Social Media Networking: Are You Using These #Peopleskills?

Social Media Networking: What Impression Are You Leaving?

This post is not about social media. It’s about social media networking.

It doesn’t instruct you on infographics, tell you how to use the right tags, guide you on LinkedIn changes, reveal the secrets of Facebook, or construct a marketing blitz. It offers professional people skills tips to increase trust and boost business — once your social media gets people’s attention.

Social Media Networking: Image is Missing Puzzle Piece Says Trust

Social Media Networking: People Skills to Build Trust

Image by Sal Falco via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Social Media Networking: Professional People Skills Tips

Picture it. Social media has made others aware of your business. Now what? How do you interact to keep that positive buzz alive? Here’s how social media networking pros do it.

  1. Be prepared! Learn about others before you contact them.

    Example: Another customer service speaker saw my customer service social media posts. She emailed me about referring engagements to each other. Her email included her one sheet, link to her footage, and how much she charges. She wanted to know what kind of speaking I did and how much I charge. This was the first time I had heard from her. We had no pre-existing relationship.

    If she had viewed the footage on my website, as I did hers, she would have realized we have the same target audience. Her intention may have been to build a network for mutual referrals. However since she didn’t learn about me before contacting me, her actions contradicted her words. She left the impression that she was on a fishing expedition not a journey to mutual success.

  2. Do your research to learn about others. Then engage. While social media is about you, social media networking is about you and others.

  3. Engage before you need help. Give before you receive.

    Share others’ posts. Interview them. Give them great social media shout outs. Invest a little time to build their trust. Contacting people only when you want them to promote your book, attend your webinar, or buy your product says gimme gimme gimme. It’s a turn-off.

    Social media networking is about building relationships to reach your goals. Without the relationship, it’s self-absorbed selling.

  4. Communicate your purpose clearly.

    Example: A podcast host invited me via email to be a guest on his customer experience show. I replied with a few questions and he sent me an information packet. In the email he mentioned they do these as joint promotions and would work with me as time drew near. To me that meant that he and I would promote that podcast.

    When I opened the information packet, I found pages and pages of his speaking engagement credits. This was a different picture. What was his true purpose? To develop and promote a quality podcast on customer experience or mass market his speaking to other speakers? I passed on the offer. It was social media not social media networking.

  5. Reach out sincerely. If you don’t want to network, don’t reach out.

    Example: A customer service speaker whom I knew somewhat on social media also emailed me about mutual referrals. It was a well written email. He noted the engagements that he loves to take on if I didn’t want them. I asked if we could speak briefly sometime to get to know each other a bit more. He replied that a family member was ill and he was short on time. I can certainly understand that.

    But then he added: “Besides it was just a casual request.” He was using social media — transmitting information — not engaging in social media networking. Asking for referrals without a relationship says, “Give me help but don’t ask me for anything.” This doesn’t build trust. It doesn’t produce referrals. It doesn’t boost business.

  6. Engage on a blog before you ask to guest post.

    Once or twice a week I get emails from people I don’t know asking if they can guest post on my blog. They always provide links to the posts they’ve written elsewhere and tell me all about themselves. Once again they are using social media but not engaging in social media networking.

    If you want to guest post for a blog, read and leave comments on that blog. Show that you understand the blog’s purpose. Share the blog’s posts on social media. Interact with others that are leaving comments. The blog owner gets to know how you will promote the blog as well as how you write.

    Give before you asked to be featured. You build trust and gratitude. This is the value of social media networking.

  7. Expand your view. Think from the outside in.

    To interact well with people you don’t know, first learn how they think. Be very curious and explore their view of the issue that interests you both. This outside-in thinking makes bonding and building trust much easier. If you aren’t interested in their views, why would they be interested in helping you or boosting your business?

Social media gets you noticed.

Social media networking gets you relationships for results.

What people skills tips will you share here for great social media networking?

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
9 People Skills Interaction Reminders for Great Social Media Networking
Harmony, What Does It Take to Really Listen

©2014 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.



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15 Responses to “Social Media Networking: Are You Using These #Peopleskills?”

  1. Samantha says:

    What a timely and excellent post Kate!

    I’m sure MANY of us can share a ton of stories about our mishaps and adventures on the learning how to do social media and networking journey! Both in the land of personal ‘faux pas’ and in what other people have pulled with us. HUGE learning curve on this one!

    1. On being prepared and learning about people. Not only is this tip handy BEFORE people start tying to ‘sell’ something, but it’s also a very important concept to keep in mind in general over the LONG HAUL of social media networking. This is NOT the land of ‘instant intimacy’. I have connections that I have intentionally invested in for over two years and I STILL don’t know much about people. We barely see the tip of the ice burg on the course of a life when it comes to what we see and experience in each other through our social media interactions. Getting to know people is an ever evolving ongoing practice. Best not to expect instant ANYTHING if we want to build good, honest, solid networking relations that are mutually beneficial for all involved.

    2. No one should expect people to easily trust them if the focus is mostly on themselves and they expect ore from others then what they give. Granted, I certainly can’t share every blog post, tweet, etc from everyone in my list, circle, etc. And I don’t try. However, there is the ‘core’ circle of relationships that I give my attention to as I am able. And that doesn’t mean I share EVERY post either. I try to share what resonates to keep my own feed with some diversity and integrity. Not just a ‘blind’ resharing of everyone else’s links and blog posts.

    I’ve also had some people send me DM’s of their posts and books and yet have never bothered to engage in a conversation at all. Just a …Thought you might be interested in sharing my post’ type of message. If that’s all I receive from someone and never bother to take the time to read or share anything I’ve ever written. Or even a HI! How are you doing today!? I really don’t feel any obligation to tweet your ‘stuff’. Nor will I apologize to anyone because I won’t continue building someone else’s empire if the only reason they contact me is when they want me to do something that promotes THEM…as in….emails that say…can you retweet some of my tweets? Buy my book? Write a recommendation for x,y,z? Read this…do that….. all for THEM. When we get to that point, better to start giving people a paycheck to work for you instead of pretending it’s a two -way mutually beneficial networking engagement. Narcissism doesn’t work with everyone long term before we catch on, get the clue, and decide not to play the game anymore.

    4. This one makes me giggle. WHY do people get on social media and miss the fact it’s SOCIAL media!? haha AS in….WHY are you communicating with me?! I don’t have TIME for people to communicate with me on social media. Well…WHY are you on social media then? : )

    5. I still have yet to figure out the whole guest post thing. I’ve been asked to do it yet not sure I understand the ‘why’ behind it very well. I’ve read something about link exchanges? Is that the primary reason people do them? Still trying to figure this one out.

    Social media NETWORKING…keep it REAL.

    Great post Kate.

    • Kate Nasser says:

      Hi Samantha,
      I agree with your expansion on #2. No one expects people to share every tweet or comment/share on every blog post. It’s not about absolute loyalty or quantity. It is about engagement and quality interaction.

      As for guest posting, there are some blogs that are truly focused on guest posters and do it well. As for link exchanges, it was a tactic some tried early on. However from what I’ve read recently, search engines have grown wise to it and don’t reward it.

      Thanks for the thought-filled comment here and the final call to action you offer “Social media NETWORKING .. keep it REAL.” Bravo!


  2. Frank Kenny says:

    One thing I notice about those just “doing social media” versus those doing social media networking is the networkers understand that relationship building is now an integral part of the sales funnel.

    In the old funnel, the ones advertisers and interrupters are most comfortable with, there was attention, interest, desire, and action. No where was relationship building mentioned.

    Today, without relationship building, social media is an uphill climb, to say the least. With relationship building, even the smallest of businesses can have an army on their side. ?

    • Kate Nasser says:

      Great addition Frank. The old funnel details make it very clear that old habits die hard. And yet I also agree that relationship selling has existed as well for hundreds of years when people were apt to do business with those they knew.

      The old adage, people do business with those they know and trust as been extended today to …. people do business with those they know, like, and trust. So here’s to relationships and success!

      Grateful for your comment here.

  3. An excellent and timely column Kate! Truth is, I am still learning the do’s and the don’ts when it comes to social media and networking. I have no problem with guest posting and you have raised some great points there in #2. I am careful however to note any hidden motives by the one who wants to guest post ie ‘what’s in it for me?’ ‘gain popularity,’ ‘get more comments’ ‘promote your book?’ etc Sometimes these are not even persons who have interacted with your blog, liked a post, shared your post, and worst, have never left a comment on your blog.

    I agree that more focus should be given to building trust, building relationships with others who have common goals, like purpose so that at the end there is a win-win for everyone, including those we serve through our online services.

    Have a great day!

    • Kate Nasser says:

      Well I certainly agree with your wonderful “in the end there is a win-win for everyone” philosophy Yvonne. It makes sense psychologically and socially.

      Then it leaves us wondering why many people don’t believe in it. They believe that if one person is winning the other is losing something.

      So pleased to have your voice in this blog comment stream.

      Welcome thanks,

  4. Lotus says:

    Kate, thank you for this post. You offer some fantastic advice for everyone on social media. For me personally, this is truly helpful as I am new to most social media platforms. I’ve been engaged on LinkedIn for years but that’s it. I hear a lot of the same cliche advice around the web but your points here are unique and relevant.

    I actually write and engage on social media simply for the purposes of sharing and learning. I don’t have my own business or promote for a business. Yet, I value the relationships and connections I’ve made through social media and completely agree with you that it is a two-way street. The best part is engaging in meaningful conversations about the topics I love!

    I’m still learning though and trying to keep up with social media! Thank you for this great information!

    • Kate Nasser says:

      Thank you Lotus. Your spirit of dialogue and learning is ringing out in your comment. I am grateful for your feedback and even more to share in your spirit of mutual learning.

      Warmest wishes,

  5. Adrienne says:

    Love this post Kate!!
    I could not agree more. I attended a seminar last year by Tim Cork, and he impressed upon us the concept of netgiving. Your blog reminded me of that, and how important it is.
    Essentially, it means that if you want to network, the best way is to get to know people by earning “credits” in your interactions with them. Sending useful articles, making introductions, volunteering a hand, or promoting their causes on social media are examples that he used, as well as simply remembering something about them, and asking about it. For example, if someone goes on a vacation, it is nice to ask them about it afterwards.
    Your article helped me put this concept more into context, so thank you again!!

    • Kate Nasser says:

      You are welcome Adrienne. Bravo to you for putting this “giving” concept into action so quickly by offering your personal examples here on this post.

      I hope you will contribute to any post that interests you.

      Warmest thanks,

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