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People who talk and talk and don’t let others speak — the super talkers and very chatty employees — can drive others away. In a work environment, it makes others show up late to meetings, tune out during meetings, or even leave meetings. Overall, super talkers have a terrible effect on productivity and morale. Leaders must actively coach them to listen.

Leaders & Managers Coach Super Talkers to Listen. Image by Natalia Medd via Flickr Creative Commons License.

image by Natalia Medd via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Actively Coach Super Talkers to Listen!

People who rarely listen and never stop talking push others away because they …

• Come across as dominating. Dominating makes people feel trapped and they wan to escape.

• Disrespect others. Everyone matters. Yet, when people don’t have a chance to speak, the message is that they don’t matter.

• Threaten others success. In a work environment everyone needs time to ask questions, share opinions, and clear up confusion. When one person dominates a meeting, it blocks others from reaching success.

• Tax other’s patience. This can be especially true in virtual meetings. When you’re not in the room, it’s hard to get super talkers’ attention.

• Seem selfish and immature. Self-moderation is part of maturity.

Please Let Me Speak!

While non-stop talkers often say, let me finish, everyone else is thinking, please let me speak! In work settings, leaders and managers must close this gap to keep people productive and inspired. Certainly meeting rules can help. Yet, true super talkers seem to overlook those rules. Moreover, these non-stop talkers corner people in their offices, in the hallways, dining rooms, and rest rooms. Meeting rules alone will not fix all this.

Coach Super Talkers to Listen!

1. Help them see their behavior. Through specific examples, highlight their speaking style and lack of pauses.

2. Explain the change that the team needs to see and why.

3. Clarify what their current behavior does to others and to the team and organization. The list above is a good starting point.

4. Help them to see other’s needs. Many people needs time to reflect on smaller bits of information. Their non-stop speaking style blocks this.

5. Ask them what drives their current behavior. It helps them work through what is driving their non-stop talking. There are tangible reasons people do this and unearthing theirs will help them change.

6. Then it’s time to practice. Using the examples you already noted with them, re-run that example with them. Show them where to pause and how to draw others in.

Be Ready to Help Them Along

7. Be ready for their reaction. I remember so well one super talker I was coaching. In the very next meeting he started to talk and talk. Since I was facilitating the meeting (as well as coaching him privately), I used a key phrase we developed during a coaching session to trigger the new behavior. It worked and then he said out loud, “This is hard work.” I agreed with him and pointed out that others appreciate his efforts and the chance to speak.

8. Never demean or ridicule them. Ridicule doesn’t help people change their behavior. It may silence them yet that is not the goal here. You don’t want super talkers to be completely silent. You want them to dialogue instead of giving a monologue.

Summary

Develop the courage to let others speak and to listen to them. You will learn so much and build other’s respect and trust. You will have more career opportunities and personal relationships. Ask open-ended questions and listen to what others say. The connection and collaboration that comes from it beats non-stop talking — hands down!

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

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Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

Tags: Career, chatty, coaching, collaboration, communication, coworkers, emotional intelligence, employee morale, employees, Growth, interpersonal skills, Leadership, leading morale, listening, morale, people skills, sales, self-awareness, Soft Skills, Teamwork, virtual