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Although verbal conflict isn’t all bad, most people prefer conflict-free conversations. They want to exchange ideas and even disagree without that sense of intense conflict. Yet if we want conflict-free conversations, we must be responsible for what we say and do when speaking with other people.

Key Responsibilities If You Want Conflict-Free Conversations. Image by Tim J. Keegan via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Image by Tim J. Keegan via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Our 9 Key Responsibilities for Conflict-Free Conversations

We don’t have to hide our beliefs or say yes and agree all the time to have conflict-free conversations. However, we must do the following:

1. Be respectful not patronizing. Respect is the universal connector. Patronizing others gets their back up!

2. Open up to other’s ideas. Don’t seize control of the conversation.

3. Hear others out. Don’t hijack the conversation and take it where you want to go.

4. Dialogue don’t monologue. Dialogue lets everyone know they matter. This helps prevent conflict.

5. Speak with a positive tone of voice. Sarcasm and/or a sarcastic tone of voice create resentment and conflict.

6. Adapt to personality types. Demanding that everyone be “like us” is ludicrous and arrogant.

7. Actively listen. Step outside of our views and boundaries. Focus on what is and is not being said. As Walt Whitman said, “Be curious not judgmental.”

8. Stay involved in the conflict-free conversation. Lack of conflict does not mean that the conversation is unimportant.

9. Don’t use calmness to manipulate others. Some people who are very uncomfortable with conflict tell others to calm down. This seems manipulative and creates conflict. Moreover, we must not let the comfort of calmness make us resistant to other ideas.

BONUS Reminder for Us All

Build a reputation of listening and being accountable without conflict. If we open up to new ideas, change our behavior, and be accountable only when people yell at us, they will believe conflict is essential. It isn’t — as along as we are adaptable without it.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
5 Reasons People Interrupt Us
5 Leadership Listening Tips for Resolving Conflict

©2020 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

Tags: accountability, adaptability, conflict, conversations, dialogue, emotional intelligence, interpersonal skills, listening, people skills, respect, responsibility, Soft Skills, trust