Prevent 20+ Defensive Reactions That Kill Business Relationships
by Kate Nasser | 3 Comments »
Defensive Reactions That Kill Business & Career Success
For business and career success, welcome feedback with confidence and an open mind. This prevents the following defensive reactions that push others away.
Defensive Reactions That Kill Business Relationships. Image by hectorebalcazar via Flickr.
20+ Defensive Reactions That Kill Business Relationships
Imagine a customer, colleague, co-worker, an employee, or teammate telling you they are not pleased with something you’ve done. The very next words you say will determine if or how you will collaborate in the future. Beware these damaging defensive replies:
- Everybody does it. It’s normal.
- You’ve misinterpreted the situation.
- I didn’t mean any harm.
- No harm done.
- You’re exaggerating this.
- Don’t nit pick. It makes you difficult to work with.
- Grow up. Stop whining. Act like an adult.
- I’m an adult. You don’t direct my actions.
- Is this really that important to you?
- It’s not my fault; don’t blame me.
- We all make mistakes.
- I’m sorry if I hurt you.
- I’m sorry but …
- It’s been a bad day for us all.
- This high tech world makes relationships tough.
- That’s the culture and how we do things here.
- That’s just the way I am.
- Everyone else says I’m very nice.
- I’m over tired, over worked etc…
- I don’t see why this matters.
- I guess you are a hyper sensitive person.
- You seem to lack self-confidence.
- So many people respect you, why let this bother you?
All these defensive reactions paint you as insecure, insensitive, self-absorbed, accusatory, and/or unaccountable. Defensive reactions forecast repeat trouble instead of shared success. People picture future difficulties with you instead of great opportunities.
Ask questions to understand, listen, apologize, and offer a remedy and change in behavior to show appropriate respect for others. This rebuilds and strengthens trust, the bond of all business relationships.
From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™
Related Posts:
The Folly of Being Defensive in Customer Service
Use These 15 People Skills Truths for Business Success
Simple Words That Destroy the Perfect Apology
The People Skills Power of Accountability
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Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.
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Let’s turn interaction obstacles into business success in leadership, teamwork, and customer service experience.
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~Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™
Hi Kate,
Empathy and emotional intelligence are the key to any argument. One has to put him/herself in the shoes of others when handling complaints.
Regards,
Khalid
Hi Khalid,
Empathy and emotional intelligence is a great start! Add respect for other’s needs and willingness to apology for mistakes, and relationships regain their strength.
Many thanks!!
Kate
[…] Imagine a customer, colleague, co-worker, an employee, or teammate telling you they are not pleased with something you’ve done. The very next words you say will determine if or how you will collaborate in the future. Beware these damaging defensive replies:Everybody does it. It’s normal.You’ve misinterpreted the situation.I didn’t mean any harm.No harm done.You’re exaggerating this.Don’t nit pick. It makes you difficult to work with.Grow up. Stop whining. Act like an adult.I’m an adult. You don’t direct my actions.Is this really that important to you?It’s not my fault; don’t blame me.We all make mistakes.I’m sorry if I hurt you.I’m sorry but …It’s been a bad day for us all.This high tech world makes relationships tough.That’s the culture and how we do things here.That’s just the way I am.Everyone else says I’m very nice.I’m over tired, over worked etc…I don’t see why this matters.I guess you are a hyper sensitive person.You seem to lack self-confidence.So many people respect you, why let this bother you?All these defensive reactions paint you as insecure, insensitive, self-absorbed, accusatory, and/or unaccountable. Defensive reactions forecast repeat trouble instead of shared success. People picture future difficulties with you instead of great opportunities.Ask questions to understand, listen, apologize, and offer a remedy and change in behavior to show appropriate respect for others. This rebuilds and strengthens trust, the bond of all business relationships. […]