Former Abusive Leaders: Why Do Employees Speak Well of Them? | #Leadership
by Kate Nasser | 2 Comments »
Why do employees speak well of their former abusive leaders? When those leaders or the employees no longer work for the same company, you would think the employees would not defend their former abusive leaders. Well many do not. Yet I have heard several who do and it is important to ask why.
Why Do People Defend Their Former Abusive Leaders?
I ask this question because defending your former leaders and managers who were abusive to you, can …
Make you tolerant of abuse from your current or future leaders.
Subconsciously become part of your leadership style as you justify the reasons why.
Slow the development of your own self-respect and how people treat you.
Communicate to others that abuse is OK even if you say it isn’t
Further abusive leadership with the “but those leaders got results” mindset.
Perhaps Employees Defend These Leaders Because …
The memory is too painful. The need to deny that anyone had treated them that badly takes over.
They hope those they lead will be understanding if they are poor leaders.
They lack confidence and conviction that leaders must treat others well.
Time and distance give them a rosier view than the past really was.
If you had former abusive leaders in your career, give serious thought to how their verbal abuse affected you and your colleagues. Imagine how much more you could all have achieved with positive leaders. Instead of saying “but they taught me a lot”, write down what you could have learned if they had inspired you! Then, help create that culture in your current and future jobs.
Abusive leaders are not great leaders. In fact, they are not even leaders. Truly great leaders do not abuse others and don’t even consider that leadership. They inspire and influence without abuse. So, don’t speak well of your former abusive leaders. Live and work with the healthy belief that leaders must treat you well.
From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™
Essential Truth: Verbally Abusive Leaders Lose Everything
Leaders, How to Stop Team Bullies
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Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.
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The 6th graders in the other class spoke well of and defended their teacher. [Slightly notorious]
Postal employees defended the supervisor of their craft activity.
When he was ridiculed by some postal big shots, I too defended him. Why? Because I didn’t like their attitude.
But on aa practical note, bad mouthing a former bad boss will cause current management to view you and your commitment in a negative light.
Interesting examples Slim. I am grateful that you have shared them.