trust

Leadership: Do You See a Generation Gap or an Intersection?


Every day  I hear leaders talk about the generation gap in the workplace.  I read about it blogs.  My reaction is, it’s an intersection — not a gap!


When the leadership in an organization see and focus on the differences, they widen the gap.  When the leadership see the possibilities at the intersection of talents, the gap narrows and even disappears.



Leadership: Find the Generation Intersections!

Gaps among diverse people are temporary not permanent. Consider how many times gaps have faded into sudden connection and teamwork in everyday life …

  • Disparate groups — even mistrustful factions — who pull together in a major crisis to save lives
  • Prospects who don’t want to talk to a sales person — until the sales rep finds the common ground
  • Private venture capitalists who embrace very young entrepreneurs when high potential and profit is staring them in the face
  • Very young entrepreneurs who truly welcome older experienced investors and advisers to increase success



Everyone Has a Story
We’ve all seen grandparents captivate their grandchildren with stories of the past. My young niece, when hearing me tell funny stories about relatives she never knew, blurted out “tell more stories!” This was after a long holiday meal where she was the only child at the table. You would think she would have been bored. No! She wanted to connect/intersect with generations she never knew.

What common elements turn the generation gap into an intersection?

  1. Positive, fun, upbeat, hopeful moments
  2. Possibilities and abundance for everyone not exclusions and shortage of opportunities
  3. Mutual gain from respecting diverse talents and views
  4. Higher calling or need as in a crisis

Leadership Generations Intersection: Image is intersecting circles.

Leadership Generations Intersection Not Gap via Istock.com.




What can leadership do to create these intersections?

  1. Create positive opportunities for the generations to intersect.
  2. Highlight the abundance of success that awaits instead of the tough times and narrowing opportunities.
  3. Team build with employees’ stories. The generations intersect as they see common human needs and responses emerge and merge.






Images licensed from Istock.com

Why bother? Because …






Leaders, help the generations to intersect. The time is now. I have many team building programs to make this happen. Let’s do it!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Teamwork Posts:
Leadership: 5 Essentials to Build 21st Century Teams
Leadership People Skills: 5 Ways to Spark Team Agility

©2013-2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Manage Your Boss is our people skills chat topic this Sunday.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday Aug. 24, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
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Manage Your Boss! Image is People skills logo

How to Manage Your Boss. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

How to Manage Your Boss

Is this something you do or did at one point in your career? Is it worth the time?

Those who manage their boss say — absolutely. Others say absolutely not because they see it as flattery and manipulation. With these different definitions and views, we will have a very interesting people skills Twitter chat (#peopleskills).

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • What meaning do you attach to the phrase ‘manage your boss’?
  • When have you found it valuable, if at all?
  • Exactly what does managing your boss entail?
  • How do flattering and managing differ?
  • How can you learn/understand what your boss expects?
  • What have you done when you disagreed with your boss?
  • How do you influence your bosses without looking like a threat to them?
  • When you manage your boss, what is the impact on your peers?
  • What can bosses do to make interaction easy and productive?
  • Are emotional intelligence & people skills essential to managing your boss? How or why not?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday Aug. 24, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills chat on how to manage your boss.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to people skills community and generous chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes for their time and contributions.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday Aug. 24, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on how to manage your boss.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. Aug. 24, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Twitter Chat on how to manage your boss.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Teamwork Collaboration: Leaders, Is Your Competitive Spirit Killing It?


Teamwork Collaboration Killers: Image is large foot stepping on a person.

Teamwork Collaboration: Leadership Beliefs That Kill It! Image via Istock.com.

Image licensed via Istock.com


Business owners and leaders hold a competitive spirit in high regard. They often have it and hire for it. They say, “without a competitive spirit how would a business succeed, right? Not necessarily.


Today’s business environment also requires tremendous teamwork collaboration. Innovation needs it. Sales needs it. Superior customer experience needs it. Project completion needs it. In truth, teamwork collaboration is absolutely essential for business success.





It doesn’t have to.



Teamwork Collaboration: Check Your Competitive Beliefs!

Leaders, what are your competitive beliefs doing to your teams’ interaction and collaboration? It’s an important question. Attitude and beliefs drive your behavior and the culture of your organization.

  1. Do you equate collaboration with weakness, laziness, even failure? Your initial answer may be no! Do your actions prove that out? Do you truly value, respect, and elevate high collaborators?

    Do you see collaborators as leaders who can build that culture? Or do you place them under competitive employees? Whom do you promote to a higher position? Great collaborators or individualists with a competitive spirit?


  2. Do you believe collaborators need coddling? In a recent chat, one leader proclaimed he doesn’t have time to coddle people. He prefers competitive types. Coddle?

    True collaborators are not super sensitive people who demand constant support. They are talented employees who know how to initiate ideas and work with others to reach a collective result. If you believe you must coddle collaborators, you may kill teamwork collaboration.


  3. Do you believe that progress stagnates without rivalry and competition? Some people need rivalry to work hard. Yet, natural collaborators find it a huge turnoff. To them it’s distracting. They are already motivated to work hard with others. Rivalry is the antithesis of this.

  4. Do you think that competition builds strength, confidence and backbones? Not in everyone. Many collaborators are motivated through synergy of talents not contests of conquering. Moreover, natural collaborators are not spineless weak adults who lack confidence. They are strong enough to have their own voice and honor others’ as well.

    Leaders, how are your team members motivated? Through competition or collaboration? If you are leading with a competitive philosophy because it’s comfortable for you, you may be killing teamwork collaboration.




How well do you understand the collaborative mind?



Leaders inspire teamwork collaboration when they …

  • Know their teams members and what inspires them. “Celebrate those who compete, celebrate those who collaborate. An ocean refuses no river.” ~@AJManik

  • Recognize when competition is creating a deadlock and help team members see why it’s happening. This is important when you have competitors and collaborators on the same team.

  • Overcome the myth that collaboration is everyone thinking the same thing. It isn’t. It’s diverse views without the mindset of who’s right/wrong and who’s going to win. Help team members learn to disagree with respect, to reach collaborative results.

  • Remember that initiative is different from competition. Initiative and a can-do attitude are always valuable. They keep the business moving toward success. Yet, competition sometimes kills much needed teamwork collaboration.

  • Address domineering non-collaborators even if they are great individual performers. If you justify their behavior with their results you undermine teamwork collaboration.








What progress truly requires is initiative, can-do attitudes, critical thinking, innovation, and great execution. You can find this in both natural competitors AND collaborators. Know who you are leading and inspire them to great heights!


Competitor or collaborator – Which do you think makes a better leader?

Which do you prefer as a leader?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Book Keynotes:
GPS Your Brain to Work w/ Any Personality Type
Leaders, Be a Buoy of Inspiration & Balance


More Blog Posts on Related Topics:
Are You an Annoying Maverick or a Welcome Initiator?
Teamwork Collaboration: Do You Welcome People In or Push Them Out?

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Rebuilding Trust: What Does It Reveal About You?


Rebuilding Trust: Image is statue of child hugging itself.

Rebuilding Trust: 3 Tough Teamwork Truths. Image by Chris Bartle via Flickr.

Image by Chris Bartle via Flickr Creative Commons License


Rebuilding Trust: A Very Revealing Story

    As I rode the train, I heard a young man talking to his friends. He told of how during his senior year in college he missed an important team event. Team participation was part of his grade and he risked failing. He spoke with the professor about doing something to ensure he didn’t fail.

    The professor told him he would have to do loads of office work that would position the team for ultimate success. The young man replied: That would feel too much like punishment. I would rather …



Rebuilding Trust: 3 Tough Leadership & Teamwork Truths

  1. After you’ve broken a trust, your initial response defines you. Rebuilding trust requires selflessness. A selfish response erodes the trust further and will haunt you for many years to come.

  2. Rebuilding trust requires more than just repairing what you broke. It needs a radical change in behavior that allows others to risk trusting you again.

  3. Sacrificing your own needs to rebuild the trust you broke is not punishment. It is the generosity you didn’t show initially. If you call it punishment, it announces to others that you are still thinking of yourself instead of them.






Asking for a second chance is a huge ask at the very moment you’ve disappointed or hurt others. Surrender your needs to those you’ve disappointed. Act with selfless humility to break down the fear of trusting you again.

Rebuilding trust is an act of emotional intelligence. You will come out of it a new person if you dig deep and give generously.


What is the one thing you want from someone who breaks your trust?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership & Teamwork: What’s So Hot About Humility Anyway?
Never Confuse Humility With Humiliation
The Perfect Apology and the One Word That Destroys It
People Skills: 3 Precursors to Influence

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Customer Effort: Does Your Invoice Ruin the Customer Experience?


If your gut reaction to this question is, of course, pause for a moment. I’m not speaking about customers wishing your product/service was free or less expensive. This story is about an alarming trend of companies sending out confusing bills.


Customer Effort: Image is a confusing list of numbers.

Customer Effort: Paying the Bill Should Be Easy Not Confusing! Image by Eliazar Parra Cardenas via Flickr.

Image by Eliazar Parra Cardenas via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Customer Effort: Punctuate a Great Experience With an Easy Bill

The Story
I damaged a tire on my brand new car. It was a side puncture so the tire did not go flat. Yet I suspected I would need a new tire.

I called a place I had bought tires before. Mike was very nice. He asked me what type of tire and asked me to come in and he would look at it. When I arrived Mike wasn’t there yet Dave knew about it and told me they ordered my type of tire just in case I needed it — which I did.

This was a great customer experience. They were proactive and helpful. They even said they could do it in time for me to leave for my next appointment and they did it. THEN suddenly the experience soured. I looked at the bill. There were multiple columns of numbers and fees for extra services I had turned down. I said to Dave, “Why is this so complicated? I have bachelor’s degree in Mathematics and I can’t even understand this bill.”



Dave tried to explain the bill yet you could see he was struggling to make it clear. I expected three numbers in a straight column — the cost of the tire, labor and service charges, and sales tax — that would add up to the total.


Customer Effort: Other Difficult Examples

  • Telephone bills with unrecognizable taxes strewn over multiple pages. How much customer effort does it take to understand a telephone bill?
  • Hotel bills that display as double entry accounting — how many customers understand double entry accounting? Extra customer effort to understand a hotel bill leaves a bad lasting memory.
  • Banking statements with transactions in the order of when they cleared — most people write their check ledger in check#/date order. Why do banks ask customers to extend this extra customer effort just to balance their checkbooks? Make it easy!



Confusing bills are such an unnecessary ding against a wonderful customer experience. Don’t mar the great customer service experience you give with a confusing invoice. Raising doubt and mistrust at the moment you’re asking for money is risky and foolish!


Customer Effort Tip



Invoice — should be “in” the customer’s “voice”, — not yours!



You’ll get paid more easily with fewer questions.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Business Leadership: Who Are Your Customers’ Advocates? You?
Create a Generous Customer Experience Vibe – It’s Irresistible!

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership and Friendship: Is it possible?

WHEN/WHERE: Join us and share your view Sunday June 29, 2014 in Twitter chat at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



Leadership and Friendship: Possible? Tricky? Easy?

Leadership and friendship has been labelled a touchy subject for a long time. Some claim it shouldn’t be a goal. Others say it is ill-advised. Still others say it is the key to employee engagement and deep commitment.

We take on this highly charged topic in our upcoming global Twitter #Peopleskills chat June 29th 10am EDT.


Leadership and Friendship: Image is People skills logo

Leadership and Friendship. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.


Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Leadership and Friendship: Would you like it?

I recently wrote a blog post on the leadership and friendship quandary and the comments were quite diverse. I even received private emails about the risks and public remarks about the benefits. From that I realized it would be a very interesting and valuable topic for our people skills community!

I am so looking forward to hearing your views. Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • How do you define friendship?
  • How do you define the essentials of leadership?
  • Where is the overlap between leadership and friendship?
  • Why is there such concern and even distress about combining leadership and friendship?
  • Would you want to be friends with your leader? Why/why not?
  • What could leaders and teams achieve or lose if they were friends? Pls. explain.
  • What are some of the specific difficulties of combining leadership and friendship?
  • When you get promoted to lead your former teammates, can you be friends too? Why/why not?
  • How do culture and generational differences play into this issue if at all?
  • How would people skills help/hinder leadership and friendship?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.



So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community on Sunday June 29, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your creative views and experience in our people skills chat on leadership and friendship.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to the community chat moderators who generously donate their time week after week: Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday June 29, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on leadership and friendship.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.






TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. June 29, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Twitter Chat to explore leadership and friendship.

Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Leadership Quandary: Are friendship and leadership compatible?

 

Leadership Quandary: Image is circle of humans holding hands.

Leadership Quandary: Can You Be Friends w/ Those You Lead? Image licensed from Istockphoto.com.

Image licensed from Istock.com.

For years the answer to this question was no. Leadership training programs cautioned against it.

Even today, many leaders believe that it isn’t wise or even possible. I recently read this in an article on the isolation of leadership. I read another that said friends gossip about the boss so leaders and employees can’t be friends.


Yet, many leaders found in hindsight the answer to this leadership quandary had changed from no to yes. They didn’t plan friendship. They didn’t have it as a goal. They found over time they had become friends with those they lead.


Leadership Quandary: Are friendship and leadership compatible?

Yes if …

  • Leaders earn the employees’ respect through honesty and integrity not fear. When leaders lead through hierarchy and commands, friendship is not likely. Distance, fear, blame, and punishment are the vibe. Conversely if you lead through integrity, engagement, and the respect it earns you, friendship is very possible.

  • Everyone defines friendship the same way. Mature friendships go far beyond just make me feel good and have better things to do than gossip. They are based in mutual support, frank conversations, and subsisting together. They evolve. The leadership quandary over friendship fades as leaders and team members become pillars for each other.

  • Leaders see themselves as servants to the teams. Servant leadership may be the easiest example of how leadership and friendship can co-exist. Servant leaders don’t see themselves as judges. The leadership quandary never confuses them. They lead as a guide, a teacher, a resource, a voice of truth. All traits of a good friend.






Resolving the Leadership Quandary: Friendship & Leadership


  1. Let it evolve. If it’s meant to be it will happen. Don’t declare it. Don’t block it.

  2. As the opportunity arises, discuss what friendship is. What will you do when personal needs and organizational needs conflict? Will friendship be a help or a hindrance?

    There are many generations in the workplace with different views. These conversations can be valuable in building positive interactions even if they don’t produce friendships.





  3. Honor the challenges of transition. If you are the new leader, declaring you are a friend may seem fake. It doesn’t happen in a second. It grows and evolves through actions and interactions. Declaring it can also seem presumptuous, pushy, and insensitive. Team members may feel disappointed that the former leader is gone. Declaring your friendship may be its very death knell.

  4. Determine how to lead your former teammates. One of the toughest challenges of leadership and friendship comes when leading your former teammates. With very mature friendships, the transition can be quite easy. Other times, everyone struggles while adjusting to new roles. Be open. Discuss expectations. Discuss friendship. From this openness you will know how to lead well in your new role. Friendships may re-emerge through the struggle.

  5. Take steps to actively include new teammates/employees. If you have strong friendship with those you’ve been leading, new team members can often feel left out. They often imagine and fear the worst. They might wonder if there is favoritism because of the closeness they see among you.

    You needn’t stop being friends with long time employees. Reach out to new team members and help them feel a part of the team. Have lunch with them or SKYPE with them. Get to know them and give them a chance to get to know you. Respect the evolution of these relationships.


  6. Accept if employees don’t want friendship with you. Some feel uncomfortable with it. They feel more secure separating leadership and friendship.






There are many advantages to letting friendship evolve between you and those you lead. Mature bonds of friendship sustain everyone through difficult times. Friendship’s warmth sustains morale. Friendship’s eyes see and prevent disasters. Friendship feels good and makes work enjoyable.

Leadership Quandary: Image says Don't fear it. Discuss it.

Leadership Quandary: Leaders and team members as friends?





What other risks, challenges, or benefits should we consider?


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership Sincerity: Are You Leading w/ Honesty & Civility?
Leadership: Breed Accountability Not Blame
5 Steps to Develop Emotional Intelligence
Leadership, Are You a Boring Tiresome Leader?

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Business Leadership: Do You Have a Culture of Customer Advocacy?


If a customer asked you right now — who is my advocate — what would you say? The consumer protection agency? The better business bureau? Or everyone in this company!


Business Leadership: Image is two hands joined.

Business Leadership: Who Are Your Customers’ Advocates? Image by Craig Sunter via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Image by Craig Sunter via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Or would you hesitate? Would you start thinking of which department handles angry customers?

If a customer asks one of your employees — who is my advocate — will they be stumped by the question?

If you and your teams wouldn’t all respond “we are”, it’s time to ask yourselves …


Do we really have a culture of customer advocacy?



To customers, the answer is either yes or no — not halfway or maybe.



Business Leadership: Without Customer Advocacy

When customers ask, “who is my advocate”, the only answer that earns you their trust is … “all of us.” Else at some point, the customers will experience:

  • The Great Runaround.

    Whether it’s in a small professional practice, a mid-size business, or a large corporation, the customers will feel like hockey pucks at some point as you and your teams pass them around. Meanwhile the pucks (your customers) will look around for a company that advocates for them instead of playing with them.


  • The Tug-of-War.

    When you specify departments or individuals as customer advocates, you set up customer interaction as a tug-of-war. It tells the customer you want to contain what you offer them. The customers must tug and tug to get what they want.


  • The Last Resort.

    If your business leadership isn’t customer advocacy, the culture is “catch the customers just before they leave.” Yet, your retention efforts are late. By then, the customers are fed up and no longer trust you. They feel unappreciated. They have endured too much disdain, frustration, and pain to still care.



Business Leadership Customer Loyalty: Image is a saying.

Business Leadership for Customer Loyalty: Image by Lessons Learned in Life.




Business leadership without customer advocacy comes across as manipulative and greedy. It mistrusts customers in the fear they will drain profits. It isolates their requests to certain departments in response to this fear. This toxic vibe is not a customer retention strategy.





Long term success in business is achieved through and with the customers. Let your message to customers be: We exist because of you!


Have each and every customer saying, “This company makes life easy. They are reasonable and professional. They have great products and services at a fair price and I have no need to leave.”


Build a culture of customer advocacy. Empower every employee to be a customer advocate. Seek and destroy all silos, tugs-of-war, runarounds, and mistrust. That’s smart business leadership that creates customer loyalty.



What businesses have impressed you in this way? Give them a shout-out here!



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Business Leadership: The True Cost of Fake Empowerment on Customer Experience
Business Leadership: Win Customer Loyalty on the Move!
Customer Service is Head & Shoulders Above When You’ve Got Their Back

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, delivering the ultimate customer service experience, employee engagement, and teamwork. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Flexibility in Life: Our People Skills Chat Topic for Sunday, June 8th.

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday June 8, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
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Flexibility in Life

Flexibility in life is a topic that arouses many emotions. Some claim it is the secret to happiness and success. Others say it’s disingenuous and inauthentic.

The answer may be in the balance or perhaps in individual choice. Guest hosting this chat on flexibility in life during my absence this week is people skills community moderator Chantal Bechervaise. Chantal’s personal story is a living example of flexibility and possibilities.



Flexibility in Life. Image is People skills logo

Flexibility in Life. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Flexibility in Life: Why, When, How, or Why Not?

Flexibility and change are often seen as the key to survival. The tree that can bend without breaking survives. Adapting and changing doesn’t mean weakness — in fact, it may require and demonstrate tremendous strength.


The measure of intelligence is the ability to change. ~Albert Einstein



So can flexibility in life also bring happiness?



Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • What does flexibility in life mean to you? Struggle, Ease, Learning?
  • Flexibility is better than predictability! ~Evinda Lepins Agree/Disagree?
  • How are creativity and flexibility are connected, if at all?
  • Where does flexibility with others take you?
  • Does flexibility in life save you time or cost you time?
  • What people skills empower flexibility?
  • How does flexibility fit into work and personal life?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join the community and guest host @CBechervaise, on Sunday June 8, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your personal experiences and insights on resilience in adversity.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to to the community and chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tracy Shroyer and Tom Rhodes.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday June 8, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on flexibility in life.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. June 8, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Chat on Twitter as we discuss flexibility in life.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

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Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Simple Integrity: People Skills Influence


Simple Integrity: Image is Happy Emotion & Sad Emotion

Simple Integrity: Single Best Step We Can Take. Image by Andras Pfaff via Flickr.

Image by Andras Pfaff via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Simple integrity is the moment of truth in personal and professional relationships. Although integrity can seem complex, there is one basic step we can take to show simple integrity with others.




Simple Integrity: Which would you prefer?

Answer this question: When you feel wronged by someone what would you prefer to hear from them?


“You really feel betrayed by me.”



OR



“Clearly, I’ve let you down. I’m sorry.”




When we take ownership of how we’ve affected others, we affect others in a positive way. Our empathy with how they’re feeling now — minimizes the pain of what we did before. Neutrality would intensify their pain.


The best single step we can take for simple integrity is to show ownership not neutrality.









Question: Taking ownership makes others feel great. How does it make you feel?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership: Fairness is Not Neutrality
Potent Communication: 9 People Skills Tips That Make It Easy

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Accountability Legacy: The People Skills Joys Behind the Heavy Load

When you hear the word, accountability, do you picture something negative or positive? Burdensome or uplifting? Many people see it as a heavy load. Yet there are many perks to being accountable.

In fact, developing your accountability legacy brings you opportunities and joys beyond anything you’ve imagined. 


Accountability Legacy: Image is network of connections.

Accountability Legacy: People Skills Secrets Revealed. Image licensed from Istock.com

Image licensed from Istock.com.

Accountability Legacy: People Skills Secrets Revealed

Did you ever think of accountability as part of people skills? It is and your accountability legacy brings these secret perks.

  1. Trust. Accountability is a trust magnet. That’s why trust tops our list of accountability’s perks. Accountability’s integrity draws people to you. Do not fear that people will dump their responsibilities on you. Accountability doesn’t make you a doormat. Accountability makes you worthy of trust.

  2. Real charisma. Accountability is the proof that charisma is not a scam or manipulation. It shows there’s no hidden agenda. It underscores that your charisma is real. You become known as the “real thing” — gold in business and in life.




  3. Respect. Your accountability respects others and earns you their respect in return.  Your actions honor your promises to them. What you do respects their needs and uplifts them. This brings you respect, gratitude, and loyalty.

  4. Reliability. Your accountability broadcasts reliability far and wide. Who doesn’t value that?  Who doesn’t want someone they can count on? Reliability makes you a desired friend and partner. It opens doors for you in business that your lack of experience would otherwise keep closed. It connects you with people you would not otherwise meet.  Reliability creates your image of being strong and caring. Don’t buy into the myth that reliability is boring. You can be reliable and spontaneous. They’re not opposites.




  5. Confidence. Accountability shows confidence and people love to be around it.  You don’t shrink from challenges or responsibility and you inspire others.  Your accountability legacy of gracious self-confidence is a powerful connective force.

  6. Safety. Interaction can be scary.  Your accountability replaces others’ anxiety with safety. You don’t dump on others; you take ownership of what you say and do.  They call you a “good egg” because you don’t blame them for your interaction missteps. You don’t attack; you account for your own behavior. Your accountability legacy of safety gives you a wonderful reputation. The possibilities from this are infinite.

  7. Simplicity.  Ah the joy of dealing with someone who makes life easy and simple.  Ownership instead of defensiveness.  Learning instead of hiding. Success instead of detours. Now think of the doors that will open for you with that accountability legacy!






Accountability makes you … easy to trust, sincere to believe, authentic to confide in, safe to approach, reliable to work with, and effortless to be around.

  • Add that to your resume.
  • Show that in an interview.
  • Market that to your customers.
  • Model that with your employees.
  • Mentor that with new leaders.
  • Share that with your family.
  • Teach that to children.
  • Reinforce that with teens.
  • Live that every day.






How has accountability truly helped you in your life and work?

Tell us your story, please.



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Leadership: Breed Accountability Not Blame
Leaders, Convert Blame to Accountability Part II
5 Psychologically Uncomfortable Career Shaping Opportunities

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Ersatz Empowerment: Customers See Through to the Truth About Your Brand


Ersatz Empowerment: Image is Empty Panel w/ Magicians

Ersatz Empowerment: True Cost to Customer Experience. Image by Wonderlane via Flickr.

Image by Wonderlane via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Study after study shows that employee empowerment is essential for superior customer experience.  Complex layers of approvals and silos of solution teams create more than delays. They create breeches of customer trust.

Yet despite the research, leaders still engage in ersatz empowerment that falls short of what’s needed to create superior customer experience.

Ersatz empowerment includes:

  • Telling employees they are empowered yet not tooling them with information or technology to act empowered.  What does the customer actually experience? Holes and gaps and a vacuum of trust.  This lip service to empowerment is not half-way empowerment. It’s ersatz empowerment. It’s zero empowerment. It’s fake and customers can see through it.

  • Onboarding employees with procedures without orientation about the organization’s customer service culture.  Procedures alone do not empower and they don’t create superior customer service experience. Big picture awareness, knowledge of existing customers, and understanding how and when exceptions are made empowers employees to deliver superior customer experience.

  • Leaving silos in place that make front line empowerment impossible.  It takes cross teambuilding to break down silos. Front liners can’t do it alone. Without leaders changing the culture, you have ersatz empowerment at the front line that fills the customer with mistrust about your brand.

  • Believing that customer service skills are inborn.  They aren’t in most people. Customer service training is a vital mechanism for empowerment.  It empowers the employee with professional skills to step outside of their own perspective and into the customers’ mindsets. It gives them essential ways to build a thick skin and a warm heart for difficult moments.  It reduces the number of times they must escalate incidents to management.  This is true empowerment.These are trust building moments with customers and they make or break superior customer experience.




So what’s the true cost of ersatz empowerment to customer experience?



It’s more than just delays to resolving customer issues.  It’s more than just customer frustration.

The true cost of ersatz empowerment is loss of customer trust.  Customers translate all of the holes, gaps, delays, and frustration to one powerful feeling:

You don’t care therefore I don’t trust you.


This is a very avoidable catastrophe.  Create a culture of customer service excellence with truly empowered employees.  Give them training, tools, big picture awareness, knowledge of customers, and collaborative engagement. 


Replace fake ersatz empowerment with a trust building organization that will outstrip the competition and sustain itself for decades to come.


I’m here to help you! Let’s talk soon about the steps to empowering your customer service and customer experience teams.


From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™


Related Posts:
True Customer Experience Leadership: Breed Initiative Beyond Procedures
Customer Experience Vibe: Is Yours Generous Or Greedy?

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Giving Gratitude & Tribute: Our People Skills Chat Topic for Sunday, May 25th

WHEN/WHERE: Join us Sunday May 25, 2014 on Twitter at 10AM EDT. Hashtag: #peopleskills


Time converter:
Please click the time converter link above to convert 10am EDT to your local time.



Giving Gratitude & Tribute

Last week we explored how to respond to negativity. This week we delve into offering the positive – giving gratitude and tribute. How does gratitude and tribute affect others? Does it go beyond great individual feelings and change humanity in some way?

As we head celebrate Memorial Day Weekend here in the USA, we explore giving gratitude & tribute in a deeper way.



Giving Gratitude & Tribute. Image is People skills logo

Giving Gratitude & Tribute. Image by KimbManson for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Image designed by: Kimb Manson Graphics Design for Kate Nasser. All rights reserved.

Giving Gratitude & Tribute: Everyday Living or Rare Event?

Some people live with gratitude very day. They share it freely with others. They offer tribute to others for the smallest kindness. What can we learn from them?

Some questions to get us thinking in advance:

  • “You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.” ~Amy Carmichael Agree/Disagree?
  • What is the connection, if any, between a positive self-image and giving gratitude?
  • How can people live with gratitude in the midst of struggle?
  • How does gratitude affect you personally?
  • They say that giving keeps on giving and multiplies. Agree/Disagree? Why?
  • When are you moved to offer honor and tribute to others?
  • How do people skills add strength to a tribute?
  • Do we pay tribute to others often and soon enough? Why/why not?
  • Should leaders build a culture of gratitude and tribute? Y/N? How?
  • What do honorable tributes say about an organization? A society?
  • How does giving gratitude & tribute change an org. and society, if at all?
  • To whom would you like to pay tribute?



These are just some questions to get us thinking. Actual questions will post live during the chat.

So bring your personal perspective, your experience, a beverage, and join us Sunday May 25, 2014, 10am EDT in People Skills Chat on Twitter (hashtag: #peopleskills). Share your personal experiences and insights on giving gratitude & tribute.


I also invite you to continue this chat by joining the Google+ People Skills Community, The Facebook Group People Skills That Really Matter and the LinkedIn Group People Skills Succeed to be a part of all the people skills discussions everyday 24×7. Get your people skills community member badge here.



Shout Out of Gratitude

My gratitude to all who participate and grow the people skills global community on Twitter (#peopleskills), Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook. We welcome your suggestions for topics, offers to co-host, and most especially your diverse insights.

Special thanks to to the community and chat moderators Chantal Bechervaise, Dave Moore, Hoda Maalouf, Tom Rhodes, and Tracy Shroyer.






Hope you will all join our People Skills Chat on Twitter (#peopleskills) this Sunday May 25th, 2014, 10am EDT/7am PDT to share your insights, perspective, and experience on giving gratitude & tribute.

Everyone is welcome! We have only one rule in People Skills Global Chat: Respect for all even when we disagree.







TIP: If you have never been in a Twitter chat, you may find it helpful to log on to Tweetchat.com, or Twubs.com and enter hashtag #peopleskills. Sign in to your Twitter account. The venue will insert the hashtag on each of your tweets and you will see all the tweets on one screen. Other tools available are Tchat.io, Hootsuite and TweetDeck.

I am the founder and host of the chat and will be happy to answer any questions you have in advance: Email me.


Connect with you this Sun. May 25, 2014, 10am EDT in our People Skills Global Chat on Twitter as we discuss giving gratitude & tribute.


Until then, as always, I wish you bonds of happiness and success!



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Customer Experience Vibe: Do Customers See You as Generous or Greedy?

Customer Experience Vibe: Image is a Gift Box With Gold Bow

Customer Experience Vibe: Generous or Greedy? Image by SalFalco via Flickr.

Image by: SalFalco via Flickr Creative Commons License.


Everyone knows companies are in business to make money. Yet if customers feel that is the customer experience vibe of your company, you lose. Customers can sense greed and it repulses them. 

But there is good news!



Customer Experience Vibe: Generous Not Greedy

Generosity is a giving attitude. It’s a focus on others’ needs — in this case those of the customers. A generous customer experience vibe says to customers, it’s “non-stop you” — to borrow a tagline from Lufthansa Airlines.

Generosity doesn’t mean giving away the profits. It doesn’t require deep discounts. There is significant research to show that people will actually pay more for a product or service, when the customer experience is great.


Create a generous customer experience vibe. It’s irresistible!

  • Great listening feels generous. Telling feels greedy as it seizes control of the moment. Great listening invites others’ thoughts. It is the generosity of an open-mind. It is a magnetic customer experience vibe that draws people back to you. Listen generously.

  • Flexibility feels generous. Rigidity feels greedy. One of the classic customer service training videos, Give ‘em a Pickle, tells the story of entrepreneur and restaurant owner Bob Farrell who realized that giving an extra pickle could secure customer loyalty. Just one extra pickle when the customer requested it created a generous customer experience vibe. Find ways to be flexible with customers!

  • Clarity feels generous. Smoke screens feel greedy. It gives information that feeds decisions and resolves problems. This builds trust and brings customers back. Conversely, fast talking sales reps like some car dealers I recently met, seem greedy as they withhold information and create confusion. Telephone menus (VRUs) that spin people around trying to guess the right option, seem like greedy robots that suck up customers’ time while lowering companies’ costs. Be generous. Be clear!

  • Win/win collaboration feels generous. Win/lose feels greedy. When you create the customer experience vibe of “we win when you win”, customers come back for more. When customers feel a power struggle between them and you, they move on.

  • Giving words feel generous; selling words feel greedy.

    I’ll never forget the day I purchased some cosmetics in a large well known beauty store. The sales rep was helpful and I bought what I went in for and two more items. Then the manager said to the sales rep, “nice up-selling.” This remark turned it from a positive customer experience vibe to a feeling of greedy manipulation. I never went back. Customers don’t like to be sold; but they love to buy. ~Jeffrey Gitomer


  • Respecting customers’ preferences feels generous; being handled feels greedy.

    I had an appointment with my dental hygienist and dentist for a regular cleaning and checkup. When I showed up, the hygienist led me inside, sat me in the chair, and then told me that my dentist wasn’t there that day. I could have the other dentist give me a checkup or skip it. How greedy! They decided what my options were to favor their hygienist’s schedule. They should have called me to let me know my dentist wouldn’t be there and ask me if I would like to reschedule or come at least for the cleaning. Professional service is about serving people not manipulating customers to secure revenue.






As a customer, what generous or greedy customer experience have you had?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Courtesy Checklist: 10 Superior Ways to Succeed With Customers
10 Winning Beliefs for Superior Customer Experience
Customer Experience People Skills: 5 Needless Costly Mistakes

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

Trusting Authenticity: Does Negativity Seem More Real?


Trusting Authenticity: Image is the words Truth and Lies

Trusting Authenticity: Why Does Negativity Seem More Real?

Image licensed from Istock.com.


When you meet people who have a consistently positive attitude, have you ever thought, “Are they for real?”


If people gush with praise, do you question their authenticity? Would you question it if they were very negative? When it comes to trusting authenticity …


Are negative people easier to trust? Do they seem more real?


Trusting Authenticity: The Ease of Negativity

As I work with leaders and teams on positive attitudes, I almost always hear “Too many smiles and compliments just aren’t believable.” Each time I hear it, I ask myself why people find negativity more authentic and easier to trust.

Here are some possibilities.

  • Negativity most likely doesn’t have a hidden agenda.

    Although this isn’t always true, many believe that few people would fake negativity. Trusting authenticity in this case is easier.


  • Negative emotions are either very natural or very fake.

    Many people believe that anger and sadness come from deep within. When they are fake, they are very easy to spot and trusting authenticity is not a big hurdle.


  • You have more to lose if you buy into positive fakers.

    If people fake a positive attitude and give praise to manipulate others, there is greater fear of being taken in. This increased risk makes trusting authenticity much tougher.


  • Negativity feeds your own inner doubts.

    Many people are uncomfortable receiving praise. Although they don’t like hearing the negative, it is easier to believe than effusive compliments.


  • Life is not perfect. There are many imperfections and much pain.

    People who focus on this belief see highly positive people as nonsensical dreamers. They do not trust them and often don’t want to be around them.


  • Highly positive doesn’t connect.

    The old saying, misery loves company, may be in play here. Surely highly positive people like and trust other highly positive people. And there are many people who enjoy being around positive people who lift them up. Yet there are also many who want people to empathize with their pain not remind them that life is beautiful.






So where does this leave the state of positive attitudes, engaging compliments, and inspiration for performance? As strong as ever.

Positive attitudes are authentic when you …

  1. Empathize with others and then light the way with positive possibilities.
  2. Respect others before you compliment them; it builds trust.
  3. Make compliments specific and individual.
  4. Be vulnerable enough to admit your own struggles.
  5. Display your optimism with realism.
  6. Be transparent and forthright. (One passive aggressive action and you will spend a lifetime rebuilding trust.)
  7. Let your actions make your words worthy of trust.




Negativity doesn’t have to seem more real. Through respect, empathy, and transparent actions, a highly positive attitude can be just as authentic.



Would you rather be around someone who is highly positive or negative? Why?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
People Skills Integrity & Authenticity
People Skills Success: Be Authentic Not Absolute

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

 

 

PS-EnergyBar-LogoJoin me through these social channels

Engage in people skills learning! Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience. I invite your questions, share my experience, and welcome your wisdom.

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