Successful People Skills: How to Deal With People You Don’t Like | #Workplace

We all have people we don’t like yet if you use these successful people skills to deal with them, you even get the benefits of doing it! Keep these tips handy at work, at places you volunteer, and in your everyday life.

Successful People Skills: Image is diverse people with different looks on their faces.

Successful People Skills: How to Deal w/ People You Dislike.

Image by Peter Forret via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Successful People Skills to Deal w/ People You Dislike

Let’s start with a picture of having to deal with people you don’t like.

  • They patronize you.

  • You feel minimized and annoyed.

  • They always talk about themselves.

  • You want to tell them to shut up or label them as egotistical.

  • They ask you to help yet they never say thank you.

  • You feel used and want to avoid them.

  • They communicate unclearly.

  • You feel frustrated because you don’t understand them.

  • They work and think so differently from you.

  • You feel trapped because you still have to deal with them.

I am sure you could easily add to the list above! However, here are successful people skills steps to deal with those you dislike in any scenario.

Successful People Skills to Work w/ People You Don’t Like

  1. Stop expecting people to be like you. This change of outlook is the first action to dealing with others better. Here are 7 steps to stop expecting people to be like you.

  2. Ask yourself why do they annoy, frustrate, or anger me? Self-awareness is key to successful people skills — especially with people you don’t like.

  3. Clarify don’t assume. If someone is patronizing you find out if they know how they make you feel. “Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” (~ Henry Winkler) and he is so right!

  4. If you are going to assume something, assume their intentions are good or neutral. Then find out for sure. Often it is a difference of personality type. Once you understand different types, you and they can work out any other differences with ease.

  5. Ask yourself what can I learn from this person I don’t like? How they think? How they achieve? What experiences they had that I didn’t? This curiosity replaces your annoyed feeling with actions that create a better interaction. I have used this successful people skills step for years and it is very powerful.

  6. Lastly, picture you and the person you don’t like in a situation where you really need each other. It could be a survival image or even one where you need each other to succeed at work. Or, it could even be that you must join together to help someone else. How would you be interacting? What would be the best image you could imagine? Now use that image everyday to change the way you interact with the person you don’t like.

  7. If someone is still annoying you, simply say please don’t do that in a non-angry voice. I have had tremendous success with this simple request.

Successful People Skills: A Story to Illustrate

In my long career in team-building and conflict resolution, one instance stands out in my mind. A leader said to me at the end of the team-building weekend, “Those two guys went in to the session disliking each other. I come back today for the debrief and they are slapping each other on the back. What did you do? Was it magic?” I replied, I just gave them opportunities to see what they could do together and how much they needed each other.

Key Takeaway

Don’t waste your time being frustrated, annoyed, or angry with someone you don’t like. The seven steps listed above move you from wasting your time to improving your work and life. You are worth it! If you would like input on a tough situation about someone you don’t like, please leave your question in the comments field below.

From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™

Related Posts:
16 Human Trust Breakers & How to Prevent Them
20 People Skills Mistakes That Make People Dislike and Avoid You

©2023 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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2 Responses to “Successful People Skills: How to Deal With People You Don’t Like | #Workplace”

  1. Enrique Olmedillo says:

    On occasions, I have used someone who has influence over the other person, to mediate the conversation. This allows us to put the situation in context by seeing it through the eyes that are not intoxicated with my position or that of “my adversary”.

    • Kate Nasser says:

      Dear Enrique,
      Your explanation about the value of using a mediator is the clearest one I’ve ever read. Many thanks for contributing to this topic with your unique insight.

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