Ask: What would you add to this survey? What would you eliminate?
  4. Ask: What would make it easier to complete this survey?
  5. Invite customers to help redesign the customer experience survey.
  6. Connect the experience dots: Have social media teams review and respond to customer experience surveys A customer shouldn’t have to complain — and in public no less — to get our attention. If we respond to suggestions before the complaint, it says we truly care.

  7. EXAMPLES

    Lengthy hotel surveys ask many voting style questions in multiple categories yet often do not ask questions that relate to special needs.
    ——-
    They ask much about the appearance of the lobby yet nothing about the comfort of the desk chair in the room where customers spend time working on their laptops.

    Retail exchange forms with online clothing purchases ask the reason code for the return. Many of the reasons are valuable to improving future buying experience.
    ——–
    The one blatantly missing is: “I don’t like how the garment looks on me.” If online retail wants to create the true clothing buying experience, this addition would speak volumes. Else this customer experience survey says, we don’t care about the bigger picture of how you look.




We can reinvent the customer experience survey to produce more than a metric based scorecard. We can have it reflect an open door that truly welcomes, listens to, and responds to customers’ feedback in a timely manner.

We can even have it be the vehicle of valuable dialogue, two-way understanding, and trusted exchange that builds long term loyalty.

Are you ready to review your customer experience survey? I’m ready to help you with objective insight.

From professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™


Related Posts:
Customer Experience Super Blooms When We Flex.
The Best Customer Experience: Customers & Us in Harmony

©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please first email info@katenasser.com for terms of use. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on customer service, customer experience, teamwork, and leading change. She turns interaction obstacles into business success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

When has fear kept you stuck in a rut? At a fork in the road in your career? When your business stagnates in a bad economy? In a dead end situation that others tell you to leave?

As a coach, I hear clients describe their ruts. Fear has them stuck like gum on a shoe. Meanwhile one single step can remove the gum and get them moving.


Don't Let Fear Be the Gum on Your Shoe Image by:Mahalie



When you want success, know you must change yet feel stuck, don’t let fear be the gum on your shoe.

Break free by finding people who have been through something similar — who no longer have gum on their shoes of course — who will share the steps that got the gum off their shoes!

It sounds obvious and here’s the logic.


  1. Fear of taking a step is lessened by learning from those who have survived the step.
  2. Fear of the unknown is countered by those who now know the unknown.
  3. Fear of acting oddly during the change turns to knowing smiles when you hear how they felt and behaved.
  4. Fear of being wrong crumbles under the evidence of their experience.
  5. Fear of being alone on the journey is eliminated when you travel it through their success.



Well established support groups and their members thrive on these principles. Still many people have issues not defined by any established support group.

Fear not. Online chatters, social media friends, bloggers, authors, and professional coaches all have life experiences to share.

My graphics designer, Kimb Tiboni, has chronicled her Illogical Success with personal insight and real life experiences. I have overcome business hurdles and gained inspiration through friends, coaches, and Twitter chats.


Take one step now and leave your story in the comments section below:

    One rut you broke out of and how you did it and/or
    One rut you want to break out of and two answers you seek.



You want success? Don’t let fear be the gum on your shoe! Reach out and step forward in your life, career, and business.


What stops people from reaching out — when it’s so obvious that it is key to success?

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™


©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on customer service, teamwork, and leading change. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

When you get busy with success your focus changes and trouble lurks if it blinds you completely. When your career or business finally takes off, do you?


Do you forget people who have formally or informally mentored you?
Do you abandon friendships?

Do you recoil when others who helped you now ask for your help? Do you leave people while telling yourself you are still there?

You may have busy blindness!

When Your Career Takes Off - Do You?

Career or Business Takes Off and Causes Busy Blindness!




Signs of Busy Blindness

  1. When asked for a time to network, you reply “I am working mega hours per week and the rest of my time is spent with family.”
  2. You wait to reply to emails until you want to connect?
  3. You send out the December holiday letter summarizing your year to people you overlooked all year
  4. or

  5. Post updates about your life online all year at Facebook or Google + and consider that networking.



Do not despair. Busy blindness is curable.


People-Skills Tips to Cure Busy Blindness

  • Recognize it. Are there people who made time for you when they were busy? When they try to connect with you now, what is your response?

  • Kick your fear that people may want too much time from you. Staying connected doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your success. You still have control over your life.

  • Find 5 minutes each day to connect with one person directly via phone, email, or text. Or at least reply to their outreach in a timely manner.

  • Subscribe to their blogs. Leave an occasional comment so they know you are thinking of them.

  • Oddly enough, ask them for more help. If you are extremely busy, you may find that your network that has helped you before will be glad to help you still. Helpers like to stay connected.

  • Turn off the television. You will be amazed at how much time you discover. [Thanks to Jeffrey Gitomer for that one.]

  • If you aren’t even watching television, you can afford to hire a part time personal assistant to keep track of your networking. This assistant will schedule a calendar of connections for you, help you to follow up, and keep your network on your radar screen.



Perhaps Katie Couric says it best in her new book: The Best Advice I Ever Got: “Today you may be drinking the wine, tomorrow you could be picking the grapes.”

Either way stay close and connected to the vine!
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach


©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Related post: Is Anyone There? by Henry Alford. Source: NY Times.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, delivers workshops, keynotes, and consultations that turn interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. Leaders have been booking Kate for 21 years to fill the gaps of diversity with business wins. See this site for customer results and book Kate now.

It is common in a restaurant for the server or maitre d’ to ask you how you like your meal while you are eating. They gather feedback before you are done. Hotels ask their guests how is their stay going.

There are pearls of wisdom in that approach. Gathering feedback before the finish line gives the customer service provider a clearer picture of the customers’ expectations throughout the delivery of service. This tremendously increases the chance for customer satisfaction.

Then why do customer service providers rarely gather feedback during a phone call or webchat? They often ask a customer to stay on the line after the call or chat to complete a feedback survey. Isn’t that a bit late for that customer’s satisfaction?

Customers’ feedback are little pearls that your reps and agents can string together into customer satisfaction before the finish of the call or chat.

Customer Service Feedback Before the Finish Line

I propose that the customers’ would love to give feedback before the finish line. Why else would they use Social Media like Twitter and Facebook when customer service is failing them?

I ask for feedback while I am consulting with clients — face to face, on the phone, or online in a webinar or videoconference. When I am delivering customer service & team building workshops, I ask for feedback at breaks and lunch to see what they are thinking.

Picture your reps or agents asking customers — “how’s my service so far?”

It makes customer service a dialogue — an engagement of the customers’ views during the process. Empowered reps and agents can then adjust their delivery to meet the customers’ needs.

Social media is engaging your customers more than ever before. Are you? Engage them and gather some pearls during the calls and chats.

Business Benefits

  1. Dynamic in-the-moment low cost learning about customers’ needs and expectations
  2. Creating a loyal customer through listening to them and reaching their finish line
  3. Preventing a dissatisfied customer (who seeks an audience) bashing your brand on Social Media
  4. Creating memorable moments instead of routine actions — customers remember moments and your brand!

One simple question, “How’s my service so far?” to change course and turn customer service into customer engagement.

Gathering feedback before the finish line gives you preventive and proactive success!


What tips for success would you like to share in the comments section below? I welcome your perspective.


©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. For permission to re-post or republish, please email info@katenasser.com.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, delivers customer service and team building workshops that take your people from inspiration to action. Now celebrating 21 years in business, Kate delivers results that are well known in the corporate world. See this site for more information.

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