Giant Communication Blunder & One Easy Fix | #peopleskills

Giant Communication Blunder & One Very Easy Fix

You feel strongly about something. You want others to care about it. As you communicate with them, you hit a brick wall! What’s the problem? You built the wall!

Giant Communication Blunder: Image is brick wall w/ a one way sign on it.

Giant Communication Blunder. Image by Great Beyond via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Grateful for image by Great Beyond via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Ask yourself, have you slipped into stating questions instead of asking questions? When people feel strongly about something they often slip into stating a question that tells instead of asks.

Don’t you think? Wouldn’t it be better?

What answers do you expect? You are in tell and sell mode and pretending it is conversation and listening.

Instead of stating their true opinions, they either say “no”, say nothing, or walk away. You suddenly face the brick wall you built.

Can’t people disagree regardless of how you pose the question? Yes, some can. Will they want to bother? Very likely no.

Questions like “don’t you think” …

  • Treat others as subordinate
  • Suggest others’ views are not important
  • Demand agreement while pretending to be open-minded

This is a giant communication blunder. Who wants to scale a brick wall of pretense and arrogance — especially when they don’t care as much about your cause as you do.

One Easy Fix to This Giant Communication Blunder

State your opinion as opinion and ask open-ended questions to engage others. “What do you think?” vs. “Don’t you think?” Ask and listen.

Influence honors others with generous restraint and gentle honesty. It invites people to express their views and make their own decision.

What else do you think contributes to influential communication?

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
Potent Communication: 9 Easy People Skills Tips
Silence: When Is It Golden and When Not?

©2015 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.




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I invite your questions, welcome your wisdom, and look forward to working with you.
~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

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