Detail People: Do We Mislabel Them as Bystanders? | #PeopleSkills #Leadership
by Kate Nasser | 4 Comments »
Have you ever been excited about your idea and run into detail people who don’t jump on board right away? Did you blame them for not giving you instant buy-in? It’s a temptation yet still a mistake. To influence others, understand what moves them and then adapt. Tailor the message to them.
Detail People: Do You Mislabel Them as Bystanders? Image by June Lee at Meijer Gardens via Flickr.
Detail People: Do We Mislabel Them as Bystanders?
Here’s one recent account that illustrates what happens when you blame others for not thinking like you.
The Story
A high energy creative driver type person emailed some online colleagues about his idea for a new type of conference. He didn’t know them all well. Some are high energy creatives like him. Others are detail people. The detail people responded simply, this sounds interesting. The high energy creatives emailed “I’m in. Great idea!”
He responded to the detail people: “Are you really interested or are you going to be bystanders?” By mislabeling them as bystanders, he showed himself to be:
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Self-absorbed
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Emotionally unintelligent
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Narrow-minded
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Bullying and demanding
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Difficult to work with
In leadership, teamwork, service, sales, and relationships in general, connect with others the way they are. Don’t expect them to think like you. To lead change, don’t insult and label those you lead. To sell an idea or product, find out what moves people to move on a decision. Don’t blame them; tailor your message to them.
Do they need …
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More details and clarity?
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The big picture?
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How much time and effort required?
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What’s in it for them?
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A reason to trust you?
From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™
Related Posts:
Adapt to Different Personality Types to Tap Profitable Communication Secrets
23 Common People Skills Mistakes That Make People Leave You
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Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.
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This is a really interesting example, Kate. I taught DiSC around the world for several years and most people learned to shift their face to face communications. However, you raise the important point of online communication, in this case, email to a group he didn’t know. For some leaders, the lessons they’d put into play in person is lost via quick online exchanges. We need to remember the need to adapt, flex and meet people where they are not only when they’re standing in front of us.
Alli
Thanks Alli! So many people believe that adapting is disingenuous and fake. It isn’t. In truth, the listening and critical thinking that precedes adapting, prevents us from making false assumptions and inaccurate deductions.
Kate
Hi Kate great starting point for a discussion. When you have different personality and communication styles then the most important thing is for both parties to recognise that rather than making assumptions.
– Do you need more time to process that idea?
– I need time to process that idea. How much time do I have?
It’s all about miscommunication.
Dorothy
You said the magic word Dorothy — “assumptions.” And like Henry Winkler said, “Assumptions are the termites of relationships!”
Thanks so much for weighing in on this topic.
Kate