People Skills Gifts: Bluntness is Not Included | #PeopleSkills #LeadMorale
by Kate Nasser | 2 Comments »
Of all the people skills gifts we think of, bluntness is not one of them. Yet, I hear people who are frequently blunt claiming they are giving others a gift. Well uninvited bluntness is not a gift you give someone. It’s a privilege that others grant you when they trust you. Forcing your bluntness on others leaves scars on them. Moreover, you pay a price as well. Instead of being blunt, be honest with care.
People Skills Gifts Do Not Include Bluntness
What are the top items on the list of people skills gifts we give others?
Listening. Without input from others, anything we say to others is of lesser value.
Civility. Civility doesn’t weaken our message. It doesn’t hide the truth. It just makes the message easier to hear.
Open-mindedness. None of us knows it all. Being open to hearing and seeing other perspectives is one of the people skills gifts we give others.
Empathy. Connecting with others in this way — in good times and bad — builds trust. That is quite a gift we give each other.
Clarity. Especially in business and service to others, being clear is a huge gift. Picture how frustrated you feel when others aren’t being clear.
Patience and understanding. The flip side of the gift of clarity, is the gift of patience when others are communicating.
Replace Forced Bluntness w/ Caring Honesty!
What is the risk of forcing your uninvited bluntness on others?
Others will avoid you. This is a huge risk in your work life. It can limit your job opportunities, your teamwork assignments, and your ability to lead. (Others may leave instead of working under your leadership.)
You will come across as emotionally immature. That’s not a label that most adults want to have!
It lowers your credibility. People may see you as a know-it-all oaf rather than someone who shares great insights.
You may end up only with other blunt people in your life. That shuts out so many other adventures and opportunities for your life.
From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™
7 Steps From Blunt to Helpfully Honest
Are You Trapped in Your Emotionally Unintelligent Bluntness
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Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.
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Yes, yes, yes! Any action, hard or soft, can be done with genuine caring, kindness and a desire for someone else to grow. Bluntness is often an excuse for “this is the way I am and it’s good for people to hear a straight shooter like me.” Stepping on someone’s feelings with your bluntness makes them miss the message and grow their disdain for the sender. This is spot on, Kate! Will share!
Thank you Alli. I’ve written several blot posts about bluntness over the years and was surprised to still have people online declare that their bluntness was a gift to others. That drove me to write this post and record the included video. I love your phrase “stepping on someone’s feelings with your bluntness” because it vividly describes what bluntness does. And it is not a gift.
Always glad to read your comments and grateful for your input.