Leadership #Peopleskills: Leading & Inspiring Through Shame?
by Kate Nasser |
Leadership: Boosting Morale Through Shame?
Leaders, when crunch time comes are you tempted to shame some people to boost others’ morale? Do you speak badly of tough customers believing it will show employees you appreciate them? Do you shame some employees to make others feel better?
Don’t! It is short-sighted and misguided. It backfires every time and leaves scars on everyone. It paints you and your leadership style as primitive and uninspired. It can make you appear desperate to deflect any accountability for the current crunch. It can damage your reputation as we recently witnessed with The CEO of AOL.
Leadership: You Can’t Boost Morale With Shame
Understanding where your temptation to shame others comes from is one way to avoid doing it. You can choose a more successful leadership approach through positive people skills.
- Do you assume that people are lazy and you can shame them into performance? It is far better leadership to assess why performance is low and take steps to make it better. Even if you remove an employee from a position, shaming them leaves unnecessary scars on the teams. Do you want everyone thinking — “Will I be next?” It doesn’t make them work smarter and contribute more. It makes them play it safe and cover their tracks!
- Do you feel your leadership authority is being threatened or weakened? Reassert through calm confidence and the strength to resist emotional reactions. Inner strength is the best leadership billboard.
- Are you confusing mob mentality for leadership influence? Shaming some people to lift others up actually means you are firing up a mob to help you lead. You can almost hear the unstated — “let’s get ’em” — cry of an angry mob. This doesn’t become your greatness as a leader. During a crunch, position your tough decisions with the business goals without shaming or blaming anyone. This will speak volumes of your strength, insight, and influence.
Leadership strength doesn’t have to roar. It doesn’t have to humiliate. You can speak with dignity and lead with knowledge and insight. Learn and own your emotional triggers. When you feel their power, pause and let your intellect overpower your triggers. Watch your calm confidence emerge! It is then that others feel strength, respect, and commitment to your leadership.
Here’s an illustration.
As The People-Skills Coach™, I could have written this post in two different ways. Which way would provide better leadership on this topic — #1 or #2?
- The CEO of AOL acted like a cruel jerk when he shamed his creative director in public … OR
- The opening that I used above.
I propose that the first approach of using shame would accomplish little. It could damage much.
Instead, choose leadership people skills that model confidence. You boost morale as you lead all to success.
Respecting everyone — even in tough moments — doesn’t mean that you are weak leaders. It means you are strong enough to lead without leaving scars. In truth, you cannot lead and inspire through shame.
From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™
©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.