Negativity: Value of Being Responsible for Yours | #PeopleSkills

Let’s replace the debate over the value of a positive attitude vs. negativity with the simple step of owning our own negativity. Here’s the value to you and those around you.

Negativity: Image is A B positions w/ plus and minus signs.

Negativity: The value of being responsible for yours. Image by Jurgen Appelo via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Image by Jurgen Appelo via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Are You Responsible for Your Own Negativity?

It’s an important question. In relationships, especially work relationships with employees, teammates, colleagues, and customers, self-awareness especially about your negativity lessens the impact on others. There has been lots of debate about a positive attitude vs. negativity. From that many people come to believe they need to be ashamed of any negative feelings they have. It has even given rise to the opposite claim that there is something called toxic positivity. Well it’s time to correct this whole unnecessary misunderstanding.

Negative Feelings

  • We all have them.

  • They are natural and human.

  • There’s no need to be ashamed of them.

  • You can work through them.

  • Being negative all the time is a problem for those you work with. On the other hand, being aware of your own negativity and owning it is valuable to you and others.

The Value of Being Responsible for Your Negativity

I have written in the past that a positive attitude at work is essential not negotiable. This means that overall each day you must contribute with a positive helpful attitude and not spend every day complaining and finding fault with everything. Yet, remember, that is not the same thing as having negative feelings sometimes.

So what’s in it for you to be responsible for your own negativity at work and manage it?

  1. You become much more self-aware overall. Learning more about yourself gives you a path to finding more happiness and contentment in life.

  2. Knowing yourself gives you a greater sense of control and inner peace when you can’t control things.

  3. It prevents your negativity from escalating into verbal attacks on others and regretting it later.

  4. It shows others you are mature and caring. As you manage your own negativity, you sustain your work colleagues with your contributions. Otherwise they feel your constant negativity weighs them down.

Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

6 Questions to Move Through Pessimism & Negativity

Be Responsible for How You Feel

If you are feeling negative, ask yourself why. Have you experienced some recent loss? Do you hate your job? Or is it general sense of discontent in your life? When you meet people who seem generally positive, many have worked through trouble and made changes in their work and life. It’s worth it. I am one of millions who have moved from being negative to generally positive. And I never looked back!

A Final Story to Illustrate

I have coached many workplace teams on how to work better together. I remember one instance in particular. The teammate was very negative and it was a problem for the team and manager. They brought me in to address several issues including that one. As I was talking, I noticed that particular team member was listening very carefully. Often, negative team members withdraw and don’t listen. Yet she was listening and I could see she was thinking. We went through the day with team exercises and did the wrap-up. The manager called me the following week and told me that the team member realized from the session that what she really wanted was to move on to a new career. She understood her self better and was ready to make a change. Being self-aware helps everyone.

How has self-awareness — especially about your negative feelings — helped you?

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
What Constant Negative Naysayers Really Do
5 Ways to Prevent the Negative Impact of Being Too Positive!
Positive Attitudes Succeed, Negativity Protects

©2021 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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4 Responses to “Negativity: Value of Being Responsible for Yours | #PeopleSkills”

  1. Kevin Gibson says:

    I believe this blog is so real and uplifting. The reason is this shows we are responsible for our situation. We all deal with negative people. Some are more than others. A key takeaway I found was we need to focus on ourselves before others. If we are down, we will pull others with us. I try to find a silver lining on every day. However, those moments when I am frazzled can be costly. Thank you so much for this post. Brilliant.

    • Kate Nasser says:

      Hi Kevin,
      You have made my day in saying that this blog is “real” and “uplifting.” When I blog I try each time to provide inspiration and tangible how to tips. It is so nice to know I have done it with this post.

      And I agree that we can all be negative and get frazzled yet the self-awareness we have can help us move ahead.
      Thanks again,

  2. Alli Polin says:

    I agree, Kate. When you’re aware of your feelings, it’s when you’re in control of them. Recognizing negative feelings means you can take a closer look, understand the root cause, and take responsibility for how you treat and engage with others. Feeling negative at times is human, lashing out or spreading your negativity far and wide is optional.

    Right on!


    • Kate Nasser says:

      Well you nailed the essence of this post with feeling negative is human lashing out and spreading negativity is optional.

      Thanks Alli!!

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