Extreme Behaviors: Leaders, Coach Employees to Moderate Theirs #Leadership

Leaders, you play a significant role in coaching employees to moderate their own extreme behaviors.

Of course, you must start with yourselves. Leaders and managers impact those they lead. You must model what you expect of them. Moreover, extreme absolutes are a neon sign of immaturity. To have everyone grow, make sure you are not stuck in the comfort of your extreme behaviors.

Extreme Behaviors: Image is Gold arcs and circles.

Leaders & Managers, Coach Away Team Members’ Extreme Behaviors. Image by Claire Thompson via Flickr Creative Commons License.

image by Claire Thompson via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Leaders, Coach Employees to Moderate Their Own Extreme Behaviors

I have seen many teams struggle when team members are stuck in the comfort of their extreme behaviors.


  • Talking on and on and on — especially in meetings — making it difficult for others to participate. The impact of this behavior is even worse in online virtual meetings like in Zoom.

  • Always acting on assumptions instead of clarifying. This leads to interpersonal conflicts and also poor team results.

  • Taking credit for other’s work. The strife and disrespect that comes from that are very damaging to teamwork and morale.

  • Always being the maverick instead of a team player. It’s OK to show what you can do individually IF you contribute to the team and team-up on projects as well. Otherwise, the team has no reason to trust you.

Leaders & Managers, Address Extreme Behaviors in the Moment

Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Why It’s Important for Leaders to Do This

  1. Team members don’t know how teammates will react if they address teammates’ extreme behaviors. Leaders have the title and right to do so.

  2. If leaders don’t show the courage and address extremes in behavior why would teammates think it’s OK for them to do so?

  3. When team members’ extreme behaviors are not addressed teamwork, morale, and results deteriorate. In fact, team members begin to leave the dysfunctional team and the toxic extreme behaviors. They want to work on teams that have a shared purpose and a positive culture.

How to Address Extremes

Before you start, write down what the word extreme symbolizes to you as a leader. This might sound like an odd exercise, yet it is essential. If you see extremes as the pathway to big time success, you probably won’t address extremes of behavior. In truth, constant extremes don’t yield success. Agility and balance breed great success.

Leadership Steps to Address Team Member Extreme Behaviors

  1. As a leader, facilitate a discussion with all team members on what are the valuable and harmful team member behaviors. This first step is key to the success of the remaining steps.

  2. Next, have the team offer examples of each of the valuable and harmful team member behaviors. These behavioral examples make things much clearer. You and the team attempt to find consensus for the list that every team member will use as their behavioral guide. Don’t use individual’s names. Simply discuss the behaviors.

  3. Then, discuss what you and they will do when team members stray from the list of valuable behaviors. Some leaders and teams agree on a phrase they will all use to make teammates aware of their extreme behavior when it happens. There may be some situations that you alone as leader can address. Make these clear as well.


For over 25 years, I have taught leaders and teams how to address behavior issues to lead and sustain morale and performance. What I have outlined above is a summary of the steps that have worked with thousands of clients. If you wish assistance in getting started or having me there to facilitate the process, I would be pleased to work with you. And yes, we can even do it virtually using Zoom instead of in person.

Your turn: Please share your thoughts on this issues of addressing extreme behavior!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
7 People Skills That Keep Us Balanced and Reduce Fear
The Weakness of Extreme Strength

©2021 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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