People Skills Success: Be Authentic Not Absolute

Be authentic is the popular advice you hear for success and happiness. It builds trust, right?

Yes as long we are authentic not absolute. Our people skills build trusting connections when we are authentic and still flexible. If we confuse authentic with absolute, we drive people away. Picture the person who often proclaims “this is how I am”. You can almost hear the next statement — “like it or not”.

People Skills Be Authentic Not Absolute Image is: Blue green water

People Skills: Be Authentic Not Absolute Image by:callumscott2

Grateful for image by: Callumscott2 via Flickr Creative Commons License.

People Skills Success: Be Authentic Not Absolute

  1. Authentic builds trust through confidence.

    It shares the confidence with everyone it touches. Conversely, being absolute screams arrogance and drives people away. Authentic is confident enough to bend without losing its essence. Absolute hides it fear of diversity by masquerading as authentic. The disguise doesn’t work. The difference between authentic and absolute is visible through people skills!

  2. Authentic invites others to be themselves.

    People skills that show we are authentic welcome others’ authenticity as well. Being absolute and rigid says “I’m OK, you’re not.” This doesn’t breed success. It feels strong yet topples quickly as people push away from obstinacy.

  3. Authentic shares energy.

    Authentic has a strong natural energy that attracts many to feel and share. Absolute and inflexible spews energy like an exploding volcano and propels everyone to run for their lives!

  4. Authentic piques curiosity.

    Imagine seeing behavior that is very different from how you would behave. If it seems both unique AND authentic, it arouses curiosity. If it seems different but absolute and arrogant, it repels.

  5. Authentic communicates an inner world.

    The essence of each of us comes through authentic people skills. Authenticity is a window that opens others to our past, our ethos, our hopes and dreams. Absolute inflexibility communicates ego and is a solid door shutting out connection.

Being authentic doesn’t rule out empathy and understanding for others. Being absolute does.
Being authentic doesn’t stop us from adapting to people and conditions. Being absolute does.
Being authentic doesn’t promote closed-mindedness. Being absolute does.

Question: How can you be authentic without falling into the trap of being inflexible? See authenticity as a journey of growth not a single destination.

Where has your journey of authenticity taken you with others?

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Post: People Skills: Integrity & Authenticity

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

5 Responses to “People Skills Success: Be Authentic Not Absolute”

  1. Carl says:

    Kate, a pleasure to read your thoughts, as always. I especially liked the 3 comments you added at the very end, almost as footnotes. To embrace empathy and understanding; to adapt and to remain open form the basis for continual growth and excellence in all we do.
    I recently read a quote from Winston Churchill that seems appropriate here:
    “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity where the optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.”

    Best regards,

  2. Khalid says:

    Kudos Kate

    Adding to what Carl said your words hit hard into the mind which open endless doors to rich knowledge.

    Being authentic can be expressed in the following equation:

    Authentic = be YOU – your ego


    • Kate Nasser says:

      Nice formula Khalid! Some people might debate you on the minus sign claiming that nobody can subtract their ego.

      I do believe we can keep ego under control so it doesn’t claim the entire interaction and turn it selfish.

      Always glad to have your insights!

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