Super People Skills Mindset: 3 Basic Beliefs
by Kate Nasser | 6 Comments »
For a super people skills mindset follows these 3 basic beliefs. Mindset affects our career and business success as our actions follow beliefs.
3 Basic Beliefs of a Super People Skills Mindset
As humans, we are equal.
This basic belief replaces statements that judge others with questions that explore their story.
People Skills Mindset Checkup: How often do you find yourself telling others what they should do? Adults pull away from those who want to rule over them; they collaborate and cooperate with those who want to travel with them!
Labels and categories capture confusion, not truth.
Life is fluid and ever changing. What we think we know about others changes as we listen and discover the truth in the bigger picture. Any label we use about people represents an incomplete picture i.e. existing confusion — not truth.
People Skills Mindset Checkup: Are you very uncomfortable with ambiguity in your life? You like things well defined and clear cut? If yes, ask yourself if you are putting people into categories to comfort yourself. If yes, it’s very likely you are also putting your professional possibilities in a box as well!
Respect is the oxygen of people skills success.
Words that minimize others do not secure success; they threaten it with the inevitable rebellion and conflict that will emerge — now or down the road. Mutual respect builds relationships, minimizes conflict, and dissolves resistance.
People Skills Mindset Checkup: Before you interact with someone else, admit your true motive to yourself. If you feel vengeful, embarrassed, angry, lonely, superior, or humiliated, your motive may be something other than shared a positive outcome. If you find yourself smirking inside before you speak, you are trading respect for a temporary feel good moment. The result is long-lasting mistrust that even your apology won’t dissolve.
Great people skills flow from a mindset that is flexible without being indecisive.
Great people skills are revealed in communication that is honest not blunt.
Great people skills stop today’s painful emotion from ruining tomorrow’s possibilities.
Ultimately, great people skills connect us in bonds of personal and professional success.
We will explore multiple dimensions of great people skills in a Twitter chat (hashtag: #peopleskills) starting Sunday Jan 27, 2013 at 10AM ET (3pm GMT) and every Sunday thereafter at that time. Please join us.
From my professional experience to your success,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™
Personality Conflicts: Seek Results Not Revenge
©2013 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.
All great points, as always 🙂
Great points Kate
Can’t wait for Sunday to share with your the chat 🙂
You have created a great context for approaching people skills here Kate. All require a commitment to mindfulness as the opposite of each is all to often the default. I’m not sure I get that “labels and categories capture confusion” though – seems to me they capture illusion in an attempt to simplify the world. Perhaps the confusion you refer to is what happens when we hold the labels we assign as “the” truth.
Many thanks for your comment. I like your focus on “mindfulness” — that truly captures the spirit of it.
As for my point that labels capture confusion — the opposite of a complete picture is whatever we still don’t know — a form of confusion. When we admit that we do not have the full picture, we are mindful that there is more to learn. When we apply a label to someone it is often to quietly declare that we know the complete picture when alas we don’t.
Kate – You’re right on – these three beliefs set the stage for strong people skills. The first one really resonates with me – As humans, we are equal. When we don’t view ourselves as better than or worse than others, but instead as equals, we are able to truly connect, give and receive feedback, and build authentic relationships.
Nice Post and great thought. Two points I would like to make. Not sure if they are relevant here, but came to my mind.
1. A thought came to me today, “It is of not what I say to you, but what you understand of it, that matters.” I was having a lunch with my friends yesterday and were discussing the Only rule I have been able to identify as Truly Universal “Do unto others what you want others unto you”. While discussing it we said that this rule should ensure the person the best relationships, there can ever be. But then realised that it doesnt work that way always. so we asked why? And the answer came, one we are unknowingly not following the rule and doing something that is not correct. But more importantly, it is that we cannot control the conditions of our life. What we can control is our response to it. Now there are so many ways a person can read your statement, based on what context he/she understands it. It maybe that you are coming from somewhere else, and the person is understanding from some other platform. So what is the rememdy, I have no clear cut answer at this stage, but I do try to understand the counter response from conditions and change my next response accordingly, even if means going silent.
2. About your second point, I do appreciate it a lot. I have come to a conclusion(subject to change if needed in future), that everything is assumption in life. There is nothing absolute in this world. All our actions and words and thoughts arise based on some other thoughts, now who can claim that the basis on which we think is at all correct. I cant make such claim, so came to conclusion, that evrything is assumed and on the basis of some assumptions we operate. But if we dont make assumptions, then we cannot create anything, that is the condition to anything. you cant operate without some basis, thats not how brain functions. So Assumptions are necessary, but it is of paramount importance that we always remember that they are assumptions nothing else.
Then this confusion will not disturb our peace, then we can operate normally. I always look for clarity of thought, because I cant operate in ambiguity but I always remember that I an operating on some assumptions, which one day Conditions will change.
Thank you for a great post.
Gurmeet Singh Pawar.