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How good are you at the people skills balance between humility and assertiveness? Are you humble and assertive? In truth, it is very doable and very valuable — especially for leaders. Here’s a five-point checklist to guide you.

People Skills Balance: Are You Humble & Assertive? Image by smlp.co.uk via Flickr.

Image by smlp.co.uk via Flickr Creative Commons License>

People Skills Balance: Are you Humble & Assertive?

In everyday life, many people see humility and assertiveness as opposites. Yet they aren’t. Humble doesn’t mean timid and assertiveness doesn’t mean bossy nor arrogant. You can have great self-esteem, be assertive, and still live with humility and think of others.

People Skills Balance: Humble and Assertive Checklist

1. Do you constantly learn about yourself and others? Humility includes continuous learning to improve your imperfections for the benefit of all. Being a willing student helps you stay humble. Then using what you learn gives you the ability to be assertive on many topics.

2. Liking and loving yourself even when others don’t like and love you? A strong sense of self-love is the precursor to assertiveness. When you love yourself and respect others, you are both assertive and humble. That is people skills balance.




Loving both yourself AND others makes you assertive & humble. #PeopleSkills
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3. Stating your needs with calm assurance not insults and threats? Stating your needs doesn’t make you selfish as long as you communicate without insults and threats. It is the strength of both humility and assertiveness come to life!

4. Accepting compliments and praise without minimizing yourself? When people compliment you, offering them a heartfelt thank you honors them as well as yourself. This is assertiveness and humility combined. It is people skills balance.

5. Communicating and listening! Communicating your thoughts is assertive. Listening to others is humble. Put them together and your people skills balance builds trust.

People Skills Balance: Which is tougher – being assertive or humble?

If you struggle with being assertive and humble, write down which one is a bigger challenge for you. Then write down your definition of the one you selected. Very often your obstacle is in how you define it and the risks you think it poses for you. I am happy to coach you from there for better people skills balance!

Related Post:
Empathy & Humility: 3 Responses to Overcome Bias

©2019-2024 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

Tags: assertiveness, Balance, communication, emotional intelligence, Humble, Humility, Leadership, leading morale, people skills, respect, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-respect, Soft Skills, trust