trust

People Skills Missteps: Not so friendly, friendly advice.


If someone said to you, “I want to offer you some friendly advice”, would your gut reaction to that statement be positive or negative? Friendly advice? What would you expect to hear? Compliments?



The phrase friendly advice is fraught with people skills missteps and peril.




It’s actually a rather aggressive statement disguised as help. It sets the other person up to hear your unsolicited view or appear resistant and closed off. You can end up looking presumptuous, patronizing, or even domineering.


People Skills Missteps: Image is small pumpkin leaning on large pumpkin

People Skills Missteps of Friendly Advice Image by Sea Turtle via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Image by Sea Turtle via Flickr Creative Commons License.

People Skills Missteps: Who is it you are protecting?

Before you make this unnecessary gaffe, think about why you are labelling it friendly advice. Why not just “advice?”

Is it because …

  • you are unsure if they want your advice?
  • you may be overstepping someone’s personal boundary?
  • you are about to say something negative?
  • you want to prevent a negative reaction to what you say?



You can avoid people skills missteps like this by first assessing your intent and view. Considering the advice you are about to give:

  1. How fully do you understand the other person, their goals, philosophy, and mindset?
  2. How often do you use the phrase friendly advice? Frequently? What do you think it says about you?
  3. Are you projecting your values on others and robbing them of their self-expression?
  4. Are you trying to create a clone of yourself?


Avoiding People Skills Missteps: Stay Objective!
Know yourself! Self-awareness and respect for others are powerfully positive tools in preventing people skills missteps.

If you are …

    Highly structured, your friendly advice may skew people that way.
    Free spirited, you may tell people to loosen up.
    Very driven, you may find yourself nudging people to drive harder.



Staying Objective: Before you give advice, practice what you are going to say. Remove the phrase “friendly advice” and say to yourself what you would to say to others. Without the psychological cushion of the phrase “friendly advice”, how does the advice sound to you? Will you appear helpful or presumptuous? Open-minded or domineering?

After that if you are sure you still want to offer your view, omit the phrase friendly advice. Try “here’s my view …” or “here’s how I see it.” It shows ownership of your perspective and respects others’ views.



It’s human to want others to be just like us. Yet this fundamental urge does far more harm than good. Even if someone has asked for advice before, assuming they always want advice is definitely one of the big people skills missteps.


Think of if this way, if we know someone very well and have been their friend for a long time, we don’t need to use the phrase friendly advice. And if we aren’t that close, giving unsolicited advice can tarnish our unique views and talents with presumption.


Question:

How can we warn someone of potential trouble without presuming or patronizing?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

More People Skills Posts:
Avoid 8 Common Causes of People Skills Mistakes
Pleasures That Calm When Dealing With Toxic People

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Celebrate Diversity in People Skills Twitter Chat!

WHEN: Join us Sunday April 13, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



Celebrate Diversity – The Inside Story!

When we here the phrase celebrate diversity, our thoughts often go to workplace programs and equal employment initiatives — worthy and valuable. Let’s expand and deepen that mindset to the diversity of how we live.

Join us Sunday April 13, 2014, 10am EDT in #peopleskills Twitter chat to discover how we can celebrate diversity and embrace its true reach. April is celebrate diversity month which gives us extra momentum going into this exciting topic.



Celebrate Diversity: People skills logo

Celebrate Diversity in People Skills Twitter Chat. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


People Skills Twitter Chat: Celebrate Diversity & Its Reach!

Diversity is not something artificially created by humans. Diversity is the universe. Animals and plants are magnificently diverse. The human mind is rich in diversity. Yet humanity often struggles in diversity.

Join us in global people skills Twitter chat (#Peopleskills) this Sunday April 13th at 10am EDT to explore and discover how we can celebrate diversity and revel in its possibilities. Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • What is the broadest definition of diversity we can construct?
  • How does diversity make you feel?
  • Some people see life as a competition. How does this impact celebrating diversity?
  • What if anything excites you about diversity?
  • Where has diversity had a positive impact on your life and in this world?
  • What emotions impact how people live in diversity?
  • If caution and mistrust protect us from strangers, how can we trust in diversity and still survive?
  • Does diversity cause more cases of struggle or instances of harmony?
  • What role does diversity play in your identity?
  • To celebrate diversity, we must __________________________?
  • How and when do people skills help us to celebrate diversity?



These are just some questions to get us thinking before we begin. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, favorite quotes and stories, a morning beverage, and join us this Sunday April 13, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Global Twitter Chat (hashtag: #peopleskills). Let’s discover how we can revel in and celebrate diversity.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights. Special thanks to the community and chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tom Rhodes, and Tracy Shroyer.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Twitter Chat (#peopleskills) this Sunday April 13, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to Explore, Revel, and Celebrate Diversity!

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. April 13, 2014, 10am EDT as we Celebrate Diversity in People Skills Twitter Chat.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Manipulative People Skills: Presumption Demeans Everyone

Manipulative People Skills: Image is Twisted Balloon in Shape of Poodle

Manipulative People Skills: Presumption Demeans Everyone. Image licensed from Istock.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com.

 

The blogs are abuzz with author Robert Cialdini’s recommendation to replace the generous phrase “you are welcome” with “I know you’d do the same for me.”

Be careful. This statement is very manipulative. Unless you have a very close relationship with someone, it is presumption at its worst. Even with someone you know well, it can blow up in your face.  When someone says thank you, you are welcome is still far and away the better response.

 



Manipulative People Skills: Avoid Declarations Like “I Know You Would”.

Mr. Cialdini claims that you don’t want to miss the potential power you have with someone after they say thank you. Power? Is that your goal? Even if you claim you want influence not power, the presumption of manipulative people skills will damage the very relationship you hope to count on.


“I know you would …”

  • is a command not a request. Hardly polite and very presumptuous. Ask don’t presume. “May I count on you to do the same for me?” It honors the other person’s choice. If you are not comfortable asking for something in return, then definitely don’t presume and demand it!

  • is too late. If you expect something in return for your help, let that be known in advance. Surprising someone with a quid pro quo after they are thanking you for your help is sneaky and disrespectful. Manipulative people skills disrespect others because they hide the truth until the manipulator wants something. Don’t be a manipulator. When someone says thank you, honor them with the simple generous reply of you are welcome or I’m happy to help etc…

  • is arrogant. You can have influence with people through emotional intelligence, empathy, generosity, and honest communication. “I know you would” and its cousin “I’m sure you agree …” are none of those. They say to others, “My assumptions and beliefs are enough. You don’t need to express your opinion or preference. My values should be yours.” How presumptuous! It shapes the relationship heavily one-way — with your rules and expectations. Develop a two-way relationship with mutual input and respect.






Develop strong healthy relationships where influence develops from the respect you earn. Listening, understanding, empathy, and generosity of heart will take you further than assumptions, presumption, and manipulative people skills!


What do you think is the long term impact of manipulative people skills?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
People Skills Integrity & Authenticity
12 Most Beneficial People Skills Behaviors to Influence Others
Avoid 8 Common Causes of People Skills Mistakes

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

People Skills Leadership Chat – Have We Gone Past the Tough Guy Image?

WHEN: Join us Sunday March 30, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



Background on This People Skills Leadership Chat

Business leaders, is our definition of great leadership still tied to the tough guy image? Many say that leadership has evolved over the decades as the economy expanded from assembly lines to the information and technology age. Yet I see vestiges of the gotta be tough with others mentality in many leaders. It makes me ask the question, is it still a (hidden) part of the definition of great leadership? Have leaders absorbed this and made it part of their identity?

Join us Sunday March 30, 2014, 10am EDT in #peopleskills Twitter chat to explore leadership people skills – the tough guy image. My co-host will be Chantal Bechervaise, Human Resources specialist with endless passion for learning. Chantal is also a moderator of the Google+ people skills community.



People Skills Leadership Chat: People skills logo

People Skills Leadership Chat March 30. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


People Skills Leadership Chat: Losing Tough Guy Image

As businesses embrace a new generation of workers, as they require more employee engagement to truly succeed, exploring people skills leadership issues is critical.

Join us in global people skills Twitter chat (#Peopleskills) this Sunday March 30th at 10am EDT to explore it. Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • What is your definition of great leadership?
  • How does toughness play into the definition? Internal strength or external roughness?
  • Where if at all do you see vestiges of the tough guy leadership image?
  • How has the tough guy image impacted women and mentoring women leaders?
  • Do you want leaders to show humility, humanity or ___________?
  • Can a humble leader be a great leader? Why do many people say no?
  • Emotions: What role do they play in great leadership?
  • Would you be comfortable with a leader who shows emotion during a crisis?
  • What’s the difference between a strong leader and a tough leader?



These are just some questions to get us thinking before we begin. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join me and the people skills global chat community this Sunday March 30, 2014, 10am EDT on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to explore People Skills Leadership – Losing the Tough Guy Image!


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights. Special thanks to the community and chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tom Rhodes, and Tracy Shroyer.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Twitter Chat (#peopleskills) this Sunday March 30, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT/2pm GMT to explore the People Skills Leadership – Losing the Tough Guy Image.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. March 30, 2014, 10am EDT in people skills global Twitter chat to explore: People Skills Leadership – Losing the Tough Guy Image.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Service Recovery, Goes Far Beyond Problem Solving!


Customers hope for no problems. Yet problems arise. Nothing is perfect. When they do, customer service recovery is the hot landing zone for success.


To meet customers’ expectations in that zone, we must know what customer service recovery is and build a culture including everyone — not just the front line. Some leaders define service recovery as “resolve the problem”. They apply great resources to it. They are stunned when customers leave despite the problem resolution. They wonder what customer expectations they missed.


Customer Service Recovery: Image are lights of airplane landing.

Customer Service Recovery Landing Zone for Success. Image by: Echo9er

Image by Echo9er via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Service Recovery Requires Far More Than Problem Solving

Here’s what these leaders missed in defining and delivering service recovery. In addition to solving the problem, we must …

  1. Illustrate Commitment.

    When customers experience trouble, our every move has to show total commitment to them. Ask yourself: What are we committed to? Standard procedures and processes? Organizational structure? Or the customers’ success?

    Good sense service recovery: Show commitment to the customers. Give them attention and make it easy for them! In the hot zone, replace routine everyday procedures with full focus on the customers as well as their problems. All the problem solving behind the scenes won’t rebuild trust if we ignore the customers and inflict more pain along the way.


  2. Work With Credibility.

    Leaders, credibility hinges on ownership and empowerment. Committed empowered team members with customer service people skills can deliver excellent service recovery. Non-empowered team members will fall short. Why?

    Because they can’t convince customers that the organization is owning the problem. They will always seem like smiling gatekeepers not capable customer advocates. During service recovery, this inflames the situation. Customers believe no one cares and nobody is doing anything. They leave with frustration and bad memories.

    Good sense service recovery: Empower team members with information. Give them permission to work across departments for credible service recovery. Else customers believe we care more about our company’s structure than we do them. Why should they return and be loyal?


  3. Collaborate and Team Up.

    If your business is comprised of structured silos, collaboration and teamwork can be the weak spot in service recovery. You can’t just give permission to an employee to work with another team. The other teams must welcome it and collaborate too.

    Good sense service recovery: If the top leader has asked you to lead service recovery improvements for the organization, engage your management and leadership peers. Work together to identify all teamwork obstacles to service recovery. Their teams must all deliver service recovery. These leaders and managers must help craft it.

    If your peers resist, it can be a sign that your organization’s commitment to service recovery is painfully weak. Rigid managers who protect their domain are placing internal politics ahead of customer well-being and the company’s success.


  4. Communicate Throughout the Process.

    Lack of information and sparse communication kill service recovery. Think of the pain it inflicts on customers. They can’t move on to achieve their goals. They feel helpless, incapable, and even panicky and desperate. It puts them on hold completely. Many think that not knowing is the worst. They see it as the height of selfish uncaring behavior.

    Good sense service recovery: There is no excuse for lack of communication. Keep customers informed throughout the process to show them you are owning the problem and working on it. If you have a resolution plan in place to solve some of the bigger problems, communicate it. Solving the problem is not enough.


  5. Show We Care.

    How we communicate makes all the difference. Our words and tone of voice either speak our commitment or show we don’t care.

    Good sense service recovery: Provide customer service people skills training. It turns everyday communication into professional service recovery skill. Deliver it to all teams not just the front line. How teams speak to each other affects the total effort and the service results. It is the difference between a customer centric culture and a non-empowered front line.





Important Questions from Leaders

In the 25 years I have been consulting and training on service recovery, leaders most often ask:

  • Must we do years of work to establish the customer centric culture before we train our teams on service recovery people skills? Answer: You can do it simultaneously. Caring communication is so important that the sooner you do it, the less pain you inflict on customers. The training also helps to create the customer centric culture although training alone can’t do it.

  • How do we explain to non-customer facing teams the value of service recovery skills training? Stress that how we think drives our behavior. Service recovery people skills training focuses on mindset, teamwork, and how to communicate with each other — not just with customers.

  • How can we ensure team members use what they learn? In the training, use customer situations that actually occur in your company. Engage the team members in the training; don’t just lecture and tell. Model the behavior yourselves. Lastly, ask the team to come up with ways to keep the learning alive. Will they make reminder cards? Will they start each day with one tip from the training? Will they share lessons learned each day? There are many ways. Let them wow themselves, you, and of course the customers!


What service recovery questions do you have or tips would you like to share?



We can make service recovery great and easy!



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leaders, Can Your Teams Ace This Service Recovery Moment?
Customer Service Recovery, Use People Skills to Deliver vs Defend


©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Business People Skills: Can You See Your Ins & Outs? Others Can!


Business People Skills: Image is multi-color sign words are connection openness.

Business People Skills: Welcome In or Stay Out? Image by PSD via Flickr.

Grateful for image by PSD via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Business People Skills: People Can See If You Are Letting Them In

Many actions tell people if you truly want to connect with them or keep them at a distance. It matters in leadership and teamwork. It very much matters with customers. What signals are you sending? “Yes, let’s work together?” or “I’m not so interested.”


Have any of the following behaviors hurt your business people skills? They are easy to check and to keep in check. The effort is well worth it. Success comes with others — not alone.



  1. Mentioned in 2 minute video above.
  2. Mentioned in video above.
  3. Mentioned in video above.

  4. The need to be right. When people must have last word on everything, they come across as insecure, even arrogant. They are also sending the message — stay out! Closed-minded portrays as closed off. How do your business people skills portray you?

  5. Too much talking or too much silence. When people talk and talk and talk, it paints them as self-absorbed. It also communicates “stay out”. Too much silence can paint the same picture and send the same message. Many mistakenly believe that silence shows incredible interest and welcomes others in. Yet, silence isn’t always golden. It can also seem like disinterest. Seek balance. Engage in dialogue.

  6. Lots of absolutes and generalizations. Absolutes are rarely true. They often discourage discussion and connection. Generalizations about people also shut out connection and learning. Treat each person as the unique individual they are. Learn about them. It says “Let’s engage.” That portrays great business people skills.

  7. Being distracted & multitasking. When people don’t give their full attention, the message is partially — stay out. No matter how great the claim about their ability to multitask, the message they are sending is far from welcome. If you give partial attention, you are communicating a “stay out” message. Apologize for being distracted and refocus. That says “I welcome you in.”

  8. Immediately redirecting people to written material. I’ve seen this frequently in online networking. I receive a LinkedIn invitation to join someone’s network. I initially look at the person’s profile to learn more about them. If I accept the invitation, I send a thank you message highlighting something from their profile and asking them some questions to learn more. More than once, I got this reply: “The best way to learn more about me is to go to my website.”

    Really? Instead of interacting and learning about each other? The business people skills message was: “I don’t want to interact.” Then why invite people to join your network? Do you want to welcome people in or keep them out? Engage in discussion to network and uncover new business opportunities!



When a situation calls for extreme caution, it’s wise to be slow to trust. Yet closed off with no trust can’t reveal whom you can trust. Business people skills can light the way and do just that!






Do your business people skills more often welcome people in or keep them out?



What tips will you add to the list from your world of connections?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Avoid These 8 Common Causes of Business People Skills Mistakes
Career Success: Are You Rockin’ w/ These 13 People Skills
12 Signs You Have to Be Right! on Alli Polin’s Break The Frame blog.

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Your Identity: #Peopleskills Twitter Chat on How You Impact Others

WHEN: Join us Sunday March 9, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time. Here in the USA, we switch to daylight savings time this weekend, March 9th. We move our clocks ahead one hour. So 10am EDT is the equivalent of 9am EST. Our chat begins at 10am EDT.



Background on This People Skills Twitter Chat

I’ve always loved Walt Whitman’s poem “O Me! O Life!” in which he asks basically what good are we in life.

His answer: “That you are here — that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.” What is your identity? What verse will you contribute to human interaction? How will the powerful play go on because of you?

Join us March 9, 2014, 10am EDT in #peopleskills Twitter chat to explore how identity contributes to the powerful play of human interaction.

Joining me as co-host is Dr. Hoda Maalouf, university professor with an incredible passion for human development, learning, and a peaceful world.



Your Identity: People skills logo

Impact of Identity: People Skills Chat March 9th, 2014. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


The Impact of Your Identity: Explore in People Skills Twitter Chat

What does each of us contribute to human interaction? Do we think about our identity and then live our actions from there? What verse do we want to contribute to life on this earth?

Join our global people skills Twitter chat (#Peopleskills) this Sunday March 9th at 10am EDT. Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • How is mindfulness involved in our people skills identity?
  • For what ONE people skills trait would you like to be known?
  • How do others see you?
  • Where has your identity and your people skills taken you in this life thus far?
  • How have your hopes, dreams, values fashioned your people skills identity and contribution to this life?
  • What song, saying, book title, poem, play, or movie best describes your identity?
  • What verse will you contribute to the ‘powerful play of life’?



These are just some questions to get us thinking before we begin. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join me, my co-host @MaaHoda, and the people skills global chat community this Sunday March 9th, 2014, 10am EDT on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to explore The Impact of Your Identity.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

Thank you Hoda Maalouf, for co-hosting this people skills chat on “Impact of Identity”.

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter, hashtag #peopleskills, Google+, and LinkedIn. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your individual insights.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Twitter Chat (#peopleskills) this Sunday March 9, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to explore the impact of your identity.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. March 9, 2014, 10am EDT in people skills global Twitter chat to explore “The Impact of Your Identity”.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership Sincerity: Sincerely Yours or Powerfully Yours?


Very few people want passive aggressive leaders. It’s frustrating, confusing, perhaps even maddening. We want them to, say what they mean and mean what they say! Right? Engage in leadership sincerity and authenticity.

Yet how can leaders say what they mean and mean what they say without the risk of being derisive, rude, and disrespectful? Anyone can authentically and selfishly blast out their candor. That’s weak-willed bullying. No one wants that.

The answer is simple. Leadership sincerity! It is honesty delivered with civility. It is courage, humility, and respect in magnetic balance. It draws everyone in. It energizes thought, engagement, and contribution. It is sincerely yours.


Leadership Sincerity: Image is stone w/ words sincerity humility courage.

Leadership Sincerity: Are You Leading w/ Honesty & Civility? Image by mstephens7 via Flickr.

Image by mstephens7 via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Leadership Sincerity: Sincerely Yours Not Powerfully Yours

Leaders, which message do you want your words and actions to communicate: sincerely yours or powerfully yours? What’s the difference? In either case, you can be honest and authentic. Well the effect is quite different. Sincerely yours sustains everyone’s morale and momentum. Powerfully yours, breeds power struggles and saps commitment.

Try sincerely yours to be authentic without being obnoxious…

  • Communicate with honesty and civility.

    Prepare with honesty. Deliver with civility. Honesty is what you are say and civility is how you say it. Civility doesn’t weaken the authenticity of the message. It helps everyone to hear it with less resistance. Since they don’t feel insulted or attacked, they listen to your message vs. detouring to escape it.


  • Be confident in your message and humble in delivering it.

    Humility and civility make even tough honesty palatable. Recently, I had to remind a people skills community member not to post messages on the community page selling her company’s products and services. I explained the guideline, the reason, and suggested she do as I do — place product information on her own social media page. Even though I started the community, I hold myself to the same standard.


  • Reach ‘em don’t preach ‘em.

    Before you speak, ask yourself if you are preaching to them or reaching them. Preaching has the sub-message, “I know more than you.” Reaching out respects others while communicating honestly. If you’re not sure which way you come across, ask for feedback. You can also watch how often you deliver negative messages vs. positive ones. If you communicate the negative far more often, your mindset may be in preach mode. Leadership sincerity is the big picture of truth not just what troubles you.


  • Separate facts from feelings.

    Sometimes leaders justify their candor as sincerity and authenticity. Yet candor has feelings masquerading as facts. As a result, it can insult and disrespect others. Honesty separates facts from feelings. For example, when an employee complains more than once, the response “stop whining” communicates your candid feelings. Yet it is not leadership sincerity. It is patronizing. Worse, it is derisive. Far better to find out what solutions the employee suggests to fix the situation. If those are not feasible, simply state the facts. It’s authentic not offensive.


  • Rise about your personal preferences.

    It lessens the mini-me syndrome and honors diversity. Become very self-aware. Know your personality type, your change orientation, and your learning style. Then ensure you don’t demand that everyone be like you. It prevents your authenticity from becoming domineering self-absorption.

    Consider the situation where someone you promoted to manager is creating terrible unrest. You initially think, change always creates dissatisfaction. Yet more than one employee comes to you with serious examples of this person’s incompetence. Do you authentically show them your anger? Do you tell them, “Enough. I promoted this person and that’s it!” It is powerfully yours.

    Yet, it isn’t great leadership sincerity. Take in the feedback. Ponder it. Move beyond your annoyance over their questioning your judgment. If you communicate from power be ready for a power failure. Seek the whole truth.


  • Be likeable without constantly seeking to be liked.

    Be likeable by delivering every message with civility. Don’t avoid conflict just to be liked. If you seek to be liked at every moment, you may avoid important conversations. It can anger employees who must endlessly tolerate bad situations you won’t address. For example, if there is an employee with a very bad attitude, speak honestly to this person. Leadership sincerity shows courage and respect.



Leadership sincerity is far more than, say what you mean and mean what you say. It is considering both what you say and how you say it. Use honesty with courage, humility, and respect. It far outshines just plain candor.


How has great leadership sincerity helped you?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
What’s So Hot About Humility, Anyway?
Leaders, Avoid These 8 People Skills Mistakes
Leaders, How Long Do You Coach a Bad Attitude?

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.



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Join me through these social channelsEngage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Sincere Connections Require People Skills!

WHEN: Join us in Twitter Chat Sunday Feb. 16 2014, 10AM ET. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Here’s a time converter to assist all of you around the globe in converting 10am ET to your local time.


Background: People Skills for Sincere Connections

We have contact with many people in our lives — in and out of work. Yet that is not the same as connecting with them. What makes for sincere connections? Attitude and desire? Most people agree.

Actual skill? Perhaps people skills? I say yes. What do you say? Join us this Sunday Feb. 16, 10am ET in #peopleskills Twitter chat to explore what it takes to make sincere connections.

Joining me as co-host is Samantha Hall, the author of the blog Tweetconnection which serves to connect ideas as well as people on Twitter. The focus of her writing covers self-parenting, the language of feelings, relational dynamics, abuse issues, leadership, and spirituality. She has a varied background spanning multiple industries including the military, healthcare, and the software industry.



Sincere connections: People skills logo

People skills for sincere connection. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Sincere Connections – This Week’s #PeopleSkills Chat!

Some people find making sincere connections very easy. They describe it as a natural fit. They claim all you have to do is be open and honest and you’ll connect. Others disagree. They tell stories of awkwardness and difficulty. They recount examples of meeting fakes and manipulators. Wow … quite a different picture.

Sincere connections are essential in life. Thus we take up this people skills topic in Twitter chat this Sunday Feb. 16th at 10am ET. Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • What is the difference between contact and sincere connections?
  • What if anything do you find challenging about making sincere connections?
  • How do you know if someone is being authentic?
  • Where do self-awareness and emotional intelligence help or hinder making sincere connections?
  • What drew you to people with whom you have sincere connections?
  • When have sincere connections had the greatest impact on you?



These are just some questions to get us thinking before we begin. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join me, Samantha Hall, and the people skills global chat community this Sunday Feb. 16, 2014, 10am ET on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills) to explore People Skills for Sincere Connections.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

Thank you @Samantha_S_Hall on Twitter for suggesting and co-hosting this topic of sincere connections.

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global chat community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, and LinkedIn. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your individual insights.






Hope you will all join People Skills Global Twitter Chat (#peopleskills) this Sunday Feb. 16, 2014 10am ET/7am PT to explore skills for sincere connections.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. Feb. 16, 2014, 10am ET in People Skills Global Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) TOPIC: Skills for Sincere Connections.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Social Media Networking: What Impression Are You Leaving?

This post is not about social media. It’s about social media networking.

It doesn’t instruct you on infographics, tell you how to use the right tags, guide you on LinkedIn changes, reveal the secrets of Facebook, or construct a marketing blitz. It offers professional people skills tips to increase trust and boost business — once your social media gets people’s attention.



Social Media Networking: Image is Missing Puzzle Piece Says Trust

Social Media Networking: People Skills to Build Trust

Image by Sal Falco via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Social Media Networking: Professional People Skills Tips

Picture it. Social media has made others aware of your business. Now what? How do you interact to keep that positive buzz alive? Here’s how social media networking pros do it.

  1. Be prepared! Learn about others before you contact them.

    Example: Another customer service speaker saw my customer service social media posts. She emailed me about referring engagements to each other. Her email included her one sheet, link to her footage, and how much she charges. She wanted to know what kind of speaking I did and how much I charge. This was the first time I had heard from her. We had no pre-existing relationship.

    If she had viewed the footage on my website, as I did hers, she would have realized we have the same target audience. Her intention may have been to build a network for mutual referrals. However since she didn’t learn about me before contacting me, her actions contradicted her words. She left the impression that she was on a fishing expedition not a journey to mutual success.

  2. Do your research to learn about others. Then engage. While social media is about you, social media networking is about you and others.


  3. Engage before you need help. Give before you receive.

    Share others’ posts. Interview them. Give them great social media shout outs. Invest a little time to build their trust. Contacting people only when you want them to promote your book, attend your webinar, or buy your product says gimme gimme gimme. It’s a turn-off.

    Social media networking is about building relationships to reach your goals. Without the relationship, it’s self-absorbed selling.


  4. Communicate your purpose clearly.

    Example: A podcast host invited me via email to be a guest on his customer experience show. I replied with a few questions and he sent me an information packet. In the email he mentioned they do these as joint promotions and would work with me as time drew near. To me that meant that he and I would promote that podcast.

    When I opened the information packet, I found pages and pages of his speaking engagement credits. This was a different picture. What was his true purpose? To develop and promote a quality podcast on customer experience or mass market his speaking to other speakers? I passed on the offer. It was social media not social media networking.


  5. Reach out sincerely. If you don’t want to network, don’t reach out.

    Example: A customer service speaker whom I knew somewhat on social media also emailed me about mutual referrals. It was a well written email. He noted the engagements that he loves to take on if I didn’t want them. I asked if we could speak briefly sometime to get to know each other a bit more. He replied that a family member was ill and he was short on time. I can certainly understand that.

    But then he added: “Besides it was just a casual request.” He was using social media — transmitting information — not engaging in social media networking. Asking for referrals without a relationship says, “Give me help but don’t ask me for anything.” This doesn’t build trust. It doesn’t produce referrals. It doesn’t boost business.


  6. Engage on a blog before you ask to guest post.

    Once or twice a week I get emails from people I don’t know asking if they can guest post on my blog. They always provide links to the posts they’ve written elsewhere and tell me all about themselves. Once again they are using social media but not engaging in social media networking.

    If you want to guest post for a blog, read and leave comments on that blog. Show that you understand the blog’s purpose. Share the blog’s posts on social media. Interact with others that are leaving comments. The blog owner gets to know how you will promote the blog as well as how you write.

    Give before you asked to be featured. You build trust and gratitude. This is the value of social media networking.


  7. Expand your view. Think from the outside in.

    To interact well with people you don’t know, first learn how they think. Be very curious and explore their view of the issue that interests you both. This outside-in thinking makes bonding and building trust much easier. If you aren’t interested in their views, why would they be interested in helping you or boosting your business?





Social media gets you noticed.



Social media networking gets you relationships for results.



What people skills tips will you share here for great social media networking?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
9 People Skills Interaction Reminders for Great Social Media Networking
Harmony, What Does It Take to Really Listen

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Stop Bullying is Topic of People Skills Twitter Chat – Sunday Jan. 19, 2014 10am ET.

Hashtag: #peopleskills

Here’s a time converter to assist all of you around the globe in converting 10am ET to your local time.

Background on This Special People Skills Chat – Rally to Stop Bullying

Bullying has no place on this earth. Yet it continues. The online People Skills Community will rally this week to explore this topic and we invite you to join in. Let’s use our intellect, hearts, and voices to stop bullying in its tracks.


Stop Bullying - People Skills Community Twitter Chat Logo

People Skills Community Twitter Chat Jan 19, 2014: Rally to Stop Bullying

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


People Skills Twitter Chat – Rally to Stop Bullying

Bullying continues to plague everyday life and it is fitting that our people skills community aid new efforts to stop bullying.

The topic is huge and we have only one hour this week. Perhaps we will return to this topic every few months.


Here are some questions to get us thinking for this Sunday’s online rally to stop bullying!

  • What is your definition of bullying?
  • Where does bullying get its roots?
  • Has society kept bullying alive ?
  • Has bullying increased over the years or are we simply more aware of it?
  • Aggressive and passive aggressive: What is the effect of each?
  • How can we help people who are being bullied?
  • How can we strip bullies of their power?
  • Workplace bullying: How can leaders and managers stop it from happening?
  • How can people skills help stop bullying in its tracks?



These are just some questions to get us thinking before we begin the people skills chat online rally to stop bullying. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join us from around the globe this Sunday in people skills Twitter chat — Jan. 19, 2014 10am ET (Hashtag: #peopleskills) — for our online rally to stop bullying in its tracks.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

Thanks to all committed community members who participate in our people skills Twitter chats (#peopleskills) and online groups. Special thanks to all the moderators and co-hosts whose generosity and individual perspectives create a collective success. Last, but not least, warm welcome of thanks to all newcomers who join us each week.






Hope you will all join People Skills Twitter chat #peopleskills this Sunday Jan. 19, 2014 10am ET/7am PT for our online rally to stop bullying in its tracks!

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com or Tweetchat.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sun. Jan. 19, 2014 in People Skills Twitter Chat (#peopleskills) online rally to stop bullying.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

I invite you to connect with me on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. I welcome your interaction!

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success.  See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

Modern People Skills: Great Tips for Social Media Communication


Social media presents many challenges in communication. Perhaps the greatest challenge is that we are communicating with millions of people who don’t know us.

As we express our opinion to strangers we run head on into the challenge of first — and lasting — impressions. A negative tweet never really disappears from people’s view of us. The good news is that modern people skills can easily handle these challenges.


Modern People Skills: Image is sign "Strangers Hall"

Modern People Skill for Social Media Greatness image by: ell brown on Flickr.

Grateful for image by ell brown via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Modern People Skills Reminders for Social Media Greatness

Modern people skills apply the value of traditional civility to modern day communication challenges.


Create and preserve a positive authentic image!

  1. If it sounds like an order, it can turn people off. When we add the word please, it becomes a request.

  2. If a connection’s general behavior is a bother, we have the choice to unfollow/unfriend them. This may be a better choice than issuing them an order that everyone sees. One Twitter connection tweeted at me, stop tweeting quotes about …! Everyone could see his command. What impression of him does it create and leave with all those who read it?

  3. Many people see sarcasm as a form of anger. The less they know us, the greater the chance they see it this way when it’s directed at them. This traditional belief applies to modern people skills: If we can’t say something in a civil way, don’t say it now.

  4. Questioning people’s motives — even with formality — can sound accusatory. “May I inquire as to why you are doing this?” sets a condescending tone requesting justification. A more relaxed question can get the same information while projecting a positive image, “I’d like to understand this better. Can we chat or email about it?” Easy does it! Modern people skills honor everyone’s need for care and consideration.

  5. Stating opinion as fact can leave a negative impression; stating opinion as opinion can invite a healthy positive exchange of opinions! Mutual respect is still a key part of modern people skills.

  6. We leave a positive impression by owning our own feelings instead of assigning them to others. Statements like, “You are trying to discredit my opinion” can come across as insecure and childish. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt: “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” If people are discussing and debating your opinion, engage in the discussion by creatively restating it and positively conversing with others.

  7. People see listening and discussing as a positive sign of strength and openness. Arguing, bashing, and condemning can leave scars on those bashed — and on our image — for a very long time.

  8. Take extra care in the early days of building relationships. Don’t assume that strangers will see complete frankness in a good light. It is actually a privilege others give us as we earn their trust.

    Relationships and the trust they build give interpersonal context to what is said. Without those preexisting relationships, raw authenticity can come across as rude, self-absorbed, boorish, rigid, disagreeable, and even bullying.


  9. Many would like to believe that authenticity — at any length — wins the day. Some go even further and claim that civility and authenticity are at odds. They aren’t. Modern people skills reminder: We can be authentic and civil at the same time!.


Civility provides a cushion of respect that enables listening and acceptance of an authentic honest message. Bluntness provides no cushion and our image can come crashing down! Modern people skills reminder: Words can woo or wound; create bonds, not scars.


What modern people skills reminder will you add to this list?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Related Post:
Honesty May Hurt but Blunt Burns Forever
7 Steps From Brutally Blunt to Helpfully Honest

©2012-2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate also invites you to connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

People skills Twitter Chat TOPIC: Building Trust Between Generations Hashtag: #peopleskills

WHEN: Sunday Sept. 15, 2013 10AM EDT.

Here’s a time converter to assist all of you around the globe in converting 10am EDT to your local time.

Background on This Chat Topic

Do generations trust each other or is there built in mistrust? Aren’t all humans intrinsically the same in the end? This age old debate has taken on new meaning with so many generations in the workforce at the same time. We will take up this interesting debate in this Sunday’s people skills chat!


People Skills Twitter Chat Logo

People Skills Twitter Chat Sept. 15, 2013: Trust & Generations! #Peopleskills

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Join People Skills Twitter Chat Sun. Sept. 15, 2013 10am EDT.

Joining me as co-host for this week’s Twitter chat will be Jon Mertz (@ThinDifference). Jon focuses on #GenY and encourages all leaders to cross the gap by sharing insights.

As we think ahead to Sunday’s chat, questions come to mind:

  • Is there mistrust between the generations? Or is it lack of understanding? Is there a difference?
  • Do tough times bring generations closer or tear them apart?
  • How does defining “generations” help or hurt trust?
  • How do generations see trust differently?
  • How do we build trust if it’s needed? Where do people skills play a part?



These are just some questions to get us thinking before we begin the people skills chat this Sunday.

So bring your personal perspective, your favorite beverage, and join us from around the globe this Sunday in the USA — Sept. 15, 2013 at 10am EDT — to explore People Skills: Building Trust Between the Generations.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community to be a part of all the people skills discussions not just on Sundays but everyday 24×7.



Shout Out of Gratitude

Many thanks to Jon Mertz for suggesting this topic and co-hosting. Also, a huge thanks to all the newcomers to this chat and to those who participate each week and expand our understanding and view of people skills.






Hope you will all join in the #PeopleSkills Twitter chat to explore Trust & Generations, this Sunday Sept. 15, 2013 10am EDT/7am PDT.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Twitter Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Twubs.com, enter hashtag #peopleskills, and sign in to your Twitter account. Twubs will insert the hashtag automatically for you and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, OneQube, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Chat with you this Sunday Sept. 15, 2013 10am EDT in #PeopleSkills Twitter Chat: People Skills: Building Trust Between Generations.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate invites you to also connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

Leadership: Do You See a Generation Gap or an Intersection?


Every day  I hear leaders talk about the generation gap in the workplace.  I read about it weekly in blogs.  My reaction is, it’s an intersection — not a gap!



When the leadership in an organization see and focus on the differences, they widen the gap.  When the leadership see the possibilities for success at the intersection of talents, the gap disappears.



Leadership: Find the Generation Intersection!

Consider how many times gaps have faded into sudden connection and teamwork in everyday life …

  • Disparate groups — even mistrustful factions — who pull together in a major crisis to save lives
  • Prospects who don’t want to talk to a sales person — until the sales rep finds the common ground
  • Private venture capitalists who embrace very young entrepreneurs when high potential and profit is staring them in the face
  • Very young entrepreneurs who truly welcome older experienced investors and advisers to increase success



We’ve all seen grand parents captivate their grand children with stories of the past. My young niece, upon hearing me tell funny stories about relatives that passed away before she was born, blurted out “tell more stories!” This after a long holiday meal where she was the only child at the table. You would think she would have been bored.

What common elements turn the generation gap into an intersection?

  • Positive, fun, upbeat, hopeful moments
  • Possibilities and abundance not exclusions and shortage
  • Mutual gain from respect of differences
  • Higher calling or need as in a crisis

Leadership Generations Intersection: Image is intersecting circles.

Leadership Generations Intersection Not Gap via Istock.com.




What can leadership learn from these intersections?

  • Create positive opportunities for the generations to intersect.
  • Highlight the abundance of success that awaits instead of the tough times and narrowing opportunities.
  • Team build with employees’ stories. The generations intersect as they see common human needs and responses emerge and merge.

Images licensed from Istock.com

Why bother?

Because when youthful energy meets experience and wisdom, success is limitless.



Leadership, help the generations to intersect instead of focusing on the gap. The time is now! I have many team building exercises to make this happen. Just give me a call.


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Teamwork Posts:
Leadership: 5 Essentials to Build 21st Century Teams
Leadership People Skills: 5 Ways to Spark Team Agility

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results. Kate invites you to also connect with her on Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter. She welcomes your interaction!

Superior Customer Service: Serve Then Sell.


Picture it. A current customer calls to clarify their bill. They wade through your telephone menu system and finally get to you. They are very clear at the beginning that they have a simple billing question. After validating who they are to protect their financial privacy, what would you do next to deliver superior customer service?


Superior Customer Service & Sales: Image is humanoid lassoing a star.

Superior Customer Service & Sales: But 1st – Integrity. Image licensed from Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com.



What does your customer focused gut tell you to do next?

  1. Ask unrelated questions about the customer to populate your database — while delaying the answer to their question or
  2. Explain your new products and services or
  3. Focus on their current need and answer their billing question.

If you answered #3, you understand customer service! You really get it. Your focus is on them. It shows integrity.


If you think I am asking a moronic question, you may be one of the lucky ones who has never encountered this maddening moment. It is real. It happens something like this:



    But first … may I have another phone number in case we get disconnected. OK 555-555-1212.
    Now may I have your email address? No. I’m in a hurry and just need to know about my bill.
    I need to connect you to the other billing department for that answer. But first have you heard about our new product …? Customer slams the phone down, finds the phone number for the other billing department, calls them and gets the needed answer.






Just how valuable was this desperate sales approach?

The customer is left with a memory that the business has no integrity or customer focus.

This customer now thinks the company doesn’t care about them and can’t deliver superior customer service. It isn’t likely they will buy more from this business. It would mean experiencing many more maddening moments.

Customers remember moments. They remember the experiences they have with a business.


Superior Customer Service & Sales: But First – Integrity!

A manipulative approach to sales sends many customers running away and telling everyone they know to avoid what they went through.

  • Honor the customer by recognizing and answering their question.
  • Connect with the customers about their stated needs. From that common ground and superior customer service, you build trust through integrity. With trust, you can sell customers many other products and services that will help them in other ways.


If a customer service department uses the but first approach to sell before helping me, I think will reply … “But first, some integrity. How about you answer my question and then I will answer yours?” What will you say?



What other maddening moments have you encountered as a customer? I’m interested to know!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Super Customer Experience: 5 Immediate No Cost Improvements
Customer Service: 21 Tips to Make it Easy for Customers

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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