People Skills: Precursors to #Peopleskills Influence

People Skills: Influence Through Giving?

As we live, we influence others. Our words and actions impact others in ways that influence their response to us. It’s not always the response we desire.

In leadership, teamwork, sales, and customer service, what we do influences others and can breed various results. It’s not always the result we desire.

How can we use great people skills to get closer to our desired response and result? First we must get much closer to the people. Classic wisdom is that the precursor to influence is seeing others’ views and building trust. But what are the precursors to those!?

People Skills: Precursors to Trust Image is Tree branch with other branchs growing from it.

People Skills: Precursors to Trust & Influence. Image by Marius Waldal.

People Skills: Precursors to Seeing Others’ Views & Trust

Assuming we want to influence not manipulate, the magic happens when our selflessness and purity of heart are clearly visible.

The hard work of selfless giving builds trust.

    People Skills: Precursors to Influence  Image is ice hanging.

    People Skills: Precursors to #Peopleskills Influence Image by: owly9

  • Escape the trap of our own comfort.

    The comfort of trends, data, and standard approaches. The comfort of how we prefer to interact. When we give up our own comfort to focus on others, the trust flows.

    When we focus on our own comfort or tell others we will do whatever they are comfortable with and don’t, the relationship grows cold. Trust drops or even disappears. Our influence with them hangs by a thread and eventually breaks.

  • Suspend our own goal.

    Our goal affects what we say and what we do because it affects what we can see and hear. When our actions are not producing the results we want with others, it’s because others can see that our goal is not to see theirs!

    Blindness doesn’t influence; suspending our own goal to see others does.

  • Welcome influence before we influence.

    When we are open to ideas — to being influenced — we then earn the trust to influence. Influence is not a monologue; it’s a dialogue. It’s not defining great listening as silence; it’s listening to the other person the way the other person defines great listening. Influence is both care and authenticity, not just authenticity.

Despite the trend today on social media to define influence as reach, lasting influence comes from the hard work of selfless giving. There is no greater influence than that.

Something to consider whenever the outcomes are not the ones desired.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™

Related Post:
What’s So Hot About Humility Anyway
12 Most Beneficial People Skills to Influence Others

Grateful for image of tree branches by Marius Waldal and Image of ice crystal by owly9 via Flickr Creative Commons Licenses.

©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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