People-Skills: What’s Your Impression?
by Kate Nasser | 11 Comments »
The impression you make on others impacts the outcome. The impression others make on you impacts what you will achieve together. This is the world of people-skills. What impression do you make? Is it the one you want?
A recent first time face-to-face meeting with a contact left me surprisingly annoyed. He was a visual communicator. He drew everything he said. His focus was on the drawing. He drew at me instead of communicating with me.
The impression he made was isolated and professorial. Yet, we met to network and explore business possibilities. The outcome? Very little since he stayed in his own world of visuals.
There is nothing inherently wrong with using visuals. They clarify when words can’t. They expand understanding beyond the details.
Yet if you surrender your impression (especially your first impression) to any one aspect of your natural style, the end result may not be what you want or need.
Extremes separate you from the rest.
They can get you noticed or isolated.
This is the world of people-skills.
What’s your impression?
When you are online, do your short messages come across as marching orders or effectively concise human connections ? When you are on the phone, does your personality come through? Do you know what impression you make?
Driver personality types achieve results yet can turn people off because they sound like they are issuing orders.
Amiable personality types build connections yet can leave people confused about the message.
Expressives leave no doubt about the message but can strain people’s patience by talking too much.
Analytics draw people in with logic but can lose them by leaving the main point until the end.
Moderating extremes to better connect with others is the world of people-skills. What’s your impression? It’s yours to develop.
Want to learn more about how to adapt? Watch GPS Your People-Skills to Work with Any Personality Type (short video).
From my experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach
©2011 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. If you want to re-post or republish, please email firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach, delivers workshops, keynotes, and consultations that turn interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. Leaders have been booking Kate for 21 years to turn people-skills extremes into business success. See this site for customer results and book Kate now.
Another great blog, Kate!
We have so little time to make a first impression – roughly 20-30 seconds. I’ve seen some people say it’s only about 10 seconds. A person will decide how they feel about you (and ultimately, the degree to which they will connect with you) during those few precious seconds and then spend the rest of the time listening to you within the context of validating their first impression of you.
The behavioral types you have shared here, give a great overview and provide us with clues as to how we can better connect. What I learned from the many people I dealt with over the years was, if I adopted their behavioral style for the first couple of minutes, they were more likely to connect with me. I could then go back into my own style and we could move forward with whatever issue we had to deal with.
Thanks for highlighting this very important subject so well. It’s an area I think people realize is important, but one that tends to be overlooked “in the moment”.
I have actually heard and believe that first assessment takes place in as little as 4 seconds. We have so little time to make an impression, especially when we are not authentic to our true self. We are our brand – beyond any product or service and people will do business with people they know, like and trust. Be true to the real you to help with those first impressions.
Your examples are great to see the variety of communication styles people have. To be most effective remember that people like people who listen to them. Your Drawer did not appear to be interested in connecting with you, but rather impressing upon you his knowledge. He probably is unaware that he is repelling people – unless they are strictly visual learners.
Every one is motivated but motivated differently, to create better impressions we must shift our attention to them and discover how best they like to receive information and deliver our message in that way.
In a world where there is a huge amount of people and promotions shouting to get our attention, I believe we would be better served when we listen and talk with our customers.
Excellent post on first impression and how it is essential in establishing a lasting impression. I often view first meeting as a chance to assess the person’s preferred mode of communication. It is also an opportunity to establish the common ground. This is akin to knowing your audience.
Thanks for sharing.
Yep you’re right on target again Kate. This concept is one of THE first I work with my strategic planning, succession & leadership development clients on. I don’t care how much money they want to make or where they want to take their organizations, if they don’t get this concept of understanding people & persona, they’re going to waste a lot of time, effort & money bullying, pleading, or boring their employees into action. People skills are THE essential took in leadership. Thanks again for your insights Kate! L
I don’t take too much stock in first impressions. People could be nervous, they may not be well, and their dog may have just died. You need to interact with them a couple of times before you can really know who they are and what they are all about. Use those subsequent meetings to confirm or deny your first impression.
I’m a driver. I put people off sometimes. That’s my natural mode. I know that. So I work VERY, VERY hard NOT to be that way. It doesn’t go over well at all. (maybe I should stop being that way at home)
What a wonderful reminder to come to the table open – and take on the tools to help others to open to new ideas. You are looking here at excellent tools to disagree and unless these are used – the distance between brains tends to grow. Great reflection kate – and thanks.
To know what’s your first impression, don’t guess, ask questions to get feedback. Most people love two things : to be heard and to give their opinion ! People change too, especially if you coach them for that purpose. Make sure you truly listen to the person in front of view in the moment and in context without interpreting what she says based on your knowledge of her personality.
Kate, thanks for the great post. We always come up short if we can’t get past “who we are” and get to “where they are.” We don’t exist for ourselves nearly as much as we think. As someone who floats a bit on the styles above, I’m working on my message this week. I spend too much time being amiable and not enough time sharpening the message. Your post lined up precisely with my planned activities this week. Thanks for the reinforcement.
Kate . . . GREAT post. The key point that I got from your post is that there are several ways that people like to communicate. Unless you enjoy talking to yourself it pays to gauge how your audience prefers to communicate. As I like to say, “Some people don’t communicate. They just take turns talking.” Well done 🙂
Have a great day!
Hah Frank! Glad u liked it and still chuckling over “unless you enjoy talking to yourself …” You always bring an interesting spin to your posts and those you touch.