Common People Skills Mistakes That Make People Leave You

Are you making these common people skills mistakes that drive others away? In your leadership, teamwork, and daily interactions, how you treat others affects interaction and performance. To improve your leadership, teamwork, and everyday relationships, check this list of 23 common people skills mistakes and what to do instead.



Common People Skills Mistakes: Image is thin metal rods projecting at us.

Common People Skills Mistakes That Drive Others Away. Image by tanakawho via Flickr.


Image by tanakawho via Flickr Creative Commons License.


23 Common People Skills Mistakes That Make People Leave You

Connections and interactions are absolutely essential for business and career success. They affect your personal happiness as well. Great people skills are critical to create and maintain all of these relationships.


  1. Speak your views but rarely listen? Respect others with good listening!

  2. Assume rather than clarify? “Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” ~ Henry Winkler

  3. Take much more than you give? Generosity is a magnet and selfishness repels.

  4. Invade vs. respect people’s boundaries? Whether it’s physical space or manipulating people’s words, invading drives people away.

  5. Dictate rather than collaborate? Dictating screams selfishness and that makes people leave you.

  6. Dominate and correct others? Dominating and correcting others makes you seem like an annoying nudge. People will run from this.

  7. Watch and observe from a distance but don’t engage? Watching and observing are valuable before you engage. If you don’t engage, people feel like you lab rats and they will run out of your maze.

  8. Being silent and expecting people to know what you are thinking? This mistake can erupt into conflict. Communicate. Speak sooner to prevent needless conflict.


  9. More Common People Skills Mistakes

    Are you making any of these common people skill mistakes that make people avoid you? Do you …

  10. Disdain vs. respect others? Respectful tone and words can help everyone through good times and bad.

  11. Gossip rather than keep a confidence? Even though people claim that gossip is normal, it still destroys trust. Keep confidences; don’t gossip.

  12. Use power vs. influence with others? If you seek power, you may cause a power outage — people will exit your space!

  13. Exclude instead of include others? Hierarchies, cliques, and implicit bias drive people away. Is that what you want?

  14. Say everything without a filter?
    This is rude not authentic. People will walk away from you.

  15. Lean on others but rarely share your courage? It’s normal to need help. Yet if you are TOO needy and never share your strength, people tire of your neediness.

  16. React defensively to feedback vs. reflect and honor the input? The word gets out to stay away from you.


  17. Still More Common People Skills Mistakes

    Do you …

  18. Assume too much familiarity rather than take time to build the relationship? Everyone has a perspective and a vote. Too familiar too soon silences other’s voices and they walk away.

  19. Be around when you need help and busy when others need help? This is opportunistic. It drives others away.

  20. Think only about yourself but label it thinking for yourself? Huge mistake. Not only is it selfish it makes you look delusional.

  21. Claim to be empathetic and then blame people for their troubles? One of the most insidious of the common people skills mistakes. Lure people to you and then crush them with criticism. They will leave you.

  22. Talk and talk and talk vs. respect the value of silence? If you never let anyone else into the conversation, they won’t come back again.

  23. Label your views as logical & others as illogical? Arrogance drives people away. Listen and hear other’s views.

  24. Expect trust vs. develop it? Expecting trust is foolhardy. Let your actions and your empathy develop it.

  25. Demand everyone be like you instead of everyone adapting to different personality types? This mini-me syndrome sends people away from you in droves.


All of these common people skills mistakes push others away because they say “I matter, you don’t.” Instead, think we — not me — for positive productive relationships.




People Skills Made Easy – Meet Basic Universal Human Needs



What do you think is the most universal human need?



From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post:
Push Others to Far & You Lose
Moderate Your Energy to Speak Effectively
Balanced Behaviors & Great People Skills Tell Others They Matter

©2017 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.


Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.



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