Trusting Authenticity: Are Negative People Easier to Trust? #peopleskills
by Kate Nasser |
Trusting Authenticity: Does Negativity Seem More Real?
When you meet people who have a consistently positive attitude, have you ever thought, “Are they for real?”
If people gush with praise, do you question their authenticity? Would you question it if they were very negative? When it comes to trusting authenticity …
Trusting Authenticity: The Ease of Negativity
As I work with leaders and teams on positive attitudes, I almost always hear “Too many smiles and compliments just aren’t believable.” Each time I hear it, I ask myself why people find negativity more authentic and easier to trust.
Here are some possibilities.
Negativity most likely doesn’t have a hidden agenda.
Although this isn’t always true, many believe that few people would fake negativity. Trusting authenticity in this case is easier.
Negative emotions are either very natural or very fake.
Many people believe that anger and sadness come from deep within. When they are fake, they are very easy to spot and trusting authenticity is not a big hurdle.
You have more to lose if you buy into positive fakers.
If people fake a positive attitude and give praise to manipulate others, there is greater fear of being taken in. This increased risk makes trusting authenticity much tougher.
Negativity feeds your own inner doubts.
Many people are uncomfortable receiving praise. Although they don’t like hearing the negative, it is easier to believe than effusive compliments.
Life is not perfect. There are many imperfections and much pain.
People who focus on this belief see highly positive people as nonsensical dreamers. They do not trust them and often don’t want to be around them.
Highly positive doesn’t connect.
The old saying, misery loves company, may be in play here. Surely highly positive people like and trust other highly positive people. And there are many people who enjoy being around positive people who lift them up. Yet there are also many who want people to empathize with their pain not remind them that life is beautiful.
So where does this leave the state of positive attitudes, engaging compliments, and inspiration for performance? As strong as ever.
Positive attitudes are authentic when you …
- Empathize with others and then light the way with positive possibilities.
- Respect others before you compliment them; it builds trust.
- Make compliments specific and individual.
- Be vulnerable enough to admit your own struggles.
- Display your optimism with realism.
- Be transparent and forthright. (One passive aggressive action and you will spend a lifetime rebuilding trust.)
- Let your actions make your words worthy of trust.
Negativity doesn’t have to seem more real. Through respect, empathy, and transparent actions, a highly positive attitude can be just as authentic.
From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™
©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email firstname.lastname@example.org for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.
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