Do You Seek Freedom or Actually Dominance Over Others? | #PeopleSkills
by Kate Nasser | 2 Comments »
So many people say they want freedom yet their actions suggest they want dominance over others. Freedom of expression, freedom to choose your career path, and freedom to be you go right to the heart of what it means to feel truly alive. People picture no limits and feel ecstatic. Yet, as they surge ahead with what they want, they run over and limit other’s freedom. What do you actually do?
Your Freedom vs. Dominance Over Others
Where does this come up in your everyday work and personal life?
The freedom to …
Speak your mind and be you vs. speak your mind in ways that verbally assault and insult others?
Only work the schedule you want to work but meanwhile all your teammates end up adjusting to you?
Practice your religion vs. press and push your religious beliefs into other’s lives?
Go for your dream through any means possible and justify trampling others by calling it freedom?
Be around people who are like you vs. engaging in prejudice and discrimination at work and in everyday life?
Expressing Your Freedom vs. Dominating Others
So many people picture dominance as being a loudmouth boorish oaf. Yet there are far more subtle signs and actions of dominating others.
Do you listen as much or more than you speak? Listening balances your freedom with honoring other’s freedom.
When collaborating, how often do you consider other’s approaches and adapt vs. pushing for yours? Collaboration gives you many moments to balance your ways with others.
You silently believe you are better than others who are different from you? Arrogance and hubris are not expressions of freedom.
You strongly resist change and want things exactly the way you like them right now?
You object to people moving in to your neighborhood who are different from you? That’s discrimination not freedom.
A Caution for Leaders & Managers
It’s up to you, leaders and managers, to make sure you are not discriminating as you hire and select team members. There are many who do discriminate yet justify it as culture fit. They even admit they want team members who are very similar for team cohesion. Moreover, they claim that diversity on a team ruins results. It doesn’t. It prevents groupthink and provides the range of views and skills needed for team success.
Also, leaders and managers, watch for signs of dominance on your teams. Dominant team members hurt morale. Great team members excel without dominating each other. This builds and sustains morale as all feel they have value. Guide all team members to collaborate as you lead morale!
Final Thought on Freedom vs. Dominance
From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™
What’s the Difference Between Showing Initiative vs. Dominating?
23 Common People Skills Mistakes That Drive Others Away
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Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.
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Great reflection questions here, Kate. I think most people like to think they’re not domineering but there are subtle ways that we can hold people back and tell ourselves that it is the right thing. There are a lot of leaders who will benefit from a few minutes of honest check-in with your on-point questions.
I truly appreciate your feedback on this post as “great reflection” because it is the purpose of this blog post. We all need to think about how we balance our needs with others to avoid living the “me only” life both at work and at home.