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When your engaging people skills shine through in your emails, you help everyone. Leaders, managers, teammates, and customers, know the burden of sorting through lists of emails and having to read them. From the subject heading on down, you can make your emails rise to the top of the list. So, infuse engaging people skills into your writing to improve everyone’s success. Here’s how.

Use These Engaging People Skills Concepts in Your Writing. Image by Ant via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Image by Ant via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Include These Engaging People Skills When Writing Emails

Use this list of do’s and don’ts when you write emails or memos. It will infuse your writing with engaging people skills that turn dreaded emails into valuable time-saving communication.

Step One: Listening

• If you are responding to an email, re-read the first email as if that person is speaking to you. Listen to what they are saying, what they are not saying, and what if anything they are asking.

• If there are gaps in your understanding, replace any annoyance you may have with clarifying questions. Assume for now that they did not intend to confuse you. It will stop your frustration and annoyance from showing through in your reply to them.

• Remember, that your mindset affects your listening and that affects how you will write. Emails are not a place to show your anger. It spirals out and creates problems far beyond your temporary displeasure.




Email is not a place to show your anger. It creates a chain reaction of trouble you did not intend. ~ Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™ #PeopleSkills #EmailWars #Communication
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Remember, Engaging People Skills Invite Dialogue & Consensus

• If the subject and purpose of the email discussion seem too complex for email, invite dialogue through other mechanisms (phone, Zoom, etc…) Don’t fall into the trap of giving orders to others via email just because you want to make things clear right now.

Step Two: Respect in Emails

• Be honest not blunt. Honesty is factually truthful yet delivered with care. That is what engaging people skills are about. On the other hand, blunt is truthful but also packed with emotion and your opinion stated as a fact. Bluntness is not a right you can assume. It’s not a gift you give someone. It is a privilege someone grants you when they know and trust you well.

• Be non-judgmental. Instead, seek to understand. If someone writes you an email that makes no sense to you, simply let them know that you don’t understand it. Ask questions to clarify. This is far better than telling them they don’t know how to communicate.

Of course …

• Don’t accuse. If someone writes you a very lengthy email in one giant paragraph with no sections or bullet points, it doesn’t help to reply, “What’s the matter with you? Do you need a course in how to write clearly?” Instead, ask the person to put sections in the email because you are having trouble understanding the key point.

Step Three of Engaging People Skills: Be Clear in Emails About …

• Purpose of the email. I put the purpose at the beginning of the email. It clarifies right from the start everything that follows.

• What the email contains and what you need from them. For example, if you have questions at the end needing their attention, say so at the beginning. It makes reading your email as easy as talking to you. That is engaging people skills in action.

And don’t forget about …

• Your intentions. This clarifies what you intend to do subsequently. It also helps to qualify any moments in the email where you must say something that others may find unsettling. “My intention here is to …” It prevents people from assuming something else (i.e. negative) about you.

• Respecting their time. Use section headings, paragraphs, and bullet points. You can create your own template and use it every time. The first time I used that format with an executive, he got back to me faster than ever before. He also noted how much he liked the format. Well, most everyone wants you to respect their time. So use this format with everyone — not just executives.

Related Posts:
Is Your Bluntness Blocking Your Success?
15 Not-So-Obvious People Skills Truths
Turn These 5 Sources of Conflict into Win-Win Resolution

©2024 Kate Nasser, CAS, Inc. Somerville, NJ. I appreciate your sharing the link to this post on your social streams. However, if you want to re-post or republish the content of this post, please email info@katenasser.com for permission and guidelines. Thank you for respecting intellectual capital.

Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™, delivers coaching, consulting, training, and keynotes on leading change, employee engagement, teamwork, and delivering the ultimate customer service. She turns interaction obstacles into interpersonal success. See this site for workshop outlines, keynote footage, and customer results.

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