Direct Feedback: How to Get People to Be More Direct w/ You | #PeopleSkills
by Kate Nasser | 2 Comments »
Do people give you honest direct feedback? Or do they sidestep around you or even walk away? If you want people to be upfront with you, here’s how to make it easier for them to do just that.
Direct Feedback: Help Others Be Upfront With You
If you establish a reputation for taking feedback well, most people will be more upfront with you. For leaders this is critical for leadership success. For employees, it is vital to career progression. In sales and service, the customers’ honest direct feedback is essential for long term success.
Make It Easy for People to Give You Direct Feedback!
- Ask open-ended questions. Don’t ask for approval (e.g. Don’t you think what I/we are doing is great?).
- Listen to the feedback without defending yourself and your actions.
- Thank people for direct feedback. Do not respond with reasons why you did something. It sounds like you are telling them they are uninformed.
- Accept the direct feedback. Don’t accuse, demean, or attack back (e.g. “You’re not perfect either”).
- Treasure direct feedback and honor those who give it. Don’t take offense or revenge.
Important Reminder: Be Respectful & Honest Not Brutal
Direct feedback is not a brutal demeaning attack. If you are giving or receiving feedback, be respectful and civil. Civility doesn’t weaken the message it helps others hear it.
Final Thought: There will always be people who won’t give you direct feedback. Their own discomfort stops them from being upfront. Yet when you establish a reputation as open-minded and respectful, many more people will see that it is safe to be respectfully direct with you.
From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™
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Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.
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I once worked for a manager who gave me direct feedback about how he experienced our rocky relationship. Until then, I had only seen my side of the equation and his missteps. When he was direct with me, I was empowered to be direct with him too. That one conversation changed everything. We talked about what working, our perceptions and how we could work more effectively together. If I went in to defend myself, and not listen and learn, I’ll bet I would have moved on from the org in the not too distant future.
These are important and actionable… and too often forgotten.
Many thanks Alli for adding your personal professional story with us here. And you said it so well … “one conversation changed everything.”